Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Anyone Been In This Situation?
Unregistered 02:34 PM 03-06-2011
Sorry for the unregistered, but a little concerned about privacy right now. Anyway...

My step daughter this weekend (we have joint custody) let it slip that her mom was talking about turning us in to CPS for some "made up" things, simply b/c she thinks I shouldn't be able to "just stay home and babysit" and that she was going to have me shut down. (Poor step daugher is VERY used to being put in these situations by her mom)
This will be the 2nd time she has reported us to CPS, the first time I was not running a daycare and there were no findings of anything. She called us (we were in the middle of going to court over $ issues with her also) and said if we kept "messing with her, she would keep calling CPS". Well, we told CPS what she said, and fully cooperated with them (they were actually very nice) and they said these things were not uncommon, and actually apologized for the inconvenience, after their investigation was over.

We were mildly shaken, but not surprised. Now, it seems, she is on this bender to shut down my daycare simply b/c she hates me and thinks if she raises enough of a stink, they will shut me down or keep investigating me until I quit or all my dck leave due to parent concern.

Any suggestions????
Reply
momofboys 02:47 PM 03-06-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Sorry for the unregistered, but a little concerned about privacy right now. Anyway...

My step daughter this weekend (we have joint custody) let it slip that her mom was talking about turning us in to CPS for some "made up" things, simply b/c she thinks I shouldn't be able to "just stay home and babysit" and that she was going to have me shut down. (Poor step daugher is VERY used to being put in these situations by her mom)
This will be the 2nd time she has reported us to CPS, the first time I was not running a daycare and there were no findings of anything. She called us (we were in the middle of going to court over $ issues with her also) and said if we kept "messing with her, she would keep calling CPS". Well, we told CPS what she said, and fully cooperated with them (they were actually very nice) and they said these things were not uncommon, and actually apologized for the inconvenience, after their investigation was over.

We were mildly shaken, but not surprised. Now, it seems, she is on this bender to shut down my daycare simply b/c she hates me and thinks if she raises enough of a stink, they will shut me down or keep investigating me until I quit or all my dck leave due to parent concern.

Any suggestions????
I don't have any suggestions but that is so sad that the mom has to create problems for your family. What a poor example to your step-daughter. . . she is teaching her to be bitter & to do things to get "revenge". I am sorry you have to go through this. Keep your head held high.
Reply
Blackcat31 02:50 PM 03-06-2011
My guess is CPS has seen many people like her in their time and her behavior is probably nothing new to them. I would continue doing what you do and not give her your time and not waste any time fretting about her actions. She can call all she wants and if you aren't doing anything wrong, I am sure they will tell her to knock it off and tire of her actions. Let her harm herself by making a fool of herself.
I'm sure it can be stressful but I betcha they are on to her....
Reply
SilverSabre25 02:51 PM 03-06-2011
Ugh, sorry you are having to go through this. That really bites.

Play everything exactly by the book, be the perfect example of a stellar home daycare, and there will be nothing for them to find when they do come investigate. I don't think there's anything you can do to prevent it if the woman is determined to report you...but rest assured that if there is nothing to find, nothing will be found.

If you're licensed you might want to call them tomorrow and give them a heads up...that it's happened before and is your DH's ex being malicious.
Reply
treehugger82 02:52 PM 03-06-2011
I guess I don't know for sure, but it seems like if she keeps calling, they will eventually not listen? Could be considered some sort of slander situation or something. I'd probably wait for them to show up, and then tell them the situation. They have to listen to both sides. I know people who work for CPS and they are nice people, just doing a very difficult job. If you aren't hiding anything, I wouldn't worry about it.
Reply
daycare 03:49 PM 03-06-2011
I have been in a similar situation. I would call CPS and let them know what is going on. Give them all of her info and let them know she has done it before. It will also help to mention that she is putting your step daughter in the middle of the situation as well. Should the courts catch wind of this she could be in serious trouble.
My ex tried this on me too. It was living he@l at the time, but eventually got it all fixed in court. Keep good records too. Document everything. This really helped me in court.
Sorry you have to deal with this.
Good luck.
Reply
momatheart 05:45 PM 03-06-2011
I would call CPS and give them the heads up.

Keep record of this as well and anything that your step daughter tells you when she visits. Also know too that her mom will be asking her questions about her visit and look for anything that can be used against you.

This is sad actually.
Reply
Crystal 06:35 PM 03-06-2011
If she keeps it up, I would consult an attorney. You should have some legal recourse when you are being harrassed.

I would also be reporting HER to CPS. Involving her daughter to the extent she is could be considered Emotional abuse.
Reply
emosks 06:47 PM 03-06-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
If she keeps it up, I would consult an attorney. You should have some legal recourse when you are being harrassed.

I would also be reporting HER to CPS. Involving her daughter to the extent she is could be considered Emotional abuse.
Exactly! If you are running a daycare by the law then you have nothing to worry about.
Reply
Abigail 11:14 PM 03-06-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have been in a similar situation. I would call CPS and let them know what is going on. Give them all of her info and let them know she has done it before. It will also help to mention that she is putting your step daughter in the middle of the situation as well. Should the courts catch wind of this she could be in serious trouble.
My ex tried this on me too. It was living he@l at the time, but eventually got it all fixed in court. Keep good records too. Document everything. This really helped me in court.
Sorry you have to deal with this.
Good luck.
Originally Posted by momatheart:
I would call CPS and give them the heads up.

Keep record of this as well and anything that your step daughter tells you when she visits. Also know too that her mom will be asking her questions about her visit and look for anything that can be used against you.

This is sad actually.
Originally Posted by Crystal:
If she keeps it up, I would consult an attorney. You should have some legal recourse when you are being harrassed.

I would also be reporting HER to CPS. Involving her daughter to the extent she is could be considered Emotional abuse.
I agree with everything! I am so sorry that you're step-daughter is put in the middle of this! I use to be put in the middle of stuff between my mom and dad after they got a divorce---even 20 years after the divorce and then it's time to tell them to grow up! So glad I'm not in the middle anymore .
Reply
PeanutsGalore 10:11 AM 03-07-2011
Ya...document EVERYTHING, turn her into CPS for valid reasons, get a restraining order if necessary (because at the very least, she's harassing you), make sure to record any verbal messages she sends your way just in case it will be useful, and SUE her. If you have documentation for her turning you into CPS on multiple occasions and the accusations are unfounded, then you can probably, eventually make a case for slander if she's doing this maliciously. I'd talk to an attorney. You can probably even sue in small claims court.
Reply
Tags:bad parent, cps
Reply Up