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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Whining/Pouting...Do You Ignore?
Hunni Bee 10:37 AM 05-02-2012
Im pretty much a stickler for rules, I bend when its truly warranted, but I believe in consistency.
I still get a bunch of whining, crying and pouting. It doesn't make me want to go back on what I've said, but no person likes to see kids unhappy...
The whole validating thing ("I know you want to play with that, but Susie is using it and we dont take toys")...they aren't trying to hear it. Plus I dont want them.to think whining and pouting gets extra me.
Do you all just ignore?
I still get a bunch of whining, crying and pouting. It doesn't make me want to go back on what I've said, but no person likes to see kids unhappy...
The whole validating thing ("I know you want to play with that, but Susie is using it and we dont take toys")...they aren't trying to hear it. Plus I dont want them.to think whining and pouting gets extra me.
Do you all just ignore?
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:43 AM 05-02-2012
"We use our words at Preschool."
If whining continues after that, yes I do ignore.
If whining continues after that, yes I do ignore.
Ariana 10:45 AM 05-02-2012
I state the expectation 2X and then ignore. For example "I understand you're frustrated you cannot have some chips before dinner but that is the rule" (said this to my DD last night as a matter of fact!!)
Whine, Whine, cry, cry. I stated a 2nd time ""I understand you're frustrated you cannot have some chips before dinner but that is the rule....you can wait until AFTER dinner....I'm not saying it again"
Ignore. I don't see any point in continuing to talk because I made the expectation very clear and it actually makes the whining worse.
Whine, Whine, cry, cry. I stated a 2nd time ""I understand you're frustrated you cannot have some chips before dinner but that is the rule....you can wait until AFTER dinner....I'm not saying it again"
Ignore. I don't see any point in continuing to talk because I made the expectation very clear and it actually makes the whining worse.
Solandia 12:05 PM 05-02-2012
"Use your words, please, I cannot understand you when you whine/cry". At this point, either the child uses their words, gets over it, OR they escalate. If the child escalates, they go to their crying spot until they can control themselves.
For pouting...like they didnt get what the wanted? And just standing there all grumpy-faced? Yup, same as whining..."Joe is using the trike. Find something else to play." Either the child listens, or the child continues the behavior..."Ok, Ben, you can either find something to play with, or go pout in your crying spot. Let me know when you are done pouting."
I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
When they have control of their behavior, THEN we can sit at talk about validating feelings and encouraging good behaviors, how feelings are okay, but some actions are not, etc...But in the midst of a pout/cry or tantrum....there is no way on this green earth I am giving them even more attention to it.
For pouting...like they didnt get what the wanted? And just standing there all grumpy-faced? Yup, same as whining..."Joe is using the trike. Find something else to play." Either the child listens, or the child continues the behavior..."Ok, Ben, you can either find something to play with, or go pout in your crying spot. Let me know when you are done pouting."
I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
When they have control of their behavior, THEN we can sit at talk about validating feelings and encouraging good behaviors, how feelings are okay, but some actions are not, etc...But in the midst of a pout/cry or tantrum....there is no way on this green earth I am giving them even more attention to it.
cheerfuldom 12:26 PM 05-02-2012
Validate and then ignore and then send them to the cry corner if they still dont get it. They can cry and pout all they want there....away from you and the other kids.
Lilbutterflie 12:26 PM 05-02-2012
Originally Posted by Solandia:
I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
This is so cute! I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
Hunni Bee 01:32 PM 05-02-2012
Okay, thanks!! Just wanted to be sure I wasn't a big meanie 
This morning I had one who wanted to play in Dramatic Play, but there were to many kids already there. He refused to play anything else, just stood on the outside and glared at all the other dcks. When i made him stop doing that, he stood two centimeters behind me and whined
This morning I had one who wanted to play in Dramatic Play, but there were to many kids already there. He refused to play anything else, just stood on the outside and glared at all the other dcks. When i made him stop doing that, he stood two centimeters behind me and whined
Heidi 01:42 PM 05-02-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
Okay, thanks!! Just wanted to be sure I wasn't a big meanie
This morning I had one who wanted to play in Dramatic Play, but there were to many kids already there. He refused to play anything else, just stood on the outside and glared at all the other dcks. When i made him stop doing that, he stood two centimeters behind me and whined
see, now count your blessings, because my 3 1/2 yo dcg would not just stand there. She would ignore me and go in anyway. She would then refuse to get out, prompting me to physically remove her (gently). At that point, she would start swatting and kicking me, yelling "let me go...let me go". Okay, thanks!! Just wanted to be sure I wasn't a big meanie
This morning I had one who wanted to play in Dramatic Play, but there were to many kids already there. He refused to play anything else, just stood on the outside and glared at all the other dcks. When i made him stop doing that, he stood two centimeters behind me and whined
At that point, I would move her to the thinking spot, where she would spend the next few minutes running out of, or jumping on, or yelling "pllllppp", or whatever she can do to escalate my attention. She's a fun one!
spud912 01:44 PM 05-02-2012
I try not to explain too much. I first ask nicely "no whining please, ask nicely." Usually that's all it takes. If they whine again, I say "no whining or you will go to the crying corner" more sternly. If they whine again, they go to the crying corner (which usually brings out the water works). Once they have chilled out, they come back much better!
MrsB 01:48 PM 05-02-2012
Originally Posted by Solandia:
"Use your words, please, I cannot understand you when you whine/cry". At this point, either the child uses their words, gets over it, OR they escalate. If the child escalates, they go to their crying spot until they can control themselves.
For pouting...like they didnt get what the wanted? And just standing there all grumpy-faced? Yup, same as whining..."Joe is using the trike. Find something else to play." Either the child listens, or the child continues the behavior..."Ok, Ben, you can either find something to play with, or go pout in your crying spot. Let me know when you are done pouting."
I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
When they have control of their behavior, THEN we can sit at talk about validating feelings and encouraging good behaviors, how feelings are okay, but some actions are not, etc...But in the midst of a pout/cry or tantrum....there is no way on this green earth I am giving them even more attention to it.
I do the exact same thing pretty much just different wording."Use your words, please, I cannot understand you when you whine/cry". At this point, either the child uses their words, gets over it, OR they escalate. If the child escalates, they go to their crying spot until they can control themselves.
For pouting...like they didnt get what the wanted? And just standing there all grumpy-faced? Yup, same as whining..."Joe is using the trike. Find something else to play." Either the child listens, or the child continues the behavior..."Ok, Ben, you can either find something to play with, or go pout in your crying spot. Let me know when you are done pouting."
I had one little guy @ barely 2yo who was the master of the pout. He would run to his crying spot, pout for a few minutes...then come running back all smiles "Hey, Miss Sola, all done my Pout!".
When they have control of their behavior, THEN we can sit at talk about validating feelings and encouraging good behaviors, how feelings are okay, but some actions are not, etc...But in the midst of a pout/cry or tantrum....there is no way on this green earth I am giving them even more attention to it.
"Go sit in the thinking chair until you have stopped whining/crying and decided what big boy/girl words you are going to use when you are done"
I have a few that put themselves on the thinking chair all by themselves too! One girl asked her mom, "where is the thinking chair at our house?"
SunshineMama 02:44 PM 05-02-2012
Originally Posted by LCLC:
"We use our words at Preschool."
If whining continues after that, yes I do ignore.
I agree. Whining stems from a lack of communication skills. Try to get them to use their words first."We use our words at Preschool."
If whining continues after that, yes I do ignore.
spud912 06:16 PM 05-02-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I agree. Whining stems from a lack of communication skills. Try to get them to use their words first.
I guess it depends on their age. The littles whine when they want something and can't ask, so I tell them to say "please," wait for them to try, accommodate as necessary and then ignore if it continues.I agree. Whining stems from a lack of communication skills. Try to get them to use their words first.
My older children definitely have the words. They will whine the words and then ask nicely when I tell them to do so. It's all in the tone of voice.