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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Legal/Custody Issue About Pick Up
Unregistered 11:13 AM 06-03-2011
I have a girl who just started in my center and she is actually here because the mother never showed up to get her for her contracted days to have according to the custody agreement. She's been MIA all week. Well now I guess she is looking for her. I do not know her name, only the name of the father who signed her up. So IF this woman shows up at my door, I know I can't legally keep her from taking her child...but I don't feel like I should let any child go with an adult that I've never met and just "say" they are the mother. If this situation happens how do I go about it? I'm guessing I'll have to call the police?
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daycare 11:17 AM 06-03-2011
is the mothers name on the paper work as authorized to pick up? Even if she is the mother, if her name is NOT on the paper work, then she cant pick up. DCD will have to add her to the paperwork.
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Cat Herder 11:19 AM 06-03-2011
You call the Dad for permission to let the child go. Easy justification, you don't have positive ID.

If he says no, he comes to pick up, Right then. Mom waits.

You only get one shot at that, though. From that day forward you will have to allow Mom to pick up unless Dad gets a court order.

Tell Dad that TODAY.
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wdmmom 11:21 AM 06-03-2011
I wouldn't even get involved. If the potential mom shows up, tell her to have DCD contact you and authorize pickup. Get a name and make her show you photo ID.


If there is a custody agreement, you might want to ask for a copy to keep for your records in the event another situation arises in the future.
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daycare 11:26 AM 06-03-2011
I would check with LIC.

a few years ago I had a DCB that came from a split home. The mom signed him up and there was no mention of dad on any of the paperwork. I had asked about it and mom said dad is in the army and wants no part of his sons life. I left it at that.

about 6 months after the boy is in my care a man comes to my door and says hi I am ***X dad and I am here to pick him up. I freaked out. So I called the mom right away but she didnt answer. So I told the guy, I am really sorry, I don't know who you are and you are not on any of the paper work here at the DC for me to release *** child to you. I said please conact DCM and have her give permission to do so. Lucky for me he understood and left.
I called LIC right away and asked if I was allowed to do that. They said yes. If the mom did not put the dad on the paperwork, then he is not allowed to pick up from DC until he is on the paper work and there is a custody agreement.
the mom would not allow for DCD to pick up the kid, which was sad, but he finally got a court order that made her put him on the paper work and I was given a copy of the vistation agreement.

when in doubt, check with LIC.
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Unregistered 12:11 PM 06-03-2011
They have a court agreement and they were supposed to give me a copy of it. They haven't yet BECAUSE this is SUPPOSED to be the mom's week but she never showed up to get her so they called last minute and asked if she could come this week even though she's not supposed to start till next week. She is NOT on th paperwork as being allowed to pick her up. I guess she is on the warpath calling all the family members threatening to turn them in for kidnapping if they don't tell her where this little girl is at. The sheriff's department already told the family they don't have to relinquish her to the mom because she has breached the custody agreement. IDK!

I doubt she will know who I am cause I am a new person in this girl's life, but I want to have my ducks in a row in case I do hear a knock on my door. I just don't want her calling the police on ME! This lil girl desperately needs a stable safe home she can go during the parents work hours and she does so well here, I just don't want this crazy situation to get in the way of that. This is why young, immature kids should not have kids!
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grandmom 02:21 PM 06-03-2011
The only way you will know for sure if she is the mom is if she has the kid's birth certificate and her identification. Otherwise, she could just be anyone. I'd call the cops and/or dad unless she could prove who she was.

Ugh. Good luck.
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Crystal 02:51 PM 06-03-2011
Well, if she has ID, there is nothing you can do to prevent her from picking up, unless you have the court order on file that specifically states that she cannot pick up from care.

I would be prepared, call Dad BEFORE she arrives to let him know that you are hearing that she is looking for her child's daycare and ask him how he would like to handle it. Then you will be prepared if she shows up. Or, he may decide to go ahead and pick up early and meet with Mom.

Personally, I would have insisted at enrollment that I be provided with the court order before the child was allowed to attend. If pick up/emergency info was not listed for Mom on your paperwork, I would have asked for that info as well. It's best to be prepared ahead of time, especially with touchy, possibly legal issues like this.

Good luck.
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Unregistered 05:13 PM 06-03-2011
Well the grandmother ended up getting off work early to avoid the possibility of the mother following her to my house. She said she will bring the court docs next time she comes but from what I hear she IS now in the mothers custody so who knows when I'll ever have the child again.
I just feel really sad about the situation cause this girl could really use a good solid place in her life. The mother won't even tell the dad where she lives (cause they think she's just hopping around friends houses) and all the dad and the grandmother want is for her to have a place that is free of drama and safe and loving to go to. But she might be forced to tell the mother where I live and if that happens I'll be involved in the back and forth crap. The sheriff involved is actually a friend of ours so I'm going to ask him exactly how I handle this situation. I don't want to lose her but on the other hand I will not put up with drama and may be forced to let her go. (IF she even comes back!)
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Tags:authorized persons, custody, pick up policy
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