Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Provider Fatigue
Annalee 09:42 AM 12-10-2020
Had a text from a provider this morning with a question...so I called her to clarify her question. While I was giving her info, she started crying uncontrollably.... I said "xxxx, are you ok"....she said..."no, I'm just so over this year....". She has only been in business a couple years, but I assured her that her feelings were normal and even us old-timers were dealing with provider-fatigue as well due to crazy issues this year.

Point being....it's hard to hang on. I think I have said before on this board that daycare has always been something i could control amidst this crazy life, but this year has so many variables, some of us are barely hanging on. There are those in so much worse shape.....I felt guilty after I got off the phone as I do have a large family, most are healthy, I do have vacation coming up (she doesn't, still new in the business), I do have many, many blessings.

Just needed to get this out!
Reply
284878 09:53 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Had a text from a provider this morning with a question...so I called her to clarify her question. While I was giving her info, she started crying uncontrollably.... I said "xxxx, are you ok"....she said..."no, I'm just so over this year....". She has only been in business a couple years, but I assured her that her feelings were normal and even us old-timers were dealing with provider-fatigue as well due to crazy issues this year.

Point being....it's hard to hang on. I think I have said before on this board that daycare has always been something i could control amidst this crazy life, but this year has so many variables, some of us are barely hanging on. There are those in so much worse shape.....I felt guilty after I got off the phone as I do have a large family, most are healthy, I do have vacation coming up (she doesn't, still new in the business), I do have many, many blessings.

Just needed to get this out!
Yep, I got it. I missed my vacation during the spring lockdown. There was no point keeping the time off when we could not go anywhere.

So when my next planned break rolled around, it was so overdue that I had to take another one the next month and the following, I took a long weekend.

Honestly, If I did not love my T/Th family, I would have just quit.
Reply
Unregistered 10:34 AM 12-10-2020
Logged out for privacy.

I so feel this!

I also feel like this time of year is harder for me. For some reason, I feel like parents are more difficult to deal with, the kids are more difficult, I have very little patience, etc.

For me, I think this pandemic has shown (even more) which parents appreciate and respect us, and which ones don't. I've learned over the years I've been doing daycare, that the majority of parents don't care about their providers or how anything affects them - it's all about the parents and how inconvenient things are for THEM, and how can we help THEM.

I had a dcm slip up last week and say that her oldest child had been home from school all week because of a fever, a place where another dcm works had 5 positive cases and she never told me, etc. It's been so frustrating for me and I'm just over it.

The daycare world is hard in general IMO. It's a very unappreciative and thankless job.

Counting down the days to Christmas break.
Reply
Annalee 10:36 AM 12-10-2020
to everyone!

I have found myself at times 'wanting to cry out of nowhere' or 'laugh uncontrollably' or even 'angry and unkind to those around me'. My church friend told me that was 'depression' which, if anyone knew me, would know I'm usually the one saying "pick it up, and let's move on and quit whining"....but this year has pushed my limits.
Reply
Cat Herder 10:52 AM 12-10-2020
I have been self-medicating with carbs.

So.

Many.

Carbs.
Reply
Gemma 10:56 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Had a text from a provider this morning with a question...so I called her to clarify her question. While I was giving her info, she started crying uncontrollably.... I said "xxxx, are you ok"....she said..."no, I'm just so over this year....". She has only been in business a couple years, but I assured her that her feelings were normal and even us old-timers were dealing with provider-fatigue as well due to crazy issues this year.

Point being....it's hard to hang on. I think I have said before on this board that daycare has always been something i could control amidst this crazy life, but this year has so many variables, some of us are barely hanging on. There are those in so much worse shape.....I felt guilty after I got off the phone as I do have a large family, most are healthy, I do have vacation coming up (she doesn't, still new in the business), I do have many, many blessings.

Just needed to get this out!
I find it so uplifting whenever I read notes of gratitude, I wish we had a "Gratitude Thread"
As for your friend, does she know about this board? I know I would not have lasted this long if it wasn't for the knowledge and support I received over time, on this Forum
Reply
Annalee 10:57 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have been self-medicating with carbs.

So.

Many.

Carbs.
Me, too! Weigh more now than I EVER HAVE. I stayed at 125 for years....now pushing 140....well 139 but who's couting...
Reply
Cat Herder 11:06 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Me, too! Weigh more now than I EVER HAVE. I stayed at 125 for years....now pushing 140....well 139 but who's couting...


Same. 140. The weight I was when I gave birth. I have got to do something about it, but I just don't want to.

I go for insurance labs in February. I have to get off my rear and put down the garlic bread. It is out of control. 125 is where my doc wants me, and is usually pretty easy for me, but not this year.
Reply
Annalee 11:07 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:


Same. 140. The weight I was when I gave birth. I have got to do something about it, but I just don't want to.

I go for insurance labs in February. I have to get off my rear and put down the garlic bread. It is out of control. 125 is where my doc wants me, and is usually pretty easy for me, but not this year.
Hang in there
Reply
Cat Herder 11:24 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Hang in there
I will. Thanks! I've pulled the stupid recumbent bike and meal replacement shakes back out for use during naptimes (my worst binging).

My husband rolled his eyes because he knows what that means. He will also be back up at 430 am to go to the track with me in the mornings, again. We got out of the habit after the power outages and storm flooding. He has been complaining because he matched me two to one in weight gain this year.

We will get it back on track, together.
Reply
Annalee 11:33 AM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I will. Thanks! I've pulled the stupid recumbent bike and meal replacement shakes back out for use during naptimes (my worst binging).

My husband rolled his eyes because he knows what that means. He will also be back up at 430 am to go to the track with me in the mornings, again. We got out of the habit after the power outages and storm flooding. He has been complaining because he matched me two to one in weight gain this year.

We will get it back on track, together.
I like to walk outside. I have a treadmill inside but nothing like clearing the head outside BUT I've been doing neither
Reply
Blackcat31 12:28 PM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have been self-medicating with carbs.

So.

Many.

Carbs.
I am laughing out loud at this ......as I fill my face with cheesy risotto and spiced apple pork tenderloin
Reply
Cat Herder 12:35 PM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am laughing out loud at this ......as I fill my face with cheesy risotto and spiced apple pork tenderloin
I say it is a healthy coping strategy. I know I am wrong, but that is what I am going with this year, so far.
Reply
Annalee 12:38 PM 12-10-2020
There's a great steak place in town and when we get carry out, I tell them to give me half loaf of their baked bread with all that good butter they put on it.....they know me as the bread lady now!
Reply
Valerie928 12:52 PM 12-10-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have been self-medicating with carbs.

So.

Many.

Carbs.
Same here. Not only self medicating but possible overdoses have occurred. I've put on 10 pounds. But, there's always time to look ahead to the new year and make diet and exercise my resolution.
Reply
flying_babyb 05:00 PM 12-10-2020
so much soda!! i am totally self medicating with caffeine! I find myself feeling extra grumpy with the kids too. been trying to spend alot of time outside
Reply
Joyfulnoise 05:07 AM 12-11-2020
Mine is oreos! I have a back up pantry in the mud room by my back door. I used to store the oreos in my kitchen, but now I keep them in the mud room. Every time I get overwhelmed I run to the mud room to get something we "need" & come back with a mouthful of oreos. I know it's not healthy, but it sure does make remote learning with 5 children more doable. 😁
Reply
Annalee 05:33 AM 12-11-2020
Any kind of coffee drinks are my friend always but especially now!
Reply
Blackcat31 06:57 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
to everyone!

I have found myself at times 'wanting to cry out of nowhere' or 'laugh uncontrollably' or even 'angry and unkind to those around me'. My church friend told me that was 'depression' which, if anyone knew me, would know I'm usually the one saying "pick it up, and let's move on and quit whining"....but this year has pushed my limits.
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Any kind of coffee drinks are my friend always but especially now!
Its frightening how much we have in common.

I coffee. Coffee anything! Although I am not a fan of Starbucks or Caribou (I don't know if everyone has Caribou or not but it's just another version of Starbucks)

I drink coffee ALL day long!

I am also the one telling everyone else, things will be okay...I wake up with a smile on my face and am ready to go! But this year I have been like a see-saw toggling between hysterically laughing and fighting off wanting to curl up and cry. My cat think's I am losing my mind.

I even went and had bloodwork done to see if my hormones or thyroid or something was out of sorts. Turns out everything is fine and it's just me. lol! Oh well...life goes on and this too shall pass.

Late nights (up til 1-2 a.m.) binge watching trashy reality TV and early morning exercise have been my coping methods. I used to just power walk/jog 5 miles M-W-F's on the treadmill but DH went and got a Peleton bike so now I am riding 10+ miles T-Th-Sat on that now too. I take Sundays off.

I got an Apple watch and downloaded a fitness app that pairs via bluetooth to both the treadmill and the bike so I can take virtual fitness classes online. It's really fun and a great stress reliever at the same time. It challenges me and makes me want to get up (4:30 am) every day and work out.

I feel like December is just flying by and I have so many things on my plate but then I look ahead to Jan, Feb and March and feel like it's just one long blur of nothing. No holidays, no breaks/vacations, no plans, no nothing. Just work, work, work. It's cold, dark and dreary those 3 months so it's prime time for winter woe to set in.

Hoping that time flies by too or at the very least I am still able to find things to occupy me.

Hang in there ladies.... we will get through this!!
Reply
Cat Herder 08:06 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I feel like December is just flying by and I have so many things on my plate but then I look ahead to Jan, Feb and March and feel like it's just one long blur of nothing. No holidays, no breaks/vacations, no plans, no nothing. Just work, work, work. It's cold, dark and dreary those 3 months so it's prime time for winter woe to set in.
I have two three-day weekends in both January (New Years/Paid, MLK Day/Paid) and February (Personal/Unpaid, Presidents Day/Paid), then a four-day weekend in March (Personal/Unpaid). Instead of staying home for those weekends, like we have done most of the year, we are renting a cabin with a heated indoor pool/hot tub and a huge fireplace. We needed something to look forward to so we created it.

Are you not taking Federal holidays this year?
Reply
Annalee 08:06 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Its frightening how much we have in common.

I coffee. Coffee anything! Although I am not a fan of Starbucks or Caribou (I don't know if everyone has Caribou or not but it's just another version of Starbucks)

I drink coffee ALL day long!

I am also the one telling everyone else, things will be okay...I wake up with a smile on my face and am ready to go! But this year I have been like a see-saw toggling between hysterically laughing and fighting off wanting to curl up and cry. My cat think's I am losing my mind.

I even went and had bloodwork done to see if my hormones or thyroid or something was out of sorts. Turns out everything is fine and it's just me. lol! Oh well...life goes on and this too shall pass.

Late nights (up til 1-2 a.m.) binge watching trashy reality TV and early morning exercise have been my coping methods. I used to just power walk/jog 5 miles M-W-F's on the treadmill but DH went and got a Peleton bike so now I am riding 10+ miles T-Th-Sat on that now too. I take Sundays off.

I got an Apple watch and downloaded a fitness app that pairs via bluetooth to both the treadmill and the bike so I can take virtual fitness classes online. It's really fun and a great stress reliever at the same time. It challenges me and makes me want to get up (4:30 am) every day and work out.

I feel like December is just flying by and I have so many things on my plate but then I look ahead to Jan, Feb and March and feel like it's just one long blur of nothing. No holidays, no breaks/vacations, no plans, no nothing. Just work, work, work. It's cold, dark and dreary those 3 months so it's prime time for winter woe to set in.

Hoping that time flies by too or at the very least I am still able to find things to occupy me.

Hang in there ladies.... we will get through this!!

Reply
dolores 08:23 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Had a text from a provider this morning with a question...so I called her to clarify her question. While I was giving her info, she started crying uncontrollably.... I said "xxxx, are you ok"....she said..."no, I'm just so over this year....". She has only been in business a couple years, but I assured her that her feelings were normal and even us old-timers were dealing with provider-fatigue as well due to crazy issues this year.

Point being....it's hard to hang on. I think I have said before on this board that daycare has always been something i could control amidst this crazy life, but this year has so many variables, some of us are barely hanging on. There are those in so much worse shape.....I felt guilty after I got off the phone as I do have a large family, most are healthy, I do have vacation coming up (she doesn't, still new in the business), I do have many, many blessings.

Just needed to get this out!
Several weeks ago I saw my doctor for an annual checkup and she asked me if I was anxious about anything...isn't everybody!? Well, the waterworks sprang out of nowhere. Caught me off-guard and made me realize that I have been internalizing it all and there was a build up so the damn broke. It was embarrassing . Felt much better after though, even a little energized to carry on.
Reply
Blackcat31 09:37 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have two three-day weekends in both January (New Years/Paid, MLK Day/Paid) and February (Personal/Unpaid, Presidents Day/Paid), then a four-day weekend in March (Personal/Unpaid). Instead of staying home for those weekends, like we have done most of the year, we are renting a cabin with a heated indoor pool/hot tub and a huge fireplace. We needed something to look forward to so we created it.

Are you not taking Federal holidays this year?
I take some of the holidays but in Jan, Feb and March there are none I planned off. The kids still have school on MLK day as well as presidents day. My next scheduled day off is Easter (April).

I do schedule a day here/there if I need it so we'll see how it plays out. It always depends on what parents are like kwim?

I took an extra long Christmas vacation because so far not one time since Sept has a parent that has had a day off, actually kept their child home. Of course, they all claim exhaustion due to distance learning, COVID and the extra work loads they are experiencing at work. Not even recognizing the fact that I too am experiencing similar "over-load".

So rather than be disappointed in their choices, I will just do what I NEED to do and take time off. Originally I had only planned to take two 4 day weekends and work a few days in between Christmas and New Years. I have since changed my mind.
Reply
Annalee 09:41 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have two three-day weekends in both January (New Years/Paid, MLK Day/Paid) and February (Personal/Unpaid, Presidents Day/Paid), then a four-day weekend in March (Personal/Unpaid). Instead of staying home for those weekends, like we have done most of the year, we are renting a cabin with a heated indoor pool/hot tub and a huge fireplace. We needed something to look forward to so we created it.

Are you not taking Federal holidays this year?
Oh yes, I take the school schedule which has the Federal holidays! Those Monday holidays are the best-feeling ever...
Reply
Cat Herder 09:46 AM 12-11-2020
This Summer was the worst for me. Not one day off in June, July or August. The 4th fell on a Saturday. Only 1 day off in September (Labor Day). I am so glad to be through that.
Reply
Annalee 10:18 AM 12-11-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
This Summer was the worst for me. Not one day off in June, July or August. The 4th fell on a Saturday. Only 1 day off in September (Labor Day). I am so glad to be through that.
I had plenty of days off but 6 weeks of it was for quarantine and that don't count; just drives you nuts
Reply
Ariana 04:34 PM 12-13-2020
Hugs to everyone

Annalee I think this woman was SO lucky to have poured her soul out to you! Your response was perfect and compassionate and many people might have made her feel like a leper . We have all been there as you know but this year has been tough for everyone.

As hilarious as it is my health issues are keeping me from binging on ANYTHING and I have lost weight!
Reply
Tags:burn out, burned out, burnout, burnt out, chaos, fear, noise stress, stress, thankful
Reply Up