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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Dinner Problem
countrymom 09:54 AM 01-13-2011
I have a million problems today and some drama (I'll post later about the drama) but anyways, my kids get off the bus at 415pm, they are usually hungry so they have a quick snack but dinner is usually done at 430pm (we have activities and I don't want them to eat so close to heading out the door) well the sister (see post below "I have a problme")will get a snack when I pick her up at 4pm, well now she is constantly telling me that she is sooooo hungry and that she's starving. I just don't make enough food for my own family (there is 6 of us) but I don't think its fair that my own children should wait till she goes home which is anywhere between 430 and 515pm. what do you all do with dinner. I've been telling her that I just don't make enough for everyone, its different if I had extra (like tonite, too much drama so pizza out of the freezer we eat---thank you meijers for their 10 for 11 special) so you think its rude that my kids and husband eat while the dck's are here, our table is located near the daycare room so there is no where else to eat.
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AnythingsPossible 09:59 AM 01-13-2011
I don't see a problem with your family eating while daycare is there. You need to live your life! As far as the daycare girl goes, I would simply tell her, you have had your snack, I'm sure your mom will have a wonderful dinner for you when you get home.
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Rachel 10:15 AM 01-13-2011
I personally wouldn't serve dinner right in front of another child and not offer. I think it would be different if they were eating in another room, but to sit in front of her and eat is rude IMO. She's not going home unreasonably late, I would either serve her dinner (feel free to add an extra charge), or find some place for your family to eat not right in front of her.
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MyAngels 10:17 AM 01-13-2011
Maybe wait to give her her snack when your family eats?
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Luna 10:29 AM 01-13-2011
I would serve her with everyone else, maybe just a smaller portion just to hold her over until she gets home. I agree that it's rude to eat in front of someone without offering some.
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nannyde 10:48 AM 01-13-2011
Any kid that is here at five gets supper. I work it out with the parents that I will feed them no matter what. I can't deal with hungry kids. I would never eat in front of a kid and not offer them food.
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AnythingsPossible 11:04 AM 01-13-2011
Totally disagree that is rude to eat in front of them. Maybe if you had refused to give her a snack it would be rude, but she has eaten, and as a parent, I wouldn't want you giving my child dinner at 4:30 because that is when your family needs to eat. Most days I eat lunch after the kids have eaten their's as I am busy at lunch time attending to them. Is it rude that I eat while they are relaxing and getting ready for nap? Should I give them more to eat just because I am eating? I think that if she has been given a snack, then it's fine. However, you could do as a previous poster suggested and make her wait for snack till your family eats dinner, though from the sounds of it she would just complain about that as well. Your table is near the daycare room, not in the same room, so they aren't eating in front of her right? Maybe find an activity for her to do while they are eating. Sorry to disagree, but I just don't feel it's rude if her family needs to eat dinner early and eats while DCK is there.
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KEG123 11:14 AM 01-13-2011
We don't eat dinner until later, is that an option for your family?? If I plan to close/have kids out the door by 5:30, then as soon as they left I'd start dinner and it would be done by 6-6:30.
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dEHmom 11:19 AM 01-13-2011
Discuss it with the parents...If they want you to feed her at that time then do so. If they don't, then they can explain to her why she can't eat with you.

If it makes her happy to sit at the table with you guys to eat her snack, then let her. Or give her something "special" only she gets to do during the day for her to do while you guys are eating.
I understand eating at an early time because of schedules with sports/etc. I am usually cooking supper while kids are still here, and as soon as they leave, we eat fast, and run out the door.
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countrymom 03:37 PM 01-13-2011
so, just to clarify the dinning room is a seperate room, but its next to the daycare room.

so today, I what some of you suggested, I waited to serve dinner to my family after they left-----it didn't work, because my own children and dh were very hungry (he starts work at 4am) and the dcg just didn't stop with the "Im hungry" so when I picked her up I gave her a snack-cheese and crackers, I also had gold fish crackers on the table for my crowd who woke up from their nap---she ate all the crackers, then I had to give them more and again she ate their food, so needless to say I was mad. My kids were miserable because I found them trying to eat junk food. so I don't care now. supper will be served when they get home and she can go and play in the other room. I'm more mad that she ate all the kids snack and when she got scolded for it decided to boohoo about it.
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laundrymom 06:10 PM 01-13-2011
I won't feed one without all. If my family can't wait an hour and have dinner after I get off work then they can either go to dinner without me or have snacks in their rooms. I personally think serving food that isn't available to everyone in the home is rude. My own husband gets up at 4 is clocked in by 5 and works 10 to 12hours. Come s home and waits for me to finish working. He does as much cooking as I do and we always seem to time our food to finish just after the kids go home. Even if it means holding it for a bit in the oven. We do not eat with daycare here. If we have an activity or something and are pressed for time they take a bar or applesauce to their room and snack hidden from daycare, As I work until 6 and we eat after the activity.
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QualiTcare 08:03 PM 01-13-2011
from my experience, even my own daughter, kids are STARVING when they get out of school.

i think it's just insane to eat in front of a kid and not offer them some. i'd bet almost anything there are enough scraps left over from 6 people eating that she could eat with no problem if the portions were just a tiny bit smaller. okay, it's not "in front" of her since she can't see them putting the food IN their mouth, but obviously she knows there is food, can smell the food no doubt, and knows everyone is eating except her.

sorry, no matter how you word it, it's plain mean.
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DBug 02:21 AM 01-14-2011
I have dc kids til 6, my family eats at 5:30. The dc kids get a snack at 3:15 and another one at 5, so they've eaten lots. My kitchen is visible from the dc room, so yes the dc kids can see my kids eat dinner. But seriously, after feeding them 2 meals and 3 snacks all day, they're fine even if they say they're hungry. I don't have a problem with feeding my family in front of them, and I don't think you should either.

Maybe make the afterschool snack a little bigger or allow more time to eat it, but once she's had her fill, tell her to go play. I wouldn't be above reminding her that my kids don't get to go to her house and have supper with her! She's had snack, she'll have supper at home soon, she can go play til Mommy comes.
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mac60 03:07 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by DBug:
I have dc kids til 6, my family eats at 5:30. The dc kids get a snack at 3:15 and another one at 5, so they've eaten lots. My kitchen is visible from the dc room, so yes the dc kids can see my kids eat dinner. But seriously, after feeding them 2 meals and 3 snacks all day, they're fine even if they say they're hungry. I don't have a problem with feeding my family in front of them, and I don't think you should either.

Maybe make the afterschool snack a little bigger or allow more time to eat it, but once she's had her fill, tell her to go play. I wouldn't be above reminding her that my kids don't get to go to her house and have supper with her! She's had snack, she'll have supper at home soon, she can go play til Mommy comes.
Well said. Our days start very early, 6:15am, kids have after school activities, this is THIER home. I should not feel obligated to feed a child supper at 4:30 because she is still here. If she has had her snack, then she is done for the day. My hubby works 2nd shift, and always eats before he leaves for work....I certainly don't feel obligated to feed the kids again just because he is eating his lunch before 2nd shift work. There is a word in our language and it is NO. So many parents have forgotten what that word is.

Think about it, for most kids in our care, we feed them 2 of their daily meals and all their daily snacks Mon thru Fri....I certainly wouldn't increase to 3 meals a day, especially on my measly $85 per week.
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nannyde 03:22 AM 01-14-2011
I don't get this.

You understand that your children are coming home from school at the same time and they have a snack but are still hungry and need to eat supper fifteen minutes later.

You tried to postpone them one day and they were "very hungry" and "miserable" but you don't think SHE could be at the same time?

I guess I'm old school but if someone in this house is going to be hungry it's going to be me. I would give the kid my own food and go without before I would ever allow a kid to be hungry in my house.

It feels like there is something else going on here but I can't quite figure it out.

Have you asked the Mom about feeding her supper early when she gets home from school? Have you told her she wants a SUPPER and a snack right after you get her just like your own kids? Has anyone figured out what she is eating during the day and what time? Does she eat school lunch or packed lunch and what time?

Have you asked the Mom to provide supper MEALS for her either by bringing it or paying you to provide it? Are you on the Food Program? Is the child overweight?

If her Mom says no to more money or actually bringing you a full meal for each day that you can microwave and serve then you need to start having the kid call the Mom at work after snack and tell her that she is starving hungry EVERY SINGLE DAY. The child needs to say it to the Mom so she can fix it.

I don't know how you guys eat but if you are making meals that are high fat, high sugar, high starch, that SMELL like "junk" food to her she's going to want it whether she is hungry or not. If you are making pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, or even spaghetti (has a lot of sugar and starch) then the kid is going to know that's what tastes really good and she is going to want it. (not saying that's what you serve but just sayin... if it smells like kiddie junk food she is going to want it)

The Mom can make you containers of frozen foods that are from their meals that you can just heat and serve. She can bring you five a week for the kid to have right away when she comes. She can make containers from her leftover suppers and you can just return the containers to her daily.

There HAS to be some way to figure this out without the kid going hungry or eating in front of her. When you have snack out you have to WATCH her ... supervise her... so that she's not getting into the other kids food. That's part of doing day care... careful proximal supervision at all times.

There's more to this that I can't figure out. You are saying you don't make enough supper for her but that's solved by just making more supper. If this is a time/money thing... where you don't want to do the expense and work of feeding her supper then you have to work with the parent to get her picked up really fast after school so she can eat. If you are getting a really small amount of money for the max 1.25 hours a day she is in your house in the afternoon then maybe it's not worth it to keep her? If you have her sibling full time then you may be feeling pressured to deal with her in order to save the sibling slot???

Either way you have a kid that has a high need during the time you DO have her and you the Mom and you need to come to some financial agreement either by increasing your salary or picking the kid up early so the kid gets to eat right away like your kids do cuz they ALL need it.
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momofboys 03:24 AM 01-14-2011
We can't always help the times we have to eat dinner & if DC family is here we will eat. We tend to eat dinner early but mostly b/c we have evening activties that require us in most cases to be out the door by 5:15. Now my DC family eaves early (before 4) so it has not been a problem. But last year my DCF was normally here until 5:00 and a few times we did have to eat at 4:30 b/c my sons needed to be to baseball warm-ups & then game by 5:15 (game began at 5:45, warms ups were at 5:15). I don't think it is rude as long as you offer a snack. I know many could say well you could wait until after the game but personally in my opinion I would not want my family eating dinner at 7:15 when bedtime is at 8:00-8:30.
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BentleysBands 03:37 AM 01-14-2011
This What I do. I close at 6p. I start dinner at 530-545 . 2 kids are still here. If parent is late which is always I allow my family to go ahead and eat. I don't tho. I don't not serve daycare dinner. We too are a family of 6 . Making more is not an option. If I started feeding them dinner my parent would take that as a freebie kwim...paying more is not an option either as its MY FAMILY time.
I think your dcg is fine if she has had a snack. She isn't in the same room. I would let my family eat and YOU wait and eat after she leaves?
We use to early to but with time I Just pushed dinner up until I closed.
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legomom922 03:54 AM 01-14-2011
I am in the "no it's not rude to eat dinner camp" This girl can eat dinner with her family at her dinner time. You should not have to alter your families schedule just because of DCK's. Give her a snack to hold her over, but it is not your responsibility to feed her dinner. Dinner is family time.

Nobody is really "starving". they will be fine. If they didnt have food for a week, then they would be starving! I dont have a problem with kids feeling hungry. In fact i think its good for them, and then they appreciate food much more.
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Unregistered 05:14 AM 01-14-2011
There is nothing wrong with having dinner while daycare is still there its YOUR house and YOUR family and YOUR rountine. Tell daycare girl her Mother will feed her when she goes home. We have dinner between 4:30-5:00 every night and daycare doesnt leave till 5:30 my kids sit in the dinning room and eat and the daycare kids stay in the living room I dont eat till 5:30 thou till after the dc kids are gone but if MY kids are hungry for there dinner Im gonna feed them at the times they are use to eating.
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countrymom 05:19 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
This What I do. I close at 6p. I start dinner at 530-545 . 2 kids are still here. If parent is late which is always I allow my family to go ahead and eat. I don't tho. I don't not serve daycare dinner. We too are a family of 6 . Making more is not an option. If I started feeding them dinner my parent would take that as a freebie kwim...paying more is not an option either as its MY FAMILY time.
I think your dcg is fine if she has had a snack. She isn't in the same room. I would let my family eat and YOU wait and eat after she leaves?
We use to early to but with time I Just pushed dinner up until I closed.
this is it, I offer it if I have extra food but I have 4 older kids of my own and feeding 2 more kids is not in my food budget at all. I made the mistake of feeding her some meals and now I think they expect me to feed them all the time, and paying more is not an option. Also (I don't know where mom is she is mia so dad is bringing them) but they too have 4 kids too and they know how expensive feeding kids are. I also eat after the kids have left, so I'm not eating with my family and I refuse to feed to them after an activity (you should hear the kids who have to eat after activities)
nannyde, there is something going on that I can't put my finger on either. This child should not be that hungery, but yesterdays episode of her eating everyone elses snack was redicioulous. But it boils down to, that if I start feeding her meals than I have to charge extra (they pay 5 dollars for her) and in canada there is no such thing as a food program. I find that I'm already doing alot for this family--as this child seems to always forget her outside clothes so I'm giving her my kids stuff, I also don't want to give them up because I only have them for 6 months. But if I start feeding supper along with with my other 2 meals and snacks, where is it going to stop. On monday I'm going to look in her lunch pail and see what she has--today is a pa day and I don't have her.
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dEHmom 05:36 AM 01-14-2011
I agree with you countrymom.

I do understand the "it's not fair to eat in front of her" bit that's going on.
But if the parents refuse to send her supper OR give you extra money then that's their choice. They want to eat supper with their kids I'm sure. Just like you'd like to sit and eat with your family.

I thought about it, and should I have other children at my supper table, it would cause a lot more issues, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy my dinner with my family. And if I'm the one having to chauffeur all my kids to their activities, i find sometimes I am shoving the food in my face as I am running out the door, and that's not fair to me either.
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nannyde 05:40 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I think they expect me to feed them all the time, and paying more is not an option.

(they pay 5 dollars for her
Okay now it makes sense.

So you are transporting her, feeding her an afternoon snack, and caring for her for as much as 1.25 hours a day? Is that correct? You don't have her in the morning?
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countrymom 06:21 AM 01-14-2011
I have her for an hour in the morning and hour and half in the afternoon. So I charge 5 dollars an hour for b and a, so they are paying me 10 dollars a day, but thats what the rate at the schools are except they don't feed the kids and don't drop and pick up kids. My contract states that they will get an afternoon snack when they come home from school.
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SandeeAR 06:47 AM 01-14-2011
I know legally, the schools can't talk to you and give you info on her school day. But nothing stops them from listening to your concerns, so they can follow up at school. Why not contact her school and tell them how she is always starving at your place. Tell them about eating everyone else snack etc. Let them know you are concerned and know they have more sources to look into the situation, than you do.

It could be with a single parent, that she qualifies for the school food program and maybe isn't on it. It maybe simply that she is picky and not eating anything at lunch. It maybe, if she takes her lunch, that not much is being put into it. I could be that dcd's pride won't let him apply for any assistance, but therefore hurting his daughter. JMHO
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nannyde 06:55 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I have her for an hour in the morning and hour and half in the afternoon. So I charge 5 dollars an hour for b and a, so they are paying me 10 dollars a day, but thats what the rate at the schools are except they don't feed the kids and don't drop and pick up kids. My contract states that they will get an afternoon snack when they come home from school.
So if she is there a total of 2.5 hours a day that would be $12.50 a day at five dollars an hour.

You are really making four dollars an hour and doing a lot of work for that. Transporting her to and from school and having her 12.5 hours a week.

It's to the dollar but that's the point. The extra 2.50 a day would cover a decent meal for her after school if it was given instead of the snack.

Here's the problem: When you are doing a lot for a little it never works out. There's always resentment no matter how you slice it. If you are taking her for cheap and providing care and transportation to protect the salary of the younger sibling then you will always feel that anything other than her being really really super easy and next to no work... is going to be a problem.

There's a reason why the school has JUST their care and supervision at five dollars an hour. That money JUST covers care. It doesn't cover food and transport.

It's time to put this onto Dad and have him solve it. He needs to deal with his child's needs. I would tell him that she is claiming that she is starving after your agreed upon snack and that your kids are too. You understand she needs to eat again because you see this in your own children. You can feed her a meal at 4:30 for X dollars per day. Would he like you to do that?

If he says he does not want you to do it then you need to talk to her IN FRONT OF HIM and tell her that Daddy said "No supper here". When she brings up the food you need to tell her again that her Daddy said NO and then bring it up with him every time she brings it up with you.

He will most likely tell her to stop it or ask you to give her a bigger snack. If he asks for a bigger snack say "that will be an extra X dollars per day". Do you want me to do that? He sees you every day so he CAN bring her more snack food too.

Whatever it is... the solution needs to come from her parent. He pays, provides food that doesn't require extra labor for you, or HE tells her no.
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jen 07:02 AM 01-14-2011
I must be in the minority here, because I never serve dinner when I am working.

If my kids have activities, I make sure that they have something to eat, but I honestly can't imagine sitting down to dinner. I think my daycare families would be upset by that.
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Crystal 07:09 AM 01-14-2011
When issues like this arise (though dinner hasn't as I wait until the kids are gone before my family dinner) I try to look at it as if it were my own child in care. How would I feel about MY child not being served a meal while the providers children are? Personally, I'd be quite angry. There is no reason why you HAVE to feed your children before you dck goes home. If they are THAT hungry, then she probably is too.

One thing to consider as well, by the time she gets home, and a meal is served, it is probably quite late and she really is starving. Perhaps she has made that connection and wants to eat with you because she knows she is going to have to wait another two hours to eat.

It wouldn't matter to me if they paid more or not. If I am going to serve my family food, any dck still here will get it too.
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momofboys 07:22 AM 01-14-2011
I know some of you say you would just feed the child, simple as that. And that is understandable. However, if you don't have lots of clients & aren't paid much for the ones you do it would literally break the bank to have to feed 2-3 extra kids dinner or in all actuality I would barely be making any money if I had to feed them dinner too. Not to make this about $$$ but I notice that the ones who say they would feed them more than likely have numerous families & not just 1 or 2. Certainly if I had 4-5 families that I was providing care for then yes it would not be a big deal for me to have dinner for 2-3 extra kids because I would more than likely be bringing in a bigger income. But I don't. And yes, in most cases a family could wait until the DCF leaves but IMO why should they? I don't want to make my kids wait to eat dinner until after 7:00. Every family has different activites in the evenings that sometimes makes it necessary to eat earlier than normal. I won't make my family eat secretively in order to not offend the DCF. It just seems silly to me.
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dEHmom 07:32 AM 01-14-2011
sorry but what does IMO mean? And KWIM?

For us, my kids would have to eat at 430 in order to not go to dance/swimming on a full tummy and end up with cramps etc. I book all their activities as late as I can (6pm-6:30 pm) but for 4 and 6 yr olds that's late considering they go to bed at 7:30pm. Should I have to feed them at 7 or 730 that's pushing back their bathtime, bedtime and throwing off a routine/schedule they have had all their life.

If the parents don't agree to you feeding them supper and paying a little extra if need be for that, (I mean really an extra dollar a day would be enough, its not like a little girl will eat a whole steak to herself or anything), then the schedule needs to adjust so your family does have time to eat dinner. Advise the parents if the child must be picked up by this time, in order to allow for your family to eat dinner and move ahead with activities. Daycare takes up approx 12 hours of your day, regardless if that child is just 1 hr after school or not, you have maybe 4 or 5 hours in the evening with your family. They have to understand.

My daycare hours are until 6 pm. Most of my families have picked up by 4:30 or 5:30, but the latest I will go is 6pm. My children go to bed at 7:30. That gives me 1 1/2 to 2 hrs with my family alone? I go to bed usually around 8:30 9pm, watch news, and then go to sleep by 10pm ish.
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SilverSabre25 07:36 AM 01-14-2011
Baybee, IMO is "In My Opinion" and KWIM is "Know What I Mean". Similarly, IME is "In My Experience" and IYKWIM is "If You Know What I Mean."
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momofboys 07:41 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
sorry but what does IMO mean? And KWIM?

For us, my kids would have to eat at 430 in order to not go to dance/swimming on a full tummy and end up with cramps etc. I book all their activities as late as I can (6pm-6:30 pm) but for 4 and 6 yr olds that's late considering they go to bed at 7:30pm. Should I have to feed them at 7 or 730 that's pushing back their bathtime, bedtime and throwing off a routine/schedule they have had all their life.

If the parents don't agree to you feeding them supper and paying a little extra if need be for that, (I mean really an extra dollar a day would be enough, its not like a little girl will eat a whole steak to herself or anything), then the schedule needs to adjust so your family does have time to eat dinner. Advise the parents if the child must be picked up by this time, in order to allow for your family to eat dinner and move ahead with activities. Daycare takes up approx 12 hours of your day, regardless if that child is just 1 hr after school or not, you have maybe 4 or 5 hours in the evening with your family. They have to understand.

My daycare hours are until 6 pm. Most of my families have picked up by 4:30 or 5:30, but the latest I will go is 6pm. My children go to bed at 7:30. That gives me 1 1/2 to 2 hrs with my family alone? I go to bed usually around 8:30 9pm, watch news, and then go to sleep by 10pm ish.
I totally agree with you! When my boys have baseball (2x a week in the spring) I won't have them eat 10 min before we have to leave that is why we have to eat by about 4:30.
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dEHmom 07:47 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Baybee, IMO is "In My Opinion" and KWIM is "Know What I Mean". Similarly, IME is "In My Experience" and IYKWIM is "If You Know What I Mean."
Thanks! I've asked before but never got the response lol. I figured out most of them except for KWIM and IMO. The other 2 I have not seen yet until just now!

And Janarae yep, it's not easy being a soccer/baseball/dance/swimming/ etc mom. Apparently chauffeuring is the rest of my life. I've got 2 boys ready to start getting into sports and such. ERG
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AnythingsPossible 08:02 AM 01-14-2011
My final two cents on this thread...if I remember correctly from a previous post, this girl likes to complain and cause trouble. I don't believe at any point the OP has stated that she refuses to feed the girl at all. She does give her a snack. In my opinion, this little girl just likes to control situations and get what she wants, of course I don't know her, but what was said in a previous post makes me assume that is how this little girl operates. I would not under any circumstances adjust how my family life is ran because of daycare. On the nights my children have had activities early in the evening, they have eaten while daycare was still at our home. Daycare kids are told why they are eating early, and it's left at that. I can not understand why so many people are of the opinion that this little girl should be given what she wants, when she has already been given what is offered for daycare. When parents chose to send their child to home daycare, they need to understand that it is our home. If they don't like the way we operate, they are welcome to go somewhere else. With all that being said, I personally would not want to always have dinner time while daycare is here, but if that is what OP schedule requires, then that is HER choice. Since everyone is discussing how rude it is to eat in front of daycare kids, I think it is rather rude to assume that the little girl must want to eat because OP is fixing unhealthy junk food. Heaven forbid she fixed a pizza
This post has just really rubbed me the wrong way. Everyone speaks so much about how we need to stand up for ourselves and not give in to people, and in the next breath people are telling the OP that she is rude for not offering dcg dinner with her family, when dcg is obviously just pushing to get what she wants. So many comments about how it's rude to eat in front of the kids. My husband comes home an hour after dck's eat their lunch and eats his. Should i prepare them another lunch because we have ours at that time? Wouldn't want to be rude! i'm frankly dumbfounded at the attitudes over this, as I'm sure a few will be over my attitude, but i don't feel OP should get such grief over taking care of her families needs.
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mac60 08:14 AM 01-14-2011
Why is it that the majority think it is wrong to tell a child no. I don't get it. Seriously, that child can say she is starving, but I am 100% sure that that child does not know what hunger/starving truely is. If you are giving her a good snack when she arrives after school, you have met your obligations to her, unless, you have contracted to feed her supper.

My dc kids would eat the whole 9/10 hours they were here if I let them. I don't eat lunch when they do, but I don't feel I have to feed them again when I do. When my daughter who is 19 eats or my hubby before work, I don't feel obligated to feed the dc kids then.

I feed my dc kids 2 of their 3 meals a day, plus snacks, we do other things weekly like bake cookies, muffins, cupcakes, and they eat those too, many times taking them home. I get $85 for 1 child, $135 for 2 kids fulltime. Feeding them 2 meals a day and snacks is all I can handle with the budget.

I am sure if the child was at a center, this wouldn't be an issue at all. While I agree that there is a fine line drawn when our business is in our home, I do feel that my family--husband and children--- should have the right and opportunity to sit down and eat supper at the table together, regardless if there is daycare kids still in the home or not, as it is our family home. It is not like we would sit there with a hot steaming pizza throwing it in their face that we are eating and they are not. That is just silly.
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nannyde 08:29 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
When issues like this arise (though dinner hasn't as I wait until the kids are gone before my family dinner) I try to look at it as if it were my own child in care. How would I feel about MY child not being served a meal while the providers children are? Personally, I'd be quite angry. There is no reason why you HAVE to feed your children before you dck goes home. If they are THAT hungry, then she probably is too.

One thing to consider as well, by the time she gets home, and a meal is served, it is probably quite late and she really is starving. Perhaps she has made that connection and wants to eat with you because she knows she is going to have to wait another two hours to eat.

It wouldn't matter to me if they paid more or not. If I am going to serve my family food, any dck still here will get it too.
I absolutely agree that any time we eat here ALL the kids are welcome to eat too. I feed any kid that is here after five because that's when DS and I eat.

I DO think though that the difference for me is that I CHARGE for extra time in the afternoon. I charge for kids who are here later. If they are here during a meal time then I'm getting paid MORE for them.

I just think you can't HAVE kids in your house who's parents can't afford or are not willing to pay for their BASIC needs. If the Dad can't afford to have his daughter fed when she is hungry then I can't work for that Dad or he has to come and get her to take care of her during this time. She can't BE in my house if the parent can't afford what she needs during that time.

I think if this Dad offered the provider an extra five a day to cover the food and the labor per kid then she would most likely not mind serving them a full supper before her family ate or with them. I think this DOES have to do with money.

It's OKAY to discuss money with these kinds of issues because 99 times out of a 100 it IS about the money.

That said.. no kid would be hungry in my house. It would make ME miserable to think one of them was.
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nannyde 08:33 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible:
I think it is rather rude to assume that the little girl must want to eat because OP is fixing unhealthy junk food. Heaven forbid she fixed a pizza
No it's not. It's just human nature. The smell of these kinds of foods DO make people want them. Sheesh .. every place that makes food knows that. How do YOU feel when you walk into a bakery? I know it makes ME want a donut whether I'm hungry or not.

We are humans and humans respond to smells. If she is making pizza most likely the school aged kids KNOWS what that smells like and it's most likely making her crave it or want it. Most kids really like pizza.

It's not a slam about the food. It's just the nature of that kind of food.
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countrymom 08:49 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible:
My final two cents on this thread...if I remember correctly from a previous post, this girl likes to complain and cause trouble. I don't believe at any point the OP has stated that she refuses to feed the girl at all. She does give her a snack. In my opinion, this little girl just likes to control situations and get what she wants, of course I don't know her, but what was said in a previous post makes me assume that is how this little girl operates. I would not under any circumstances adjust how my family life is ran because of daycare. On the nights my children have had activities early in the evening, they have eaten while daycare was still at our home. Daycare kids are told why they are eating early, and it's left at that. I can not understand why so many people are of the opinion that this little girl should be given what she wants, when she has already been given what is offered for daycare. When parents chose to send their child to home daycare, they need to understand that it is our home. If they don't like the way we operate, they are welcome to go somewhere else. With all that being said, I personally would not want to always have dinner time while daycare is here, but if that is what OP schedule requires, then that is HER choice. Since everyone is discussing how rude it is to eat in front of daycare kids, I think it is rather rude to assume that the little girl must want to eat because OP is fixing unhealthy junk food. Heaven forbid she fixed a pizza
This post has just really rubbed me the wrong way. Everyone speaks so much about how we need to stand up for ourselves and not give in to people, and in the next breath people are telling the OP that she is rude for not offering dcg dinner with her family, when dcg is obviously just pushing to get what she wants. So many comments about how it's rude to eat in front of the kids. My husband comes home an hour after dck's eat their lunch and eats his. Should i prepare them another lunch because we have ours at that time? Wouldn't want to be rude! i'm frankly dumbfounded at the attitudes over this, as I'm sure a few will be over my attitude, but i don't feel OP should get such grief over taking care of her families needs.
I think that is the problem, she is controlling, I will post about what happened later because I have to fight for the computer with my kids today, I hate pa days and facebook or is it cityville they are playing
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countrymom 08:50 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
No it's not. It's just human nature. The smell of these kinds of foods DO make people want them. Sheesh .. every place that makes food knows that. How do YOU feel when you walk into a bakery? I know it makes ME want a donut whether I'm hungry or not.

We are humans and humans respond to smells. If she is making pizza most likely the school aged kids KNOWS what that smells like and it's most likely making her crave it or want it. Most kids really like pizza.

It's not a slam about the food. It's just the nature of that kind of food.
I didn't make it till she went home, I wanted to see how far she would go with this food business and ......
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