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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WWYD? (it's Long, Sorry)
dcm 07:23 PM 05-02-2014
I'm so discouraged, I have no idea why we started this idea in the first place. We've had so many problems from the beginning w/ kids & parents.

So...DCG is 16 months. She been with us for a month. Seemingly great parents, perfect child, we absolutely had no problems with her and/or her parents...until today! She came at 7:00am. (She eats breakfast, lunch, & 2 snacks at our home each day). After morning snack, we laid her down to change her diaper and she had two pink circles about the size of a dime on her forehead appear out of nowhere (she definitely didn't have them before this time because I did her hair in the morning, and would have seen something on her forehead). One circle above the other. They were perfectly round. We didn't think much of it, we thought maybe it was just an imprint from a toy she laid her head on in the playroom. So we changed her diaper and placed her back in the playroom. At lunch time, the circles were still there and more pronounced. Looked on the internet for ideas and lo and behold, looked exactly like ringworm.

So we called DCD, who said he would be right there. On the phone, we told him that we would need a doctor's note, before she could return on Monday, he said he completely understood. We started notifying other parents, of a possible infection and told them that DCD said he was going to the doctor's and we would let them all know when we had an official diagnosis.

So he pissed me off two ways when he arrived to pick up DCG. On his way to us, he went home to go and change first. Personally I don't get this, your taking your time to get here, and your letting your daughter infect our home by the second. Thanks a lot DCD!! Ok so this I can get over...

The second thing was he rushed in seemingly worried, my husband pulled up DCGs hair so he could get a could look, and right away his expression changed from "I am worried" to "You called me for this?!". He said "oh, she had something like that on her arm a few days ago, I put some cream on it, and it went away" $%@*!^!*! EXCUSE ME???

Let me explain....these are the parents that send their daughter's food, because they have her on a strict calorie diet. She missed her goal weight by 2lbs. last month (she didn't gain enough), so they wanted to start supplying her own food. These are the parents, that specifically want her milk measured out and to make sure she receives nothing more and nothing less than that amount of milk. These are the parents that make sure their daughter has two poops a day at the day home and if she doesn't, they start to worry. These people micromanage their daughter's every move, but something that could affect my home and my family and my children and my pregnancy, is not a big deal?!!!!

We give our parents daily communication books. One day, I forgot to write in DCGs book. The Parents picked up, and I remembered the journal was still in our drawer, about an hour after they left, after we closed for the day. Out of the goodness of my heart, I sent Mom an email to detail DCGs day, and I apologized for forgetting the book. (I also mentioned that DCG was grumpy that day and didn't nap as much). Well I get a reply a few hours later, not to say thank you for the update...NOOOOO...I get bitched at because DCG was in a bad mood at home and "it would have been nice to know at pick-up", so they could have put her in bed earlier. I sent the email, long before DCG goes to bed, it's not my fault that DCM didn't check her email until after. "Next time we would appreciate constant communication" is what DCM wrote....

So the reason I told you the above story is because we asked DCD to call us as soon as he got back from the doctor. Well we tried calling four hours after he picked DCG up, and there was no answer. It's now been seven hours since he picked DCG up and he hasn't called. So they expect us to ALWAYS communicate with them, but when we ask them for the courtesy in return, NO??!!!!! Also, we look like dumb dumbs to our other parents, because we told them we would call them as soon as it was confirmed or not, and we can't call them!

So WWYD?

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far
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cheerfuldom 07:51 PM 05-02-2014
I NEVER would have alerted other parents till you had official news. I also wouldnt worry at all about communicating with the daycare parents. I would do one reminder text or email letting them know that you require a doctors note before returning to care. You already told Dad in person so the reminder is a courtesy. I would not accept them back into care without one. The rest of it, I would continue accommodating as I could and not worry at all about the attitude and demands from the parents. If you forget a journal entry, just say that " I apologize I didn't get that entry to you. I do my best with the entries but these things do occasionally happen" and then just leave it at that. If they provide and measure out food and stress over every detail, again, I would just offer food and thats that....let the parents do their thing. I would imagine that you are a very involved providers.....perhaps a little too involved. I would keep the details at a minimum because as you have found out, any feedback that the parents deem negative, they are going to blame on you. If nap was a little shorter and baby was a tad crankier, I wouldnt even mention it. I would only mention more significant things such as illness, a huge change in mood (like crying ALL day if she never does that) or any accidents.
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TwinKristi 09:23 PM 05-02-2014
I have to agree with the above post. I think you jumped the gun by telling the other parents. Ringworm is spread by direct skin to skin contact. Did her forehead have skin to skin contact with other kids? And this is why we're supposed to have linens for specific children and not touching the other kids stuff. If that didn't happen then it was a very slim change it was being spread elsewhere. And without a confirmed case what is there to report? I would wait for a specific diagnosis before telling people. And the fact that they just never responded to your calls is beyond rude. I had a parent leave last year after (I suspect) I sent them to the dr for a sore on the DCBs mouth. It looked like red with white and in the corner of his mouth. It ended up being a healing cut from eating a GoGurt tube. Shortly after they decided to switch him to his sister preschool. In the 14 mos he was here she never kept him home voluntarily. I sent him home upwards of 10 times for being sick or to have him checked out and he was ALWAYS sick! Now this one time he didn't have something to exclude for and gets a note that he's ok (and didn't bring him back that day either...) she terms. This family may do the same. It seems as though they're very passive-aggressive with you and that's really not cool.
Are these spots hard to fill in your area? That's considered an infant in my state so they're much easier to fill. If they leave so be it, probably in your best interest anyway from the way they sound. If they don't I would term them. That's not ok to leave you hanging all weekend. How long does it take to shoot you a quick text or email? They're purposely not telling you what it is and letting you squirm. I wouldn't let them back without a drs note.
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Play Care 06:20 AM 05-03-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I NEVER would have alerted other parents till you had official news. I also wouldnt worry at all about communicating with the daycare parents. I would do one reminder text or email letting them know that you require a doctors note before returning to care. You already told Dad in person so the reminder is a courtesy. I would not accept them back into care without one. The rest of it, I would continue accommodating as I could and not worry at all about the attitude and demands from the parents. If you forget a journal entry, just say that " I apologize I didn't get that entry to you. I do my best with the entries but these things do occasionally happen" and then just leave it at that. If they provide and measure out food and stress over every detail, again, I would just offer food and thats that....let the parents do their thing. I would imagine that you are a very involved providers.....perhaps a little too involved. I would keep the details at a minimum because as you have found out, any feedback that the parents deem negative, they are going to blame on you. If nap was a little shorter and baby was a tad crankier, I wouldnt even mention it. I would only mention more significant things such as illness, a huge change in mood (like crying ALL day if she never does that) or any accidents.

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midaycare 08:14 AM 05-03-2014
This family seems like they expect a lot. Do you have other prospects? Can you start looking for another family?
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