Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Someone Tell Me How to Get a Back Bone!...
Unregistered 10:15 AM 07-05-2016
...my worst weakness as a provider!...
Controlled Chaos 10:20 AM 07-05-2016
Practice practice practice
Put yourself and your family before the needs/wants/whims of daycare families.
Remember you are business. What would your bank/manager at the grocery store/ utility company/ landlord etc do in certain situations? Hint: they would demand to be paid at the time of service or before service, and they close exactly when they want to and not a second later
Put yourself and your family before the needs/wants/whims of daycare families.
Remember you are business. What would your bank/manager at the grocery store/ utility company/ landlord etc do in certain situations? Hint: they would demand to be paid at the time of service or before service, and they close exactly when they want to and not a second later
Snowmom 10:49 AM 07-05-2016
After the first couple times, it gets easier!
You set the stage. If you follow through with your policies, so will they (in most cases
)
You set the stage. If you follow through with your policies, so will they (in most cases
)
daycarediva 10:50 AM 07-05-2016
1. Don't apologize for enforcing policies. It helped ME when I stopped saying "I'm sorry but..." Why am I sorry? They were late/forgot supplies, etc.
2. Start with letters home, I have a form for everything. Now instead of a big explanation I just staple a late fee form to their sheet for the day and the form has the late fee and portion of my handbook on it.
PRACTICE!
2. Start with letters home, I have a form for everything. Now instead of a big explanation I just staple a late fee form to their sheet for the day and the form has the late fee and portion of my handbook on it.
PRACTICE!
AmyKidsCo 12:26 PM 07-05-2016
Yup, what they said.
I started with letters home and forms too, so I wouldn't have to think of what to say on the fly.
I say "the parent handbook says" rather than "my policy is" because they might try to argue with me, but they can't argue with an inanimate handbook.
Definitely practice, practice, practice! If possible, start with smaller, noncontroversial policies before jumping into any big ones.
I started with letters home and forms too, so I wouldn't have to think of what to say on the fly.
I say "the parent handbook says" rather than "my policy is" because they might try to argue with me, but they can't argue with an inanimate handbook.
Definitely practice, practice, practice! If possible, start with smaller, noncontroversial policies before jumping into any big ones.
Unregistered 07:01 PM 07-05-2016
...All of you for your supportive comments. It's hard, as a mother myself, to not have sympathetic understanding, but the minute I do...they take it a mile or more.!. What's even harder is friends. "Can you put my kids in PJs, feed them dinner, and I may be late picking them up." Ummm...okay...well...there goes my time with my kids.
At times I feel so much pressure. Maybe it's just me being over-reactive. I have my husband harping down my back about paying back all the money I've spent towards this endeavor, parents always trying to ask for "wiggle room" in the pricing, and friends asking for more and more and more. Thank God for night time Xanix!!! ;-) Kidding, of course! ;-) I think the profession of a provider has more responsibility than that of many professions.
Thank you, again, so much! You were all very encouraging!
At times I feel so much pressure. Maybe it's just me being over-reactive. I have my husband harping down my back about paying back all the money I've spent towards this endeavor, parents always trying to ask for "wiggle room" in the pricing, and friends asking for more and more and more. Thank God for night time Xanix!!! ;-) Kidding, of course! ;-) I think the profession of a provider has more responsibility than that of many professions.
Thank you, again, so much! You were all very encouraging!
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:35 PM 07-05-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
...All of you for your supportive comments. It's hard, as a mother myself, to not have sympathetic understanding, but the minute I do...they take it a mile or more.!. What's even harder is friends. "Can you put my kids in PJs, feed them dinner, and I may be late picking them up." Ummm...okay...well...there goes my time with my kids.
At times I feel so much pressure. Maybe it's just me being over-reactive. I have my husband harping down my back about paying back all the money I've spent towards this endeavor, parents always trying to ask for "wiggle room" in the pricing, and friends asking for more and more and more. Thank God for night time Xanix!!! ;-) Kidding, of course! ;-) I think the profession of a provider has more responsibility than that of many professions.
Thank you, again, so much! You were all very encouraging!
Here's the thing about friends......All of you for your supportive comments. It's hard, as a mother myself, to not have sympathetic understanding, but the minute I do...they take it a mile or more.!. What's even harder is friends. "Can you put my kids in PJs, feed them dinner, and I may be late picking them up." Ummm...okay...well...there goes my time with my kids.
At times I feel so much pressure. Maybe it's just me being over-reactive. I have my husband harping down my back about paying back all the money I've spent towards this endeavor, parents always trying to ask for "wiggle room" in the pricing, and friends asking for more and more and more. Thank God for night time Xanix!!! ;-) Kidding, of course! ;-) I think the profession of a provider has more responsibility than that of many professions.
Thank you, again, so much! You were all very encouraging!
IF they were your friends then they would respect you as a business and as a person with her own family life.
Would YOU say those things to your friend if she was watching your child one day OR if she were your actual daycare provider? I would be embarrassed to even think such thoughts!
I've had family enrolled here. It was wonderful and they were very respectful because they appreciated the fact that they KNEW who was providing care for their child. I've had a friend enrolled here. It was wonderful because, again, they KNEW who was providing care for their child and absolutely loved the things I offered. NEVER took advantage. In fact, both respected me more than my random clients. They treated me how they would have wanted to have been treated if they ran a business like this.
Don't let a "friend" walk all over you. You don't have a friendship anyways if they're going to be miffed that you want your own time with your family and/or don't want to provide special things to them for free. If you NEED to say you're sorry then do it. I began building a backbone that way and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Now, I just smile and say whatever I need to say. Time helped and practice did, too.
"I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot accommodate that."
The less of a reason you give someone the less they can argue with. But if they're cutting into your family's time with you then I would say so. "I can't accommodate late pick ups. The evening is reserved for my family so we can relax together, enjoy our dinner together, and prepare for bed together. I'm SURE you can understand!
"
mom2many 09:02 PM 07-05-2016
I'm very non confrontational and even after all of these years, I hate being the "enforcer". Fortunately, I have very respectful parents and am very picky about who I have in my daycare.
I refuse to have a working relationship with anyone that try's to take advantage of me. It's taken me years to identify and red flag certain personalities, but this is a profession where experience and having the ability to identify issues early on is a godsend! I've lived and learned...sometimes the hard way!
My husband used to say how I'd stand up to him, but would allow daycare parents to mow me over. I seriously resented that and it helped me to learn how to diplomatically stand up to people who tried to manipulate me. My rules were in place for a reason and I needed to believe in them and enforce them for my own piece of mind.
Honestly, it's been many years since anyone has challenged me on my policies and maybe it's experience that exudes a certain confidence, so they don't even try...
Hang in there!
I refuse to have a working relationship with anyone that try's to take advantage of me. It's taken me years to identify and red flag certain personalities, but this is a profession where experience and having the ability to identify issues early on is a godsend! I've lived and learned...sometimes the hard way!
My husband used to say how I'd stand up to him, but would allow daycare parents to mow me over. I seriously resented that and it helped me to learn how to diplomatically stand up to people who tried to manipulate me. My rules were in place for a reason and I needed to believe in them and enforce them for my own piece of mind.
Honestly, it's been many years since anyone has challenged me on my policies and maybe it's experience that exudes a certain confidence, so they don't even try...
Hang in there!
Cat Herder 04:35 AM 07-06-2016
Get stepped on enough and you learn it is better to get up off the floor.
Unregistered 04:44 AM 07-06-2016
So discouraging! What's worse is that I'm charging her less than the others. Ahhh!! I have got to stop being so nice! It was so much easier being "mean" and "tough" when I was pregnant. I wish I could have that mentality back without the whole baby part. :-O Thank you, again. You're comment put a new light on things, and you are exactly right.
My rate at first was $20 a day...I have sense raised it by $5.00 to $25 a day per child. Aside from providing the usual breakfast, lunch and stacks along with wipes for diaper changes, I provide a state approved school-ready curriculum. I'm apart of the Scholastic Reading program and give each child one free book a month, and, for a couple of the older kids, I am providing a program where they are able to learn the history of our local town which includes field trips. I tell parents all of this that I provide and some of their responses are, I kid you not, "do you have any wiggle room on your prices?" :-( Seriously!!!???!!!
Okay...I should be doing this on the venting post. Sorry for my babbling. Thank you all so much, again. I am working hard at gaining a backbone.
My rate at first was $20 a day...I have sense raised it by $5.00 to $25 a day per child. Aside from providing the usual breakfast, lunch and stacks along with wipes for diaper changes, I provide a state approved school-ready curriculum. I'm apart of the Scholastic Reading program and give each child one free book a month, and, for a couple of the older kids, I am providing a program where they are able to learn the history of our local town which includes field trips. I tell parents all of this that I provide and some of their responses are, I kid you not, "do you have any wiggle room on your prices?" :-( Seriously!!!???!!!
Okay...I should be doing this on the venting post. Sorry for my babbling. Thank you all so much, again. I am working hard at gaining a backbone.
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Here's the thing about friends...
IF they were your friends then they would respect you as a business and as a person with her own family life.
Would YOU say those things to your friend if she was watching your child one day OR if she were your actual daycare provider? I would be embarrassed to even think such thoughts!
I've had family enrolled here. It was wonderful and they were very respectful because they appreciated the fact that they KNEW who was providing care for their child. I've had a friend enrolled here. It was wonderful because, again, they KNEW who was providing care for their child and absolutely loved the things I offered. NEVER took advantage. In fact, both respected me more than my random clients. They treated me how they would have wanted to have been treated if they ran a business like this.
Don't let a "friend" walk all over you. You don't have a friendship anyways if they're going to be miffed that you want your own time with your family and/or don't want to provide special things to them for free. If you NEED to say you're sorry then do it. I began building a backbone that way and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Now, I just smile and say whatever I need to say. Time helped and practice did, too.
"I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot accommodate that."
The less of a reason you give someone the less they can argue with. But if they're cutting into your family's time with you then I would say so. "I can't accommodate late pick ups. The evening is reserved for my family so we can relax together, enjoy our dinner together, and prepare for bed together. I'm SURE you can understand!"
Here's the thing about friends...
IF they were your friends then they would respect you as a business and as a person with her own family life.
Would YOU say those things to your friend if she was watching your child one day OR if she were your actual daycare provider? I would be embarrassed to even think such thoughts!
I've had family enrolled here. It was wonderful and they were very respectful because they appreciated the fact that they KNEW who was providing care for their child. I've had a friend enrolled here. It was wonderful because, again, they KNEW who was providing care for their child and absolutely loved the things I offered. NEVER took advantage. In fact, both respected me more than my random clients. They treated me how they would have wanted to have been treated if they ran a business like this.
Don't let a "friend" walk all over you. You don't have a friendship anyways if they're going to be miffed that you want your own time with your family and/or don't want to provide special things to them for free. If you NEED to say you're sorry then do it. I began building a backbone that way and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Now, I just smile and say whatever I need to say. Time helped and practice did, too.
"I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot accommodate that."
The less of a reason you give someone the less they can argue with. But if they're cutting into your family's time with you then I would say so. "I can't accommodate late pick ups. The evening is reserved for my family so we can relax together, enjoy our dinner together, and prepare for bed together. I'm SURE you can understand!
"
Cat Herder 04:51 AM 07-06-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It was so much easier being "mean" and "tough" when I was pregnant. I wish I could have that mentality back
Cool. This will be easy then... It was so much easier being "mean" and "tough" when I was pregnant. I wish I could have that mentality back
Every discount and extra minute worked is time and money being taken from your child.
Let that simmer a bit.
Be mamma bear.