I work as a center director. The last few months have been hard and I have seriously been considering leaving my job. I have 18 staff members. One gives me the most trouble. She seems to think that she can yell at me, say or do anything she pleases. This one staff member makes each and every one of my days harder. The logical thing to do would be to replace this staff member. However, the owners of my facility do not fire people. They wouldn't let someone go unless they have enough cause so they don't have to pay unemployment. And for some reason everything this staff member tells the owners they take as gold and everything is my fault. They believe that it is my job first to have the staff like me and be happy and then they will respect me. Yeah, that will work. Anyway, I am learning how to handle the abuse so that's not really the issue, I am just trying to share my state of mind for the last few months.

The issue I am having happened this morning and I am wondering if I am over reacting. We recently had a sibling of an infant, who does not attend our center, come down with Hand, Foot and Mouth and we had to inform all of our parents about the possible outbreak. In turn we sent one child home with an unexplained rash. Well I dropped my 1 year old daughter off in the infant room at 9:00 am. At 10 am I get a call from the lead teacher asking me to come check out a rash my daughter had. I hurried into the room and found my daughter playing on the floor with no pants on because of a red mark on her back that she always has because of her eczema. Anyway I found out that the teacher who saw the mark refused to change and dress my daughter and just left her on the floor. I am so upset by the way my daughter was treated that I want to pull her from the center and in turn leave my position because I would never work in a center that my children could not attend. I am just not sure if I am reacting to the situation or using this as an excuse because of the stress I have been under. I feel that I can't speak to the staff member as the director so I would have to have my assistant do it but I also feel there is nothing I can do about it anyway. Should I leave my job and stay home with my baby?

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No! You are in a position of authority, and you need to use it! That teacher needs to be written up for leaving your daughter like that, or at least spoken to about wearing gloves while changing a child and educated on what to look for with hfm. I would suggest moving your problem employee to another classroom- get creative with the reasoning, and put her in a position where she might think about getting a new job OR what you really need to do is have a very professional sit down with the owners about your concerns about this employee- I have never heard of a teacher talking back to a director and still keeping their job. This teacher doesn't need to like you, but she needs to respect your position. If your owners want to keep you as director, they need to back you up. I know, easier said than done

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Well I think if you don't believe the children are being properly treated, you should report it. I also wouldn't want my name tied to a place that puts employees over the proper care of children. From your story, it is hard to know how the kids are really being treated by the caregiver in question, but it sounds as though it is an issue. If I could find another job or start a center myself, I would consider it.

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The other teachers in that room are wonderful. I guess my problem is that I don't have the support from the owners to make the changes. She hasn't had an issue with any other children but I feel that to treat any child this way is cause to be written up but I can't do it because it is my child. I can have my assistant write her up and I will unless I am overacting because it is my child and I am not seeing the bigger picture.

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Well your child or not, if a child needed care and didn't get it, then that deserves a write up.

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As a former director who made the terrible mistake of being everyone's friend before I was their boss, you need to put your foot down. The next time she raises her voice to you or is disrespectful, suspend her on the spot. Just send her home for the rest of the day. If she comes back tomorrow with a p!ssy attitude, send her home again. Rinse, repeat, everyday until she figures out that you run the show.

If the owners contradict you and don't allow you to send her home, turn in your notice. Tell them you are useless as a director if they won't allow you to actually do your duties as a director. And be done with the place.

For the employee in the nursery, talk to her just like you would if it wasn't your child. I had my own child in my center also and I always worried the staff would think I was being harder on them because the issue involved my own child. But I had to come to the point where I just didn't care what they thought. I knew it wasn't because my own child was involved and that's all that mattered. She needs to be brought into the office and have a formal conversation ending with a written reprimand.

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No she was treating a child, yours or not, like she was a leper. You aren't overacting.

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Do not turn in your notice. You said they won't fire anyone so... start being the boss you think the daycare needs. I would do exactly like the others said and send her home every time she yells or blatantly disobeys you. If she's not willing to respectfully work within your rules then she's not prepared to work that day and can try again tomorrow. Document every incident. With proper documentation, your employer can fight paying unemployment if she ends up being fired. You need good documentation that shows she refuses to do her job.

If they won't fire anyone then they won't fire you. And if they do... collect your unemployment with a smile on your face as you spend your days being a SAHM

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Perfection

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I think that training is needed for all employees. THEY won't get HFM but they could possibly spread it. Also sounds like you also need to make whoever cares for the children in your child's room aware about the eczema. Just like a regular client, you should provide a doctor's note.

This is going to sound terrible however I've worked in retail for many years before I did daycare and this is how retailers handle "problem" employees that they can't fire ... this only works if you are the one that makes the schedule, I think you know where this is going ...

The next time that she is disrespectful, write her up and send her home for the day like the others have mentioned. If this causes a problem with ratios hire another employee ... tell the owners that you need an extra body to be a filler or whatever. Then whenever she gives you a problem, short her some hours. I know, I know. Sounds horrible right? But really, if you're not performing then why give you the hours?

So if she's FT shorten her hours by 5 hours a week etc. If there is improvement give them back, if things don't change keep the hours the same, if things get worse take 5 more. This is literally a strategy that retailers and businesses use. Take away so many hours and give them funky schedules (Mon: 8am-12pm, Tues: 1-5pm, Fri: 8am-5pm etc). Either you get them out of your hair long enough to actually have enough time to enjoy yourself at work or they get tired of the schedule and small paychecks and quit to go somewhere else.

NOTE: I have never actually done this to someone, I just know this is normal in retail in my area. I worked with a guy once that they gave 5 hours a week to and it was never the same day or same time frame. Always a different day and different start/end times. To their credit, this guy was 22 yrs old and hired to gather shopping carts and to load merchandise into people's cars and would regularly disappear for large amounts of time, was caught sleeping in his car in the parking lot twice and was constantly late.

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Thank you for the advice. The director before me used to make life miserable for employees who were causing problems, cut hours, harder classes, cleaning duty, so on so on, and as a regular employee I always thought it was real low of her as a person to do that to someone so they would quit but now I get it. I am not sure if I can do that to someone or not but I know my day would be a lot smoother without a few of my staff. As for the teacher who interacted with my daughter, I wrote her up for violation of a child's personal rights but I am still fuming. At least it is Friday.

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I HAVE done this to employees who refuse to do their jobs respectfully. I'm all for employees pitching in ways to do things better, but for those who can't help but refuse to do their job without complaining I never hesitated to discipline them. If they kept up with the poor behavior then I would progress the discipline in a way that made it hurt... money is the number one driving force of employees. You mess with their money then they can either reassess their job performance or find somewhere else to raise hell.

I have no regrets. In this economy, there are MANY people who would LOVE any job let alone a job in child care.

I've given this advice before and I'll give it again... CONSTANTLY advertise that you have an open position. Your main goal should be to have the best of the best for what you're paying in salary. There will ALWAYS be someone better out there who would bust their backs to do an awesome job. Those are the people you want. So you need to always have your feelers out. Collect resumes until you find the perfect staff.

ETA: by constantly accepting new resumes, your current employees will realize that their job is not infinite.

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There needs to be consequences for her poor behavior or it will continue. Pretty similar to how we care for children because it is generally how life works. She is being taught right now that she can behave as poorly as she wishes and nothing happens. If termination is not an option then find her currency, and use it as best you can. Performance reviews? Best and most hours given to those working hard and giving a team effort. Have hours scaled back until she learns to toe the line. I'd start with a polite, but professionally blunt chat about attitude needing to change, and then from there hand out whatever consequences needed to get her to shape up or quit.

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This is exactly what I was thinking!

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I see you are in a position of authority and a personal matter now regarding not just you but your own kin has troubled you. First handle it yourself, Second discuss it with the owner. If it does not go in your favor still, I would put in my two weeks and move on. It is not worth the damage to your beliefs and your child. Your professional ethical decision making is being undermined by an owner. Don't forget to report. Put the owner out there and make them be the director and see what happens.

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Exactly

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If your boss does not do their job of supporting you, they are not doing their job. In turn you can't do your job. If she is treating your child differently because it is your child, she is discriminating and that could lead to neglect and abuse, therefore shutting your program down. You need to write her up for her verbal attacks and neglecting a child, regardless of who the parents are. She needs to be reprimanded and corrective action taken, like she needs to be shadowed or create a plan of corrective action that includes protocols for such issues.

A side note, your bosses are focusing on the wrong thing by keeping her employed! The cost of unemployment expenses is a cost of doing business, get over it and protect your customers and their children. With unemployment they wouldn't necessarily have to pay if they have been in business enough and don't have many layoffs/firings. If they let her go, they aren't guaranteed to have to pay anything, there is an equation that comes into play based on what they pay into the system to begin with.

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Like the saying goes....."one bad apple spoils the bunch".
You've got a bad apple in your bunch.
If this employee is talking back to you in front of others as well, it's got to be stopped before a reputation is started about the center and you.
This unfortunately comes back to reflect on you as the director, and if I saw this occurring where I brought my child, I would wonder if this teacher is acting this way to the children.
I'd definitely talk to the owner with my compiled incidents and concerns. I'm sure the owner understands good business practices, and would rather let an employee go, than risk their business reputation.

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If she left your child (the directers child)like that what does she do with another child. I think you should do exactly what others have said .I would have a meeting explain new policy.No talking back treating the Directer with respect and caring for all children approptiately.Tell her what the consequences of her actions will be .Write it up give her a copy and have her sign a copy for you.Then follow through send home if needed.Good luck.

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