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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What You Learn About Your Daycare Families in Bad Times
tenderhearts 09:44 AM 08-18-2019
Since I had to temporarily close due to my husbands recent cancer diagnosis I have learned a lot about my families that I have in care. I have learned that some really do genuinely care about me and my family and not just someone who watches their kids. I guess I am not really surprised about the few who haven't even checked in with us at all but it still kind of makes you feel like all the stuff and caring you do for their child every single day but not one note to see how we or how he is doing, kind of makes you feel like why do you even want them back...
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Michael 10:47 AM 08-18-2019
Empathy is a sign of intelligence. At sometime is their lives they will deal with heartbreak and despair for a loved one. Hopefully it will teach them to care more for others.

Sorry for your husband’s struggle.
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e.j. 11:02 AM 08-18-2019
I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through such a difficult time. It's got to hurt when the dc families you've supported and cared about don't make an effort to reach out to you in support when you (or your spouse) are going through a health crisis. Unfortunately, dc parents will often see a situation like this from their own point of view and worry more about what they're going to do for child care than worry about how you're managing. It may also be that they care and are concerned but are afraid to intrude into your private life. It's not easy but try not to take it personally. Focus on the families who have expressed concern and feel good about the positive relationship you've developed with them. They're the ones who help to make doing this job worthwhile.
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tenderhearts 12:57 PM 08-18-2019
Thanks, I don't really take it personally and I knew the ones that haven't reached out or even reacted to my letter were already like this but over the past few days I was thinking about it and thought wow what if their child was going through something horrible or even one of them and I never reached out, what would they think of me? But oh well. I don't feel bad for closing, this has been a very difficult couple of months.
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Josiegirl 04:02 PM 08-18-2019
I'll keep sending positive thoughts your way and hope your dh recovers from all of this as quick as possible. Try to take care of yourself through everything too.
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e.j. 07:45 PM 08-18-2019
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Thanks, I don't really take it personally and I knew the ones that haven't reached out or even reacted to my letter were already like this but over the past few days I was thinking about it and thought wow what if their child was going through something horrible or even one of them and I never reached out, what would they think of me? But oh well. I don't feel bad for closing, this has been a very difficult couple of months.
I can only imagine how tough it's been. My brother is going through a health crisis, as well, and my sil is in the same spot you are. She wants to be there to care for him but is worried about finances and trying to figure out how she can do both. Serious illness is hard on the sick person but just as hard on the spouse who has to hold down the fort while trying to care for and support the sick partner. I wish for courage and strength for you and hope that your husband makes a full recovery.
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Ariana 07:49 PM 08-18-2019
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Thanks, I don't really take it personally and I knew the ones that haven't reached out or even reacted to my letter were already like this but over the past few days I was thinking about it and thought wow what if their child was going through something horrible or even one of them and I never reached out, what would they think of me? But oh well. I don't feel bad for closing, this has been a very difficult couple of months.
It is so sad the way society is going these days. You need all of the love and support you can get at this difficult time. Don’t let them and their inconsiderate ways get you down and steal your energy. It reflects on their character not yours. Kill them with kindness and keep your mind positive.

Sending lots of love
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e.j. 09:50 PM 08-18-2019
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I can only imagine how tough it's been. My brother is going through a health crisis, as well, and my sil is in the same spot you are. She wants to be there to care for him but is worried about finances and trying to figure out how she can do both. Serious illness is hard on the sick person but just as hard on the spouse who has to hold down the fort while trying to care for and support the sick partner. I wish for courage and strength for you and hope that your husband makes a full recovery.
I meant to say that she's worried about how she's going to take care of him and look for a job/work at the same time. Sorry!
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knoxmomof2 06:13 AM 08-19-2019
I'm sorry you all are going through this. Sending you both warm thoughts and hopes for a speedy recovery. My Mom had breast cancer about 7 years ago and had to have surgery as well as chemo. It's not an easy process for the patient or the spouse, I'm sure. ❤️❤️❤️

My Husband, who has worked in customer service for most of his working years once told me "the customer doesn't owe you anything but payment". It's a cold, hard fact but it's basically true. We tend to put ourselves into this job, our clients take that for granted.
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Snowmom 06:53 AM 08-19-2019
First, I hope your husband is doing ok through what I'm sure is not only a stressful time, but a life changing one. I hope you both come out of this healthy and strong.

Daycare is a unique business. Our job is to shape little minds and teach them kindness and empathy. So, yes, it is hard when we don't receive it in return.
Ultimately though, it is a job. We take what we can from the experience and grow from it (although sometimes a little rougher). We'll never be able to find the perfect families, but we will be blessed with a few good ones along the way.
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tenderhearts 08:32 PM 08-20-2019
Thank you everyone. My husband starts chemo next week so we will see how these go. It is so tough to be in this situation. I can't even tell you how much I miss some of my kiddos. One parent sent me a photo that she took at her son's birthday party last weekend, most of my daycare kids went and I was suppose to until this happened, anyways the picture just melts my heart to see them all together. She said they all were talking about me and how they missed me, made me cry.
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Josiegirl 03:34 AM 08-21-2019
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Thank you everyone. My husband starts chemo next week so we will see how these go. It is so tough to be in this situation. I can't even tell you how much I miss some of my kiddos. One parent sent me a photo that she took at her son's birthday party last weekend, most of my daycare kids went and I was suppose to until this happened, anyways the picture just melts my heart to see them all together. She said they all were talking about me and how they missed me, made me cry.
And THOSE are the dcfs we all feel like giving a little more for.
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Tags:husband - sickness, parents - no empathy
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