I have a dck who has been with me since the age of 18 months and now is 3. The family went out of the country for a few months and just returned.

The child just had 3rd bday yesterday. Before leaving the child had some issues, not sleeping at night, no naps waking up early, average about 8 hours of sleep each day. Therefore resulted in one cranky kid. Child is VERY strong willed in every way which is good and bad. Good for learning bad for behavior.

I have asked the parents to put the child to bed earlier, however, the insist that they need to eat as a family and dcd does not return from the job until about 8-830pm each night. So they don't even eat dinner until that time, bed normally starts around 10pm. However, DCM says after all the fighting, the child normally falls asleep around midnight often much later. Child wakes at 7am roughly each day.


The child has become very aggressive, parents said at home too. In fact all that I am about to list the parents have also noticed.

child will:
twist hair and tangle into huge knots close to scalp, dcm had to cut hair 2x already

pick skin of lips

bite finger nails

rub the end of shirt and twist in ball

regressed with PTing was PT before they left out of country and now back in pull up

peel dry skin off of finger nails

scrape her nails against her teeth

suck on fingers through out the day

will not play with other children, wants everything to self

if other children try to play with them, child will hurt the other child

Currently dck is part time because I don't have a FT opening. DCM really wants child to come FT, but is taking what they can get now.

I don't know what to do with this child and I have never had a child do ALL of these things before. To me it sounds like some kind of anxiety and this is their way of coping with it.

What do you ladies think? HOw can I help this child? I feel horrible that I don't know how to help them.

their sibling is also here and is nothing like this at all.....

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Sounds like there is a need for assessment.
I would start with the ASQ-3 and ASQ-SE with the parents and then see if there is a need for referral.
I would also start offering multiple sensory based experiences and encourage parents to do the same.

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hey you....thanks so much

I actually had all of those done before child leaving....
Passed with flying colors......child is super smart....

do you think that the massive transition could be the issue?

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Could be. I'd reassess. I'd have the parent complete it, and I would also complete it. Some ties parents will answer based on what they WANT the result to be, rather than what is actually the truth.

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yes i see that quite often when I have them do it at home as well. I do tell the parents this is what you see at home, but this is what we see here.

Thanks for the advice, I feel so bad for this little one. It's been a really hard 3 weeks since the child returned.

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I had a similar dck that did some of these thing but would actually pull own hair out, pick and peel cuticles, make holes in clothes, constantly have whole hand in mouth when not actively doing something, bang head on the ground/wall when upset, etc. When dck came to me at 18 months was getting speech and sensory therapy but behavior was not obvious until after 2nd birthday. Unfortunately after a few months with me he tested out. Parents were kept informed about his increased behavior issues. Had a a meeting with parents and referred them to go back to get a reassessment. They were told he was exhibiting typical age behaviors, dck was almost 3. So parents didn't think it was a problem. Too me it was not typical behavior for this age, and I have worked in this field for over 12 years in a center and other capacities with children with special needs from speech, sensory, various autism spectrum from very mild functioning to very severe that needed a one on one trainer. I needed up terming because parents felt there was no problem since the other "experts" felt is was not a problem and was not helping with the behaviors. Now I have the sibling and is now starting to exhibit a few of the behaviors, but I think it is from imitating the older sibling and no correction of appropriate behavior from the parents. Hope you have better results with your dck.

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I know it isn't ideal, but could you have the child have a morning rest time? Maybe some additional rest would help, although with a child so sleep deprived and used to being so it is a toss up if rest would help.

When the child arrives, maybe do a quick run through of the day ending with Mom or Dad coming to take you and sibling home. Perhaps the reassurance of a schedule and knowing what events will happen and when might help, if the child is struggling with anxiety.

I'm sure it is hard to see the child struggle and not know how to help them. Hopefully the child is just responding to the stress of so many changes. The behaviors do seem extreme, especially since there are so many of them.

Also, not sure if there is something (I'm thinking like a stress reliever ball...but for kids,pick-proof) that the child could manipulate. I have no clue what to suggest, but perhaps if the child was busy with a sensory item they wouldn't pick at themselves. Maybe even a soft or silky square of cloth.

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Occupational therapy and sensory profile would be helpful here

I worked a lot with anxiety in the past and I have it too, lot of explaining, lot of coaching kids, back rubs at nap, making them feel appreciated, giving them something to chew on that is acceptable (they sell them online looks like a T cant think of name of it but works for kids without autism that have a high sensory chewing need).

Occupational therapy can prescribe sensory diet that is helpful and calming for these kinds of kids. Many times they like to be very busy with hands. Try not to get too upset with picking at food, can use it as a form of sensory therapy at meals too.

Some people say that kids need to get there sillies out or crazies out some kids need to get there pickies and chewies out and then they feel better but nothing is wrong with them per se.

I have one here who is smart but yes parents are not on board with assessment so I feel your pain.=)

Try a sensory box too to bring out during circle

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