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Old 01-21-2015, 01:12 PM
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melilley melilley is offline
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Default Interview Tonight

About a month or so ago, I wrote a thread about a woman who was looking for dc for her 27 month old son. I looked her up on fb and saw that she posted that she's looking for dc for her demanding son who bites and she's looking for a mature provider that can be on him at all times and that she has had her job for 14 years and plans on keeping it.

Well, embarassingly, I never contacted her back because I had a child who was like her child and vowed to never go through that again, plus I'm pregnant and don't need that kind of stress. Well she's called and called and emailed. I finally called her and she asked if she could call me the next day on her break, she never called. I found out on fb that she found someone....and was looking again. She called about 2 weeks later again, again I didn't call her back. She called several times again and Monday I called her back. We set up an interview for that night and I asked her if she had gps and she said she thinks her cell did, but it was thrown in the toilet and then proceeds to say "you know, toddlers" Well, she didn't show. She called from a different number so I didn't answer (I didn't find out it was her number until I read her old email from about a month ago) and didn't leave a message so I just figured she was cancelling, but she said she was running late. I just told her that I figured she didn't leave a message (and it was a different number) so she wasn't coming.

So, she called again today. I set up another interview for tonight. She's bringing her child, so we'll see how it goes. I wonder if he is how she explained him on fb. I hope not.
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Old 01-21-2015, 01:41 PM
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Personally, I would be wary of this woman. She says her son is demanding, but I have a feeling it's mommy who's demanding. She also doesn't seem to think your time is important. She has also been hopping daycare places.
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Old 01-21-2015, 02:12 PM
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as others have said, its all about you and the environment you provide.

I have kids who have been kicked out of other programs or parents tell me they are horrible... With me they have been great.

I would move on with it and make sure you have a two week trial so that you can get a good idea of what it will be like. Try not to let what you have already read about this child drive your emotions, thats your opinion.

However, I would be firm with your rules just as you should be with every parent and make sure that they understand how you operate your business.

best of luck to you, I have had many children who come from hardships with their behavior and do excellent in my program. But I would have never known if I didn't try.
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Old 01-21-2015, 03:11 PM
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I'm just going to put this out there--my son was a biter. It was an exhausting all day, every day job to keep him and everyone else safe. It peaked from 18 months to 2 and decreased markedly from 2.5 to 3, and has been all but nonexistent since he turned 3. I can't even tell you the last time he bit.

SO what I'm trying to say is that if this kiddo is 28 months he's probably on the way to being alllllmost done with the biting phase. I've talked to other moms in my position and they reported the same thing--decreases from 2.5 to 3 and all but vanishes after 3.

It's still up to you to figure out whether to give him a chance, and there might be something in the interview that makes it a moot point anyway.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:06 AM
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Well I had the interview. The child came in and immediately started taking cubby bins out and dumping stuff out. Mom didn't say anything. I gave mom a tour and her ds stayed in the playroom with my 2 year old ds and 12 yo dd. He seemed to do fine. I got to talking to mom and she said that he is aggressive and she's surprised he didn't come in and hit ds because that's what he usually did at dc. Then she said that he was going to a center and was kicked out for biting too many times. Then she saw my dog and said that her ds is mean to animals and he kicked her friends dog, because he is not around them and we will just have to teach him. Then she said I would basically have to "be on top of him" all the time and if I thought I could do that. I told her that honestly, it's just me here and while I do have my eye on them, it's not always possible to be right on top of them all of the time. The group I have now can play and they get along. She also said that her child has a speech delay and she is working with Early On and that's probably why he is so aggressive and bites, to communicate.

I honestly don't think I'm going to take him. I totally understand like Silver said, that many kids bite and many times it's a phase, I totally get that. I actually have a child who is now 3, but started here at 18 months. He was the same child as the one I described above. He doesn't bite or isn't really aggressive now, but when he was I honestly was stressed out to the max everyday. I constantly shadowed him and worked with him. His speech is better and he is a pretty good child now, but oh man, the journey to get to where he is now was he** for me. I really don't want to go through that again, I don't think I could, I'm not like some of you ladies, I got really stressed and embarrassingly, I actually cried all the time. . It kind of sounds terrible to say that, but that's how I feel.
Plus, I am 12 weeks pregnant and as I get bigger, I think it will be harder to work with a child who is aggressive and bites.

Now, what to say to mom if she calls back, which I am sure she is going to. I have a really hard time saying no and not feeling bad!
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:17 AM
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I would be pretty honest and say that you do not feel you can provide the child with the level of supervision that he needs right now and that with you being pregnant that you do not feel he is the right addition to your group at this time. There are some times we can work with these problems and help a child get thru them but it sounds like this is a time in your life where you just need to say no.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:22 AM
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melilley melilley is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
I would be pretty honest and say that you do not feel you can provide the child with the level of supervision that he needs right now and that with you being pregnant that you do not feel he is the right addition to your group at this time. There are some times we can work with these problems and help a child get thru them but it sounds like this is a time in your life where you just need to say no.
Thank you! Your words describe how I feel to a T and is a nice way to tell her.
Sometimes I'm great at knowing what to say, other times I need a little help...lol
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:25 AM
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I agree with crazy8 , that sounds like a nice way to tell her no.
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:26 AM
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Congratulations on the pregnancy!!! I would not consider taking him on (and DCM may really try to guilt/pressure you into it). If you are pregnant, he would make it even more streesful for you and could even cause you physical harm if he was aggressive around you. Not worth it, IMO! Luckily DCM was upfront and honest about it.
I would just send an email saying, "Thank you for coming by to interview, it was so nice to meet you and DCB. Unfortunately I am not able to offer a position at this time. Good luck in your child care search!
Sincerely,
DCP"

I don't explain anything, just keep it short and professional! Good luck finding someone to fill your spot, and I hope your pregnancy is going well- the second trimester is usually SO much easier (if you had morning sickness for the first).
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:30 AM
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melilley melilley is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoodLife View Post
Congratulations on the pregnancy!!! I would not consider taking him on (and DCM may really try to guilt/pressure you into it). If you are pregnant, he would make it even more streesful for you and could even cause you physical harm if he was aggressive around you. Not worth it, IMO! Luckily DCM was upfront and honest about it.
I would just send an email saying, "Thank you for coming by to interview, it was so nice to meet you and DCB. Unfortunately I am not able to offer a position at this time. Good luck in your child care search!
Sincerely,
DCP"

I don't explain anything, just keep it short and professional! Good luck finding someone to fill your spot, and I hope your pregnancy is going well- the second trimester is usually SO much easier (if you had morning sickness for the first).
Thank you! I haven't had any morning sickness, well I was nauseous for a few days, but that's about it. I've just been really tired and moody!

I think I will email her. Funny thing is, is one of my dcp's just opened her own in home. We have an ad out at the same time and this same woman asked her for an interview last night, but she can't do it until tonight. She said that the mom told her about her ds's speech delay, but kept mentioning it like there was something else to it, but she didn't say anything else. Hopefully she'll ask her and not me....lol
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