I'm new here and found this place using google.
So I'm currently under investigation at my daycare because a parent complained, before any mention of an investigation I was told I was fired. I have a witness at work who heard the parent talk to me and told our director the parent never mentioned any of the claims to me but took them to the front office manager then the director. Has this ever happened to you? I'm unsure of what I'm supposed to do and scared I'll be losing my job because this parent has issues.

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Well without more information it is hard to offer any advice. I am guessing though that the center is trying to protect themselves. It may be standard that if you are involved in an investigation that you get fired at some centers. It is hard to say. But if they really are letting you go over something you didn't do, you probably don't want to work there anyway.

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I'm sorry this happened to you. You don't give a lot of details so it's difficult to offer any specific advice however; I would think the termination of your employment would end the "investigation." A center isn't like a school district; their right to do anything to you typically ends with termination. Additionally, if it's their standard practice to fire staff over parent complaints, they will lose a lot of staff.

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If you were fired, why would you be worried about losing your job?

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What happened? If you were fired, why would you be worried about losing your job? Are you being investigated outside of the situation, like you're being charged with a crime that happened while you were working? Is it just or the center as a whole?

Not enough information to form a statement or advice.

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The person who said I was fired doesn't have the power to fire people. I have spoken with my director and was told that based on the out come of this investigation I may not have a job that's why I'm worried. I can't give many details because I'm afraid someone from my work may read it and I'll still get fired. Here's a few more details, the parent complaining has a difficult child aka child doesn't listen and is often violent. Parent saw me tell the child to go sit in the quiet time area because of something dangerous the child had done. Parent questioned me on why I had spoken to the child that way aka go sit down instead of please. After the parent and child left our front office manager came and spoke to me about the parent's complaint accusing me of physical punishment.

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Did you touch the child during this? If not then there was no physical punishment. Did you speak in a demeaning way towards the child? Like we said it is hard with so little info but if you didn't do either of those two things I wouldn't worry so much. If the investigation finds you did violate a licensing rule, then the center will have no choice but to fire you, licensing may make them do it, if not you will still be considered a liability.

If the child is a danger to others, you need to speak to the director about that. The director needs to make sure you can keep all children safe.

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That is a very serious allegation, and one that can be investigated outside of your center. In a center setting, you typically don't work alone. We're there any witnesses? Does your center use cameras? In this type of situation, both can protect you.

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I don't believe I was being demeaning to the child, I had asked the child to please go sit down in quiet time several times before I told the child to do it. I did take the child's hand and and walked the child to quiet time and sat with the child. There's no policy at work regarding this type of touching, and in fact the manual encourages such behavior like hugging and physical contact. I don't know what to do, the center knows the child is violent even towards teachers and has had to intervene once for harm the child did to another teacher.

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I have a witness that heard the parent ask why their child was told to go sit down without a please added to it. The parent only claimed physical punishment to the front office manager as well as the director. Between the time the parent spoke to the manager and the director parent and child went home only to return later.

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Honestly the center should no longer have a child who is a threat in care. I know you can't force that, but if I had to speak to an investigator I would tell them this and give examples. Just like you can't abuse a child, we can't allow another child to either, abuse is abuse. As far as taking his hand and leading him, that is tough. The parent may have thought you were rough, or just didn't like that you did it. As a PP posted are their cameras? I hope so for you in this case, because they will show exactly what happened.

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We don't have cameras, as for telling the investigator about the child's behavior or the way the parent addresses being told about such behavior I was told by my director that telling the investigator these things would only look like I was attacking the parent because of the accusations against me.

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This happened to a friend of mine at a centre. She lead a child out of a sandbox after repeatedly asking the child to leave and ended up dislocating her arm. My friend was put on leave while they investigated. They concluded that she was negligent and she was sent to "behavior management training" and was reinstated at her job. Having said this, my friend was protected by a union whereas I assume you are not. If you are worried, why not sit down with the director and let her know what happened and that you would be willing to take a course or something as good faith that you didn't think you did anything wrong.

We all know how frustrating it can be to have a child not listen and I am sure we have all lead a child somewhere a bit more agressively than we intended to and that might be the case here. Unfortunately the parent saw you and without context it can seem like you were being abusive. If it were me I would just be confident that my intention was not to harm a child and I would be completely honest about what happened. All you can do is tell the truth and trust that it will all end ok for you. And even if it doesn't, you told the truth and that is literally all you can do here.

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Well I could see how some may see it that way. But really I see your director keeping a child like this as an issue. It really isn't about the parent, it is about your director not doing what is needed to keep the other children safe, up to and including terming the child. Those of us in home daycare do not keep children who are hurting other children. Why some centers do is beyond me. The fact that the center was allowing this child to hurt others would probably be enough that I would be looking for another job.

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I've spoken to my director about this issue, and it's not done much good. I guess without giving away everything that happened I could see how it maybe taken as abusive behavior towards the child. However I honestly fail to see how if the parent though I was doing what I was accused of why their concern when speaking to me in front of a witness was why the child was spoken to like that instead of why were you physically punishing my child? Also why does the parent keep changing the story?

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If a child does not let me lead them by the hand, so far my 3 yo just goes, except for my ds, I pick them up. I was told this is better because dislocations can happen especially if a child yanks or pulls away from you.

I don't understand ever saying 'please' to a child that is getting a consequence. There is no asking, etc when it comes to that.

I understand the center environment is different but if it was my home, the child would be sent home after not listening to me repeatedly.

Sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, it's up to the center and licensing. Unless, there are marks on the child, I don't see you getting in trouble for this but we always have to be ever so careful when we need to dole out a consequence with other people's children.

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At a centre you are absolutely not allowed to pick a child up and physical contact is not encouraged. I could lead a child but we had this special trick where we held the child by the arm not the hand so that if they went limp or tried to flee we wouldn't accidentally break their wrist. I also let go immediately if a child pulled. There is just too much at stake if a child gets hurt that it is not worth it. I could not physically make a child do anything and this is why I learned how to be extremely firm when speaking to children so that they know I mean business. You have to ask yourself if this child is worth losing a job over or worse and most of the time the answer is no! If the director was not interested in the havoc this child was causing I would have found another job but I can say for sure there is at least one in every group!

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Ok, that sounds about right that you can't do that in a center. Licensing told me it is always better to pick a child up instead of leading them because of dislocations and injuries and the risk of them hitting their head because they yank and you let go is also a concern.

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I personally believe that if it comes to getting 'physical' with a child to get them to listen, not meaning any sort of corporal punishment but just the fact of needing to get them to timeout(because by the time they're old enough for time out I shouldn't have to make them go or stay), then the parents and I need to have a talk about how to continue care.

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Man, I am so glad I don't work at a daycare center. No wonder people call them kid prisons. Limited or no physical contact, no recourse for bad behavior, claims of abuse if you so much as touch a child? I would say you should get out and be done there. You can wait for the investigation, but who would want to work in a place where you are being investigated because you didnt ask a child nicely to sit in timeout

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Original Poster, do you happen to live in Texas ? It sounds a lot like a center where I used to work !
At all the centers I have worked, we were told we can touch children
within reason. Hand on shoulder, hugs, high five hand holding were all allowed. I can't see teaching a room of 2, 3, or 4 year olds without having contact. What if there were an emergency and the child didn't want to move ? A teacher would need to carry the child to safety. I miss some of the hugs and smiles from my students. As a nanny, I'm really careful about physical contact, but I still do some of the above.
Your center should be on your side 100 percent. There are all different things parents want to cry foul about, management needs to keep it in check.

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I'm not in texas, and I agree that the center should be supportive. However the center management staff is more interested in keeping full time students than keeping teachers.

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In this particular situation I'm going to say your licensor is wrong.

I would never ever ever ever physically pick up a child that was capable of walking to timeout on their own.

I'm sure the comment about dislocations is if you were pulling on a child or dragging them due to their unwillingness to go to timeout but in that case I would tell them three times and should they choose not to listen or comply I would call the parent for immediate pick up but I would never pick them up or physically engage in a power struggle with them.

That type of thing is a huge liability risk ... I am actually a little surprised that your licenseor is telling/saying that.

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By physical contact I didn't mean hugs, hand/arm holding to lead or holding a hand down if the child is about to hit or holding and picking up if physical safety is in jeopardy. I just meant that I cannot pick a child up and place them in a chair type of thing or grab an arm and lead a child kicking and screaming (which would end up bruising a child if you didn't let go).

I know people think that this is not right but I do agree with those policies and it does force you to become a better problem solver when it comes to behavior management. I don't physically pick my own kids up either and get really mad at my husband when he does it To me it is a consent issue and you are teaching a child that just because they are smaller they don't get a say about who touches them or forces them to do something....if that makes sense. My challenge as a provider is getting a child to do something by choice. Not easy but doable.

I am also surprised that the licensor said picking up a child was better.

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nicely worded...

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Like I said, it if was a situation where I felt I had to do that, I'd talk to the parents about a solution. I was told it was a way of showing the child where to go and that they had to stay until they are allowed back to play. Except for my own ds at times, all I normally have to say is go sit and they rush to the "timeout" spot, or I say go take a break.

I would never fight with a child to do it but I don't know, I was told it's better than trying to take a child by the arm as usually that's where a power struggle ensues. Also, if they're old enough for a timeout, they're old enough to go by themselves.

I don't think it's overpowering them, they're children and I'm the adult in charge. It's pretty much understood that I'm the boss. They are used to my authority so to speak. My children are young so it's just common place for me to be picking up children all day long. I have toddlers to redirect as well.

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