Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I Term Already?
mamadaycare 06:12 AM 01-05-2021
I have posted here a few times and I always get the best advice from you all! So I just started a new kid yesterday and he took a great nap which was my saving grace for the day. He is a 1 on 1 child. He was turning all my lights on and off all day even after being told not to every time. He broke a toy after being told to stop doing that with it all morning. and then he ended the day by slapping a baby across the face because he wanted to play in the kitchen center with the new child. When mom came for pick up I told her about his day and her response to him slapping another child was "oh, that doesn't surprise me." And I followed up with, "yeah, thats something we are going to have to work on." To be honest I don't even want him to come back tomorrow. I have a 1 week trial period in my contract and I want to use that, but I don't know if I am just being to critical of his first day. But man, he was EXTREMELY comfortable for his first day.
Reply
springv 06:53 AM 01-05-2021
I wouldn't necessarily term just yet.Tell the child that if he does whatever again that he will be placed into timeout and not allowed to play and if you have a behavior sheet, write a sad face on his sheet and a note explaining what happened and what was done about it. And if the child has a good day,put a happy face on his behavior shioeet
Reply
284878 07:14 AM 01-05-2021
Go with your gut. If you have a trial period and you want to end care. Then just say that x is not a good fit for your dc. Depending on your policy, have the refund ready.
Reply
Cat Herder 07:29 AM 01-05-2021
I'd term.

The kid I might be able to change with effort and time, but not his mom.

IMPE, mom's who say things like that about their own kid like the fact that their kid is "difficult" because it nets them (mom) attention (histrionic feed). The kid also feeds into it because it nets them attention from mom whether negative or positive (behavior plan rewards).

* I am also assuming the child is over 3 since they can reach light switches.
Reply
mamadaycare 07:44 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by 284878:
Go with your gut. If you have a trial period and you want to end care. Then just say that x is not a good fit for your dc. Depending on your policy, have the refund ready.
That is what I am thinking I am going to do. I have a newborn sibling starting in a few weeks and I can't have the new kid who needs 1 on 1 while trying to help a newborn. I have an AMAZING group right now and he changes the entire dynamic
Reply
mamadaycare 07:45 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by springvalley112:
I wouldn't necessarily term just yet.Tell the child that if he does whatever again that he will be placed into timeout and not allowed to play and if you have a behavior sheet, write a sad face on his sheet and a note explaining what happened and what was done about it. And if the child has a good day,put a happy face on his behavior shioeet
I considered doing something like this, but with the moms response to him being physical on the first day I am not optimistic about the future with this family
Reply
mamadaycare 07:50 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I'd term.

The kid I might be able to change with effort and time, but not his mom.

IMPE, mom's who say things like that about their own kid like the fact that their kid is "difficult" because it nets them (mom) attention (histrionic feed). The kid also feeds into it because it nets them attention from mom whether negative or positive (behavior plan rewards).

* I am also assuming the child is over 3 since they can reach light switches.
I just felt like she truly didn't care. The group I have now has never hit another child and I don't want them to learn from the new child. I also have a newborn sibling starting this month and if the new child were to hit the baby I am worried the mom would pull and I don't want to lose that family. Yes he is almost 3. It was like he was at his own house doing whatever he wanted, no matter how many times I talked to him about it. And if he is that comfortable on his first day I can't imagine what the future will be like.
Reply
Blackcat31 08:28 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
The kid I might be able to change with effort and time, but not his mom.
This is always my deciding factor.

I can fix kid issues that happen at daycare but ONLY if the parent is on the same page as I am.

If not, I won't waste anyone's time.

A physically aggressive child is not a child I am willing to continue caring for all too often and NEVER if the parent simply blows it off like its no big deal or not their problem.

I can also guarantee those types of parents are the type that flip a lid if their child is hit by someone else so..


I vote term.
Reply
Josiegirl 10:33 AM 01-05-2021
Is he not full time? It sounded like he's not there today. I think, IIWM, I'd give it until the end of this week but warn dcm when you see her what the outcome will most likely be. Deciding factors for me would be how well the parents back you up and your incoming infant.

I agree with you when you say for a new child, he seems extremely comfortable. Usually it takes awhile for them to show their true colors before they let you have it with gusto. I wouldn't want to wait around to witness his next performances.
Reply
mamadaycare 11:12 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is always my deciding factor.

I can fix kid issues that happen at daycare but ONLY if the parent is on the same page as I am.

If not, I won't waste anyone's time.

A physically aggressive child is not a child I am willing to continue caring for all too often and NEVER if the parent simply blows it off like its no big deal or not their problem.

I can also guarantee those types of parents are the type that flip a lid if their child is hit by someone else so..


I vote term.

I couldn't agree more! I have been thinking about it nonstop since last night and I think terming is the right choice in this situation.
Reply
mamadaycare 11:15 AM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Is he not full time? It sounded like he's not there today. I think, IIWM, I'd give it until the end of this week but warn dcm when you see her what the outcome will most likely be. Deciding factors for me would be how well the parents back you up and your incoming infant.

I agree with you when you say for a new child, he seems extremely comfortable. Usually it takes awhile for them to show their true colors before they let you have it with gusto. I wouldn't want to wait around to witness his next performances.
He is full time but he had an appointment today so he didn't come. Yes I was shocked with how he just made it his home. Which I am glad he was comfortable but doing whatever he wants and going where ever he wants in my house don't fly with me. He would be better with a nanny I think.
Reply
Rockgirl 11:54 AM 01-05-2021
Slapping a baby across the face would be a no-go here. I would term.
Reply
Josiegirl 12:01 PM 01-05-2021
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Slapping a baby across the face would be a no-go here. I would term.
Oh geez yeh, I forgot about that! Say buhbye....
Reply
Sunshine69 07:17 AM 01-06-2021
I agree with the term advice.

Thatís three big strikes the first day. Slapping babies, breaking toys and a parent that blows it all off. Nope, not a good fit at all.
Reply
mamadaycare 10:59 AM 01-06-2021
I decided to term last night, mom wasn't super happy as she didn't think his day warranted being terminated. But I stayed strong in my decision and I am so happy I did!

Thank you everyone for your advice! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting.
Reply
Rockgirl 12:13 PM 01-06-2021
Originally Posted by mamadaycare:
I decided to term last night, mom wasn't super happy as she didn't think his day warranted being terminated. But I stayed strong in my decision and I am so happy I did!

Thank you everyone for your advice! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting.
Whew! What a relief, huh?
Reply
mamadaycare 12:11 PM 01-08-2021
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Whew! What a relief, huh?
SUCH a relief! I was so nervous but man am I happy I decided to do it!
Reply
daycarediva 11:20 AM 01-12-2021
Good for you! Mom needs to hear NO many, many times before this child has a chance at being disciplined.

ANYONE hits our littles and they are G O N E. My bigs protect our toddlers to a fault.
Reply
Tags:aggressive behavior, drama creation, drama for momma, drama triangle, histrionic
Reply Up