I have a 6 yr old boy who is terribly passive agressive.
"I wonder what I am going to eat with..." (When I haven't yet set his fork on the table.)
"I wish I could go ____ too" (when his name hasn't been called yet for something)
"hmmm.... I kinda really like ***XX toy" (instead of asking to play something)
" I.....I.....I think..... I hmmmm..... I (sigh) have wet hands." (Instead of a simple DUDE, WERE OUT OF PAPER TOWELS!!!)

What do you do with this???? I try to ignore it but literally this is EVERYTHING, he is the least direct kid I have ever met, never asks for anything, simply "wishes, wonders, thinks etc". I have ignored it and he just continues on and on and on. Finally today I said "Hmm, Im not sure WHAT your going to eat with BUT IM SURE YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT ". Really, what would you do with this?

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Oh boy, that would drive me up the wall. I have a 5 year old that's similar, but instead of the passive aggressive stuff, she just says/asks "you didn't give ME a fork" or "when are you going to call ME??" immediately after me giving/calling the first person.

I guess it's just the "me, me, ME" culture we're seeing so much of...is he an only child or a youngest by far?

With my little lady, Nan advised me have her be last all the time so that she can see what waiting patiently and asking respectfully looks like from the other kids, until she catches on. Maybe your guy should also ask for what he needs before he.gets it, instead of the sighing and looking around.

Although I gotta admit, I admire a 6 year old with an effective handle on sarcasm

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I have this problem with several kids. The two biggest P/A kids always say:

1. "I wish there was toilet paper in the bathroomso I can go potty.
My response: "Well, what should you do?
Child's response: get the toilet paper from under the sink.

2 . "I wish I could get a treat like everybody else cause I played the game too.
The child is saying this as I am passing out treats to everyone in the class.
My response: Have I finished passing out snacks?

This totally drives me crazy because they already know the answer but they insist on saying the same thing every time. It's gotten to the point that the other kids basically yell the answer at them in frustration.

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Well it depends on why you think he's doing it. If you think it's because he can't process his environment and doesn't have the language skills to say what he needs or wants... then that's a different technique.

If he's doing it because he's trying to interject an adult into his minute to minute so you HAVE to do him... then HIS technique is quite slick and most likely works real sweet like with others.

If you think he's doing it as a term of adult engagement then I would reccomend answering them like this:

"I wonder what I am going to eat with..." (When I haven't yet set his fork on the table.)

I wonder too

"I wish I could go ____ too" (when his name hasn't been called yet for something)

I wish you could too


"hmmm.... I kinda really like ***XX toy"

I like it too

With each quick phrase then turn away and don't give it any more energy.

This is a version of "tag your're it" where you hand it BACK to him. When you respond with just what he's said and relate it to you then you are both in the same boat now aren't ya?

He wants out of the boat he needs to come up with the words that will actually WORK.

If he's doing it to actually succeed in something.. meaning he gets your attention AND he gets the cream of the crop moment to moment then I would give him the "me too" responses and have him be last in all that he "marks" with this behavior. Things he doesn't mark he gets his fair turn at the first/best/ or whatever... but whatever he "marks" with these words puts him to the back of the line.

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To be honest, I'd rather have that approach rather than the normal demands "I WANT" and lack of manners "Gimme" I have been experiencing lately.

It's kind of funny.

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I like this method as opposed to ignoring the child. I think that you should always answer the child and use everything as a teaching moment. I like how you answered the above questions! They will get it eventually.

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I have been dealing with something similar from all of my kids, DC & my own. They come up to me and make a statement like "I'm thirsty". I look at them and say "good for you" or "thanks for letting me know". It has taken them MONTHS but they are finally starting to catch themselves and actually ASK for what they want instead of expecting me to fulfill their wishes. Refusing to respond to them with what they want when they don't ask properly has been my only weapon and I have been using it.

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