I just don't get how an adult can't get a 2 year old to do something. She wouldn't put her clothes on (gets dropped in pajamas), he wouldn't wear a jacket and it's freezing out. All I could get her to eat was a donut. Oh my gosh! Next time a parent tells me that I'm going to say "I'm sorry he didn't want his diaper changed so I just left it." Not really but it's frustrating how parents get lazy about making their kids do what they are told and yet I'm then expected to do it...and amazingly I can.

Anyone else have success helping parents with this? Regardless of rules...bring in clothes..don't bring treats or juice not fair to other kids I will feed them, don't bring toys from home (parent says he wouldn't let me take it from him)...many parents seem to have a hard time telling their kid no. :/

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It seems like so many parents thing the rules don't apply to them. Makes me nuts. Like my DCM of the 13 month old that started Monday. I can't get her to sleep so I sleep with her in the recliner. What do you mean you can't get her to sleep? It's a natural function.

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It was either Blackcat or daycare that said something that stuck with me to reply with:

"Why do you need their permission?"

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"All he would eat was a donut"...respond with: "WHY was a donut a choice? Who's running the show?".

"She wouldn't put her clothes on (gets dropped in pajamas)"....Then put them on for her.

he wouldn't wear a jacket and it's freezing out....fine with me if he wants to get cold, but he's better show up with his jacket in hand because at my house he WILL wear a jacket.

"I'm sorry he didn't want his diaper changed so I just left it." BRILLIANT!

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I'll have to remember that one.

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The phrase that gets me every time? "He wouldn't let me."

"He wouldn't let me comb his hair."
"She wouldn't let me put her shoes on."

I'm telling you all, I didn't have to "let" my mom do anything as a kid. If she said it was happening, it was happening! I did the same with my kids.

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....And then these littles turn into big SA kids who can't/won't tie their own shoes, hang up their stuff or clean up their own messes because the parents do it for them. "Oh honey, let me _____ for you." <- Makes me gag.

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NEVER would have told my mom no. I wouldn't have been able to sit lol. She didn't abuse me, but I for sure knew who was boss.

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I make it a habit to get DCK to do whatever they "wouldn't let me do" in front of the parent and then walk away like its no big deal. It gets them everything. It's really effective when done in front of other parents.

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love this!!

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Last week we took a field trip to the park, parents picked up there.
One parent couldn't "get" her 3 yr old child to get in the car. He kept running away and laughing. I usually don't get involved with the kids after I give them to DCPs. But, this was ridiculous. I called his name and said "One". He stopped, looked at me, then looked and mom, started to move again. I said "Two" and he stopped and went to mom.

Next day, mom came to me and asked for advice on how to parent.

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I refuse to listen to "He/She wouldn't let me....." statements.

I immediately tell the parent that is no excuse as YOU are the parent and the one in charge.

I will NOT accept a child into care that has not been changed from their night time diaper nor will I accept a child into care that is not prepared for the day (no jacket etc).

Toys from home? I keep them. Seriously I do. I will NOT return them either. Parents know AND agree to this upon enrollment. If they test me, they will find out pretty quickly that I do not make promises I cannot keep.

I refuse to parent a parent so if a parent cannot control their child or get them to do something required for care, then they will not receive services from me.

If they want to allow their child to run the show outside of my time, that's on them.

I have a VERY clear and defined line between what things are MY responsibility and what things are a parental responsibility and rarely if ever do those things become blurred.

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You really are my hero. I want to be as good as you someday.

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Me too!!

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"I can't get my kid to..." It's the biggest excuse of all, for not wanting to put in the time necessary to set and enforce limits and give the child some structure!

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It translates into "I am lazy" or "I do not want to make them cry"

Either version is unacceptable.

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Yeah when I see it, as with the current daycare mom it is "I can't take the screaming". My thought always is "yeah so you teach her/him that by screaming they get their way, way to stop the screaming!"

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I don't know which is worse, the laziness, or the ignorance some parents display! Many seem to think that they can recover the lost time later, few years down the line when the kid is older .

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Toys from home? I keep them. Seriously I do. I will NOT return them either. Parents know AND agree to this upon enrollment. If they test me, they will find out pretty quickly that I do not make promises I cannot keep.

OMG i LOVE this!!! I will take things from the kids in front of the parents if i have to but i should just keep it F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!

I really cant stand when parents use this line, and no it dosnt matter what age they are, one dcm says this to me about my own ds all the time, Guess what i dont care how old he is, shes not going to like it very much when her dd is the one getting hit by him?? Ppl are so dence and ignorant it makes me throw up a little

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I have a parent struggling with this. Goes back and forth and has a school age kiddo that has some behavior problems. Parent swears that ilthey don't let the kids get away with stuff at home. I am seeing a lot of entitlement in the younger child and it irritates me. Child wants childcare to be like home and I wont allow it. I just don't agree with that style of free reign it is too dangerous especially in childcare. Child's parents let them get and eat however much whenever they want. Kids getting diarrhea and parent is like whatever they just ate toonmuch oil. I am just more upset because kids don't run things. I know if I brought stuff up to this parent she would just take her kid out of daycare slowly like wean her out. If I brought up the lack of parenting specifically behavior related to the degree I want to it might jet be the end. She refuses to try with the youngest and is trying to work on oldest.. Thank goodness for that dad of there's he is the backbone. I do love the child but I don't know what planet mom is on.

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I have often told my parents the rules are 1) To keep kids safe and 2) To prepare them for school (I also do preschool). I've found that many kids adjust...are well behaved and know boundaries at my house and then go back to out of control when parents come. Same deal if there is split custody...often the Monday of dad's turn kid comes back a hot mess and screaming...hitting...jumping on the couch...etc. It doesn't take long for them to remember..."Oh ya this is the house with consequences if I don't obey"

I still have parents whose whole parenting philosophy is she "won't let me" do....such and such. I say "why are you allowing it? Train her to do as she's told the first time (I don't do counting)" but the parents still fall back to same old patterns no matter what they realize after our talk. As frustrating as this is I've resigned myself to allow it as long as the kid is in line at my house. It still grates on me...like nails on a chalkboard but...part of the job. In my experience so many parents are lazy...just do what's necessary to shut the kid up...I need to work so there ya go. Just be good here kid and all will go fabulously!

Then I can come here and vent! I had completely forgotten this place as my hubby has school after work and hogs the computer! LOL!

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