Is This What Daycare Used to Be Like?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My mom owned a daycare center when I was growing up (80s and 90s). I found her old policy manual and was sort of shocked by how small it was. She charged an hourly fee per child and other than a few rules, there was very little else. It was tiny compared to some of the policy manuals I have seen these days. She didn't charge vacation days and they only paid when they came. I never remember my mom having kids when their parents were not working. Today, it seems to be a common thing. It made me think of a few things and maybe some of you, especially the veteran providers, can answer my questions.
Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back int he 80s and 90s? If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy? Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not? What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents? Is it the daycares and their price? Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?

I just see so many posts of providers upset because the parents bring their kids to daycare everyday regardless of whether they need it or not and it made me wonder when it became the norm for kids to be in care so much. It never seemed that way at my mom's daycare growing up, so is it a relatively new thing? Thanks for your insight! (Oh, and maybe I should lay off the coffee..thinking too deep on this Monday morning!)

[Cat Herder]

20+ years ago latch key was legal, neighbors helped one another, both parents working full-time wasn't as common, daycare was private, YMCA after school and summer camps were everywhere and kids hung out at the local library.

These are hundreds of other reasons I can think of, but I only have 6 minutes before art begins...

[Cat Herder]

Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.

No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...

[spedmommy4]

It's been more than 20 years but I know I only went to daycare when my parents worked. I also periodically went to my grandmothers house to visit instead of going to daycare. I am not sure if my parents had to pay or not.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I'm new in this but I was home with Grandma. Daycare was the norm for some kids but my mother, who had children back in the 80's said that she was contracted hours, she had a half for travel. But the daycare only served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my mom had to supply milk, and breakfast was not served. Snack usually was a graham cracker split in half and that was it.

The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.

I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.

[Blackcat31]

Child care has changed to meet and fill the needs of current parenting trends/methods.

In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.

The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.

[Baby Beluga]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Child care has changed to meet and fill the needs of current parenting trends/methods.

In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.

The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.

I also remember it being frowned upon if you did more things without your children than with your children. Now, the norm in my age group (30's) seems to be to do very little things with your children leaving grandparents, providers, etc to do most of the child rearing for you.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back in the 80s and 90s?

I've always charged a full year. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy?

Somewhere around the 15 yr mark I eliminated that free off time. I made that change because kids were attending longer hours than in previous years and I hadn't raised my rates in just as many years. It was small move towards a more consistent income.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not?

No. Not for my current clients. Past clients were mostly state assisted families so cost wasn't really a factor for them and the clientele I serve now all seem to expect payment year round (without discounts or credits) as a norm and don't ever question it.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents?

The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities. Parents all seem to think that I will do things that should be a parents job. Parents used to take pride in doing those things themselves.

Dressing your child appropriately, feeding them well, keeping them clean and healthy as well as providing a good consistent routine at home seemed to be the defining aspects to what makes a good parent.

Now its the number of "likes" on Facebook, the brand of clothing displayed on their tushies and the number of extra curricular activities the child is enrolled in before age 2.

The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Is it the daycares and their price?

Nope. My state has not had an increase in child care reimbursement rates since 2006. The difference between the rate I charged when I first opened and what I charge now is pocket change.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?

I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will.

Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can.

Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't.

....because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.

I started in the 80s. There were always parents who brought kids no matter what. Always parents who paid late and picked up late. Always some golden parents too.

52 weeks paid was common here when I started, as well as pay whether or not child attended. I think this is and was dependant on your area.

Much less licensing regulation, and providers could do much more of what parents requested regarding food, sleep, etc. Only 2 forms required for enrollment, so much less paperwork to keep track of. Licensing was a support system for providers then, as opposed to now when it us much more adversarial. There was no charge for licensing then.

Food program paperwork was simpler. You didn't list kids at each meal, just the number of kids. The food program sponsored low cost food "give aways" of subsidy cheese and butter, providers paid a small handling cost. Yogurt was not creditable.

In general, providers were thought of as valued service providers to the families and the community. A much higher percentage of children were enrolled in family care than center care, and centers were thought of as producing children with poorer social skills and behavior. Because of that, centers began to try to emulate family care by breaking children into small groups with consistent caregivers and a designated "home" area within the large room that the center generally was back then.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler

I'm new in this but I was home with Grandma. Daycare was the norm for some kids but my mother, who had children back in the 80's said that she was contracted hours, she had a half for travel. But the daycare only served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my mom had to supply milk, and breakfast was not served. Snack usually was a graham cracker split in half and that was it.

The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.

I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.

Oddly enough, I also went to my grandma's quite frequently too. Even though my mom had a large daycare, somehow grandma's super small trailer was way more fun than a huge building full of kids and toys Of course, she also spoiled us and let us eat whatever we want, so that may have influenced us always wanting to go there

I kind of forgot how important my grandma was in my early years. She did so much and nowadays, I don't see that as much. If my own mom was alive, I feel she would have been the same, but my kids' grandparents on my husband's side are so much different. They will baby sit when we ask, but they definitely do not spend near as much time with them. They are busy with their own lives and enjoying their golden years, so I have no issues with it, just never really realized how much grandparents played a roll in my life. My husband went to his grandma's every day too, but his parents are definitely not people we would count on for even part time child care.

[Country Kids]

I started in June 1997 and charged $1.50 an hour for several years.

I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.

No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.

I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I've always charged a full year. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.



Somewhere around the 15 yr mark I eliminated that free off time. I made that change because kids were attending longer hours than in previous years and I hadn't raised my rates in just as many years. It was small move towards a more consistent income.

Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?


No. Not for my current clients. Past clients were mostly state assisted families so cost wasn't really a factor for them and the clientele I serve now all seem to expect payment year round (without discounts or credits) as a norm and don't ever question it.



The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities. Parents all seem to think that I will do things that should be a parents job. Parents used to take pride in doing those things themselves.

Dressing your child appropriately, feeding them well, keeping them clean and healthy as well as providing a good consistent routine at home seemed to be the defining aspects to what makes a good parent.

Now its the number of "likes" on Facebook, the brand of clothing displayed on their tushies and the number of extra curricular activities the child is enrolled in before age 2.

The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.

This so true and I never even thought about it! The time before and after daycare has changed so much. No more sit down breakfasts or suppers together. It is kind of like everyone is trying to get by with the minimum. I have to feed the kid, but rather than sit down for a home cooked meal, we get take out and eat in the car. I have to bathe them, but once a week is good enough. I have to bring them fed to daycare, but a pop tart in the car should do.


Nope. My state has not had an increase in child care reimbursement rates since 2006. The difference between the rate I charged when I first opened and what I charge now is pocket change.





I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will.

Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can.

Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't.

....because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.

I completely agree! The responsibility factor is so "old school" nowadays

Thank you for the insight!

Oh and I asked a few more questions above in blue

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Country Kids

I started in June 1997 and charged $1.50 an hour for several years.

I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.

No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.

I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.

What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?

I think parents started figuring out that they could leave their child all day and no one judged them. Or atleast not as much as they used to...kwim?

Once one parent started being a daycare dumper and that parent spread the word to others, ("hey Janie your daycare is open 10 hours a day, why not just leave them until closing time? I do.")

Now Janie and her friend Suzie are hitting the beach together without kids and other moms are going "Hey! Where are your kids?"

You know... kind of a monkey see, monkey do type thing.

I honestly do not believe it has anything to do with costs or having to pay. I believe it has everything to do with societal acceptance. As long as someone else is saying it's okay, then it's okay.

We, as a society no longer hold ourselves accountable according to personal moral or ethical guidelines but instead use peer acceptance as a method of influencing and condoning our actions. (in general...not meant as a inclusive statement for everyone).

[Annalee]

I also feel daycare is different today in expectations for children and parents. When I started 20 plus years ago, children were taught/expected to do what ms. xxx said and to be respectful to ms. xxx. the parents also respected ms. xxx. Now, I feel parents are the ones needing coddled which trickles down to the children. I have said before that I use more of my sociology/psychology education than my early childhood education. BC is right on the money with her post!!!!!!!!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

1. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.

2. The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities.

3. The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.

4. I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will. Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can. Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't..... because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.

*I am dropping my PC "Leadership" filter for a bit. Yes, my inspector is often on this forum, but I am entitled to a personal opinion.*

1. I still give two free weeks in hopes of someone taking me up on it. I want them to spend two weeks per year bonding with their kids, as a couple, remembering what their goals for parenthood used to be before "I-Lifestyle" hit. Rarely happens now.

2. Very true. What feels worse is that the State TV advertising budget actually supports their expectations. That all they have to do is check the star rating, dump the kid and wait for graduation. No worries if you can't afford it, someone else will pay. Don't work?, no judgement, you deserve me time. Forget that you are capable of raising kids, yourself. Standardized birth to 18 is better, it prepares them for life better than you can. Young Mom's believe this.

3. This one is happily the one positive change I am seeing. It may not be happening everywhere, but I see more Dad's than Mom's now. Pick-ups, Drop-Offs, school functions, at the park, doctors office, etc. Traditionally, in the south, it was uncommon. It is quickly becoming the norm.

4. It almost feels the opposite. Anger at the ones succeeding at their parenting/marriage goals. I have been called Stepford more than a few times for my personal choices. It is ridiculous to me. I am married with three kids, on purpose. I work from home, on purpose. It should be clean, my kids should be well fed, my laundry should be done, my kids and marriage should come first. How is this something I do vindictively to some other woman? My Husband also works 50+ hours a week to earn his half of the family expenses. Just because I choose to work from home does not mean he should be expected to maintain a daycare when he comes home from work. Frankly, I want some couple time at that point, if the kids are doing their own thing. If the kids need him, that trumps; for now anyway. IDK, perspective I guess.

[daycarediva]

I have all of my dc kids from contracted drop off to contracted pick up, regardless of where the parents are. As others have said, it is not only socially acceptable, it is encouraged. I never remember parents back in the 80's-90's having mom's day off, or spa days, or needing this level of "me" time.

We parent our kids very differently than this generation. I always tell my kids. "In here, it's 1950. Out there, it's 20XX." Responsibility, respect, household chores you aren't paid for, dinner nightly, breakfast cooked/eaten together. etc. Also, we live well within our means so that we don't both HAVE to work. Dh or I are always with our kids. They were in daycare part time when my oldest two were young, but it didn't last long. It felt unnatural to be away from them so much. We changed work schedules to work opposite shifts so the kids were home.

ETA- It saddens me that these children don't have regular family lives like my children do. On weekends they have sitters and go to grandparents homes. It is rare for both parents to spend the evening/weekend with their child/ren.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

*I am dropping my PC "Leadership" filter for a bit. Yes, my inspector is often on this forum, but I am entitled to a personal opinion.*

1. I still give two free weeks in hopes of someone taking me up on it. I want them to spend two weeks per year bonding with their kids, as a couple, remembering what their goals for parenthood used to be before "I-Lifestyle" hit. Rarely happens now.

2. Very true. What feels worse is that the State TV advertising budget actually supports their expectations. That all they have to do is check the star rating, dump the kid and wait for graduation. No worries if you can't afford it, someone else will pay. Don't work?, no judgement, you deserve me time. Forget that you are capable of raising kids, yourself. Standardized birth to 18 is better, it prepares them for life better than you can. Young Mom's believe this.

3. This one is happily the one positive change I am seeing. It may not be happening everywhere, but I see more Dad's than Mom's now. Pick-ups, Drop-Offs, school functions, at the park, doctors office, etc. Traditionally, in the south, it was uncommon. It is quickly becoming the norm.

4. It almost feels the opposite. Anger at the ones succeeding at their parenting/marriage goals. I have been called Stepford more than a few times for my personal choices. It is ridiculous to me. I am married with three kids, on purpose. I work from home, on purpose. It should be clean, my kids should be well fed, my laundry should be done, my kids and marriage should come first. How is this something I do vindictively to some other woman? My Husband also works 50+ hours a week to earn his half of the family expenses. Just because I choose to work from home does not mean he should be expected to maintain a daycare when he comes home from work. Frankly, I want some couple time at that point, if the kids are doing their own thing. If the kids need him, that trumps; for now anyway. IDK, perspective I guess.

I like you so much better when you are filter-less.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I like you so much better when you are filter-less.

Me, too.

...but my heirloom glass cabinet cost me some points. I have to buy three.

Eh, maybe I will just submit an article to the paper instead.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Yes, I think the big change is no one does much with their kids. I have had two families that took vacations for themselves and didn't include their children. They both have yet to use the free vacation week I offer them.

Just today a particular goodbye was rough on a dcg, then come to find out she was at Grandma's all weekend, all the while dcm is asking why she doesn't want to be at my house today.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Oddly enough, I also went to my grandma's quite frequently too. Even though my mom had a large daycare, somehow grandma's super small trailer was way more fun than a huge building full of kids and toys Of course, she also spoiled us and let us eat whatever we want, so that may have influenced us always wanting to go there

I kind of forgot how important my grandma was in my early years. She did so much and nowadays, I don't see that as much. If my own mom was alive, I feel she would have been the same, but my kids' grandparents on my husband's side are so much different. They will baby sit when we ask, but they definitely do not spend near as much time with them. They are busy with their own lives and enjoying their golden years, so I have no issues with it, just never really realized how much grandparents played a roll in my life. My husband went to his grandma's every day too, but his parents are definitely not people we would count on for even part time child care.

That IS interesting now that I think about it over here, too!
My Grandparents had a bedroom for the grandkids, a playroom, etc. We went over there often and slept over.

My daughter, 3 tomorrow, just had her first sleepover at my parent's home. She was awake for 4 hours of it and I picked up the next morning. They don't ever request to have her/do something alone with her so I just go to their home to spend time together every weekend. They love it but it is much different than how my grandparents were, both kids, when I was growing up. Fascinating! Wonder what that's about.

We only have one set of friends who doesn't pay a baby-sitter multiple evenings each week AND send their child to their grandparents every weekend/multiple weekends a month. We are the weird ones.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

I have all of my dc kids from contracted drop off to contracted pick up, regardless of where the parents are. As others have said, it is not only socially acceptable, it is encouraged. I never remember parents back in the 80's-90's having mom's day off, or spa days, or needing this level of "me" time.

We parent our kids very differently than this generation. I always tell my kids. "In here, it's 1950. Out there, it's 20XX." Responsibility, respect, household chores you aren't paid for, dinner nightly, breakfast cooked/eaten together. etc. Also, we live well within our means so that we don't both HAVE to work. Dh or I are always with our kids. They were in daycare part time when my oldest two were young, but it didn't last long. It felt unnatural to be away from them so much. We changed work schedules to work opposite shifts so the kids were home.

ETA- It saddens me that these children don't have regular family lives like my children do. On weekends they have sitters and go to grandparents homes. It is rare for both parents to spend the evening/weekend with their child/ren.

Okay so it isn't only in the south that this is happening. Intriguing.


Love the 1950's comment. We parent "strictly" according to most people.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist

That IS interesting now that I think about it over here, too!
My Grandparents had a bedroom for the grandkids, a playroom, etc. We went over there often and slept over.

My daughter, 3 tomorrow, just had her first sleepover at my parent's home. She was awake for 4 hours of it and I picked up the next morning. They don't ever request to have her/do something alone with her so I just go to their home to spend time together every weekend. They love it but it is much different than how my grandparents were, both kids, when I was growing up. Fascinating! Wonder what that's about.

We only have one set of friends who doesn't pay a baby-sitter multiple evenings each week AND send their child to their grandparents every weekend/multiple weekends a month. We are the weird ones.

Here's my theory. The younger generation does not have any respect for the older generation. Because things have changed regarding how children sleep, how their fed, and other drastic thing that have changed, this younger generation doesn't believe that grandparents are capable of raising their children.

Also, I think a lot of us came from working mothers who are still working today. The generation before had moms who stayed at home and raised the family and either worked at night or weekends. I think people also were closer to their communities than they are now.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler

Here's my theory. The younger generation does not have any respect for the older generation. Because things have changed regarding how children sleep, how their fed, and other drastic thing that have changed, this younger generation doesn't believe that grandparents are capable of raising their children.

Also, I think a lot of us came from working mothers who are still working today. The generation before had moms who stayed at home and raised the family and either worked at night or weekends. I think people also were closer to their communities than they are now.

I guess it's one extreme or the other! You have the parents dropping off their children at the grandparents every weekend OR you have the grandparents not requesting a lot/any alone time.

Mine was a SAHM growing up until she had to assist my Dad with his business. I went to a small in home daycare after school hours and in the summer. I remember being allowed to go play in the backyard outside unmonitored with other kids, jumping on a trampoline, etc. We also watched a lot of TV.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler

Here's my theory. The younger generation does not have any respect for the older generation. Because things have changed regarding how children sleep, how their fed, and other drastic thing that have changed, this younger generation doesn't believe that grandparents are capable of raising their children.

Also, I think a lot of us came from working mothers who are still working today. The generation before had moms who stayed at home and raised the family and either worked at night or weekends. I think people also were closer to their communities than they are now.

That is interesting! I have seen the lack of regard or respect for grandparents from a few of my dcps. They seem to forget that they were raised by these same people and they do have more experience with children than the parents do. I'm not saying all grand parents are awesome or fit to care for a child (), but I always looked to my mom and grandma for advice, so I cannot even imagine not listening or seeking out their advice when it came to my children. Seems like that extended family childcare has really gone away in favor of structured daycare.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist

I guess it's one extreme or the other! You have the parents dropping off their children at the grandparents every weekend OR you have the grandparents not requesting a lot/any alone time.

Mine was a SAHM growing up until she had to assist my Dad with his business. I went to a small in home daycare after school hours and in the summer. I remember being allowed to go play in the backyard outside unmonitored with other kids, jumping on a trampoline, etc. We also watched a lot of TV.

We were outside from morning until it got dark. We were never inside unless it was storming even in winter. It seems no one wants to play outside anymore either!! 15 mins and they're all begging to go back inside.

Things have changed so much!

[Snowmom]

Just had to say:
I've loved this topic and reading people's perspectives and opinions about the changes over the years.

It's something that's been on my mind too.
For how "connected" we are to the world via internet, text, social media, etc... it's so disheartening to see core family values changing so much.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

That is interesting! I have seen the lack of regard or respect for grandparents from a few of my dcps. They seem to forget that they were raised by these same people and they do have more experience with children than the parents do. I'm not saying all grand parents are awesome or fit to care for a child (), but I always looked to my mom and grandma for advice, so I cannot even imagine not listening or seeking out their advice when it came to my children. Seems like that extended family childcare has really gone away in favor of structured daycare.

I feel the same. Today young kids are so bored!!!

I don't ever remember being bored, we always had something to do, ride bikes, play ball in the backyard, come up with games, etc.

I still go to my mom and gramma for advice and trust them. What they suggest always works!

[sharlan]

I started 32 years ago. I had no contracts and no parent handbook. I didn't need one. Parents paid on time, picked up on time, and kept their kids home when they were home.

I've only had a contract for 5 years.

[laundrymom]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I like you so much better when you are filter-less.

I second this!!!!!

[nanglgrl]

I the early 90's when I did my first stint of home daycare it was much simpler. Most of my clients were lower income but didn't try to take advantage of subsidy. They only had their children in daycare when needed as far as I know (really though it could just be that I couldn't see they weren't at work on social media). I never remember having to coddle a parent, I had no contract and only basic info on each child and daycare was more like babysitting (I'm ashamed to say it but I watched my soaps while they played) they also watched a lot of Barney back then. Parents were more willing to travel across town to send their children somewhere they liked. The state was basically not even involved.
The biggest change for me over the last 15 years (my second stint at daycare) has been what's expected of me and the pressure put on children to do things be it potty training or basic learning. I feel like most think all social skills, potty training and learning should happen here even though I only have them about 4 waking hours a day. People used to call me babysitter (I didn't mind) and now they call me teacher (I don't like it).
It seems parents have switched from wanting a provider that's like a family member in a home environment to wanting a center like atmosphere and less of a personal connection to the provider. We did strive to be seen as professionals.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Snowmom

Just had to say:
I've loved this topic and reading people's perspectives and opinions about the changes over the years.

It's something that's been on my mind too.
For how "connected" we are to the world via internet, text, social media, etc... it's so disheartening to see core family values changing so much.

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Just thought of another question! I know that regulations have increased and providers have more requirements than they did before. Do you think this, the government regulation, has impacted daycare in a negative way? Like, making it more expensive fro those who cannot qualify for assistance? Or, make it less accessible to find caregivers because they don't want to deal with the laws?

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

[TXhomedaycare]

This is a very interesting topic and I am enjoying seeing the responses. I have not been doing home daycare long but I spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for kids today. I read an article yesterday that what titled Why My Kids Are Better Off In Daycare. There were literally hundreds of responses from moms stating that they are better parents because they take their kids to daycare. Most of the time when I see mom articles I only see complaining, defending poor choices, making excuses and only thinking of themselves. How do parents (both mom and dad) not realize that it is not about them once they decide to have kids. My husband and kids come first and I schedule time for myself when I can but they are my priority. I chose to have kids and it is my job/responsibility (and they are counting on me) to take care of them and prepare them for the future. I quit my job and started a home daycare because I refuse to leave that job up to someone else. I was raised old school and still have that mentality of no excuses, you take responsibility for your actions and it is not about how you feel you need to treat people fairly and do things right.

My parents are in their 60's and they both still work and they rarely ever ask to watch their grand kids but I don't ask often either because they still work. My parents moved from Ohio and Michigan to Texas before I was born so I never grew up with grandparents that lived close enough to spend time with so I guess I just missed out on that all together. I do remember going to a home daycare and being watched by the parents of childhood friends when my mom was working but my family always ate dinner (homemade)together and my dad took my brother and me out most weekends to have fun and give my mom a break. I got to grow up and watch my mom and dad be a team and they were both involved in our lives and they always expected us to do our best. We seem to be getting further and further away from some of those basic principles and that is what makes it hard to childcare providers.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by TXhomedaycare

This is a very interesting topic and I am enjoying seeing the responses. I have not been doing home daycare long but I spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for kids today. I read an article yesterday that what titled Why My Kids Are Better Off In Daycare. There were literally hundreds of responses from moms stating that they are better parents because they take their kids to daycare. Most of the time when I see mom articles I only see complaining, defending poor choices, making excuses and only thinking of themselves. How do parents (both mom and dad) not realize that it is not about them once they decide to have kids. My husband and kids come first and I schedule time for myself when I can but they are my priority. I chose to have kids and it is my job/responsibility (and they are counting on me) to take care of them and prepare them for the future. I quit my job and started a home daycare because I refuse to leave that job up to someone else. I was raised old school and still have that mentality of no excuses, you take responsibility for your actions and it is not about how you feel you need to treat people fairly and do things right.

My parents are in their 60's and they both still work and they rarely ever ask to watch their grand kids but I don't ask often either because they still work. My parents moved from Ohio and Michigan to Texas before I was born so I never grew up with grandparents that lived close enough to spend time with so I guess I just missed out on that all together. I do remember going to a home daycare and being watched by the parents of childhood friends when my mom was working but my family always ate dinner (homemade)together and my dad took my brother and me out most weekends to have fun and give my mom a break. I got to grow up and watch my mom and dad be a team and they were both involved in our lives and they always expected us to do our best. We seem to be getting further and further away from some of those basic principles and that is what makes it hard to childcare providers.

That statement (RED above) is probably the one thing I have the hardest time with because of your other statement (bolded in black).

Often times on this board you will see that reflected in what I post or comment on. The lack of personal responsibility is something I simply can not fathom and more often than not, I feel a lot of the issues in today's world are rooted in the absence of that concept.

I should add that I don't feel parents should live FOR their child...I was more or less commenting on the fact that the only humans that have a right to be so egocentric are those not yet old enough to drive.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Do you think this, the government regulation, has impacted daycare in a negative way?

No. The state regulations my state have not changed all that much really. The only difference between now and when I first opened is safe sleep being taken much more serious than in previous years.

The overall licensing regulations in my state though are pretty simple and haven't gone through too many changes.

yet.


The ONE thing that has changed drastically and had the most impact on me is liability.

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Like, making it more expensive fro those who cannot qualify for assistance?

Nope in this area too. Like I said previously the rates in my area haven't changed a whole lot and as a matter of fact, CCAP (child care assistance program) has done the most changing (in and of itself) and the number of families that use CCAP has increased tenfold.

It used to be that the families struggling and needing assistance were like really really dirt poor. Now the majority of families I have in care using assistance drive the newest cars, have college degrees and own their own homes.

They also have the most amount of kids (either within the same set of parents or with the same mother).

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Or, make it less accessible to find caregivers because they don't want to deal with the laws?

We are have tons of providers in my area (both legal and illegal) so finding care isn't too tough for most people.

Infants are hard to place but it really isn't due to lack of space but more to do with lack of providers willing to take on an infant. (this is of course a whole 'nother topic )

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

Thank you for sharing this and man would I have loved to be a fly on the hiking trail! I love hearing about what younger generations expect from their futures. Years ago, the expectation was to make enough money to feed/care for your family and live comfortably. Now, we need to not only work, but also feed our intellectual side by traveling, holding many degrees, and basically stalling on that whole adulthood concept

You post reminded me sooooo much of a movie I love...Wild, with Reese Witherspoon. There is a scene where she is a young adult in the car with her mom speaking of books they are reading. Reese's character felt her mom's book choices were terrible and for ignorant people and she asked what it like to raise a kid who is so much more sophisticated than her (kind of trying to belittle her). Her mom said that raising her to be a better person than she is was her plan all along. She just didn't realize it would hurt sometimes.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

No. The state regulations my state have not changed all that much really. The only difference between now and when I first opened is safe sleep being taken much more serious than in previous years.

The overall licensing regulations in my state though are pretty simple and haven't gone through too many changes.

yet.


The ONE thing that has changed drastically and had the most impact on me is liability.



Nope in this area too. Like I said previously the rates in my area haven't changed a whole lot and as a matter of fact, CCAP (child care assistance program) has done the most changing (in and of itself) and the number of families that use CCAP has increased tenfold.

It used to be that the families struggling and needing assistance were like really really dirt poor. Now the majority of families I have in care using assistance drive the newest cars, have college degrees and own their own homes.

They also have the most amount of kids (either within the same set of parents or with the same mother).



We are have tons of providers in my area (both legal and illegal) so finding care isn't too tough for most people.

Infants are hard to place but it really isn't due to lack of space but more to do with lack of providers willing to take on an infant. (this is of course a whole 'nother topic )

The liability issue is huge anymore. Was it always this way? Since regulations on sleep and other issues have developed and increased, has the liability of providers gone up as well? It is ironic, since the newer parenting trends seem to condone practices that are not allowed in daycare, per regs. And of course, liability must be the main issue when it comes to infant care. Thaat an the cap on how many kids you can have I would guess, but I almost think the liability and SIDS issue is almost more of a deterrent.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

You post reminded me sooooo much of a movie I love...Wild, with Reese Witherspoon. There is a scene where she is a young adult in the car with her mom speaking of books they are reading. Reese's character felt her mom's book choices were terrible and for ignorant people and she asked what it like to raise a kid who is so much more sophisticated than her (kind of trying to belittle her). Her mom said that raising her to be a better person than she is was her plan all along. She just didn't realize it would hurt sometimes.

Oh, wow, Thank you for that. I will have to ROKU that. Maybe it will prompt more discussions. My biggest fear is that because of their aspirations that a simple life will always feel like failure. What if there are no jobs when they graduate that will support all these big plans. The degrees they talk about don't seem to have big salaries attached to them, plenty of personal satisfaction, though. In my experience being cold, wet and hungry kind of zaps creativity. Will they be the next prozac generation. Time will tell, I guess.

[Pepperth]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.

No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...

Thanks for the book recommendation. I just bought it off amazon (like 30 minutes ago. can't wait for it to come in the mail now. ) I don't have anything to add to this discussion, having only been in daycare for a year and a half. However, I'm finding this discussion fascinating.

[childcaremom]

I have not been doing daycare very long. My first stint was when my oldest was young (early 2000s) and now for about the past 6-7 (small closing period in there).

I think this is an interesting convo.

I have not noticed a trend as far as using full daycare hours vs keeping kids home when they are off. I've always dealt with both types of parents. All of my current families are involved parents and spend time with their children (due to my screening process, not trends). I guess my trend would be to increasingly screen for these types of families.

I see a LOT of involved fathers. No difference between then or now.

I'm not licensed so can't comment on any of that. However, I know that in my province, the trend seems to be moving towards having legally unlicensed dayhomes become registered with an agency. It isn't required. Yet.

As far as grandparents, I have seen a few parents who max out their daycare hours here and then max out grandma hours on the weekend, but have gotten better at my screening process so don't see that too much anymore. I do think that spending time with extended families is so important for all parties but I don't have any families now that take advantage of that. All of my current families have local family and grandparents usually take them one or two days a month. These are all younger grandparents who are retired, active and in good health.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Oh, wow, Thank you for that. I will have to ROKU that. Maybe it will prompt more discussions. My biggest fear is that because of their aspirations that a simple life will always feel like failure. What if there are no jobs when they graduate that will support all these big plans. The degrees they talk about don't seem to have big salaries attached to them, plenty of personal satisfaction, though. In my experience being cold, wet and hungry kind of zaps creativity. Will they be the next prozac generation. Time will tell, I guess.

A simple life is hard to promote on facebook Doing laundry, saving money, making dinners...whats glamorous about that! It is not social media worthy, therefore, it is lame

I hope you like the movie, btw. I loved it, but it hit home for me in a lot of ways. The main character (Reese witherspoon) is facing trials in her life, one being her mother passing away, so she decided to hike the Pacific Coast Trail. It is a movie where you may be really bored (not a lot of dialogue) or you will feel strangely connected and it will resonate with you, imo. In relation to your earlier post...Reese spends her young adulthood looking down on her mother for not being something "greater" than just a mom. She resents that she did not have a mother that was stronger, smarter, more ambitious. She spends her time on the trail reflecting on her life and her expectations (and actual reality) of what her mom did for her. (Ironically, it took being out in the middle of nowhere, with no distractions, screens, outside opinions to come to her realizations...funny how that works I loved it and hope you do too!

[Country Kids]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?

Times and parents have made it change! No way would i be able to make any money on $1.50 an hour and just when they were here.

I'm not a babysitter and have put much time into trainings and my program to become a profession. For this handbooks, better contracts, longer registration forms have been needed.

Not many people last longer than 5-10 years in this business and the ones that do are in it for the long haul and will have the professionalism that you don't see in the stay at home moms wanting a playmate for their child.

[Chickadee-Tree]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

A simple life is hard to promote on facebook Doing laundry, saving money, making dinners...whats glamorous about that! It is not social media worthy, therefore, it is lame

These ladies sure promote that stuff on Facebook just fine!
http://www.embracingasimplerlife.com/
http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/
Laundry, saving money, making dinners.... ALL VERY BIG TOPICS on the Internet/blogosphere, with a ton of people blogging about it! So many women, young and old, (and some men too!) are dedicating their talents to the old-fashioned arts of home-making-- the modern twist is, they're using their 'oldschool' passions to fuel modern careers. And they have tons of followers who are just living it (without writing or blogging about it).

I think that yes, after the big feminism revolution, the housekeeping/SAHM thing got a lot of flak, it wasn't "enough". But now, I'm seeing a lot of stuff online that is showing a backlash at that mentality, which is great!
People are realizing that it wasn't about switching sides (home vs career)-- it's about the freedom to choose what YOU want for your own life. Some people want careers, some want home/family life, and some want both.
It's been a conversation going on for decades.... Sadly, I think it'll continue going on for a long time, before homemaking gets the respect it deserves, and career moms likewise get respect and no judgement

[Mike]

I can't give input from the daycare side of things, but have definitely seen changes in parenting over the years.

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.

No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...

That's ok. Back then, fathers didn't do as much with the kids because their main job was to be the breadwinner, and back then, male daycare was pretty much non-existent. I first got interested in the idea of doing daycare about 9 years ago, and just in the last 9 years I can see huge changes in the acceptance of that idea.

[lovemydaycare0912]

My mom didn't necessarily do daycare, but she watched neighbor's grandchildren. This was 12 years ago. She charged 150 for a 1 year old for maybe 2 years. He was at our house I wanna say 730 or 830 until maybe 500 or 530. His sister was around 10 at the time, she went to middle school with me and we she came over my house when school was done for free. My mom had no handbook, contract, or anything. This lady paid her on time always, and was never late picking up. This family is actually more like my own family now. I attended the girl's wedding a few years ago and the boy is now 13!

[daycarediva]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Ironically, this was the topic of discussion on a recent hike with my kids (young adults). They brought up the idea of whether we (global we) are actually part of an ongoing social experiment by Zuckerburg types.

They mentioned that science and tech minded kids often felt cut off in social group situations and "online social groups" changed the skillset needed to be "popular" thus flipping the script on previously accepted/rewarded social standards.

That once the script was flipped the old standards lost their social value. New values had to replace them. Home, family and relationships now seem too menial. "Only" a mother, wife, husband, father is simply not enough. (With the horrifying example that more people know who Kim Kardashian is than Carole Mundell.)

That what I do for a living now is sad unless I get to go travel, learn, explore and "do something" later. They were proud of my previous job in public service as that was challenging. That they love me, but want to do more with their lives. It went deeper and I got lost a few times, but it was an intriguing conversation.

It was not meant to be hurtful, they were blissfully unaware that it might have been. I want them to "do more", too. That is what my career choices were all about to begin with. Maybe they will get that later...

Very interesting how the majority of tech savvy careers have low tech kids. Eg. Steve jobs http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fa...rent.html?_r=0

Makes you wonder, for sure!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

Very interesting how the majority of tech savvy careers have low tech kids. Eg. Steve jobs http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fa...rent.html?_r=0

Makes you wonder, for sure!

Interesting article. Ugh, it does make you question your parenting choices. Out here there is not a lot of access to unbiased education. Everything is censored, pages torn out of textbooks, permission slips for different topics only to have the teacher refuse to teach them.

I allowed almost constant use of Khans and many other educational sites. I used K-12 online school in conjunction with public school. I wanted them to have a more complete education. One I did not have.

What I did not know was apparently what I could not have known. I got my first computer the same day my kids did. I guess we will be the generation gap that they study...

[Pestle]

Originally Posted by Chickadee-Tree

I think that yes, after the big feminism revolution, the housekeeping/SAHM thing got a lot of flak, it wasn't "enough". But now, I'm seeing a lot of stuff online that is showing a backlash at that mentality, which is great!
People are realizing that it wasn't about switching sides (home vs career)-- it's about the freedom to choose what YOU want for your own life. Some people want careers, some want home/family life, and some want both.
It's been a conversation going on for decades.... Sadly, I think it'll continue going on for a long time, before homemaking gets the respect it deserves, and career moms likewise get respect and no judgement

I know! I had a working single mom, so I took care of myself and my little brother at home starting when I was 8. Not quite typical, but not so weird in the '80s and '90s. When I was an office employee, it was so hard to find care that was even open during regular office hours--most day cares and preschools don't accommodate a standard 8-5 parent workday. I couldn't understand the moms who dropped their kids off late at school, while wearing jogging outfits on a weekday, and picked up early. I mean, why have your 2-year-old in a school program anyway if you have all that time and money to teach them yourself?

After 3 years of the stress of rushing out the door, spending all day away from my child, worrying what the boss was thinking about having a mother on staff, worrying about getting a call from the day care or the school, rushing to pick her up, being stuck in traffic all the way home, wolfing down supper and going straight to bed . . . I said, "Forget this. I'm going to be the person caring for the kids."

So I open my daycare, and what does my 2nd enrolled family do? Drop their kids off with me all day so they can go boating. So, I've felt the pain on both sides of this issue, and I totally judge the other parents on both sides, too.

[Ariana]

Interesting discussion!!

Parenting in my opinion is harder today than it used to be. We have so much information and research at our finger tips showing us how much we are screwing up and how messed up our kids will be if we don't do XYZ. My mom would open the door and we would play outside ALL DAY! She didn't have to really take care of us. She was free to cook and clean without much interruption. We got fed and clothed but we played outside on our own a lot. Nowadays my kids have no one to play with outside because no one is outside anymore. We have kids on our street that I see maybe once or twice a year! There are no stay at home moms anymore and no one trusts anyone. Therefore my kids are with me 24/7 which can be stressful. Sure they go and play but it is not the same as if they had lots of friends outside running around. My mom didn't have parenting books and the internet telling her what to do and what not to do...she never worried about her kids growing up and having problems or mental issues etc. She was completely ignorant to it!

I just read an article that was saying that sensory issues are stemming from lack of unstructured play time outside in nature. I would LOVE to provide that for my kids but HOW? There are no other kids around, the forest is about a mile from my house. I can see why so many parents choose daycare. It helps fullfill the void that is created by the type pf society we are living in where no kids are outside and we keep to ourselves, not to mention the desperate need to work.

My parents live 5 seconds from my house and they rarely take the kids. As someone else was saying they truly are the me me me generation in my opinion. They never had to experience parenting the way we did, with constant scrutiny and lack of resources and trust. Daycare nowadays is a business whereas before it was much more like babysitting.

[Dardy]

I have been doing daycare for nearly 30 yrs and it's true the manuals were a few pages. Government regulations have run many home daycares out of business. I did not used to charge for time off, but I was losing money. I would have planned meals and then the child would not show up. I now charge for absent days and they pay 1/2 rate if 2 wk notice is given of vaca. I get a 2 wk paid vaca each year. I have taught preschool for the same amt of time and I do it year round. I start at age 1 and used to charge additional tuition(eliminated) but recently raised my rates to cover costs. The parents do not want their child to miss a lesson and neither do I. I use a state approved curriculum and have never had an opening in my business go for more than 24hrs.

[crogers]

Yes, things have changed so much in early education. After 29 years in this field, I see a desperate need for quality care. The policy manual has been filled with more and more policies due to the constant increase of regulations from government organizations. This had made it pretty much impossible for home providers to survive. The days of opening up your home out of love for children and to fill a big need for working parents are over. We hear so many negative stories of in-home care, we never hear of the positives Then there are folks out there just waiting to sue somebody over anything. Yes, this business has grown! About charging tuition regardless of attendance: We have 34 teachers in our center, we offer them benefits: a monthly salary, paid vacation and sick leave, insurance options, and a pension plan. We have to charge our parents a monthly tuition rate that is due no matter their attendance, in order to keep our staff. Otherwise, the turnover would be terrible. I know we are fortunate to be able to offer these benefits. Other centers cannot even begin to consider offering benefits until they can count on a consistent flow of income they can budget for. If you treat your staff with respect, get to know them and care about them, pay them as much as your budget allows, the rewards will pay off.
As a parent myself, I know being able to leave my children for a few hours with another person that I trusted made me a better Mom!
Also, we need to think of this profession as, just that, a profession! We are professionals, or should work to be! The term "daycare" has a negative connotation to it; we care for the child, not for the day. We should think of ourselves as Early Childhood Education Centers. Set your expectations high!
I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned. I might need to lay off the coffee myself! Thanks for your thoughts!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by crogers

I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned.

Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday.

They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!

Nah, I really just liked it. My other current fav's are:

Einstein Never Used Flashcards: Hirsh-Pasek, Golinkoff, and Eyer

Finding your smile again: Johnson

Standardized Childhood: Fuller

Mindset: Dweck

[Febby]

Growing up in the 90's, my mom was a SAHM. However, I did go to daycare for a half day once per week because there was a home daycare next door and my mom watched the daycare lady's kids after school. I'm pretty sure my mom spent my daycare time taking a nap and catching up on cleaning most of the time.

I also remember being dropped off with my grandparents for most of a day around Christmas and my birthday.

I've always worked in centers and I haven't even been in child care for that many years, but I know I didn't used to always still have the majority of my class during the last 30 minutes of the day. I looked at my attendance sheets earlier today and most of my kids are dropped off between 6:30 and 7:15 AM but don't leave until 5:30-6:00 PM. That's a long time for those kids.

[nannyde]

I started in 93 and ran until April of 2014

21 years and it changed quite a bit in that time. But... this happens in every business.

I think the biggest change has been the behavior of the parents. It became increasingly difficult to find well behaved parents.

The education thing didn't really affect me. I offered babysitting and didn't promote an early childhood education but rather CARE. When I reopen I will stick with CARE.

I've never been interested in early childhood education. I think there are so many other things that are so much more important like healthy chemical free home made food, exercise, discipline, a good long deep sleep mid day, PRECICE careful supervision with immediate correction for safety and behavior, an adult who digs your kid and would give their life for them at any time for any reason, self entertainment, and a killer toy collection that doesn't include a single toy that DOES something.

To me, that's what nets great kids.

We need to start asking Kindy teachers what they see with the incoming generation. What makes their classrooms work? What makes them love the kids and their jobs. They are the greatest resource for telling us what works best once the kid goes to school and they are never asked.

Do you want a kid who knows colors, numbers, shapes, or can read... or do you want a kid who respects you, who is well rested, who knows how to function without sucking the life out of you each second?

Do you want a scholar or do you want a sweetie who is kind to the others, who knows when to come forward and when to take a seat and let the others shine?

Do you want a kid who has to have something to make or a kid who can make something of nothing?

What works? We want to know....

I operated from 1988 to 1998. I had a one page contract the parents signed. Re-opened in 2013 in a different town but close by. A very rural area.

I was regulated the entire time, was on the food program, had added on a large two room addition for my program.

I offered daily preschool activities and centers but was still mainly play based.very little with abc's and numbers and more about songs, stories, puppetry, creative art, etc. I LOVED going to ECE conferences and trainings.

Parents paid after their child had missed five days. Not one parent ever complained about that.

I never had to term a family.

I was open from 5:30am to 5:30 pm!! Ahhhh.... But it didn't bother me a bit. The children who came that early ( a bother and sister) went right back to sleep.

For about a year I had two sisters who came in the evening. Mom was a waitress afternoon/evening (part time). And for about a year I had two children come on Sat. Morning! But it never bothered me.

I never once had a licensor visit except for the initial visit in ten years!!!

I never had a family not pay me at the end of the week. Never had any issues with any parent. I became very close friends with some.

I only had two children in all those who were a behavior problem!

I did not get paid if I was closed. I rarely closed and never took a vacation. I did have someone come twice a week for a few hours so I could get out of the house.

I was part of a head start family child care pilot program for two of the years.

I was registered for six under school age ( my own kids didn't count from kindergarten on ) and five school age. Most years I was full. Only one year I wasn't.

[Josiegirl]

Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff

Right?! For how "connected" we are, we are so disconnected as a family or community unit

This brings to mind dramatic play the older kids directed this summer. They made the whole playroom into a restaurant, with some really awesome details. I was admiring their creativity. Then I saw they had drawn pictures and taped them to this board, set it beside the table. Yep, they even created their own TV, complete with pictures of Sponge Bob. We had a nice discussion as to why anyone would pay money to go enjoy a nice dinner at a restaurant, to be with family, only to watch tv.

I've seen tons of change within the family unit, and child care in my 33 yrs. Parents were more responsible for their own children back then(as has been discussed), kids weren't dropped off here, there and everywhere. Parents didn't try and sneak sick kids into dc. It's been transitioning more and more into a mememe society. Kids come first, to me. I try not to take time off when I'm sick unless it's unavoidable. But when my own kids were sick, you can bet it was a whole lot easier to call out. I know parents have to juggle a lot, so did I; my job was just a little different as to what needed to be juggled.

Kids are only little for so long, IMO families should do what's best for raising their children, AT LEAST until they're in school. I have dcks who are virtually screaming to their parents for attention. They want special time with them, they want to feel loved, needed, secure, special in their family. That is really hard to achieve when dcps are soooo involved with work, on and off the clock. So what I see with the dcks is demanding time for attention, struggling to be heard and noticed, and we all know what that can do for behavior issues.

BC, I'm curious what you meant when you said both parents didn't HAVE to work back in the 80's 90's?
You might have already discussed it, I didn't read everything.

Within dc, I find the support system to be much better than it ever was but their expectations are getting beyond ridiculous. I did much more with the kids before the rules demanded all the paperwork that they do. And of course the liability goes without saying; not just due to injuries(which have to be documented up the yingyang)but if a child goes home saying a bad word, or with a cold or a new habit, it all gets questioned. Parents back then just knew yep, this happens. Parents now need to know all the details and who to blame; maybe from guilt? IDK

[Josiegirl]

Good points Nannyde. I once had 2 dcgs, dds of a midwife and an English teacher. I remember the teacher dad telling me 'anyone can learn anything from a book. But give me kids who are taught respect, manners, appreciation and kindness any day'

It has become a game of keeping up with the Joneses, as far as STUFF families have as well as if your kid can read and any other thing a parent sees another child do. Kids will learn to read, etc., what we need to focus on is helping teach what's expected of them in society. Simple manners and respect go a lot further than whether or not Johnnie is reading at 4.