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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Meltdowns at drop off, now that baby sister has started daycare
blandino 08:56 PM 04-04-2013
I have a (just turned) 2 yo DCB, who has been with us since he was 3 months old. The majority of the time, he is excited and happy to be coming in every morning. He is a total, Miss ******'s boy. He and I have a very special bond, and I adore him.

He has an 8 week old baby sister, who started daycare on Tuesday. He never had any major issues at drop offs while mom was on maternity leave. But starting this week (sister's first week of daycare), every morning he is having a meltdown of epic proportions. He screams, flails his arms and stomps - and not in a bratty kind of way - he is actually devastated. I have always been able to make a fit of his better by simply holding him, now he refuses to let me hold him. His mom and I cannot figure out why these fits would start this week. It would have made sense that they would have started when mom began staying home for maternity leave She is not making a big deal about leaving baby sister at daycare, so he isn't losing a ton of attention in the morning. DCM is good about leaving even when he throws a fit.

During these fits, I just wind up letting him work it out - since he won't allow me to hold or comfort him. I just remind him of his options (cry, or come play with his friends) and eventually he comes around. But these are not easily ignored fits, they are pretty monumental.

Is this just some adjustment to having a new sibling ? I just feel so bad for his mother having to leave him while he is so upset. I have thought about doing "bye bye outside" but DCM still needs to bring little sister in - so handing off at the door doesn't seem like it would work.

Ideas on why this is happening or what we could do to stop these meltdowns ?
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Starburst 09:56 PM 04-04-2013
Was he still going to daycare after his sister was born and acting normal? Or is this his first day back since his sister was born?

It could be that he thought that daycare was just for him (his space) and now baby sister is taking that over too. That usually doesn't happen until school.
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VTMom 05:15 AM 04-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Was he still going to daycare after his sister was born and acting normal? Or is this his first day back since his sister was born?

It could be that he thought that daycare was just for him (his space) and now baby sister is taking that over too. That usually doesn't happen until school.
This is my thought too. I'll be entering the same situation next fall with an almost 3 year old and her baby sister. I'm wondering if we'll be seeing a similar display. Maybe just some time to adjust will be all he needs?
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blandino 05:15 AM 04-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Was he still going to daycare after his sister was born and acting normal? Or is this his first day back since his sister was born?

It could be that he thought that daycare was just for him (his space) and now baby sister is taking that over too. That usually doesn't happen until school.
That's what I thought, maybe I need to only pay attention to him when he comes in - and let my assistant take the baby from
DCM ?

He attended daycare regularly throughout maternity leave, just with shorter hours - but he came most days.
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CedarCreek 05:35 AM 04-05-2013
I think letting your assistant take the baby is a good idea.
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SilverSabre25 05:41 AM 04-05-2013
I definitely think that letting assistant take the baby is a good idea, and possibly chat with dcm and make sure she's paying LOTS of attention to dcb when sister is busy with something else. He definitely sounds like a poor little bubs who is struggling to adjust to his sibling.
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daycarediva 06:12 AM 04-05-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I definitely think that letting assistant take the baby is a good idea, and possibly chat with dcm and make sure she's paying LOTS of attention to dcb when sister is busy with something else. He definitely sounds like a poor little bubs who is struggling to adjust to his sibling.
Yupper. Daycare he was still just him, special, nothing had changed due to baby sister and now his whole world has her in it. Poor little dude. I would definitely have the assitant take baby, and have her do the majority of baby care if at all possible, atleast at first.

I hope it gets better soon!
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AmyKidsCo 06:54 AM 04-05-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I definitely think that letting assistant take the baby is a good idea, and possibly chat with dcm and make sure she's paying LOTS of attention to dcb when sister is busy with something else. He definitely sounds like a poor little bubs who is struggling to adjust to his sibling.
My thoughts too. Be sure to give him lots of attention when he's not crying and less attention when he is crying, or he'll learn that crying is a good way to get attention.
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blandino 07:07 AM 04-05-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Yupper. Daycare he was still just him, special, nothing had changed due to baby sister and now his whole world has her in it. Poor little dude. I would definitely have the assitant take baby, and have her do the majority of baby care if at all possible, atleast at first.

I hope it gets better soon!
During the day, the caregiver other than myself does 95% of the infant care. The under 18/20 month olds have their own room. So it makes sense that it is only at drop-off and not during the day (when she is separated) that he is upset.
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daycarediva 07:38 AM 04-05-2013
Is it possible for the Mom to bring baby in from the car first, then do a quick hand off to assistant and then bring dcb in? Not sure how safe/easy that would be until he gets adjusted to the idea.
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