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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parent Asks "What Am I Paying You For"
rosieteddy 12:32 PM 06-26-2014
Maybe I am wrong on this,but my written policy is Dr or other appointments should be made before 10:30 am or after 330 pm.I do not allow children to leave and come back between 11:00-3:30pm. Actually if they leave early they are discouraged from dropping back off. I feel that it is to disruptive to our day. Infants fall asleep in the car throwing off thier and my schedule. Monday a long term client (7 yrs) informe me that she would be picking up her 1 yr o;d at 10:45 am for a 11:00 appointment for shots no less.She wanted to bring her back in the middle for lunch. I did not agree I did let her take the 5 yr old for school screening last month.He did come back and rest,I told her then it was a one time deal,that other parents would want the same .I sent a note that afternoon telling her I would not be able to accomodate her. I explane as per my policy she could not come back that day.She was livid she said she was really angry about the letter. I explained that I understood her anger but felt the policy would be followed.Her reply was :What am I paying you for: Mind you I have had her children overnught (for free_) when this baby came early. Not to mention I never send home for fever just let them pick up at regular time. No care for next day. She dies have the day off to take the oldest to the Denist so no work missed. Just dissapointed I guess.
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crazydaycarelady 12:37 PM 06-26-2014
I don't place any of those kind of restrictions on the parents. Maybe that was the only appointment time available to take her? Maybe that is what time works best with her work? or dcm needs to use a lunch hour?

I think we have to be flexible, we have schedules that we try to keep but the parents don't answer to themselves, usually they have bosses and schedules also. It is hard for them to miss work as is let alone try and do it during certain times.
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Play Care 12:38 PM 06-26-2014
Do not waiver, she is not your boss. I know someone else might have a more pithy comeback but I'm flat out today Just know you are in the right. I allow ONE drop off and pick up per day. No exceptions.
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SquirrellyMama 12:41 PM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I don't place any of those kind of restrictions on the parents. Maybe that was the only appointment time available to take her? Maybe that is what time works best with her work? or dcm needs to use a lunch hour?

I think we have to be flexible, we have schedules that we try to keep but the parents don't answer to themselves, usually they have bosses and schedules also. It is hard for them to miss work as is let alone try and do it during certain times.
OP said dcm has the day off so it isn't because of her boss.

OP- I would be ticked and tell dcm off if she said that too me. Maybe you could remind her of the free overnight care. Hopefully she feels bad and apologizes.

Kelly
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cara041083 12:41 PM 06-26-2014
I agree with what you told her. I have the same policy in place. It messes up nap and lunch for everyone here. Especially if they sleep in the same room. Good for you for holding your ground.
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TwinKristi 12:43 PM 06-26-2014
Has this always been your policy? Is it in your contract?

If yes, then really she has nothing to complain about. You did allow her to do this before which sets you up for this behavior in the future.

If no, I can see her being a little peeved. I allow for pickup and dropoff if its within a reasonable amount of time and isn't disruptive to our schedule. It's not in my contract though so a parent would probably be irritated if I said no too. I may discourage it, but I don't really have it in writing.
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mrsnj 12:46 PM 06-26-2014
I'm with Crazy. The only thing I do not do is allow drop off during the middle of naps. And if they miss lunch, they have to eat before coming. Otherwise,I try my best to be flexible.

BUT your rules are clearly stated. I wouldn't back down now unless you are willing to change the rules all around. If not, stand firm. She knew the rules.
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NightOwl 12:52 PM 06-26-2014
WHAT DOES SHE PAY YOU FOR?
Care and love
Healthy meals
Enriching activities
Social interaction
Close supervision
Developmentally appropriate toys
UNDISTURBED nap times (from other children coming in at inappropriate times)


What she does NOT pay you for:
You tolerating her attitude problem
Special treatment for her children

Set her straight. If this is in your policies, then she is blatantly defying your policies (wanting special treatment) and being disrespectful of you in your own home. If it's the only appointment available, which I doubt (she could always go another day), she should've made arrangements with dh or gma to keep the child after the appointment. YOU ARE NOT HER EMPLOYEE. You are running a business that has rules. She needs to respect that or move on to someone who is willing to bend to her every whim.
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craftymissbeth 12:54 PM 06-26-2014
I don't allow any drop-offs after 9 and I only allow one drop-off/pick-up per day. I discourage pick-ups during nap time, but won't attempt to keep a parent from doing it. I don't need to explain to my clients WHY those are my policies unless I feel particularly nice. I feel like when I try to explain why a policy is in place they simply try to find reasons why my reasons won't apply to them. lol no thanks!

OP - just stick to your guns if you feel that this is a battle worth fighting.
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AmyKidsCo 12:57 PM 06-26-2014
The beauty of being business owner is the right to set your own rules and policies. If those are your policies then the parents need to follow them - if they don't like your policies they're free to find care elsewhere.
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MarinaVanessa 01:45 PM 06-26-2014
Although I agree with being flexible I don't believe in being flexible with everything. OP had already been flexible with the older child and then DCM expected her to be fine with with doing it with the younger one. OP was flexible once, expected it twice, flipped out when told no.

I don't allow drop offs or pick ups during nap either and for shots I exclude for 48 hours. I suggest to my clients that they schedule appts on Friday afternoons so they don't miss work/daycare.
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midaycare 01:45 PM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I'm with Crazy. The only thing I do not do is allow drop off during the middle of naps. And if they miss lunch, they have to eat before coming. Otherwise,I try my best to be flexible.

BUT your rules are clearly stated. I wouldn't back down now unless you are willing to change the rules all around. If not, stand firm. She knew the rules.
I'm about as flexible as they come. Probably because I remember having my DS in daycare and I was always so stressed out about ticking off our daycare provider. So I'm really flexible when it comes to appts and drop offs. Even lateness. I remember having to be 15 minutes late here or there. No one comes early though, oh heck no

But your policies, your business, your rules!
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Blackcat31 01:50 PM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Although I agree with being flexible I don't believe in being flexible with everything. OP had already been flexible with the older child and then DCM expected her to be fine with with doing it with the younger one. OP was flexible once, expected it twice, flipped out when told no.

I don't allow drop offs or pick ups during nap either and for shots I exclude for 48 hours. I suggest to my clients that they schedule appts on Friday afternoons so they don't miss work/daycare.


This was also something OP said she forewarned DCM about... the previous allowance of picking up and dropping back off...she was told then that it was a one time exception.

I would be livid about the attitude.
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KidGrind 03:05 PM 06-26-2014
You’re paying me to provide a safe, nurturing place for your children to attend while you’re at work based upon the policies in our contract.

There are plenty of childcare centers that allow multiple drop-offs. You will have to call them to inquire if they offer free overnight care in your time of need. Anymore questions?

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SilverSabre25 03:19 PM 06-26-2014
I would have looked her in the eye and said simply "You, and all the other parents, are paying me to take good care of the children, to provide them enriching play experiences, nourishing food, an adequate time to get the rest they need without interruptions. Sometimes, the needs of the many really do outweigh the needs of the few or the one...and this is one of those times."
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CraftyMom 03:26 PM 06-26-2014
The getting shots is enough alone for her to not come back.
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nannyde 05:54 PM 06-26-2014
One arrival
One departure
Per parent
Per child
Per day
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KIDZRMYBIZ 06:58 PM 06-26-2014
I used to be "flexible" on all things, and this was one of them. And it wasn't so much as flexible, but more like do whatever they ask me because they pay me. And you know what that leads to? Major burnout! I made lots of changes, found my backbone, and enforce them. NEVER have I regretted doing so.

I tell my DCFs that they shouldn't bring their kids to me after immunizations-not only are they cranky (and, boy, are they ever!), but if they should have a reaction it would obviously be better that they are with mom/dad, not the daycare lady.

Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to fabricate a story about a "daycare friend." Something like:
My friend had this one little guy that was dropped off after his 12mos check-up. He had an acute reaction to his MMR booster, spiked a 104 degree fever, and just as DCM was getting him ready to go home, he had a febrile seizure. I don't ever want that to happen here.

Otherwise, you could go passive/aggressive:
Do not let their child(ren) nap all day, feed them lots of junk, get them all jazzed up before pick-up with a super fun, high energy activity, or anything else to basically ensure they are going to be a total wreck at home. Then, when they pick-up, say, "Sorry, our entire routine was thrown off today by another DCF interrupting/delaying such-and-such time. I hope he/she isn't a pistol all night." Then, a few days later, send out a notice to the offender that looks like it went to all of them stating the policy. I doubt DCM would argue then!

It's sad to see how incredibly self-absorbed people are becoming, and how their children continually take a backseat to BOTH parents' jobs/work/career and their disgusting "me time." Aye-yie-yie.
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rosieteddy 07:46 PM 06-26-2014
Thanks everyone for your insight into this .I do know the mom had not only an earlier appointment and switched it ,but the day off as well. I do have it stated in my contract about before 10:30 and after 3:30. I will add the one drop off one pick-up per day rule under it.That should alleviate any question about the policy.I am very accomadating and do try to work things out with the parents. I sometimes do not collect the late fee ,I do have in my policies-contract that failure to enforce a rule-policy does not negate the contract to cover me. I guess at the end of the day its dissapointing when people you thought care don't. The Mom did not come for pickup or drop-off today and Dad said she was upset.She is keeping the 5 yr old tomorrow as well. It took a lot not to try to justify my policy .I just repeated that I understood she was upset,but I needed to follow the policy.Another daycare family was going to their house tonight.I really hope this doesn't turn bad. Thanks again I really appreciate your input.I am hoping that the weekend will lessen the anger(from her).Though Monday is tuition day and I am closed for vacation starting Thursday 3rd. Aggggh
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Blackcat31 06:19 AM 06-27-2014
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
Thanks everyone for your insight into this .I do know the mom had not only an earlier appointment and switched it ,but the day off as well. I do have it stated in my contract about before 10:30 and after 3:30. I will add the one drop off one pick-up per day rule under it.That should alleviate any question about the policy.I am very accomadating and do try to work things out with the parents. I sometimes do not collect the late fee ,I do have in my policies-contract that failure to enforce a rule-policy does not negate the contract to cover me. I guess at the end of the day its dissapointing when people you thought care don't. The Mom did not come for pickup or drop-off today and Dad said she was upset.She is keeping the 5 yr old tomorrow as well. It took a lot not to try to justify my policy .I just repeated that I understood she was upset,but I needed to follow the policy.Another daycare family was going to their house tonight.I really hope this doesn't turn bad. Thanks again I really appreciate your input.I am hoping that the weekend will lessen the anger(from her).Though Monday is tuition day and I am closed for vacation starting Thursday 3rd. Aggggh
I hope things work out for you.

It is sad when a family is upset but if you look at it factually, this mom is upset because you enforced a rule.

Just like a 2 yr old.

If you give in just to avoid her being upset, then you do work FOR her and since most of us provide services that parent CHOOSE to buy from us, I don't think that fits you.

YOU are a self-employed business woman that deserves respect for what you do and should never have to put up with an adult pouting because you said no to her.

She should really be embarrassed about her behavior not upset.

I hope you get paid as normal and this blows over.

Enjoy your vacation and don't let work get to you.
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NightOwl 06:27 AM 06-27-2014
Keep us updated please!
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My3cents 12:31 PM 06-27-2014
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
Maybe I am wrong on this,but my written policy is Dr or other appointments should be made before 10:30 am or after 330 pm.I do not allow children to leave and come back between 11:00-3:30pm. Actually if they leave early they are discouraged from dropping back off. I feel that it is to disruptive to our day. Infants fall asleep in the car throwing off thier and my schedule. Monday a long term client (7 yrs) informe me that she would be picking up her 1 yr o;d at 10:45 am for a 11:00 appointment for shots no less.She wanted to bring her back in the middle for lunch. I did not agree I did let her take the 5 yr old for school screening last month.He did come back and rest,I told her then it was a one time deal,that other parents would want the same .I sent a note that afternoon telling her I would not be able to accomodate her. I explane as per my policy she could not come back that day.She was livid she said she was really angry about the letter. I explained that I understood her anger but felt the policy would be followed.Her reply was :What am I paying you for: Mind you I have had her children overnught (for free_) when this baby came early. Not to mention I never send home for fever just let them pick up at regular time. No care for next day. She dies have the day off to take the oldest to the Denist so no work missed. Just dissapointed I guess.
Who is the boss?
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DaisyMamma 04:30 PM 06-29-2014
Sorry to point this out but the problem occurred when you let her do it with the other child. And because you keep giving her "special" for other things too and now she expects it. Don't let it upset you and keep to your policy.
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debbiedoeszip 08:40 AM 06-30-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I don't place any of those kind of restrictions on the parents. Maybe that was the only appointment time available to take her? Maybe that is what time works best with her work? or dcm needs to use a lunch hour?

I think we have to be flexible, we have schedules that we try to keep but the parents don't answer to themselves, usually they have bosses and schedules also. It is hard for them to miss work as is let alone try and do it during certain times.
I don't either. I remember when my DS was in daycare, even there I could get him during nap or lunch (and though I never did, I don't recall any rule about dropping back off during nap/lunch). Their only rule was that kids needed to be dropped off by 9:30am, but only because a child's daycare group might be out for a walk during that time and so there might not be anyone to receive him if he arrived after 9:30am.

I don't leave the property at all, so there is never a time when I/dckids might not be there. So, I don't have any such rule about when drop-offs need to occur.
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rosieteddy 11:15 AM 06-30-2014
Well mom dropped off today.She did not mention Friday.She is defineatly still upset about it.She did hand me a thankyou note for the babies first birthday gift and little party we had last week. I always provide cupcakes and a nice gift for each child on their birthdays. If this had been an emergency appointment and a child needs to leave during nap time I do let parents pick-up ,they call from the driveway and I quietly bring child to door.They just can not bring back to daycare. I am flexible in emergency situations. This appointment was changed fromm 9:00am to 11:00. She still might pull as older child will be off toschool in the fall.
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rosieteddy 12:10 PM 07-01-2014
Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.
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NightOwl 12:26 PM 07-01-2014
Fudge.... Ya know, some things just aren't worth it. Like that sippy cup you find under the couch and there's some sort of colony now living in it? Not worth it. Throw it out and be done.
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Leigh 12:27 PM 07-01-2014
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.
I'd text her right now and tell her that she needs to bring you another check for the amount she shorted you. And, if her kids shows up again without proper attire, require her to either bring a spare pair of shoes for the kid's cubby for when she "forgets", or send her back home to get the shoes he needs.
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TheGoodLife 12:32 PM 07-01-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I'd text her right now and tell her that she needs to bring you another check for the amount she shorted you. And, if her kids shows up again without proper attire, require her to either bring a spare pair of shoes for the kid's cubby for when she "forgets", or send her back home to get the shoes he needs.
Yep, I'd be consistent and not let any of the rules slide- she's trying to play games and "one-up" you on everything. I'd tell her at PU that she needs the $166 and appropriate attire (including sunscreen) tomorrow or they will not be allowed into care. And start advertising if you aren't already
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NeedaVaca 12:34 PM 07-01-2014
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.
She wouldn't have been laughing at the missing sneakers had she been turned away at the door. I assume your policies require sunscreen before they come? So,short pay, wrong shoes, no shoes and no sunscreen? That's pretty bad...You are going to have to say something to DCM and set her straight.
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MOM OF 4 12:42 PM 07-01-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I'd text her right now and tell her that she needs to bring you another check for the amount she shorted you. And, if her kids shows up again without proper attire, require her to either bring a spare pair of shoes for the kid's cubby for when she "forgets", or send her back home to get the shoes he needs.
THIS! Don't let her short you. I made that mistake MANY times. Regretted every mistake I made with my daycare. I could have been a lot more successful, but when you let things slide, you begin to feel resentful and hate your job.
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rosieteddy 04:25 PM 07-01-2014
I wrote a note and handed it to dad at pickup.I gave the check with wrong amount back and said to reissue in proper amount. I told her to bring sneakers and socks in his bag if he wears the sandals again. I explained that policy is to arrive wearing sunscreen and I would reapply when needed. I made it short and sweet.I also said in the note what next months tuition should be and that we would recontract for the baby in sept.when older child goes to kindergarten . Right now I have 3 families getting sibling discounts.We will see what tomorrow brings.
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SquirrellyMama 08:40 AM 07-02-2014
You need to term them before they term you. Get the last word in this.

Kelly
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NightOwl 09:23 AM 07-02-2014
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
I wrote a note and handed it to dad at pickup.I gave the check with wrong amount back and said to reissue in proper amount. I told her to bring sneakers and socks in his bag if he wears the sandals again. I explained that policy is to arrive wearing sunscreen and I would reapply when needed. I made it short and sweet.I also said in the note what next months tuition should be and that we would recontract for the baby in sept.when older child goes to kindergarten . Right now I have 3 families getting sibling discounts.We will see what tomorrow brings.
Good for you!!
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TwinKristi 10:40 AM 07-02-2014
I don't see this ending well...
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rosieteddy 03:00 PM 07-02-2014
Well I think the problem has blown over.Last pick-up this week and she seemed ok.We are on vacation untilJuly 14th so we will see.She did let the older child hand me the reissued check ,which usually isn't right.I just took it and said thanks Mom.The boy said look Nana I have my sneakers on.I said great you know the rules ,he said" ya you were right the wood chips were annoying". Mom just laughed. So I think this is over.Will I be shocked if after vacation they give notice?No and I almost asked her if I needed to start the babies book and blanket.When the children leave my group they get a memory book and crochet blanket (we call it a warm hug from Nana).I thought better not stir the pot. Thanks for all your support and advice sometimes this job is hard with no coworkersto bounce things off .Husbands are only so good (well mine anyway).
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Tags:flexibility, flexible, immunizations, multiple pick ups, parent told no, policies, upset parent
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