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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Help With Cleanup Problem
TheGoodLife 08:30 AM 05-30-2013
So I have a 23 month old here. The last 2 weeks she has started to throw a tantrum at clean-up time- she starts to cry before the words even come out of my mouth. (She cries a lot otherwise, too- refuses to ever talk to me, even her brother cant get her to tell him what she needs/wants, ect.) Any suggestions to help? She is old enough to clean up, did in the few weeks past, and I have a feeling its a power struggle for her now. I usually just have the LOs sit down during clean-up time if they won't clean, but it's not helping make improvements with her.
Cradle2crayons 08:35 AM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by Mama2Bella:
So I have a 23 month old here. The last 2 weeks she has started to throw a tantrum at clean-up time- she starts to cry before the words even come out of my mouth. (She cries a lot otherwise, too- refuses to ever talk to me, even her brother cant get her to tell him what she needs/wants, ect.) Any suggestions to help? She is old enough to clean up, did in the few weeks past, and I have a feeling its a power struggle for her now. I usually just have the LOs sit down during clean-up time if they won't clean, but it's not helping make improvements with her.
At my house, no clean up means no play with toys. If the child is old enough and capable, which you said is true, then if they don't clean up, they don't get to play with any other toys until the others are cleaned up.So I have a 23 month old here. The last 2 weeks she has started to throw a tantrum at clean-up time- she starts to cry before the words even come out of my mouth. (She cries a lot otherwise, too- refuses to ever talk to me, even her brother cant get her to tell him what she needs/wants, ect.) Any suggestions to help? She is old enough to clean up, did in the few weeks past, and I have a feeling its a power struggle for her now. I usually just have the LOs sit down during clean-up time if they won't clean, but it's not helping make improvements with her.
TheGoodLife 08:44 AM 05-30-2013
That's what I do now, but it's an everyday thing- I'm trying to find ways to encourage her cleaning again. It's not fair that for 2 weeks her brother and my DDs are cleaning up her messes every time. We do the clean-up song and sometimes do races to see who can clean the most/fastest/ect. But nothing has worked so far.
preschoolteacher 08:45 AM 05-30-2013
It could be a problem she's having with transitioning between activities. If you use a visual timer, like a sand timer (you know, with grains of sand and you flip it over), then she has a warning that it's almost clean-up time and can actually "see" time passing. Or maybe you play a song and when the song is over, it's clean-up time.
Or since she gets upset before you even say clean up, maybe you can start signaling clean-up time by playing music. You could let her be the one to press the play button... at least that will start getting her more involved.
I think it helps to have your play area really, really orderly. As in, each toy has a space and every child knows exactly where that space is. Labeling shelves with photos of toys helps. Taking away some of the toys and cutting down on clutter helps.
You could take all of the children with you and go into each area of the room: "Now we all are going to clean up the dolls, now we all are cleaning up the crayons" regardless of if they played there or not.
Other ideas to try: "Can you hop that toy to the toy box? Can you walk backwards? How big are your muscles--who is strong enough to lift these blocks? How many toys can you fit in this basket?"
Or since she gets upset before you even say clean up, maybe you can start signaling clean-up time by playing music. You could let her be the one to press the play button... at least that will start getting her more involved.
I think it helps to have your play area really, really orderly. As in, each toy has a space and every child knows exactly where that space is. Labeling shelves with photos of toys helps. Taking away some of the toys and cutting down on clutter helps.
You could take all of the children with you and go into each area of the room: "Now we all are going to clean up the dolls, now we all are cleaning up the crayons" regardless of if they played there or not.
Other ideas to try: "Can you hop that toy to the toy box? Can you walk backwards? How big are your muscles--who is strong enough to lift these blocks? How many toys can you fit in this basket?"
TheGoodLife 08:48 AM 05-30-2013
I also tried giving her small, specific jobs- yesterday it was a puzzle she had played with earlier. Only 2 pieces out. Bawled!
ABCDaycareMN 08:49 AM 05-30-2013
Have you tried to take her hand and help her pick up a toy ad help her put it away? It's slow but have her start with 3 things while the others pick up the rest. Maybe it's too big of a mess for her. Or incorporate additional clean ups. I don't like messes so we clean up 4 times during free play to keep tem mess down.
TheGoodLife 08:50 AM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
It could be a problem she's having with transitioning between activities. If you use a visual timer, like a sand timer (you know, with grains of sand and you flip it over), then she has a warning that it's almost clean-up time and can actually "see" time passing. Or maybe you play a song and when the song is over, it's clean-up time.
Or since she gets upset before you even say clean up, maybe you can start signaling clean-up time by playing music. You could let her be the one to press the play button... at least that will start getting her more involved.
I think it helps to have your play area really, really orderly. As in, each toy has a space and every child knows exactly where that space is. Labeling shelves with photos of toys helps. Taking away some of the toys and cutting down on clutter helps.
You could take all of the children with you and go into each area of the room: "Now we all are going to clean up the dolls, now we all are cleaning up the crayons" regardless of if they played there or not.
Other ideas to try: "Can you hop that toy to the toy box? Can you walk backwards? How big are your muscles--who is strong enough to lift these blocks? How many toys can you fit in this basket?"
I'll have to try the visual cue. Although with this one, I really think its because she wants a power play, and I refuse to get into that with an almost 2 year old!It could be a problem she's having with transitioning between activities. If you use a visual timer, like a sand timer (you know, with grains of sand and you flip it over), then she has a warning that it's almost clean-up time and can actually "see" time passing. Or maybe you play a song and when the song is over, it's clean-up time.
Or since she gets upset before you even say clean up, maybe you can start signaling clean-up time by playing music. You could let her be the one to press the play button... at least that will start getting her more involved.
I think it helps to have your play area really, really orderly. As in, each toy has a space and every child knows exactly where that space is. Labeling shelves with photos of toys helps. Taking away some of the toys and cutting down on clutter helps.
You could take all of the children with you and go into each area of the room: "Now we all are going to clean up the dolls, now we all are cleaning up the crayons" regardless of if they played there or not.
Other ideas to try: "Can you hop that toy to the toy box? Can you walk backwards? How big are your muscles--who is strong enough to lift these blocks? How many toys can you fit in this basket?"
preschoolteacher 08:50 AM 05-30-2013
This reminded me also of a preschool teacher I knew who did something really cute in her class during clean-up time. The kids were really into Disney Princesses (lots of girls in this room!), and so she read them the story about Cinderella but focused A LOT on how Cinderella's animal friends helped her clean up.
Then, the next day during clean-up time she put on a crown and an apron-thing that looked like a dress, and she made a big show of how she was Cinderella and she was looking for her animal friends to help her clean up.
Each time a kid helped her, she would give them a little pair of animal ears (bunny) or an animal mask (I think there was a skunk one?), and the kids only got to wear these once they started helping.
It became this big fantastic game, and the kids had a really fun time. They played it for a week or two, and then the interest in it kind of faded, but everyone was used to helping clean up after. She said that she would occasionally say: "Let's play Cinderella and the animals clean up," and that would get them back into cleaning even without the props later on...
Then, the next day during clean-up time she put on a crown and an apron-thing that looked like a dress, and she made a big show of how she was Cinderella and she was looking for her animal friends to help her clean up.
Each time a kid helped her, she would give them a little pair of animal ears (bunny) or an animal mask (I think there was a skunk one?), and the kids only got to wear these once they started helping.
It became this big fantastic game, and the kids had a really fun time. They played it for a week or two, and then the interest in it kind of faded, but everyone was used to helping clean up after. She said that she would occasionally say: "Let's play Cinderella and the animals clean up," and that would get them back into cleaning even without the props later on...
daycarediva 11:09 AM 05-30-2013
We sing a clean up song. I rarely have issues with this, most of my kids are sticklers for rules and we only clean up at intervals where the next activity is something they like (clean up before going outside, clean up before arts and crafts, sensory play, music)
I would ignore the behavior completely, leave a few toys out or what she was assigned, and then tell her "you can do ______ as soon as you clean up nicely." ignore ignore ignore....and then praise for the cleaning up. She can't move on to the next activity until her things are cleaned back up. I would also do fun things, and set her up to want to get it done.
You could also try stickers on a sheet for each kid, and for every other positive behavior you see/want to encourage. My kiddos love that stuff. I printed & photocopied a ton of sheets where the kids write their names and it says "Look at the nice things I have done, I got a sticker for each one!"
I would ignore the behavior completely, leave a few toys out or what she was assigned, and then tell her "you can do ______ as soon as you clean up nicely." ignore ignore ignore....and then praise for the cleaning up. She can't move on to the next activity until her things are cleaned back up. I would also do fun things, and set her up to want to get it done.
You could also try stickers on a sheet for each kid, and for every other positive behavior you see/want to encourage. My kiddos love that stuff. I printed & photocopied a ton of sheets where the kids write their names and it says "Look at the nice things I have done, I got a sticker for each one!"
Willow 11:27 AM 05-30-2013
I agree with daycarediva. At that age I completely ignore it and will purposefully move onto something awesome to inspire compliance. They can sit with their mess and scream the rest of the day for all I care, but we're going in the other room to make playdoh, do parachutte or paint on the windows (I save the really good stuff just for lesson teachings like that).
If they dawdle until the last minute we will be done and they will miss out.
Really cuts down on the power struggles and gives the well behaved's something to take their mind off the drama.
For way too many kids now days the parents have them believing the world should and does revolve completely around them. Surprise! Not everyone is going to drop everything to cater to your fit! Go right ahead and see how well that works for ya here!
If they dawdle until the last minute we will be done and they will miss out.
Really cuts down on the power struggles and gives the well behaved's something to take their mind off the drama.
For way too many kids now days the parents have them believing the world should and does revolve completely around them. Surprise! Not everyone is going to drop everything to cater to your fit! Go right ahead and see how well that works for ya here!
Blackcat31 11:30 AM 05-30-2013
When I say it is time to clean up, I watch to make sure everyone participates.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
TheGoodLife 12:34 PM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
When I say it is time to clean up, I watch to make sure everyone participates.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
Yep, that's what I have Ben doWhen I say it is time to clean up, I watch to make sure everyone participates.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
TheGoodLife 12:40 PM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
When I say it is time to clean up, I watch to make sure everyone participates.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
Yep, that's what I have been doing, but she just sits there crying on and off, and then it's time for lunch. Today we painted and she LOVES that, but nothing. I get the feeling she is very spoiled at home but it's just annoying to me. Guess Ill just have to ignore it for a few more weeks until they're gone (temporary family until sometime in June). She refuses to talk to me AT ALL- wont ask for anything, just sits and states me down. She's never been in DC, so I guess it's a rude awakening- I only coddle for so long...When I say it is time to clean up, I watch to make sure everyone participates.
If I had one who didn't want to clean up, I would stop the other kids with a few toys left out and invite them all to come do the next activity (without the non-cleaner) and make sure I make a HUGE deal out of how much fun we are having and that as soon as Janie cleans up, she can come join us too.
If she refuses then she gets to do nothing else until she complies.
HER choice.
I give no extra rewards, no extra attention and no fanfare for anyone NOT following the rules.
I will NOT engage in a power struggle with a young child. She can clean up when she is ready but she gets to do nothing else (other than eat and nap) until she decides to clean up.
How long this takes is up to her.
Blackcat31 12:56 PM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by Mama2Bella:
Yep, that's what I have been doing, but she just sits there crying on and off, and then it's time for lunch. Today we painted and she LOVES that, but nothing. I get the feeling she is very spoiled at home but it's just annoying to me. Guess Ill just have to ignore it for a few more weeks until they're gone (temporary family until sometime in June). She refuses to talk to me AT ALL- wont ask for anything, just sits and states me down. She's never been in DC, so I guess it's a rude awakening- I only coddle for so long...
It will probably take her a bit longer to "get it" because she is spoiled at home but she will get it eventually. Yep, that's what I have been doing, but she just sits there crying on and off, and then it's time for lunch. Today we painted and she LOVES that, but nothing. I get the feeling she is very spoiled at home but it's just annoying to me. Guess Ill just have to ignore it for a few more weeks until they're gone (temporary family until sometime in June). She refuses to talk to me AT ALL- wont ask for anything, just sits and states me down. She's never been in DC, so I guess it's a rude awakening- I only coddle for so long...
Right now the silent treatment and the screaming are the only methods she knows work. Atleast at home. You will just have to hold out longer than her so that she knows those tactics don't work at your house. She'll come around.
I have a 3 yr old DCG that gives me the silent treatment too. Of course, she finds out really fast that she gets NOTHING until she uses her words.
Her mom will sit and play 20 questions. I won't/don't so I just enjoy the silence.
WImom 01:12 PM 05-30-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
At my house, no clean up means no play with toys. If the child is old enough and capable, which you said is true, then if they don't clean up, they don't get to play with any other toys until the others are cleaned up.
Same rule at my house. I will also leave a small pile for them and they can't join us until it's picked up. I also have a CD of three clean up songs (Bear in the big blue house, laurie berkner, and one other). I have a clean up bell ringer each day that rings a bell and then the music starts. They try and get the room clean before the three songs are over. At my house, no clean up means no play with toys. If the child is old enough and capable, which you said is true, then if they don't clean up, they don't get to play with any other toys until the others are cleaned up.
Luckily I've had great cleaners these past few years.