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Msdunny 09:02 AM 02-21-2020
I had a mom bring her daughter in today wearing leggings, a white dress with tutu attached, and fuzzy sweatshirt on top, and snow boots. She then told me that this is her birthday dress and to put the girl's sweatshirt back on over the dress when she eats because she doesn't want the dress getting dirty.

I took her immidiately and changed her into some of her backup clothes. Mom said she had to let the girl wear it because she (the 2 year old) wouldn't let her change it, yet I changed her with no issue at all. Mom has done things like this before, telling me the girl wouldn't let her change her clothes. And continues to mention a dress the girl got mac and cheese on once and the stain won't come out.

I have the dress hanging up, ready to send home with mom when she gets here. But I was wondering what you all would have done. Would you have changed her? Take chances on the dress getting dirty? Tell mom to take her and change her into something more appropriate for the weather? (I don't take the kids out in the snow to play, but mom doesn't know that)
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Cat Herder 09:17 AM 02-21-2020
"If you don't want it to get dirty, do not bring it here. Today is the last time I will do this for you."

If she throws a fit: "Ok, so we can call today her last day, then?" If so, just dump her cubby contents into a plastic bag, print off a W-10 and be done with it.
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e.j. 09:33 AM 02-21-2020
I probably would have changed her, too, but a lot would depend on how often the parent pulled that baloney. I might have told dcm that I would try to have her dd keep her dress clean but couldn't guarantee anything. Kids can be messy. There's a reason I tell parents to dress the kids in clothing that can be "put at risk".
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Ariana 09:39 AM 02-21-2020
My response would have been “next time it is probably best not to put her in her good clothes as I don’t have time to get sweatshirts and things out of bags, I have a lot going on at lunch time. If it gets dirty soaking it overnight should help”.

Then I would ignore mom and let her get the dress dirty to show mom that if she doesn’t want it to get dirty stop sending her in the clothes. It has to be a lesson for the mom or she will continue to demand things of you.

I did this exact thing to a mom who brought her kid is new clothes and was uncomfortable with her getting dirty. It took about a week and she suddenly started showing up in well used clothes ready for play.
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Cat Herder 10:30 AM 02-21-2020
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
Mom has done things like this before, telling me the girl wouldn't let her change her clothes. And continues to mention a dress the girl got mac and cheese on once and the stain won't come out.
The above is the part that just rubs me the wrong way. I would absolutely do a hip check on that one.

Personally, I wash their clothes and send them home in clean things every day. But I don't have to, it is a courtesy.

It is literally in my handbook to not send them in white/pastel clothing or anything they don't want to get stained. It is common knowledge for the entire field, not something I would have ever expected to have to type out.
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Msdunny 10:41 AM 02-21-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
The above is the part that just rubs me the wrong way. I would absolutely do a hip check on that one.

Personally, I wash their clothes and send them home in clean things every day. But I don't have to, it is a courtesy.

It is literally in my handbook to not send them in white/pastel clothing or anything they don't want to get stained. It is common knowledge for the entire field, not something I would have ever expected to have to type out.
I do the same. This one time, the shirt was stained and I didn't realize it. Normally, I would have taken it off at our after lunch diaper change and would have washed it. I finally said something to her a few days ago when she mentioned it again, telling her I have tried other mac and cheese brands but the kids wouldn't eat them. She did backpedal, saying that maybe she got it on the dress when she fed her. (after telling me maybe a better choice was plain noodles with butter and parmesean) Whatever. Kids clothes get dirty, period. If a mom wants her child to stay clean, she needs to keep her with her at all times.

Looks like I have another handbook update for next year!
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AmyKidsCo 01:09 PM 02-21-2020
My policies state to send them in clothes that can get dirty. In this particular case I would've changed her to extra clothes, sent the clean dress home in a bag, and asked for more extra clothes for Monday.
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Valerie928 09:01 PM 02-22-2020
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
I had a mom bring her daughter in today wearing leggings, a white dress with tutu attached, and fuzzy sweatshirt on top, and snow boots. She then told me that this is her birthday dress and to put the girl's sweatshirt back on over the dress when she eats because she doesn't want the dress getting dirty.

I took her immidiately and changed her into some of her backup clothes. Mom said she had to let the girl wear it because she (the 2 year old) wouldn't let her change it, yet I changed her with no issue at all. Mom has done things like this before, telling me the girl wouldn't let her change her clothes. And continues to mention a dress the girl got mac and cheese on once and the stain won't come out.

I have the dress hanging up, ready to send home with mom when she gets here. But I was wondering what you all would have done. Would you have changed her? Take chances on the dress getting dirty? Tell mom to take her and change her into something more appropriate for the weather? (I don't take the kids out in the snow to play, but mom doesn't know that)
I would have done EXACTLY the same thing you dif👍
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Tags:clothing - issues, parents - don't cooperate
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