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MamaK 11:57 AM 10-22-2010
Hello All,

I'm new to the site, found it by accident today. I'm all for support systems, having not grown up with much of one, so it helps to talk to people who are doing the same things that I am doing in various areas of my life, to see what the experience is like for them, and to both get and give advice, if advice is asked of me.

I'm 29, SAHM. I have a 22-month-old hellion who can get into anything, climb out of anything, undo anything. It's a challenge keeping this house baby-proof, but I'm game.

I currently care for a 1-year-old girl, and it does have its challenges. The first couple of weeks were fine, my son and little lady got along amazingly well. As of late we're dealing with a serious diaper rash (I thought the girl was going to have scars) because the diaper is too small, and the mother will not up the size. Her pediatrician told her that her daughter was going to grow up to be fat, so I think mom has developed a complex. It's good in a way that little lady eats very healthily, but most babies are chunky until they start walking. Little lady's diaper has no breathing room at all, so she stays miserable if I put her in the diapers that mom provides. When I first saw the rash, I was appalled. Desitin and powder were not working, and I'd never heard of putting neosporin on a diaper rash. I suggested a larger size and A&D ointment, mom wasn't going for that. Well that's what she has when she's here. It's not that expensive, and I hate to see her in pain.

Still...there are other issues.

My son doesn't know his own strength. When he's aggressive with her I deal with it swiftly and he's learning to be gentle. But if he so much as walks past this girl she cries for half the day. I've taken to separating them, but my son is becoming confused as to why he can no longer move around his own home. He is usually very moody at the end of the week because he's tired of her whining. Even my fiancee is thinking of giving up the one day every two weeks he has off during the week (government employee schedule, it's called RDO or regular day off) because of her.

When my son was in daycare, I trusted the advice of my caregiver. Sure it was a bit unnerving to learn of the things he would do for her that he would not do for me (unless there was a struggle). But I was happy for his development. This mom is not taking any advice. I get the impression that she's a bit unnerved by how her daughter acts when she's with me, that she will take a nap without having to be held, etc. I think that as parents (and I'm a first-time mom as well as she), we are more emotionally affected by our children, and while a daycare provider will care about the child's needs, they can detach a bit better. She has yet to see that. Also, I had agreed that if on occasion one parent was to be home I would not charge them for that day. They are trying to take advantage of that, for the past three weeks Daddy has been home one day or more.

I'm getting new offers for childcare, and I'm thinking that if I get enough I may have to terminate her. Older children can tolerate my son better, and even the younger boy that would have come here had his parents moved closer didn't react the way little lady does. I fear she's used to being held all the time at home. I cannot do that. The house requires constant upkeep in order to maintain daycare standards, and my son has needs too.

Oh well, I'm glad for the extra income for now, but I have a feeling little lady might not last the year.
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broncomom1973 12:35 PM 10-22-2010
Well good luck with your daycare. It is definitely both challenging and rewarding. I only found this site about a month ago, but I love it. I feel so much more "normal" knowing that the issues that I deal with in my daycare are common and that I am not the only person dealing with them. It is a great place to vent and to ask for advice from people who have experience in this field.

As for little girl's diaper rash, I hope someone can get through to mom. Rashes can require prescription ointments to heal and should be evaluated by a physician if it is not clearing up. Sometimes there is a need for nystatin if it is yeast or sometimes even something as potent as bactroban. Some diaper rashes can progress to staph infections if not treated correctly. Often times an ointment with 40% zinc oxide can clear up a rash pretty quickly if used consistently. At the clinic where I used to work the doctors also suggested Resinol for diaper rashes.

As for little girl's and your son not getting along, you have to do whatever you need to do to keep everyone safe and to stay sane. And, if that means getting rid of the little girl, then so be it. One thing I have learned in the short time I have been doing this is that not all children are a "fit" with eachother. Some children require more attention, more physical contact etc., and if you arent able to provide that while taking care of the other children then it's time for that child to go elsewhere. Good luck and welcome to this board.
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Live and Learn 12:54 PM 10-22-2010
Welcome MamaK!
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DCMomOf3 01:45 PM 10-22-2010
Welcome and good luck!
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MyAngels 08:43 PM 10-22-2010
Welcome MamaK!

I agree with the PP about the diaper rash - it could be a yeast infection of some type and definitely should be looked at by her pediatrician if it's not healing with OTC diaper rash ointments.

As far as your dcm not seeming to look to you for advice, it could be because you are a (at least by my standards ) young mother yourself, as well as being new to the profession. The majority of the new moms I have had do ask for, and even sometimes take , advice from me, but then again I didn't start my daycare until I had three children of my own (all grown now), and I also had a background in center care at the time. I've now been in the home daycare business for 18 years.

Good luck with your new business, it can be very rewarding. Hopefully your son and dcg can find some peace with each other!
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Michael 10:30 PM 10-22-2010
Hi MamaK, welcome to the Daycare.com Forum.
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MamaK 03:15 PM 10-23-2010
Thanks for the advice, everyone.

I think that if things have not improved by the New Year, I will recommend that the parents seek out an Au Pair. I think that they want their child to have exclusive attention in a daycare setting, and that is not always possible. You care for every child, not just one to the detriment of the others. She exhibits some behaviors that show me that yes, she is very loved (you can tell how well taken care of this child is, and that is a good thing), but she is also used to not having to walk more than a few steps before her parents pick her up. She's walking, but she wants to be held most of the day. I don't even do that with Steven my son...not that he would let me, he's too busy climbing the walls.

My old daycare provider was only a year older than me, but since I trusted her to care for my child, I also trusted her judgment. If she made an observation, I heeded it as she was the one with my child all day. Not only that, DCM in this situation checked references, and I know they are stellar, those people praise me to the high heavens every time I ask them to be a reference (one nanny reference from about 6 years ago, and one friend whose young daughters I watched late at night while she went to grad school). Outside of my professional childcare experience I have been dealing with kids since I was 9. There are approximately 8.5 years between myself and all of my siblings, and my youngest brother is 13. I can recognize when a diaper needs to be upsized and when the rash is out of control.

I personally feel that if the mother was suspicious of my knowledge, she should never have left her child with me. I know I give a good rate, but you don't leave your baby with the cheapest if you're not sure of what you're getting. And these days in this area I'm not even the cheapest anymore, my rate is about the going rate. We'll see how this pans out.

A friend of mine mentioned that the diaper issue might just be that difference in number between the size she's in and the next. But that's where mom gets off her brand-name kick and goes generic. That's been a discussion I've had with fellow moms who struggle financially, we do generic everything, because when it comes to formula, the FDA requires off brand formulas to have the same nutritional value, and the medications can only differn in taste. But if it doesn't say "Huggies" or "Similac" (um, formula recall, anyone?" they won't have anything to do with it. Don't seem to understand that generic often saves you tons and due to the fact that they have to compete with the brand names the off brand products are careful not to let things like beetle larvae get into their formulas. I just can't see myself doing brand name anything anymore, not with our financial constraints and the plethora of things available off brand. Saves so much money.

I have other inquiries at the moment, so I shall not keep Little Lady because I need the money. Hopefully she'll adjust and her parents will too. But I really think they need an au pair. Money is not an issue as Little Lady's clothes cost much more than mine. I think she'd be happier one-on-one with someone as well. But time will tell.

Thanks again for the welcome.
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MMk9987 10:01 AM 11-13-2010
Hello my I am also new here I am 23 years old currently a stay at home mom to my son who is 8 months old i am just getting started in the daycare business
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Michael 08:49 PM 11-13-2010
Hello and welcome also to MMk9987. Glad to have you here.
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DCMomOf3 11:30 AM 11-14-2010
Hello and welcome!!

Some mom's just don't take advice well, they don't want to think that they are not giving the absolute best for their child. If they get a suggestion some moms will immediately disregard it because it's THEIR baby, and no one knows that baby better than mom.

best of luck with Little Lady and her mom!
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MMk9987 06:42 AM 11-19-2010
Thanks for all the welcomes
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Tags:diaper rash, new member, yeast infection
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