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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Know Who Runs The Show
My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:12 AM 06-02-2010
My new daycare boy (just turned 4 today) is doing so much better in my daycare, I had to really crack down on rules with him...this is the boy that got in his mothers driver seat while the car was running in my driveway (and the mom that didn't seem to think it was a big deal)...the boy that thought he could go out my front door and go play without me outside with him...the one that never flushed my toilet and peed all over the place...helps himself to my refridgerator...comes in and asks for breakfast when he arrives AFTER my scheduled breakfast time, the one that refused to lay down for quiet/nap time, the one that destroyed my house in less than 5 min., the one that kept taking his drinks in my living room and spilled them twice (even though I had told him over and over drinks stay in the kitchen). The list goes on...
There were a lot of issues to clean up but most of them are all worked out, YAY! But as his mom dropped him off this morning she said "he has pennies in his hand and he wouldn't let me have them". I'm thinking in my head...he wouldn't let YOU have them huh? He's 4 years old and who runs the show??? HE wouldn't let YOU have them? Yup, we know who runs the show in that house and that is why I had all those issues to deal with when he entered my daycare.
Thankfully he is adjusting, he just needed some rules in his life. Some kids you just can't train, I'm lucky in this case. I just got a chuckle when she said that he wouldn't let her have the pennies..put your foot down lady! She said he wouldn't take no for an answer last night too...I wonder why. He didn't like when I said no either but one week later he's doing great. Just thought I would share my daycare moment. :-) Have a great day everyone!
There were a lot of issues to clean up but most of them are all worked out, YAY! But as his mom dropped him off this morning she said "he has pennies in his hand and he wouldn't let me have them". I'm thinking in my head...he wouldn't let YOU have them huh? He's 4 years old and who runs the show??? HE wouldn't let YOU have them? Yup, we know who runs the show in that house and that is why I had all those issues to deal with when he entered my daycare.
Thankfully he is adjusting, he just needed some rules in his life. Some kids you just can't train, I'm lucky in this case. I just got a chuckle when she said that he wouldn't let her have the pennies..put your foot down lady! She said he wouldn't take no for an answer last night too...I wonder why. He didn't like when I said no either but one week later he's doing great. Just thought I would share my daycare moment. :-) Have a great day everyone!
tymaboy 06:49 AM 06-02-2010
What would have been funny is if you put your hand out & he gave you the pennies without a huge show in front of her.
mamajennleigh 07:00 AM 06-02-2010
I've actually had that happen! When a mom came to the door and told me dcg wouldn't "let her have" the buttons she pulled off her jacket on the way over. I put my hand out and said, "let me have them, now." She smiled, handed them to me, and her mom just stood there with her mouth hanging open. Of course, so did I.
LOL!
LOL!
grandmom 07:14 AM 06-02-2010
Children learn what they are taught. Kudos to you for teaching him respect.
My4SunshineGirlsNY 09:53 AM 06-02-2010
Originally Posted by grandmom:
Children learn what they are taught. Kudos to you for teaching him respect.
And the thing is, he's not that hard to teach..he's really a good boy and is responding to my rules and doing very well with them. But I can see he doesn't have any rules at home....only child and no routine..and the things that his mom says I can tell she doesn't put her foot down and she's his puppet on a string.Children learn what they are taught. Kudos to you for teaching him respect.
I have had a 4 year old boy that I let go a few months ago because he was just AWEFUL AWEFUL AWEFUL..didn't respond to discipline and made him more angry and agressive...was hitting kids his first day here! So I thank my blessings this boy is not like that. I have had my fair share of horrible daycare kids, I don't need any more. Puts my family for a loop and makes my life miserable.
fctjc1979 09:57 AM 06-02-2010
Originally Posted by tymaboy:
What would have been funny is if you put your hand out & he gave you the pennies without a huge show in front of her.
I was thinking the exact same thing. lolWhat would have been funny is if you put your hand out & he gave you the pennies without a huge show in front of her.
Janet 12:47 PM 06-02-2010
I have seen kids act like they have completely lost their minds when they are in the presence of their parents. These same children are awesome for me! I think it comes down to commanding respect. I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method. I simply set the boundaries and I let them know what I expect from them, and I let them know what the consequences will be if they break the rules. There's no confusion, the lines are always clear. I am consistent with them, and I think that helps. Also, I don't treat them like they are "less than" because they happen to be kids. I listen to them if they don't like my policies. It doesn't mean that I'll change my mind, but I do listen to them. I give them the ability to be angry without getting into trouble for it, which is something that I was never allowed to do as a child. My only stipulation is that when a dck is expressing their anger, they can't yell or resort to name calling or any other not nice behavior. I think that respect is a 2 way street, and I give them respect and they give it right back. I've seen parents who are so completely disrespected by their kids that I can't hold back when I see it happen in my house. I know that's a big no-no, but I have a hard time not addressing it. I guess I justify it by thinking that if it is happening in my house, then my rules still apply!
My4SunshineGirlsNY 07:13 PM 06-02-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method. I simply set the boundaries and I let them know what I expect from them, and I let them know what the consequences will be if they break the rules.
This is the EXACT method I use and it worked wonderful on this new boy....if he chose not to listen, he got a 3 min. time out (because he was 3, just turned 4 today)...no yelling involved..all explaining...when he finished his time out, I went over why he got a time out so he understood. It took a few days of this doing it over and over and over...but it worked, he is SOOOO much better now!I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method. I simply set the boundaries and I let them know what I expect from them, and I let them know what the consequences will be if they break the rules.
Crystal 07:25 PM 06-02-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I have seen kids act like they have completely lost their minds when they are in the presence of their parents. These same children are awesome for me! I think it comes down to commanding respect. I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method. I simply set the boundaries and I let them know what I expect from them, and I let them know what the consequences will be if they break the rules. There's no confusion, the lines are always clear. I am consistent with them, and I think that helps. Also, I don't treat them like they are "less than" because they happen to be kids. I listen to them if they don't like my policies. It doesn't mean that I'll change my mind, but I do listen to them. I give them the ability to be angry without getting into trouble for it, which is something that I was never allowed to do as a child. My only stipulation is that when a dck is expressing their anger, they can't yell or resort to name calling or any other not nice behavior. I think that respect is a 2 way street, and I give them respect and they give it right back. I've seen parents who are so completely disrespected by their kids that I can't hold back when I see it happen in my house. I know that's a big no-no, but I have a hard time not addressing it. I guess I justify it by thinking that if it is happening in my house, then my rules still apply!
BRAVO!!!!!!! I like your style I have seen kids act like they have completely lost their minds when they are in the presence of their parents. These same children are awesome for me! I think it comes down to commanding respect. I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method. I simply set the boundaries and I let them know what I expect from them, and I let them know what the consequences will be if they break the rules. There's no confusion, the lines are always clear. I am consistent with them, and I think that helps. Also, I don't treat them like they are "less than" because they happen to be kids. I listen to them if they don't like my policies. It doesn't mean that I'll change my mind, but I do listen to them. I give them the ability to be angry without getting into trouble for it, which is something that I was never allowed to do as a child. My only stipulation is that when a dck is expressing their anger, they can't yell or resort to name calling or any other not nice behavior. I think that respect is a 2 way street, and I give them respect and they give it right back. I've seen parents who are so completely disrespected by their kids that I can't hold back when I see it happen in my house. I know that's a big no-no, but I have a hard time not addressing it. I guess I justify it by thinking that if it is happening in my house, then my rules still apply!
grandmom 07:30 AM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I've seen parents who are so completely disrespected by their kids that I can't hold back when I see it happen in my house. I know that's a big no-no, but I have a hard time not addressing it. I guess I justify it by thinking that if it is happening in my house, then my rules still apply!
I step in with these words, which I heard the first time from my daughter's 5th grade teacher:I've seen parents who are so completely disrespected by their kids that I can't hold back when I see it happen in my house. I know that's a big no-no, but I have a hard time not addressing it. I guess I justify it by thinking that if it is happening in my house, then my rules still apply!
"*child*, you will not speak to your mother with that tone of voice at my house (in my classroom). Now, change your attitude and voice, and start over."
When the teacher said that, in front of me, I was offended at her words. Then about a nano-second later I realized just how disrespectful my daughter had been, and I had allowed it. I now share that story at the interview, and tell parents that I will step in. It only happens once or twice and the children learn quickly that I won't allow it. It also models for the parents how they can lovingly stand their ground.
MarinaVanessa 08:39 AM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I think it comes down to commanding respect. I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method.
I have always said that Respect is commanded not demanded.I think it comes down to commanding respect. I don't get their respect by yelling and screaming or using any other fear inducing method.
I'm like this too. I usually don't have a problem with kids following my rules except when they're new and need to adjust. I'm firm but fair and absolutely do not cater to whining and crying. Use your words is another big saying heard here. Recently I've added I don't speak whinese to my popular phrases list thanks to fctjc1979. Thanks a bunch!!
fctjc1979 10:34 AM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I have always said that Respect is commanded not demanded.
I'm like this too. I usually don't have a problem with kids following my rules except when they're new and need to adjust. I'm firm but fair and absolutely do not cater to whining and crying. Use your words is another big saying heard here. Recently I've added I don't speak whinese to my popular phrases list thanks to fctjc1979. Thanks a bunch!!
No problem!! I have always said that Respect is commanded not demanded.
I'm like this too. I usually don't have a problem with kids following my rules except when they're new and need to adjust. I'm firm but fair and absolutely do not cater to whining and crying. Use your words is another big saying heard here. Recently I've added I don't speak whinese to my popular phrases list thanks to fctjc1979. Thanks a bunch!!
professionalmom 12:44 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by mamajennleigh:
I've actually had that happen! When a mom came to the door and told me dcg wouldn't "let her have" the buttons she pulled off her jacket on the way over. I put my hand out and said, "let me have them, now." She smiled, handed them to me, and her mom just stood there with her mouth hanging open. Of course, so did I.
LOL!
I had this happen with a 2.5 yr old DCB. He was absolutely WILD - reason I dropped him (long story). Dad was oblivous as to how to control his son. The DCB still arrived with a pacifier IN HIS MOUTH! Dad had 5 (FIVE!!) other pacifiers in the backpack! Uh, can we say choking hazzard! Within the first week, no pacifier! I would just hold out my hand and he'd spit it out right in front og his dad - who was always shocked and amazed! But at pick-up, dad would give it to him before he even said hello. One day (during the first week) DCB wanted to take my toys home. Dad tried to "ask" him to leave the toys. DCB whinned. Dad shrugged his defeat. I picked up the pacifier that had been dropped and held onto it and said, "DCB look what I have. If you want it, you must put the toys down now" Toys fell and he came over got the pacifier and went for the door with a smile on his face. Dad said, "Wow! I have to remember that one!" I've actually had that happen! When a mom came to the door and told me dcg wouldn't "let her have" the buttons she pulled off her jacket on the way over. I put my hand out and said, "let me have them, now." She smiled, handed them to me, and her mom just stood there with her mouth hanging open. Of course, so did I.
LOL!
I wanted to say, "No you need Parenting 101!" But I just smiled.