I'm new to daycare.com so I'm hoping I'm doing everything right to post this I have a 9m dcb that I've had since he was 11 weeks old. He was only part time for a few months and then his dad accepted a new job where his schedule changes so now he's basically full time mon-thurs 7-3:30. He's good IF I'm in the room sitting close by or holding him. If I'm not, it is ear piercing screaming!!! If I leave the room he will crawl to find me screaming his little head off until he is red in the face. He will not finish a bottle unless I'm sitting close by. And he doesn't self soothe himself. He will cry until I come back in the living room and sit, then he'll play like nothing happened.
I usually just let him follow me around screaming otherwise I won't get anything done (cooking lunch, cleaning up from meals, etc.). He should know by now I'm not going to pick him up.
I know he's spoiled at home. It's their only baby so they have plenty of time to hold him and sleep with him during nap. I don't! I have my 3 kids (2, 4, 6-schools out for summer) plus 2 year old twins to care for. My nerves are shot! I don't know how much more I can take. His screaming makes my scream crawl it's that LOUD!!!
Dcd schedule changes next month so I only have him for a week. I am counting down the days :-/ I am only one person and can only take so much!

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It doesn't really sound like text book separation anxiety but sounds more like he is cared for at home in a much different manner than at daycare.

NOT saying anything you are doing is wrong, just that he is used to being held and having things done for him so he hasn't figured out how to self-soothe or play alone yet.

I think that it is important to have parents on the same page with you when caring for an infant since what goes on at home for routines and schedules does have a direct impact on the behavior and mood of the child while in daycare.

Is this child leaving you then when dad's schedule changes?

Welcome to the forum, by the way

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I know how you feel. It is sooo hard to deal with, but it is also very normal. No matter how much an infant may know you, they all go through this long phase. I have my own tactics of handling it with sanity but you have to do what works for you. One person suggested on another post just going about your day and that is just the best thing to do. In my short experience in daycare, there is nothing that will prevent it from happening, but there are ways of helping yourself and the child through it. All these people on daycare.com are great sources of support and tips, I hope you find it a great place just like I did.

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Thank you both for responding! The Dcd schedule changes every 7 weeks. He has a new daycare provider at the end of August taking over because it is just too hard to go about our day with him here. I keep trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but every day gets harder and harder. He's used to one on one attention and I can't give that to him unfortunately. If I didn't have the 5 other kids he would be a great baby, I'm sure. But my families needs come first and my kids need a sane mommy haha.
Literally not 5 minutes ago, my daughter was having a melt down (lunch time) but I couldn't get lunch made or help her because he was under my feet screaming. I may check myself into a psyche ward after today.
Hoping for a better day after nap!!!

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Have you considered asking the family if they could make the move to their new provider now rather than later?

I don't know, I am just not sure I could deal with that kind of clingy screaming for too long and most certainly not until August....

I know you are probably thinking you can just stick it out until then and that might very well be true but can your other kids? (your own and DCK's)

It really isn't fair to them to have to deal with that kind of noise all day and you won't be doing the baby any favors by just holding him so he's quiet every day....summer will be over before you get some peace and quiet.

I would seriously consider just telling this mom and dad that you can't do this anymore and let him go. NOT all kids are cut out for daycare, especially group care and that doesn't always mean it has anything to do with the provider or the program. Some kids just hate it.

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That's what my husband just told me to do. I'm going to let them know when they pick him up. I hate being like that but I've tried everything. Because of him I'm not accepting babies anymore. I only accept potty trained and up. I don't have the patience like I used to. I'm only 27 and feel like 50. And your right it isn't fair to the other kids. They walk around the house with their ears plugged this is by far the hardest job I've ever had and getting paid the least amount of money! Only 3 more years until my youngest is in school and then it's back to outside the home work for this mommy!!!

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I typically Moby wrap these to my hip and go about my day, but that is just a personal preference. It might make your day go smoother until you can pass the little guy off to the next provider, though.
I originally put Maya Wrap...while I like a ring sling, I very much prefer the Moby for comfort and versatility.

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Dont feel bad! We all have our limits and MANY of the providers on this board do not take infants at all or take a very limited number of kids under 2 years old. As a mother of many young ones myself (4 under 6 years old), it is only natural that your tolerance level is smaller for this kind of behavior. You aren't getting the down time and chance to refresh yourself because evenings and weekends, you are still surrounded by little ones. I know a lot of providers will have a renewed patience with babies and toddlers after their own kids are school age and that sort of thing. or you may really do well with another baby, just not this one. Anyway, I dont want you to feel bad about this not working out. You did your best, you put up with months of schedule changes and a screaming baby but you are doing the right thing now....set your limits and refocus on the rest of your group. You have five others this summer, its not like you are sitting around doing nothing!

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Thank you cheerfuldom for your encouraging words! You hit the nail on the head
And I had dcm bring a snugli pack. I popped him in there this morning and wore him like a backpack so I could get breakfast taken care of. Then everyone came into the living room to play so I got him out to play also. It lasted 5 min...I had to get clothes for my daughter to get her dressed for the day and the screaming began again.
I never drink but that may change this evening!

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