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  #1  
Old 11-21-2013, 08:42 AM
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Default I Feel Like DCD Is Being Sneaky

Recently dcd has been doing some unusual things. First off I must explain that my dc rooms are on the lower level. Parents come in through the front door and then down the stairs. It is not feasible for me to lock the door because of my own kids and hubby coming and going and also then I would have to run up and down the stairs 30 more times per day. So it is entirely possible that a parent could come in unheard and stand in the entryway and listen to whatever is going on in the dcroom.

So dcd has been dropping off the kids but then randomly he'll come back in like 10 minutes later and leave the car seat upstairs.

Last week I ran up to my bedroom and saw him come in at 3:20 to "drop the seat off." Yesterday he dropped the seat off around 3:00 and I never even heard him come in , just saw the seat sitting there. He has also come early and unannounced a couple of times in the past few weeks for pick up.

I really feel like he is spying on us or trying to see what is going on. There is nothing going on but the feeling of being spyed on is unnerving.

I have had this family for 3 years and this is a new development but recently I suggested the family get the older child a developmental screening through the school and also told them "we" (they) need to also be working with dcb on self help skills.

Dcd works from home and has his wife convinced that he works really hard but when I have been out during the day I see him at the gym or running errands. Plus he has time to bring the seat over here an hour and a half before his wife is supposed to pick up the kids.

My assistant and I were talking about how well the older child is doing recently but then we were also talking about how the younger one seems to be following in her brothers footsteps being helpless and whiney. Who knows if dcd heard THAT conversation yesterday when he was sneaking around!
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Old 11-21-2013, 08:49 AM
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Why not remind him immediately at drop off to leave the seat since he is having a tough time remembering to do so?

Then, wait and see what he does.

Right now it only appears that he is being forgetful.
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  #3  
Old 11-21-2013, 08:49 AM
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put a bell on the door? like those cute holiday ones on the doorknob under the guise of a decoration. Then you know if someone is coming in or out.
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Old 11-21-2013, 08:50 AM
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Both great ideas!!

See I tend to over analyze things so it is nice to hear the he seems just forgetful. My mind starts going crazy thinking what "Did I do something wrong" or "what is he hoping to find."
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Old 11-21-2013, 09:18 AM
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Put a number keypad lock on your front door. Dh and kids won't need a key and can easily get in, but parents cannot.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:14 AM
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I like the other ideas better but you could also tell him that he must sign in and out each time he comes (with the time) for the safety of the children, per licensing requirements, for your insurance company or whatever is applicable in your situation. Have date/time in and out, reason for visit and have him sign it.

Laurel
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:45 AM
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I would absolutely be locking that door. Whether or not he's spying is beside the point. If he is coming in and you don't know he's even there, what if a weirdo comes in and does who knows what? That is not safe imo. I would give your hubby and kids a key to the door or like another poster said a keypad. When we had our old house, I could not hear the doorbell in the basement, so I got one of those stick on buttons for the doorbell and it comes with a plug in bell that you can take from room to room. Worked perfectly. I would rather go up the stairs a lot versus having someone creeping around my house and not knowing it.
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:54 AM
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This is what I have. It has a loud "ding dong" when the door opens. I love it!

http://www.amazon.com/GE-45115-Wirel...rds=Door+alarm
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Old 11-21-2013, 12:07 PM
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This is what I use. Mine is put up with velcro so I can take it down after hours or during naptime. I like that the part that plugs into the wall can go in any outlet. So you could plug it in downstairs where you are and hear it when someone opens the door. I can normally see my door because my house is an open floor plan but it is L shaped and if I am in the kitchen I can't see and might not hear someone come in.

http://www.lowes.com/pd_56293-85538-...ell&facetInfo=
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  #10  
Old 11-21-2013, 01:46 PM
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I bought some bells. A big bunch of jingle-bells! I'm going to give that a try first.
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  #11  
Old 11-21-2013, 02:35 PM
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How about him buying an extra car seat? to avoid all the coming and going. I don't allow car seats to be left here inside or outside my house.I learned this tip on this forums and i'm very happy about it. it works for me!
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  #12  
Old 11-21-2013, 04:11 PM
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I could not stand for a parent being in the living space of my home and me not know it. The character issues of a parent sneaking in would send me through the roof. As soon as he know that you've put bells on the door, he will try to get in without jingling the bells. Yuck.

How about this?

http://www.harborfreight.com/wireles...tem-93068.html

I have one. It jingles when the car drives up. No surprises.
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  #13  
Old 11-21-2013, 04:17 PM
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Maybe I'm giving him to much credit, but maybe he is 'sneaking' in so his own kids don't know he stopped by. We all know that can cause confusion, and problems, and think it's time to go home.
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