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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Please Help :)
Unregistered 02:02 PM 04-19-2015
Hey everyone. I am a long time reader, first time poster. I am working in a daycare I don't really like, but I can't find another job. I'm a certified teacher. In short, I'm having issues with a coworker who I don't really work directly with. It's really a case of she feels like she doesn't have to do her job. I'll give you an example, I was using something for an activity and put it in the sink and set to wash it. Something came up and I left. I didn't ask anyone to wash it. She took it upon herself to. Then, she complained about it. She still complains about it to this day. I even say "Have I done that in months?". She gives me a stupid look. She even banned me from "putting things in the sink if you're not going to wash them right away. Also, it wouldn't hurt to wash any thing else that's in there". Which tells me it's ok when others can't wash things right that second. I used to catch her at the end of the day because her hours are different than mine, but she tried pawning all of her work and difficult children on me. Now, I have to deal with her at the end of the day because we all go outside. She claims she can't be alone because her job is to change diapers. My aide stays with her and helps. I don't know why she acts like she is alone. I don't want to change diapers. None of my class are in diapers. My class is older and her class (she is isn't the teacher, but the teacher of that room leaves very early) is young and half have diapers. At the end of outdoor time, we go in and wash hands and hand up things. She wants me to change diapers. I said I couldn't because it was close to my time to leave. She made a huge deal about it. When we're outside, she doesn't help with the doors (someone has to hold them. Me and my aide take turns. We also carry things for the children who can't or are tired and she doesn't), she doesn't reeally watch the students (she stays in one spot), and she often finds a reason to linger outside before coming in (like having very long conversations with parents when she knows she is to be inside due to ratio). I'm thinking of taking the children from my class, having them hang up things, use bathroom, and go back to my class if there's time. Then to the room with the other students. She has my aide to help while I'm doing that. How should I approach this? Just do it? What should I say if I'm asked why. I'm thinking of saying it's just easier. What should I say if she complains to the director?
Blackcat31 02:09 PM 04-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hey everyone. I am a long time reader, first time poster. I am working in a daycare I don't really like, but I can't find another job. I'm a certified teacher. In short, I'm having issues with a coworker who I don't really work directly with. It's really a case of she feels like she doesn't have to do her job. I'll give you an example, I was using something for an activity and put it in the sink and set to wash it. Something came up and I left. I didn't ask anyone to wash it. She took it upon herself to. Then, she complained about it. She still complains about it to this day. I even say "Have I done that in months?". She gives me a stupid look. She even banned me from "putting things in the sink if you're not going to wash them right away. Also, it wouldn't hurt to wash any thing else that's in there". Which tells me it's ok when others can't wash things right that second. I used to catch her at the end of the day because her hours are different than mine, but she tried pawning all of her work and difficult children on me. Now, I have to deal with her at the end of the day because we all go outside. She claims she can't be alone because her job is to change diapers. My aide stays with her and helps. I don't know why she acts like she is alone. I don't want to change diapers. None of my class are in diapers. My class is older and her class (she is isn't the teacher, but the teacher of that room leaves very early) is young and half have diapers. At the end of outdoor time, we go in and wash hands and hand up things. She wants me to change diapers. I said I couldn't because it was close to my time to leave. She made a huge deal about it. When we're outside, she doesn't help with the doors (someone has to hold them. Me and my aide take turns. We also carry things for the children who can't or are tired and she doesn't), she doesn't reeally watch the students (she stays in one spot), and she often finds a reason to linger outside before coming in (like having very long conversations with parents when she knows she is to be inside due to ratio). I'm thinking of taking the children from my class, having them hang up things, use bathroom, and go back to my class if there's time. Then to the room with the other students. She has my aide to help while I'm doing that. How should I approach this? Just do it? What should I say if I'm asked why. I'm thinking of saying it's just easier. What should I say if she complains to the director?
Have you discussed any of this with the director?Hey everyone. I am a long time reader, first time poster. I am working in a daycare I don't really like, but I can't find another job. I'm a certified teacher. In short, I'm having issues with a coworker who I don't really work directly with. It's really a case of she feels like she doesn't have to do her job. I'll give you an example, I was using something for an activity and put it in the sink and set to wash it. Something came up and I left. I didn't ask anyone to wash it. She took it upon herself to. Then, she complained about it. She still complains about it to this day. I even say "Have I done that in months?". She gives me a stupid look. She even banned me from "putting things in the sink if you're not going to wash them right away. Also, it wouldn't hurt to wash any thing else that's in there". Which tells me it's ok when others can't wash things right that second. I used to catch her at the end of the day because her hours are different than mine, but she tried pawning all of her work and difficult children on me. Now, I have to deal with her at the end of the day because we all go outside. She claims she can't be alone because her job is to change diapers. My aide stays with her and helps. I don't know why she acts like she is alone. I don't want to change diapers. None of my class are in diapers. My class is older and her class (she is isn't the teacher, but the teacher of that room leaves very early) is young and half have diapers. At the end of outdoor time, we go in and wash hands and hand up things. She wants me to change diapers. I said I couldn't because it was close to my time to leave. She made a huge deal about it. When we're outside, she doesn't help with the doors (someone has to hold them. Me and my aide take turns. We also carry things for the children who can't or are tired and she doesn't), she doesn't reeally watch the students (she stays in one spot), and she often finds a reason to linger outside before coming in (like having very long conversations with parents when she knows she is to be inside due to ratio). I'm thinking of taking the children from my class, having them hang up things, use bathroom, and go back to my class if there's time. Then to the room with the other students. She has my aide to help while I'm doing that. How should I approach this? Just do it? What should I say if I'm asked why. I'm thinking of saying it's just easier. What should I say if she complains to the director?
Thriftylady 02:09 PM 04-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hey everyone. I am a long time reader, first time poster. I am working in a daycare I don't really like, but I can't find another job. I'm a certified teacher. In short, I'm having issues with a coworker who I don't really work directly with. It's really a case of she feels like she doesn't have to do her job. I'll give you an example, I was using something for an activity and put it in the sink and set to wash it. Something came up and I left. I didn't ask anyone to wash it. She took it upon herself to. Then, she complained about it. She still complains about it to this day. I even say "Have I done that in months?". She gives me a stupid look. She even banned me from "putting things in the sink if you're not going to wash them right away. Also, it wouldn't hurt to wash any thing else that's in there". Which tells me it's ok when others can't wash things right that second. I used to catch her at the end of the day because her hours are different than mine, but she tried pawning all of her work and difficult children on me. Now, I have to deal with her at the end of the day because we all go outside. She claims she can't be alone because her job is to change diapers. My aide stays with her and helps. I don't know why she acts like she is alone. I don't want to change diapers. None of my class are in diapers. My class is older and her class (she is isn't the teacher, but the teacher of that room leaves very early) is young and half have diapers. At the end of outdoor time, we go in and wash hands and hand up things. She wants me to change diapers. I said I couldn't because it was close to my time to leave. She made a huge deal about it. When we're outside, she doesn't help with the doors (someone has to hold them. Me and my aide take turns. We also carry things for the children who can't or are tired and she doesn't), she doesn't reeally watch the students (she stays in one spot), and she often finds a reason to linger outside before coming in (like having very long conversations with parents when she knows she is to be inside due to ratio). I'm thinking of taking the children from my class, having them hang up things, use bathroom, and go back to my class if there's time. Then to the room with the other students. She has my aide to help while I'm doing that. How should I approach this? Just do it? What should I say if I'm asked why. I'm thinking of saying it's just easier. What should I say if she complains to the director?
I would ask for a meeting with my director to discuss your concerns. Your director may want you taking care of your class instead of helping her. I would go into the meeting in a way to ask the director for clarity.Hey everyone. I am a long time reader, first time poster. I am working in a daycare I don't really like, but I can't find another job. I'm a certified teacher. In short, I'm having issues with a coworker who I don't really work directly with. It's really a case of she feels like she doesn't have to do her job. I'll give you an example, I was using something for an activity and put it in the sink and set to wash it. Something came up and I left. I didn't ask anyone to wash it. She took it upon herself to. Then, she complained about it. She still complains about it to this day. I even say "Have I done that in months?". She gives me a stupid look. She even banned me from "putting things in the sink if you're not going to wash them right away. Also, it wouldn't hurt to wash any thing else that's in there". Which tells me it's ok when others can't wash things right that second. I used to catch her at the end of the day because her hours are different than mine, but she tried pawning all of her work and difficult children on me. Now, I have to deal with her at the end of the day because we all go outside. She claims she can't be alone because her job is to change diapers. My aide stays with her and helps. I don't know why she acts like she is alone. I don't want to change diapers. None of my class are in diapers. My class is older and her class (she is isn't the teacher, but the teacher of that room leaves very early) is young and half have diapers. At the end of outdoor time, we go in and wash hands and hand up things. She wants me to change diapers. I said I couldn't because it was close to my time to leave. She made a huge deal about it. When we're outside, she doesn't help with the doors (someone has to hold them. Me and my aide take turns. We also carry things for the children who can't or are tired and she doesn't), she doesn't reeally watch the students (she stays in one spot), and she often finds a reason to linger outside before coming in (like having very long conversations with parents when she knows she is to be inside due to ratio). I'm thinking of taking the children from my class, having them hang up things, use bathroom, and go back to my class if there's time. Then to the room with the other students. She has my aide to help while I'm doing that. How should I approach this? Just do it? What should I say if I'm asked why. I'm thinking of saying it's just easier. What should I say if she complains to the director?
Unregistered 03:00 PM 04-19-2015
I haven't talked to her directly, because I've been able to mostly avoid this coworker. I feel funny to complain now, because something else (not involving me) is going. The director is very stressed. I feel weird to bring this up at this point in time. If a time comes, or coworker brings it up first, should I also mention an incident where a vendor came and was talking to me about information. I asked coworker for it and said very nastily "HOW DARE YOU GIVE THEM THE OWNER'S EMAIL?!". She also called me stupid and at other times said "You don't use your brain". Should I bring this up to show she is hostile to me or is it irrelevant? I just don't know how to word it without coming off as disliking her. I want it to come off as she is unprofessional and rude to myself, staff, children, and parents. Like a parent called for her class she purposely told them to call back when she knew she would be on lunch.
Thriftylady 03:03 PM 04-19-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I haven't talked to her directly, because I've been able to mostly avoid this coworker. I feel funny to complain now, because something else (not involving me) is going. The director is very stressed. I feel weird to bring this up at this point in time. If a time comes, or coworker brings it up first, should I also mention an incident where a vendor came and was talking to me about information. I asked coworker for it and said very nastily "HOW DARE YOU GIVE THEM THE OWNER'S EMAIL?!". She also called me stupid and at other times said "You don't use your brain". Should I bring this up to show she is hostile to me or is it irrelevant? I just don't know how to word it without coming off as disliking her. I want it to come off as she is unprofessional and rude to myself, staff, children, and parents. Like a parent called for her class she purposely told them to call back when she knew she would be on lunch.
You really do need to talk to the director, so things can get sorted out. If you don't, I don't see this job lasting long for you either because she does something for you to loose the job, or you become so miserable that you quit.I haven't talked to her directly, because I've been able to mostly avoid this coworker. I feel funny to complain now, because something else (not involving me) is going. The director is very stressed. I feel weird to bring this up at this point in time. If a time comes, or coworker brings it up first, should I also mention an incident where a vendor came and was talking to me about information. I asked coworker for it and said very nastily "HOW DARE YOU GIVE THEM THE OWNER'S EMAIL?!". She also called me stupid and at other times said "You don't use your brain". Should I bring this up to show she is hostile to me or is it irrelevant? I just don't know how to word it without coming off as disliking her. I want it to come off as she is unprofessional and rude to myself, staff, children, and parents. Like a parent called for her class she purposely told them to call back when she knew she would be on lunch.
pandamom 03:03 PM 04-19-2015
I completely agree with the others. Speak to your director.
I also work in a center. I once had a coworker who had mentally checked out before her family's move back stateside. She was not keeping an eye on children- she had a high number of child accidents happen in front of her but me and other coworkers who were paying attention would catch them. She would throw other coworkers under the bus to parents to avoid any confrontation with them. And any chance she got, she'd be out of the room and be gossiping with her friends.
I ended up speaking to the director about my concerns. They spent some time observing her sat her down for a discussion about what they saw. She did do better before she left.
Hope you're able to get a good resolution
I also work in a center. I once had a coworker who had mentally checked out before her family's move back stateside. She was not keeping an eye on children- she had a high number of child accidents happen in front of her but me and other coworkers who were paying attention would catch them. She would throw other coworkers under the bus to parents to avoid any confrontation with them. And any chance she got, she'd be out of the room and be gossiping with her friends.
I ended up speaking to the director about my concerns. They spent some time observing her sat her down for a discussion about what they saw. She did do better before she left.
Hope you're able to get a good resolution
Unregistered 03:39 PM 04-19-2015
I'm just not sure what to say. I want to be professional. I don't want to come off as "I don't like her and she's mean".
Unregistered 03:55 PM 04-19-2015
Talk to your director with your concerns. Document the situations that are happening including who was present at the time such as other staff and bring them to your meeting with your director. If you just give the facts you will not come off as not liking her. I was a preschool center director before starting my home daycare and had to deal with these types of concerns. It really helped to have things documented so when I went in/walked around to observe I knew what I was looking for. After my observations I would interview staff individually including the person of concern, and from there deal with the situation.
AmyKidsCo 12:06 PM 04-20-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm just not sure what to say. I want to be professional. I don't want to come off as "I don't like her and she's mean".
"I am concerned because..." then list the FACTS as they pertain to the children and the program. The director is more likely to listen to things that affect the children and program. I wouldn't bring up the personal issues because it sounds too much like "She's mean to me."I'm just not sure what to say. I want to be professional. I don't want to come off as "I don't like her and she's mean".
Unregistered 04:13 PM 04-23-2015
I'm back. Thrifty, you're right. She's tried getting me in trouble today. She called the director on me without knowing the whole situation. As I was speaking with her, she wouldn't hear my side and got nasty. I am going to speak to the director tomorrow and I hope I still have a job after Friday. I really need this job. 
Thriftylady 04:39 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm back. Thrifty, you're right. She's tried getting me in trouble today. She called the director on me without knowing the whole situation. As I was speaking with her, she wouldn't hear my side and got nasty. I am going to speak to the director tomorrow and I hope I still have a job after Friday. I really need this job.
Hate to hear this, but it doesn't surprise me. Sometimes people will do anything to make themselves look better, and you have to see those people for what they are and try to protect yourself first.I'm back. Thrifty, you're right. She's tried getting me in trouble today. She called the director on me without knowing the whole situation. As I was speaking with her, she wouldn't hear my side and got nasty. I am going to speak to the director tomorrow and I hope I still have a job after Friday. I really need this job.
Unregistered 04:47 PM 04-23-2015
Well, I have noted a few things. Can anyone tell me if this helps my case? I noted a time she called a special needs student ugly (not those words, but I don't want to id myself). I pointed out the child is aware you are saying something. She said "No, they don't They're too stupid". I also noted how she doesn't help with things (I've specified what) and that sometimes she doesn't come in with us and I feel it makes us out of ratio. I also noted, she doesn't help me. The incident today was I had to ask a parent for help instead of her. I asked because the situation was urgent and I knew wouldn't help me. The parent was in my room. I've also noted other nasty comments she said to students. Does this help? I hope so. I need to pay my bills. Any advice is appreciated. 
Thriftylady 04:51 PM 04-23-2015
It maybe helps, but it would help more if you had said something before, say when you first posted here. Now I am afraid it will look like you are just saying these things in retaliation. Go have a meeting, but be ready to back up what you say. And be aware she will not do these things in front of the director if the director goes in for observation. I wish you had spoken to her when we first urged you to. You are on the defense now that is not the place you want to be.
Unregistered 04:58 PM 04-23-2015
My only ace in the hole so to speak, is I'm the only certified person in the building. I hope things work out, but if not that might buy me time. Thanks for the advice all.
Thriftylady 05:01 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
My only ace in the hole so to speak, is I'm the only certified person in the building. I hope things work out, but if not that might buy me time. Thanks for the advice all.
Yeah well, that may not mean much. I mean if you are the only certified person in the building they may not put much weight on having a certified person. Directors usually are. I hope I am wrong, but regardless I would start looking for a new job. And please, when you are getting advice, take it sooner for your own sake.My only ace in the hole so to speak, is I'm the only certified person in the building. I hope things work out, but if not that might buy me time. Thanks for the advice all.
Unregistered 05:11 PM 04-23-2015
If I do get fired, I will reveal why I didn't go forward ASAP. I can't do to confidentiality as an employee. Something happened (in no way involving me that) that caused a lot of problems for the directors and owner. I felt so petty complaining about a coworker during that.
Thriftylady 05:17 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
If I do get fired, I will reveal why I didn't go forward ASAP. I can't do to confidentiality as an employee. Something happened (in no way involving me that) that caused a lot of problems for the directors and owner. I felt so petty complaining about a coworker during that.
That is why you should have said something. You seem to have so many reasons you didn't, were you one of those reasons? If not you should have right away.If I do get fired, I will reveal why I didn't go forward ASAP. I can't do to confidentiality as an employee. Something happened (in no way involving me that) that caused a lot of problems for the directors and owner. I felt so petty complaining about a coworker during that.
Unregistered 05:27 PM 04-23-2015
I wasn't, but I felt strange because I am the newest person there. I didn't want to seem like I wanted to change things or being difficult.
Unregistered 05:38 AM 04-25-2015
I spoke to the director. I didn't get in trouble when she heard the whole story. I touched on I felt her personal issues and attitude were crossing into professional issues. The director didn't seem to care. Still employed, but I filled out some online apps last night.