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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM Staying FOREVER At Pickup Time
MsMe 01:41 PM 10-10-2011
I have one DCM that always does it but each one has done it at soem time or another.

At first I didn't mind it...I kinda liked the adult conversation. We NEVER talk about personal issues or other people...just a lot about 'the weather' type stuff or her own children. She is a great daycare parent and I don't want to offend her but I am SOOOOO over her staying for 30 minutes EACH day!!

As we all know the kids act up when others are around and it can also interfere if we are doing an activity.

I KNOW Nannyde would NEVER allow this....so Nanny will just a genteral letter home reviewing this policy and a few others that are beign broken...be enough to make this Mom stop.

I am thinking about closign in December but have decide to give the next two months my everythign and put ALL my policies back in place and get rid of a few things that have been stressing me out to make sure I am still ready to walk aways.

How have any of you addressed the parent that 'hangs out'?
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laundrymom 01:46 PM 10-10-2011
I don't mean to be rude Jan because I really enjoy our chats but I'm getting behind on my routine and if I don't keep things on schedule it gets crazy. Can we keep pickups quick for a few weeks and see if I can get my routines down?
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MsMe 01:52 PM 10-10-2011
I thought about something like that...but now it is more of DCB saying "Mom 5 more minutes!!!' and not wanting to go. DCM agrees and jsut chats away. Even on the night she tells him 'hurry we have a hair cut to get to' she allows him to play for 15 minutes.

I want to tell teh boy earlier in the day..when Mom comes you can not ask to stay longer, you must go with Mom. He would fore sure tell Mom I told him this and I am positive it would offend her.

For the 7 years I have been open I have allowed things like this to slide, to make parents happy. I wanted to do EVERYTHING I could to make EVERY parent happy. It ruined me.
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bice99 02:31 PM 10-10-2011
Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...
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MsMe 02:38 PM 10-10-2011
Originally Posted by bice99:
Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...
Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.
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bice99 02:40 PM 10-10-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.
I run on contracted hours. So Mom might show up earlier than contracted, but I do ask parents to text me and give me a heads up.
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daycare 02:44 PM 10-10-2011
try this in your news letter or send it home to parents

Just say, as a freindly reminder:


It is normal for some children to have difficulty separating from parents in the morning or not wanting to leave when it's time to go home. Please be very brief (no more than 5 minutes is sufficient) during these transition times. The longer you prolong the departure the harder it gets, and provider will need to focus on the other children in care. A smile, cheerful good-bye kiss, and a reassuring word that you will be back are all that is needed in the morning. In years of experience, children are nearly always quick to get involved in play or activities as soon as parents are gone. This is also a time of testing when two different authority figures are present (the parent and the provider). All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back the rules of the daycare (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed. So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times at all times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.
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NiNi.R. 02:47 PM 10-10-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.
I had this problem with a mom. She was my last one to come pick up the kids. It was impossible to ever have them ready and have them tidy up before they went home. I started asking her to call or text when she was on her way so I could have them clean up and be ready to go. She agreed and has followed through and it makes it so much easier.
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Christian Mother 02:47 PM 10-10-2011
You should read my post about my dcd who was always liked to hang out around my house whether it was outside or in. Didn't matter and sometimes he was even taking a long call. It got pretty bad. Like you I allowed it for a time bc I like to discuss the childs day or anything that needs to be discussed...which then turns in to a full chat session.

It all came to a head however; when this parent took it upon him self to start disciplining the children and even my oldest. That is when I knew that dcd was here way past pick up time. No one disciplines my littles but me. Well, when he is here he can take charge of his little. But when you read you'll notice dad did not have a back bone to stop his sons tantrums on leaving. I would have to step in and discipline...which is something I don't like to do. Needless to say, I told dcd that no more hanging out. Pick up's need to be quick..and you can bet he was not happy about it. But you have to be firm otherwise the parents won't respect your rules and if they don't then you'll end up having to do what i did..which is term.
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cheerfuldom 06:41 PM 10-10-2011
If you are prepared to shut the whole daycare down in two months anyway, why not get super firm on everything and quit messing around. Let the parent know that your new policy is that parents and child must have a quick pickup within 5 minutes. If she can't follow your policy changes, why not just let her go and find someone else who can? especially since all this craziness is making you feel that you might close the daycare anyway? don't apologize or explain. just tell her exactly what you expect. give one firm warning that you will have to consider letting her go if she cannot respect the new changes and then let her go if she really can't. you let all this happen so its up to you to make the change. i would never let a parent hang out for 30 minutes a day.
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wdmmom 07:03 PM 10-10-2011
I meet parents at the door with their child ready to go. I also don't allow parents beyond my entry way. This way if a parent wants to chat, I use the excuse of "I need to get the others ready to go too. Bye Johnny. I'll see you tomorrow!"

Or

Once my attention is diverted, I have 1 kid that likes to jump around or toss toys or run. That's my que. "Uh oh. Looks like I'm needed! See you all tomorrow! Have a great night!" and be prepared to use your body weight and your hand on the door as a que that you don't have time for it.

If it's your last kid...have your car outside and your purse on your shoulder. Works every time!
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nannyde 04:06 AM 10-11-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
I have one DCM that always does it but each one has done it at soem time or another.

At first I didn't mind it...I kinda liked the adult conversation. We NEVER talk about personal issues or other people...just a lot about 'the weather' type stuff or her own children. She is a great daycare parent and I don't want to offend her but I am SOOOOO over her staying for 30 minutes EACH day!!

As we all know the kids act up when others are around and it can also interfere if we are doing an activity.

I KNOW Nannyde would NEVER allow this....so Nanny will just a genteral letter home reviewing this policy and a few others that are beign broken...be enough to make this Mom stop.

I am thinking about closign in December but have decide to give the next two months my everythign and put ALL my policies back in place and get rid of a few things that have been stressing me out to make sure I am still ready to walk aways.

How have any of you addressed the parent that 'hangs out'?
I would never allow it.

I would just tell her that you are having many clients staying for long periods at drop off and pick ups. Tell you that you have been adding it up and you are spending over two hours a day JUST doing arrivals and departures. You need to get that down to a half hour TOTAL for all arrivals and departures. You are getting behind in your non child care related tasks and having to do them on famly time. You need to get each arrival and departure down to a couple of minutes each day so that you can get non direct care tasks done so you don't have to do them on your personal time.

I would also include that if we can't get the arrivals and departures shortened you will have to raise rates substantially to cover your time when you are off work.

Do it in a letter to everyone or just her.
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nannyde 04:08 AM 10-11-2011
A parent staying that long is purposely trying to stall when they have to get the kid on their clock or get their family life on their clock.

If I have a dwadler I use the phrase "scoot".

Time for me to scoot.. got to make a call.

Time for you to scoot... get your evening started.

Scoot is a nice way to say it.
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laundrymom 05:22 AM 10-11-2011
I like the term scoot. I have two families. Dads pick up. They try to chat and I understand why, one chats with me and his wife gets off 40 min after he picks up. He hates going home to an empty house. I just tell child, George, love ya but kicking you and dad out. I have to get the evening going so I can relax after supper tonight. And I open the door.
The other man works in an office of 7 women. He chats with my dh. I tell him, Sam, you can have a playdate with dh another time. It's family time. See you tomorrow Jonah. Take daddy home. I then open the door.
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momma2girls 10:05 AM 10-11-2011
Originally Posted by bice99:
Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...
THis is what I do, and it couldn't work better!!
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daycare 01:51 PM 10-11-2011
Lucky for me I have very demanding children of my own. my kids are always trying to get my attention. So when a parent comes I have the kid pretty much ready to go. The parents stay on my foyer, because I have a no shoe on the carpet policy..... I bring the kid over and say ok see you tomorrow I have to get back to attending to the other kids. and I walk away.

If it is the last child of the day, I will say ok well I have to go help XX with their homework now, see ya tomorrow and walk away.

If I feel like they need to tell me something, I still walk away. i have email and a phone, they can call or email me when needed.

once you give in, you make it Acceptable for them to keep doing it.....
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Cat Herder 06:11 AM 10-12-2011
IMHO, There is no reason this should be happening at all.

No Adult Care during Child Care hours.

Parents can schedule a conference, email, text or give me a call from 1-3pm, Monday-Friday.

If I need to tell them something I ALSO schedule a conference, email, text or give them a call when it does not interfere with their job requirements (this information is filled out by them in their enrollment paperwork).

It is a two way street.

Maybe you could have your backup come keep the daycare one day and go hang out at her job all afternoon?

Nah, but honestly, if you are closing in less than 3 months, I don't think it is necessary to make any big changes. I'd just go with Nan's plan. No need to involve other parents.
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cheerfuldom 06:51 AM 10-12-2011
no adult care during child care hours....i love that so much! ha ha!

its crazy what people expect of their provider. they want a friend on top of that too! a paid friend that can't go anywhere and has to watch the kid to boot. what a deal
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momma2girls 07:09 AM 10-12-2011
I used to have a Mom take her shoes off at the door, and come in every single day. Just watch her son, while he ran around the loop around my kitchen, she played games with him. I put an end to this right away, but there were days I couldn't do anything about it, I was busy feeding a baby at the time she came in. Now I usually take him to her, or I make sure he doesn't do it any longer- no shoes past foyer area!!
It has gotten alot better, but once in a while, it will get bad again!!
There are many times if she is not here, I dress everyone and place shoes on everyone, about 10 min. before closing time. If it is nice, we make our way outside- very easy pick up then- have a good night, bye!!!
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MsMe 07:15 AM 10-12-2011
thansk for all the advice ladies!

The main tiem I have the problem is outside play time. hard to have him waiting by the door when she has to come into the backyard to get him, and when he asks for '5 more' minutes she gladly lets him have it. She will count down or ask him to leave many times but he get to be 'boss' and tell his Mom he is still playing.

I have had teh talk during story tiem the past two days that when our Mommies and Daddies come we should give thema big hug and head home. No more playing when Mom and Dad are here.

I haven't gotten a chance to test if it has worked or not bc the sibling has been home sick for two days so DCB has been here untill the minute I close.

Hopefully it will work and once we are insode for winter I can bring him to the door.
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MsMe 07:29 AM 10-19-2011
UPDATE:

Now it is a little colder here and we have been inside for the last week at pick up.

I have been meeting the DCM at the door to the breeze way.
*I forgot to mention I don't ever put shoes and coats on at the end of the day. I have a VERY LARGE mud room at the frount of the house (the size of a a large bedroom) I just meet them at the door to teh kitchen and they take it from there.

She has given me a funny look each day I met her at teh door...and yesterday after she took teh baby from me she actually TOLD the boy to go back in and play awhile.

I followed the boy to the livinging room and directed him back to Mom...."Well see you TOMORROW have a great NIGHT
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dave4him 07:32 AM 10-19-2011
Id itemize the bill for time child is at the daycare showing time includes even when mom is present
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MsMe 07:34 AM 10-19-2011
Originally Posted by dave4him:
Id itemize the bill for time child is at the daycare showing time includes even when mom is present
She pays a weekly fee.
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Cat Herder 07:40 AM 10-19-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
She has given me a funny look each day I met her at teh door...and yesterday after she took teh baby from me she actually TOLD the boy to go back in and play awhile.

I followed the boy to the livinging room and directed him back to Mom...."Well see you TOMORROW have a great NIGHT
This was a test, much like a toddler testing his limits

You passed.

Consistent discipline applies not only to children....

Keep it up.
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nannyde 07:55 AM 10-19-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
She has given me a funny look each day I met her at teh door...and yesterday after she took teh baby from me she actually TOLD the boy to go back in and play awhile.
Ding ding ding

There it is

She wants to have the kids on your clock for as long as possible.

It's pretty sad that a parent has been away from their kids all day long and they don't have a single clue that their kid NEEDS to get out of child care and be with THEM.
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MsMe 08:03 AM 10-19-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Ding ding ding

There it is

She wants to have the kids on your clock for as long as possible.

It's pretty sad that a parent has been away from their kids all day long and they don't have a single clue that their kid NEEDS to get out of child care and be with THEM.
it is more than sad...the words i have for it are a bit stronger
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Unregistered 09:13 AM 10-19-2011
I tell them: Sorry but this is the busiest time of day, see you tomorrow.

One rude lady would shut the door and come back in, I would open it and firmly tell her drop off would be best if she needs a few minutes to talk about her child. That worked because she was always in a hurry to work!
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