My own kids (ages 6 & 7 1/2) dislike that I have other kids here. It's mostly one specific child because he can be an absolute terror. (I only have 2 kids from 1 family.) If I could make a little money from home other than daycare, I would do it in a heartbeat. I feel guilty that my kids are unhappy when dcks are here. Does anybody else struggle with this?

I am pregnant so I don't want to work outside our home. I quit my p/t job to take in kids at the beginning of the year. I became a SAHM once my oldest was born. I have started the process to become a registered home daycare.

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Wish I had an answer for you… when people post on my budget boards about work from home opportunities we get swamped with posts on selling stuff (scentsy, pampered chef, avon, beachbody, etc.) and posts where they claim you are not selling stuff but basically getting people to sign up under you (pyramid schemes). If you are into selling that's great but I have yet to find anything where you can make money without selling.

Sometimes I wonder if running my daycare for the last 13 years was the right thing to do for my kids. I think it beats out being out of the house 50+ hours a week at a job but sometimes I wonder if my kids are going to grow up resenting it.

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Have you thought about interviewing for another family that may jive better with your kids? I know my kids absolutely couldn't stand having one of my DCKs here. It was temporary and I reminded the kids the extra money I make helps us do fun things like Disneyland last summer or the snow trip we took last winter. Or going to dinner somewhere they like. I know without my income we wouldn't be able to do those things.
Also, remind them that because you're watching them, you're able to be home for them after school. Remind them that these 2 kids have to leave their home with their toys and go to someone else's house every day. Would they be happy going to someone else's house where they don't have their toys and mom? I think sometimes our children forget how lucky they are having us home AND making money. Kids don't understand the concept of money and survival and responsibility.
If these 2 kids (or 1 of them) is really the issue than I would consider replacing them. It doesn't have to be miserable for everyone but you also can't let your kids decide on money issues for your family. I've never been able to find a job from home making as much as I do with daycare.

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This is a tough one. I think there are pros and cons to having DCK's in your home and having your own kids go to daycare.

I think it is an individual choice and only you really know what's right for your family.

I posted a while back about how my DH felt as a child growing up while his mom ran a daycare () and many others posted having the opposite feelings () so I think it really is a situation that has no right or wrong answer....only a what's the lesser of the two evils...kwim?

If you are interested, you can read my DH's thoughts here (first post) https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41913

Maybe it will help you to start an open, honest conversation with your child and see if you can remedy the situation or atleast help them understand your choices better.

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I have always said that I am doing this job for ME/MY family and the second that it becomes an issue where WE can't stand being home, having dck's here, etc. it's time to find something else.
That said, I would evaluate what the issue is and see if that's something that can be changed or modified. For instance, my kids bedrooms and toys are always off limits - this is easy since they are not on my main level. We also have a finished basement that is not approved for DC - that's my families hang out on days I'm working. I'm fortunate that DH is a teacher and off when the kids are, so he takes them out and about on vacations and such.
If you can replace any child that doesn't mesh well with the group/your family. I did NOT give up a lucrative career to be home with my kids only to have their childhood be a terror because I insisted on keeping kids that were not a good fit.
Good Luck!!

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My kids really don't like my daycare. I know this because my older one tells me so. I know this because my younger one beats up all the other kids. My husband also doesn't like my daycare.
My youngest will go to K next year. At that point I'm either going to do only part time and only watch kids while my kids aren't home or fully close down.

My new "business" is breeding hedgehogs. I've been doing this for a while and really like it. Last week I had someone here picking up a baby hoglet. My older daughter was having a fit about something in the other room and I told her I had to go talk to the hedgehog people. Her response was "I don't like hedgehogs."
So here I am thinking that I'm making the switch from one business to another to please everyone, but the bottom line is that they are going to be jealous no matter what

I still think hedgehogs don't really compare to daycare kids. And I can see that I need to schedule my meetings while my kids are at school. That's fine.

Anyway, breeding hedgehogs isn't for everyone

Here are a couple of other ideas. These companies are legit and do pay you to work at home.

Humantic
Alpine Access
USA Contact POint
Grapevine Sales
Leapforce
Appen
Lionbridge
Butler Hill

There are others. I found them on http://www.wahm.com/forum/
Make sure you're getting your job leads from others in the forum, rather than from the ads all over the web site though.

BTW, that's all I really know. I looked into the google rating jobs a little bit but never followed through with any.

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I know how it feels though to be working the daycare but wishing i did not need to be.

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I think you situation is really similar to a lot of other providers. You have to make it work because of income. I would start interviewing for another family and find a scenario that is a better fit for your kids. In this case, you might go for a baby and toddler sibling set because then it wouldn't be older kids getting into your kids' stuff and you can train these new kids instead of trying to break bad habits of preschoolers. Anyway, I understand what you are concerned about. I have four kids of my own and it has taken a number of years to know what daycare children mesh well with my kids. right now, all my daycare kids are under 2 except for one 4 year old that gets along with my kids like a dream. I wouldn't take any older kids that my own kids don't like, it just causes too many problems.

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I didn't have the kids last Wed and Thurs and my 6-yr old said that it was so nice to not have them here. I agreed.....

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Thanks for this info. I will look into it!

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Man I hear ya!!!!! I have a 15 year old a 12 year old and a 7 year old the two big ones HATE daycare my 7 year old loves it my husband hates it too! Iam really wondering what to do to???

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What specifically do they hate about it? I ask because I find a lot of providers say their family/ husband doesn't like having the day care, but when the provider finally throws in towel and goes outside the homes to work, they find their family doesn't like that either. Are there changes/ adjustments you can make to make it better for your family?

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My ds was 5 when I started doing day care. My dd was 2. To this day, they complain about me doing day care out of our home - although they get it now.

The bottom line is, I did what I felt was best for our family. I had to work full time to help my husband support the family. Initially, I had my ds in day care and he hated every minute of it. It was the biggest reason I opened my own day care. Whenever they would complain, I would tell them we had a choice: I could get a different job and place them in someone else's day care or I could keep doing day care and they could stay at home with me. They always chose to stay home with me. (Not that they really had a choice! )

Kids want what they want when they want it. They really have no idea of what it takes to work, raise kids, support a family, pay for day care.... My kids still aren't thrilled with me doing day care but they see the pluses now that they're older. There were times when I felt guilty about causing them unhappiness but I'm convinced that no matter what I chose to do, they would have been unhappy about something. I got to spend as much time with them as I could while they were young and that counts for a lot in my mind.

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My oldest 2 were the same age as yours (op) when I quit my outside the home job and started a licensed home daycare (I also have a third child, 2 yrs old at the time). The job I had been working was terrible, made me miserable and I worked ridiculous hours. By time I quit, my middle child (the 6 yr old) was having panic attacks almost every day that I left for work. My oldest wouldn't even talk to me. I was missing out on everything with my youngest. It was killing me and making everyone around me miserable.

When I started in home daycare and staying home with my kids, their behavior and my relationship with them improved drastically. I became a better mom too in the process. However, after a while the daycare became too much for me and my family. ALL of the children in my care (and most of their parents) were very difficult. Their parents worked long hours so they were here 11-12 hrs a day. I spent all day focusing my time and energy on correcting the issues with the other kids and had almost no 1on 1 time with my own again. I became very stressed and decided it was no longer for me or my family.

I am now just a sahm and the whole family is happy. We figured out a way for it to work. I think some families can benifit tremendously from mom doing in home child care (I also grew up in one and loved it), but I personally would never go back to doing daycare now that I closed. I think that most families with mom and dad still married and at least one full time job can afford to live off of one income. We do but we have no luxuries, drive old (paid for) cars, almost no money to spend on frivolous things, we don't eat out, do free stuff for entertainment, shop second hand stores, etc

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I have seen this happen as well. A provider friend of mine has been in FCC forever and now has grand kids. Funny thing is....her grown daughter wants her to "find a job elsewhere" BUT the daughter is who needs her the most. The daughter is constantly leaving her children there even though the daughter doesn't work. Why is it the persons who NEED us the most are the ones trying to force us to find other jobs? Many FCC providers would be fired on the first day elsewhere due to the expectations/responsibilities placed on us by our families. Our families feel we do not have REAL jobs and therefore many of us get stretched to the max trying to meet demands. It was hard in the beginning for me finding a medium trying to balance but, all in all, I LOVE my FCC job and I think my family FINALLY, after 20 plus years, understands that!!!

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I grew up with my mom doing DC and it didn't bother me in the least!

I'm the youngest in my family. I have 2 older brothers who are 4 and 8 years older than me. So the DC kids were my playmates when I was really young. Once I was able to go across the street to my best friend's house, I did that a lot. My friend would also come to my house and we'd just do our own thing. If that meant homework at the table, we did. If it meant playing in the backyard, we did. If we felt like playing Barbies in my bedroom, we did. We also played board games or card games often with the DC kids. If they were too young to understand a complex game, we played Go Fish, or Trouble (loved the big plastic button you pushed and it made the dice jump!).

I would have never DREAMED of expressing to my mom that I didn't like the DC!! It was Mom's JOB, and we accepted that for what it was. The alternative was to have Mom gone during the day, and I would've HATED that!!!

My parents only had 1 car, so my mom didn't take the DC kids out very often. If she really needed to be somewhere, she'd get up early and drive my dad to work. (Those are some fun memories, because she'd have to get us kids up too and we'd ride along in our pj's. Sometimes we'd lay on the seat and sleep. No seatbelts in those days!!) When I was about age 10, she started watching the kids of some really good neighbor friends of ours, and she could borrow their extra car.

I never felt set aside for the DC kids. Never felt like my space was violated by them. Never felt jealous at all. When I got to that age where young girls LOVE babies, I wanted to be around the babies if I could. I remember holding them and feeding them bottles. My best friend and I decided once that we would have "school" for the kids. It didn't last long, but we taught the 3 and 4 yr olds to write the alphabet - or at least some of it!!

Anyway, I have nothing but fond memories of DC!! Times were sooooo much different then in terms of regulations! We couldn't let a 10-12 yr old bottle feed babies now. My mom's DC was similar to mine - unstructured, but with discipline. There was zero schedule (I'm sure lunch and nap were at consistent times), kids just played with ordinary hand-me-down toys, watched TV, played in the backyard and the front yard - and Mom was (shock) IN THE HOUSE at the time!!

I don't mean to be rude, but I think kids who resent Mom having a DC are just being selfish and entitled. Please don't take that personally - I'm merely generalizing. I think they need to see the value of it as a way to have Mom at home AND making money for the household at the same time. I think it's a lesson they can be taught. And I don't think you need to feel guilty about the fact that your kids express displeasure with your DC, which I'm sure you probably do. I know times are different, but in the 60's and 70's (I was born in 63), if you told Mom & Dad you didn't like something, you were told basically "like it or lump it"!! That was just family dynamics back then!

Just my opinion and experiences. Not meant to insult in the least!!

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Hmmm...That is a really interesting conundrum.

I get that everyone wants their kids to be happy and well-adjusted, especially in their own homes.

However, it would never have occurred to me that the kids got a vote on how the income in the family was earned. I am pretty sure if I had told my mom that I didn't like that she did X, she would have said "Great! So now you know, when you grow up you'll never do X and you can do something else instead." and that would have been the end of it.

You're probably a home care provider so that you can spend more time with your kids and be available to them in a meaningful way. I think you should trust that YOU as the mother and as a childcare expert knows what is best for them better than they do.

Not that you should brush them off completely, at least make them feel heard. But perhaps you need to explain to them (again?) that sometimes having a job is hard and you don't have to like it. We all do what we need to do as part of our family and community. Maybe make sure that they have special things and activities that are absolutely off-limits to DCK and things that are special that you say/do for them that are unique to your family and not shared with DCK. Of course, trying to replace the terror child would be on top of the priority list, just for everyone's sanity.

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Exactly. My term in my post above was "like it or lump it". LOL But yeah.... this.

(When told we weren't happy with tonight's dinner menu, Mom's quote was always, "Good. Then dinner's over.")

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not the OP, but for me its not that my kids are saying they don't like it - they really don't have any say in that matter, but I just wonder if when they are grown they will think of all the things I couldn't do with them because "I have daycare kids". Mine are getting older now and I find this is when its getting harder, it wasn't a matter of them being jealous of me being with little kids when they were little, its more about me being glued to the house when they have things to get to in late afternoon and last summer was horrible… they are at an age where they want to go do things and we can't because of the daycare. Of course it would be the same if I worked outside the home, but I honestly think I'd have MORE days off if I went out and got a regular job.

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For a lot of providers though, the decision to do child care wasn't an income based decision.
It was a decision on how they want to raise their children.
Being home with them, available to meet their needs as they grow.

Income is often placed second on that priority list. It's still needed but NOT the sole reason for being a provider.

When providers choose to provide care for those reasons, it is hard to reconcile when your own children are unhappy because of it. kwim?

I agree about not giving children input about family income but I don't agree that they shouldn't have a say in what happens in their house as far as daycare goes.

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I think "The grass is always greener" applies a little bit. If it's a matter of a child not meshing then I would find a replacement. Otherwise, yes, I miss some things during the day/late afternoon but my DH or grandparents go instead. There are things in the evenings or weekends that DH misses because of work but I get to attend. I really think it all evens out.

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Yes, the income isn't so much the issue. Dh has a good job so my money is extra. I think my plan will be to finish the process to become registered and take on more families. If this particular child is still the issue, then I will term that family. I don't want my children to continue feeling the way that they do in their own home. Eliminating this child in the near future will probably be my only option which is too bad because his older sister gets along great with my kids. I want to have a good group of kids who all get along.

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I also said
"You're probably a home care provider so that you can spend more time with your kids and be available to them in a meaningful way. I think you should trust that YOU as the mother and as a childcare expert knows what is best for them better than they do."

I 100% agree with you. It's not a solely income-driven decision. So it might be important for the OP consider why he/she decided to become a provider in the first place, and use that as a guide while making the decision to either a) close and find work out of the home b) find a solution to the problem daycare child.

I still think that the children don't necessarily get an active vote. You, as the parent, choose what is best for them. If you feel it is best to be home with them, then that needs to happen regardless of their protests. If you feel it is best that they be happy and comfortable, then maybe an outside job is the best solution.

Either way, I think that the OP found an excellent solution. I am sure that her kids will be happy that she cares so much about their happiness and not making decisions based solely on income.

ETA: I fully support terming a family that makes your child miserable if it is remotely feasible. I do not advocate making kids suffer or be miserable just to make a buck.

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I don't want to put my own kids in daycare because I have a special needs child. (My job choices will always be what is best for our situation.) However, I think I will look into the school system once our soon-to-be addition enters kindergarten.

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Of course your job choices will be what is in the best interest of your family! I hope I didn't offend you. Sometimes working outside the home IS the best choice for some families (obviously not yours!). I didn't mean for it to sound disrespectful at all. I sincerely hope it didn't come off that way.

I just meant that a different choice. For some reason I didn't remember that the debate was not in vs. out of the home, but instead DC vs. something else. I'm also pregnant and it has made me extraordinarily forgetful. Sorry!

School system is a great choice! I'm a certified Elementary teacher and I'm getting my master's in gifted so I can work part time in the school system once my looming spawn is ready.

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Our youngest has said she wishes we didn't have a daycare. When I explain to her that if this wasn't my job then she would be going to daycare while I worked, then off to school, and then home for dinner, bath and bed. There would be no fun field trips with mommy, our toy supply would be way less, and our time together would be very small. She is only 5 and remembers how it was when I was teaching. I was always working on lesson plans, Common Core and staying late at work. I think she likes having the daycare, I think sometimes she just wants it to be quite.

I understand you pain. We as mothers feel guilt and are torn about everything we do when it comes to our children. Or at least I do. I do know that this is the best decision we made. Our oldest loves having me home. Her only complaint is daycare kids get better breakfast and snacks then what she does.

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