Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>This Kid Stress Me Out!!!!!
familyschoolcare 07:19 PM 11-01-2011
Honestly, I hope my children do not behave like this for other people. My oldest daycare child (12) is very defiant. That is the nicest way I know to say it.

Everything we do is stupid. A few weeks ago all the kids had no school and all day everything was stupid, the craft was stupid, the field trip was stupid, the park time was stupid, going outside was stupid.

However, he had fun. Today playing outside was stupid; time to play inside was stupid. Finally told him D I am not going to listen to your opinion any more.

I am going to try to pretend I cannot here him saying things are stupid or any of the other negative things he says to the air.

Honestly, I hold my pee all afternoon B/C I know that I cannot leave the room with him in it. B/C if I do not shadow him then the other children fell the need to yell hey D stop that. However, neither side can tell me what is happening

However, when I “shadow” him nobody has any problems.


When update my rates in July I will no longer offer a smaller rate for middle school than elementary. I am considering charging more for them but not sure, I could “sell” that to the parents.


Thanks for letting me vent. When D is the only daycare child I forget how much attention he needs B/C my own just turned 13 year old does not need that much supervision.
Reply
sharlan 07:43 PM 11-01-2011
Oh, I had one of those years ago. We took a trip to the beach, took a harbor boat ride, had pizza, played games on the boardwalk, etc. I had to get on her several times that day, never raising my voice, because she was climbing over the railing on the pier, kicked her brother at lunch because his pizza was bigger than her's (there was more pizza), running on the boat after the captain asked her to stop, taking her brother's tickets at the arcade.

All the way home, all I heard was how stupid everything was. All I did was yell at her all day, didn't let her do anything. She hated the beach, hated the sand, hated the water, and didn't know why she had to be "drug down here". 1 solid hour of stupid and hate.

First words out of her mouth when her mom got home was how much fun it was at the beach and she didn't know why they never went.

I told the mom about the behavior on the way home and how upset I was, how it ruined the day. She said, "I did not complain, I just told you that I didn't like the way you yell at me all the time." Her brother said, "That's not true." She slugged him and walked way.

Mom's response, "She doesn't like it when people yell at her."

Bye, bye, family.
Reply
daycare 07:46 PM 11-01-2011
As all of our momma's once said..

If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all..


This is what I would tell this kid....BUT

I would also ask the child what kind of things that they would like to do that aren't stupid... It's hard to please all ages with such a wide age spread..
Reply
sharlan 07:51 PM 11-01-2011
With kids like that, there's nothing you can do to please them. They're just not happy unless they're not happy.

I am guessing that this kid has no desire to be in daycare. He'd rather be hanging out unsupervised with his buddies. I won't take boys that age anymore.
Reply
familyschoolcare 07:54 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
As all of our momma's once said..

If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all..


This is what I would tell this kid....BUT

I would also ask the child what kind of things that they would like to do that aren't stupid... It's hard to please all ages with such a wide age spread..
I will try that again.
I need to what untill he is not ina everything is stupid mode and ask him what he would like to do. Last time a aske I got nothing everything is stupid.
Reply
laundrymom 08:51 PM 11-01-2011
For one thing the word stupid is mean. I wouldn't allow it. Seems like he has no respect for anyone. Sending hugs
Reply
daycare 08:56 PM 11-01-2011
Stupid is actually a bad word in my house. I think it's mean too

Oh and we can't say tht things lame, retarded or gay.

All of those are not allowed to be used in my house.
Reply
Crystal 09:15 PM 11-01-2011
What I would do is demand that he stop THE FIRST TIME he said it, and called his parents to pick him up the 2nd time he said it. I wouldn't tolerate that for one second....he's old enough to know better.

Since he's already been doing it though, Don't let him do ANYTHING. He can sit and WATCH all day long. At the end of the day ask him if he had a stupid day. Ask him if the day before was actually stupid as stupid as he said it was. let him know this is what his days will be like if it happens again.
Reply
Meyou 05:04 AM 11-02-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
What I would do is demand that he stop THE FIRST TIME he said it, and called his parents to pick him up the 2nd time he said it. I wouldn't tolerate that for one second....he's old enough to know better.

Since he's already been doing it though, Don't let him do ANYTHING. He can sit and WATCH all day long. At the end of the day ask him if he had a stupid day. Ask him if the day before was actually stupid as stupid as he said it was. let him know this is what his days will be like if it happens again.

ITA. 12 year olds are a mixture of little kid and "I'm too cool for everything" teenager. My 12 year old alternates between playing with toys to everything on the planet is stupid and boring. She and my 13 year old stepdaughter spent all 4 days of our camping trip this summer complaining they were bored and moping around. We just ignored them and did stuff with my still fun 7 year old.

Demand that he stop being rude. If he doesn't then really show him what bored is. If everything you do is stupid he can sit in a chair and be not stupid all by himself.
Reply
Kaddidle Care 05:16 AM 11-02-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
Stupid is actually a bad word in my house. I think it's mean too

Oh and we can't say tht things lame, retarded or gay.

All of those are not allowed to be used in my house.
I agree with this. We don't say the "S" word and as he's the oldest, he needs to step up to the plate and be a GOOD example for the younger ones.

You don't want a bunch of littles going around saying Stupid all the time and if he keeps it up, they will.

It might help to have him take charge of some of the crafts and show the littles how to do things. Get him busy.

Frankly, he's too old for your Daycare and on his behalf, is probably pretty mortified and embarassed that he has to be there. A chat with Mom/Dad is probably in order. If he continues to be disrespectful, he needs to leave.
Reply
LittleD 06:06 AM 11-02-2011
And another thing, little ones like to emulate the behavior of the older ones. So his being disrespectful of all the fun things you are doing could rub off on the little ones you certainly don't want that!!

Stupid is not a word that is aloud here. I always tell my kids, swearing makes it seem like you aren't intelligent. People who swear don't have enough words to say how they are really feeling, or are being lazy.
Reply
countrymom 07:10 AM 11-02-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
Stupid is actually a bad word in my house. I think it's mean too

Oh and we can't say tht things lame, retarded or gay.

All of those are not allowed to be used in my house.
those same words are not allowed in my house either.
Reply
countrymom 07:12 AM 11-02-2011
I think he's too old and really doesn't like hanging around the little kids, its time to let him go, this is why I don't watch older children anymore, its not worth the headache.
Reply
TBird 09:11 AM 11-02-2011
This is the exact reason that I wouldn't take an SA over the age of 10 years. That's really the last year they can appreciate the park, playing with & being around the little ones. As soon as their little feet hit the door of Junior High/Middle School...FORGET IT!!! Your program is babyish & all you get are complaints. There is no way I would go out of my way to go to the park, the beach, the pool and have a kid complain about it all day. It just makes it a drag for everybody!
Reply
Tags:12 year old, defiant, frustrated, older kids, school-age, stressed
Reply Up