Talk about stressful! We already have A LOT going on right now (building a 2nd daycare/my new home in the front yard, had to close for a week for water damage/mold from a water leak 2 weeks ago, I miscarried 2 weeks ago and had to have surgery, etc) so for this to happen it's like "Really?! What's next?!"

We have an almost 2yr old girl whose dad dropped her off this morning and said, "She has diaper rash. There's cream in her bag." and just left. She's NEVER had diaper rash before, so it's weird for him to say that. When we changed her it doesn't look like any rash we've ever seen before. It's almost like a yeast infection, but in her diaper area around her front and back holes, if you know what I mean. There's a slight bruising coloration to the raised red areas too.

We didn't know what to do so we called CPS and the lady said it doesn't look like any diaper rash she's seen. So she told us after her parents pick her up they are gonna call and say that someone anonymously called them with concerns. Well considering we're the only ones that change her diaper, obviously we're the ones that called! And we didn't say a word to them when they picked her up (which they advised), so we're so scared what's going to happen tomorrow when they drop her off.

Anyone ever have to deal with this? One of my workers, who wasn't here today, and who I really wish would just quit so I don't have to fire, is the one who opens tomorrow and will be here when the parent drops off. Should I warn her or do you think it's better that she doesn't know?

We don't want the parents to be mad at us, but we don't want the girl to be getting hurt at home, ya know? Her parents are only 20yrs old and I hate to use this phrase, but they are kind of "white trash" so I can see them being the type that will blow up and get really mad, or they might just blow it off and not even care. Ugh this sucks!

First off, I wanted to say I'm so sorry about your miscarriage!

As far as today, I think you did the right thing. I don't really have any advice except to say that you should definitely tell the worker tomorrow so she can be aware of the situation. Also, document everything and make sure the worker tomorrow takes note of anything "off." Good luck and keep us updated!

I'm so sorry about everything going on right now. It never rains but it pours. I'm especially sorry for your loss (((HUGS)) I have a dcm who miscarried over a month ago and is still suffering complications.

It definitely sounds like you made the right call in calling CPS. My honest opinion is that you should do everything in your power to be there when the parents drop off tomorrow. It's a serious situation and you, not an assistant, and especially not an assistant of dubious qualities, should be the one handling it. 100%. Plus, you KNOW the parents are likely to claim that she got the problem from daycare. YOU should be there whenever this child is, for that reason alone.

hugs to you on the miscarriage.....


You do need to advise the employee of the situation and tell her to have them call you if they need anything further. Also do not be surprise if you never see that child again. Most families will not return their child to a place that has called CPS to came and investigate.

Well about an hour and a half after the parents picked up the child, the little girl's grandma (who is her mom's mom) called and asked if anything was wrong today. I said I didn't know what she was talking about. She said that her daughter is bawling her eyes out because she's scared that CPS is going to take her daughter away from her because someone anonymously called them to complain. I told her that our consultant was here (she was actually here yesterday but they don't know that) and saw the rash during a diaper change and was concerned, so she called them. Is that bad I lied? Our consultant told us it was okay, and if it keeps the parents from getting mad at us and taking her away, I didn't see why not to do it.

I know that we all can agree to disagree, but I would never lie to anyone. Not sure if the law is the same in your state, but as a child care provider, I am a mandated reporter and ALL of the parents know this. If I suspect child abuse of any kind, I am required by LAW to report it. I am here to protect the child first and foremost.

I might tell the parents the truth that you had to call because the your consultant was there and you had to cover your butt by reporting it. I am sure if your consultant did see it and you didn't report it, you might have been in some trouble yourself.

Sorry to make you feel bad, but I don't think it was ok for you to lie to them. In the future, you need to let the parents know of your duty to report anything that is suspect to child abuse to CPS.

I am really sorry you are going through all of this................

(Registered, just can't log in for some reason)OP, I am very proud of you for making the call.* If the family does find out, I would tell them that it was just in the best interest of the child.* If the "rash" is nothing, then the family will be fine.* If it is something else, well, it's good that they may be able to get services to preserve the safety and well being of the child.* I know that personally, I couldn't live with myself knowing that I could have done something to save a child, but didn't.*

So sorry to hear of your miscarriage (((hugs))). As others have said, you did the right thing by calling CPS. Think about it another way -- what if you handn't reported it and it turns out that this child is being abused? I know it's not an easy decision to involve CPS, but it sounds like you had some very sound reasons for reporting.

I am sorry to say that I don't think you should have called. Children can and do get yeast rashes especially after antibiotic use. My daughter had a yeast rash which we treated with over the counter medication. What you are describing does sound like a yeast rash and needs treatment. But I am not sure why cps has to be involved. I would first call the parent and ask them to bring the child to the dr to get advice. Unless there is a pattern of neglect or obvious abuse cps should not be called and disrupt the child's home life. If the rash wasn't being treated or the parents ignored your request to bring the child to the dr then that would be grounds for cps.

not sure what you achieved by lying about it, the truth always comes out in the end.

I absolutely agree. CPS is very serious and a pattern or strong concern of abuse is needed. You couldn't have asked Dad about the rash at pickup? Gotten a doctors note? How long has this child been in care? This families life is turned upside down now because you called about a diaper rash that you didn't even ask any questions about. Im sorry, but that is wrong and I hope this family survives the hardships to come because of this phone call.

I've said it before here: ppl are quick to jump on the CPS wagon without making sure that they understand all the ramifications of making that call unwarranted.

Eta: I am sorry for your losses and hardships, OP. I know that making that call couldn't have been easy and I am sorry you felt you had to do it. That's hard. I hope things work out for everyone in the end. I also agree that I would want to be there to greet this girl today when she arrives.

(((hugs))) So sorry for your loss. I think you did the right thing in calling. I learned through a training that it is not up to us to decide if it's abuse or not we need to call if something gives us cause to seriously wonder. I'm sorry for the family if it truly is a case of diaper rash, but you need to err on the side of the child. ~Joy

You don't think that the first step would be asking the parents about it before calling with allegations of abuse? Requesting a doctors note? It may well be there is a reasonable explanation but the opportunity to explain was not offered.

Did you guys who said she should not have called miss the part about where OP said there was a bruising coloration around the front and back privates? Bruising around those areas, combined with an all of a sudden rash that more than one person in the childcare business has not seen before warrents a call to CPS.

OP I am so sorry that you are going through all of this all at once. I can only imagine how your body's hormones are adjusting to what you had to go through with the miscarriage, and then with the additional stress of everything else, coupled with this problem with DCG. You did the right thing, and I hope no one makes you feel guilty about it. If the parents have nothing to hide, they should be thankful that they chose a provider who cares enough to make that difficult call on behalf of their child.

Maybe you should not have lied, but I completely understand why you did it and I don't judge you or think you are a bad person. Maybe if you said you called they would not come back, and something worse could happen to the child. CPS will not take a child away from a mother for a simple yeast infection or a diaper rash- but if they do find signs of sexual abuse, then you may have saved that child's life, and the future quality of her life.

You did the right thing. It was hard, and you did it! You should feel good about that!

What if it wasn't a diaper rash, but a clear hand-shaped bruise on the child's upper arm or back or rear end? Would you wait to call CPS and talk to the parents first? Or would you call immediately? We are mandated reporters--we are supposed to call CPS for even suspicions of abuse. That doesn't mean a clear pattern--abuse doesn't have to have a pattern to be wrong. ONCE is wrong.

And especially in the case of something like this, you don't even want to THINK that your delay in calling might mean it might happen again. I've never seen or heard of a diaper rash that looked bruised and was as localized as the OP described. A bleeding rash is one thing, those can happen pretty suddenly sometimes, but bruised? Not so much. Bruises require trauma. And if something happened that might have been traumatic to that area (say, an older child falling on something) then the father REALLY should have offered up an explanation instead of "she has a rash, there's cream" and zooming out asap.

I am so very sorry you are going through this. Not only with cps report but from some of the harsh replies on here.

I agree that you made the right call. And agree that you should have told the truth to the parents. But when we are put in a situation like this we sometimes panic and aren't quite sure what to say.

Most of us come on here for support and advice. Not to get judged or have harshness from others.

So even though most of us think you should have told the truth, I'm sure it will be a lesson learned.

(((HUGS)))

If a provider suspects, she should call. We are not doctors, health examiners, social workers. If this provider had a serious concern, she was well within her duty to call and get further advice.

Within reason.

If someone's dog is pooping in my yard I'm going to go talk to them and ask them to stop, not immediately call the FBI.


If she was unsure if the rash was yeast she could have (and should have IMHO) had them confirm with a qualified professional.

A CPS lady isn't a qualified professional in regards to determining what is yeast and what isn't.




Add to that the provider stating the family is "white trash" only serves to hurt her credibility and tarnish any moral intent being claimed here. Those who have stated yikes if the family finds this posting are correct. If I were this family and saw this I would assume I was being unfairly targeted as the provider obviously has a prejudice against them or she'd have never said such a thing in the first place. Racial, cultural and socio-economical differences can in certain circumstances be considered, but not in that sort of context.

(edited to add, I hope the thread isn't removed for that reason, or at least is kept somewhere it can be accessed should the family ever need it to use in their defense at some point)

I've screen shot this entire thread for that very reason.

What benefit does a screen shot do for you if you are not the OP or the parent?


....anyways, threads from the forum will NOT be deleted or removed. They can, however be locked if Admin feels they are getting out of hand.

I think that the provider had the best intentions with calling cps, and maybe there is more to the story that we do not know about, but with the information given I still feel that cps should not have been called at this time.

First of all this sounds like a classic yeast rash (see photo on this page http://www.babycenter.com/0_yeast-diaper-rash_10913.bc) Which nessesitated a trip to the doctor not a call to cps. The comment about the bruising seemed to be an afterthought in the post, not the main reason for the report. In fact bruising coloration could be in line with a yeast rash (red bruising?) Of course if there was bruising on the genitals I assume all of us would be calling cps!

calling cps is a HUGE responsibility and not to be taken lightly. Cps was called on a relative on mine due to a toddlers broken leg. Let me tell you the family was turned UPSIDE DOWN for the investigation (its still happening) and the parents do not have custody of the child for the remainder of the investigation. I understand the reason for the investigation but you need to think twice before ruining a happy family. A diaper rash does not even come close to something that should be reported unless it goes on for a long time and the parents are not addressing it.

Frankly, I assume we are all doing our best as providers, but lets educate ourselves about what needs to be reported and what constitutes abuse or neglect. I took an online course such as this one http://www.childabuseworkshop.com/ to be a certified teacher. Maybe it would be beneficial for everyone to learn about the signs of abuse.

I logged out for privacy. I feel that when you posted this to the forum you should have logged out to protect yourself. I would ask Michael to change this for you if possible.

I am glad you brought this to the board- its the place to come when you don't know. Just remember for some subjects to log out.

I can see how this just crept up on you unexpectedly- you had little time to process and training was not there for this type of problem or clear training.

Crystal- I think you came off harsh to this OP- she was looking for help, and put it out there the way she knew how- maybe not the way you would have- Op- stated she lacked experience with this situation. Telling the OP- Shame on you is as bad as the OP using "white trash" to describe her parents. Sometimes we all lack "words" to get the point across of what we are trying to say or describe. I am saying I did not like either of these terms but I understood them as how both of you wanted to get your point across- I feel for the OP because I think she lacks experience and was just trying to sort all of this out fast.

I feel OP you did the right thing, you were concerned and you called. I also feel that what is the point of being able to make these calls anonymously if your put in a position to lie. I don't feel that you lied to keep the income. I feel you lied to protect yourself, and the retaliation that could occur from a parent being ticked off from accusations.

Ideally- for a provider. Asking for a Dr.s written note of what is going on before returning to daycare AND....... being able to phone the DR. and give a heads up if you suspect- If the person does not bring the child to the DR then a call to CPS is made. Having this in your Contract would be ideal- Having this as protocol would be ideal. I think the only protocol I have found is that when you suspect you are mandated to make that call.

I think it takes a lot to make a call like that and for Most of us providers we are not going to make that call unless we feel there is a need. No one wants to hurt a family or child from making false accusations. Instinct told you to call and you did what you thought was in the best interest.

I too feel that under the circumstances that you should be working when that parent comes in again. You are the Director I take it and in charge and I also feel everyone should be called into a meeting to know what is going on and what to do in the event of an emergency situation ( the parent goes ballistic)

If you are thinking of not keeping someone then why are you? Tons of people looking for work, instead of complaining about someone that is not working out you should be retraining or moving the worker along. Never leave someone you have issues with in charge of that much responsibility.

OP I feel your heart is in the right place but your experience is still a work in progress. Learn from this and move on- You are in a position that you need to know what to do in these types of situations- have a plan, and until it happens to you we don't think much about it.

Please give an update when you can. I hope that little one is ok and it turns out to be just a very bad rash.