Former DCM Won't Give Address

I termed a dcf last week. Dcm has moved and won't give me her address for her refund (about $150). It's a recent move. She's hurt I termed, but I had good reason.

She asked me to give the money to her friend, who has a dcb who also attends here, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with that. Now silence for a few days...what to do?

[Mariahsaint]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I termed a dcf last week. Dcm has moved and won't give me her address for her refund (about $150). It's a recent move. She's hurt I termed, but I had good reason.

She asked me to give the money to her friend, who has a dcb who also attends here, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with that. Now silence for a few days...what to do?

It's perfectly reasonable to not want to pass off money to a random person and hope it gets to the proper recepient. Tell her that you need the address so you can mail it, or she needs to come and pick it up.

If she's refusing to do either, well then it's her loss. You gave her options.

If she were to go to bank for a withdrawal, they wouldn't give it to a friend and hope it gets to her.

Originally Posted by Mariahsaint

It's perfectly reasonable to not want to pass off money to a random person and hope it gets to the proper recepient. Tell her that you need the address so you can mail it, or she needs to come and pick it up.

If she's refusing to do either, well then it's her loss. You gave her options.

If she were to go to bank for a withdrawal, they wouldn't give it to a friend and hope it gets to her.

I did give both of those options...just don't want her coming back and saying I didn't try...! This dcf, or ex-dcf, is super wealthy, so I'm sure it doesn't matter. I just don't want my name smeared over it.

[Mariahsaint]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I did give both of those options...just don't want her coming back and saying I didn't try...! This dcf, or ex-dcf, is super wealthy, so I'm sure it doesn't matter. I just don't want my name smeared over it.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. You gave both options and they are still available for her to take advantage of.

I'd just make sure I have it some form of writing be it e-mail or text. You really can't do much more than that.

I'm sorry they're being such a pain in the you-know-what.

[Thriftylady]

I wouldn't worry about it either! I would let her know that she needs to choose one of the two options you gave her, or she will forfeit the refund. And I would put a time limit on it.

[Mariahsaint]

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

I wouldn't worry about it either! I would let her know that she needs to choose one of the two options you gave her, or she will forfeit the refund. And I would put a time limit on it.

The time limit is a good idea. I wouldn't want dcm showing up two years from now demanding it!

[Heidi]

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by Heidi

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

Such great advice!

[CityGarden]

Originally Posted by Heidi

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

this is what I would do.

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by Heidi

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

If I did this, I would put a "void in X days" note on it.

[LysesKids]

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

If I did this, I would put a "void in X days" note on it.

Exactly... I don't want someone cashing a check 6 months later; Limit it to 30 days MAX, of course my contract states no prepaid fees are refundable for any reason (especially nice to have when a client is violent and I have to terminate immediately or they quit no notice)

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by LysesKids

Exactly... I don't want someone cashing a check 6 months later; Limit it to 30 days MAX, of course my contract states no prepaid fees are refundable for any reason (especially nice to have when a client is violent and I have to terminate immediately or they quit no notice)

Mine also says that, but I can see some situations where I may refund, entirely up to me of course.

OP here, great advice everyone, thanks!

[MyAngels]

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

If I did this, I would put a "void in X days" note on it.

Even if you were to put that notation on the check, the bank doesn't have to honor it. The only way to be sure the check won't be cashed eventually is to put a stop payment on it.

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by MyAngels

Even if you were to put that notation on the check, the bank doesn't have to honor it. The only way to be sure the check won't be cashed eventually is to put a stop payment on it.

Well they may not have to honor it, but it would be a deterrent.

[sleepinghart]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I termed a dcf last week. Dcm has moved and won't give me her address for her refund (about $150). It's a recent move. She's hurt I termed, but I had good reason.

She asked me to give the money to her friend, who has a dcb who also attends here, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with that. Now silence for a few days...what to do?

(^^bolded^^ by me)
~Wait it out, and keep the money till she claims it- I don't see where you have much choice. My guess is she will really need that $150 for something soon(wealthy or not), and she will then reluctantly contact you to give you her new address or she will ask to come by your place for it or for you to meet her somewhere with it. If that doesn't happen within a few weeks, come back here. Good luck & let us know what happens and how it goes!

[sleepinghart]

Originally Posted by Heidi

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

~I really, really love this idea also!

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by sleepinghart

(^^bolded^^ by me)
~Wait it out, and keep the money till she claims it- I don't see where you have much choice. My guess is she will really need that $150 for something soon(wealthy or not), and she will then reluctantly contact you to give you her new address or she will ask to come by your place for it or for you to meet her somewhere with it. If that doesn't happen within a few weeks, come back here. Good luck & let us know what happens and how it goes!

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

[284878]

Originally Posted by Heidi

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

This is excatly what I was going suggest. I think it is the best option. I

Originally Posted by MyAngels

Even if you were to put that notation on the check, the bank doesn't have to honor it. The only way to be sure the check won't be cashed eventually is to put a stop payment on it.

I would call my bank and ask. My CU would not cash a check for my auto loan, written off my checking account from that CU, because I wrote the previous year date. (this happened a few years, at the beginning of the year.)
So I would check to see what they say.

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

I agree

[sleepinghart]

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

(^^bolding^^ by me)
~I totally agree with what you're saying here. I agree that if the parent wants it they should make arrangements and get it within a reasonable amount of time, but unfortunately it does not seem to be working out that way for the OP. I certainly don't think it's fair if she has to hold on to the money for a very long time either, but in the meantime, the money doesn't belong to OP and I don't think it is doing much harm by sitting in a bank account or in some sock drawer.

(Thriftylady quote)"I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund"(end quote)

~I don't either; I mean it's not fair. However, I don't know the law, or even if there is one, on how long the client is entitled to ask for her money back...This is why I suggested she hang on to it as long as possible, or at least until she finds out. I don't think it's likely to happen, but what if this woman comes back say 3-6 months from now, wants her refund, doesn't get it, so then she files in small claims court against OP? Again, I don't think that's likely to happen but I can't be positive. If OP can research and find out the laws with regard to how long she has to hold onto this money that would be great...that's what I'd do and I'd hold on to that money until I found out it was okay not to just to be on the safe side.

OP here, this woman is not the type to sue. She's just hurt I termed and imo, wants to be done.

I highly doubt she wants her money back - when I said they are wealthy, I meant it, but I want to be done with it.

The situation is that dcb, age young 3, had an incident over here. A scrape. Boys play hard here. He tripped. She spent 10 minutes telling me she was afraid to tell her husband, I Didn't know his temper, over and over again. It sounded like a donestic abuse situation honestly, but I don't have enough to report.

I told her that dcb couldn't come back. I can't have a crazy man calling cps on me for normal things that happen to boys. I'm sorry he tripped, but...I'm not going to live my life keeping this boy in a bubble, either.

So yeah, I want to be done with this asap.

[sleepinghart]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

OP here, this woman is not the type to sue. She's just hurt I termed and imo, wants to be done.

I highly doubt she wants her money back - when I said they are wealthy, I meant it, but I want to be done with it.

The situation is that dcb, age young 3, had an incident over here. A scrape. Boys play hard here. He tripped. She spent 10 minutes telling me she was afraid to tell her husband, I Didn't know his temper, over and over again. It sounded like a donestic abuse situation honestly, but I don't have enough to report.

I told her that dcb couldn't come back. I can't have a crazy man calling cps on me for normal things that happen to boys. I'm sorry he tripped, but...I'm not going to live my life keeping this boy in a bubble, either.

So yeah, I want to be done with this asap.

~Wow that is really sad. In that case I would take Heidi's advice and mail the refund check to her old address. More than likely she will receive it, and if she receives it she will likely cash/deposit it; and if not, like PPs said, you'll get the check back if the mail doesn't forward .