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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>The Mother I Gave A HUGE Break To LIED And Could Have Indeed Afforded My Rates
PeaceAndSpirit 10:34 AM 06-10-2012
Not only can she afford my rates, but was giving the person before me a lot MORE just to watch tv while children were there. but NEVER let on what she was paying her.
Here's the thing. I have been taking care of a family of 3 children. All of them are autistic on the asbeger's spectrum. A 2 yer old. A 5 year old. And a 6 year old.
I took care of 2 of the children 3 years ago. I am a former teacher. And the mother had approached me to care for them for a month.
At that time I charged her the going rate in my area with a discount. She is a single mother and so am I. He rmother and sister live in the apartment building I do and the mother usually cares for her children. But she said she had enough and left town.
The mother approached me 2 months ago, again to care for her now 3. She mentioned she did not have a lot of money (even though she got a promotion with her job making $11.50 hour). STILL. I heard her when she said she could not pay me what she did before and was sympathetic. i was thinking, this poor woman. I Do need the extra money, but was trying to do a good thing.
I asked her what SHE felt comfortable paying or could pay. She was silent, NEVER mentioning the woman previous to me. Acting like she didn't know what to expect. then told me to come up with something. I first said $150.00 a week for ALL 3A bargain! They arrive at 5:30 and leave around 3:30 -4:00. The 3 year old is in diapers and I provide before and after care for the 2 older. AND food! I converted my den area into a little daycare with borders. music. toys. learning games. and I have already taugh tthe 2 year old to spell his name. Count and he is begininng to potty train. My home is clean, safe and loving.
Well. she was silent again when I quoted $150.00 and then sighed. I swallowed. Rememered moments wher eI had hard times and said "okay. how about $100 a week for all 3"?. That was okay.
And so it began.
Twice I got up at 4:45 to shower and begin my day with the children. only to have them NOt show up. Forst time I saw her mother had returned. -guess she didn't need me anymore. BUT neglected to tell me. Butthen her mom left. Next time I saw her putting the kids on the bus and when I asked why she didn't tell me, she said "oh! my phone was not working at home and my cell phone died." then in talking sh elet it slip her co-woker called to see if she could have her shift and I asked "well how did she get through". she actually was speechless. I told her I was being taken for granted and could not do it anymore. But she said she would not let it happen again.
In the meantime, I am being punched, kicked slapped, and hit daily by the 2 year old, if he cannot have his way. And the older boy at least twice a week will refuse to go to school. which entails me literally picking him up kicking and screaming and carrying him all the way to the bus stop while TRYING to hold on to the 2 year old's hand becasue I cannot leave him home alone. Or if he cannot have his way will TRASH my home! I have lost precious photos, and belongings. Not to mention my poor litle dog being kicked and punched. THAT was it! i was raising my rates after a month notice.
SHe was full aware of ALL of the shenanagins. But I called her and told her we needed to talk. Well before I could talk to her, she started telling me how bad her finanaces were horrible. This was also a 2 weeks before school has ended becasue she KNEW she would have to pay more with the older 2 being here. OH! I also take them swimming here at our pool. She cried. I caved.
Besides her not letting me know I was off. OR paying me late in the day when she promised in the early morning (she even was here!) I am totally beside myself now.
She called yesterday to see what I would be charging her for the summer. And also to let ask if she could now pay me every other week because she is so broke. in the meantime when I gave her sister a bag of food for her because she told me she didn't have food in her house, her sister said her pantry is stocked like a grocery store. And that she gets a lot of money for her 3 children being autistic, and child support - besides her paycheck!
I began telling her I could no longer give her a break. And she said "well could I give you what I gave the woman who kept them last year during school when my mom was away - $15 PEr child?" PER CHILD! she told me she was giving the woman $15 for the day. I remended her when she said "i am so broke. my other babysitter(hated that one) only charged me $15." that implies it was for the day or why else would she say it. NOW I find out she could have afforded to give me MORe, gave it to someone else, but played ME for a fool!
And I let her. I am confused, angry and HURT! I was trying to do a good thing.
I have a really bad taste in my mouth right now. i even slpet on it an woke up angrier. IT IS my fault for bargaining. But as all of you know. We may bargain for a yard sale item, or material sales, but how can someone EVER bargain for someone to care for the most important thing/person in their lives. yet I allowed it because I beleived her lies! AND she is taking he rfamily to Disneyland this summer. I can't even afford that.
Again. It was my fault to agree to lowering her fee. But when I found out yesterday she COULD have been giving ME at least $15.00 per child per day - instead of the measly $100 for a week food included - I lost ALL respect for her. She was able to give it to the woman who she said watched tv and never took the kids anywhere. But not to me who adores her children, and gives quality care. Wanna know why. because i am nice. and too easy! NO MORE!
As much as I need money, I really do not want to provide care for her anymore. I am not at the point where things are really bad. I am comfortable.
And of course the extra money was vacation money. But at what cost.
I feel like a fool.
I know it is last minute. But I want to call her and let her know I feel taken advantage of and for granted. And I cannot do it anymore. Not even nest week!
your thoughts
thanks so much!
sorry so long. just really confused and hurt.
Here's the thing. I have been taking care of a family of 3 children. All of them are autistic on the asbeger's spectrum. A 2 yer old. A 5 year old. And a 6 year old.
I took care of 2 of the children 3 years ago. I am a former teacher. And the mother had approached me to care for them for a month.
At that time I charged her the going rate in my area with a discount. She is a single mother and so am I. He rmother and sister live in the apartment building I do and the mother usually cares for her children. But she said she had enough and left town.
The mother approached me 2 months ago, again to care for her now 3. She mentioned she did not have a lot of money (even though she got a promotion with her job making $11.50 hour). STILL. I heard her when she said she could not pay me what she did before and was sympathetic. i was thinking, this poor woman. I Do need the extra money, but was trying to do a good thing.
I asked her what SHE felt comfortable paying or could pay. She was silent, NEVER mentioning the woman previous to me. Acting like she didn't know what to expect. then told me to come up with something. I first said $150.00 a week for ALL 3A bargain! They arrive at 5:30 and leave around 3:30 -4:00. The 3 year old is in diapers and I provide before and after care for the 2 older. AND food! I converted my den area into a little daycare with borders. music. toys. learning games. and I have already taugh tthe 2 year old to spell his name. Count and he is begininng to potty train. My home is clean, safe and loving.
Well. she was silent again when I quoted $150.00 and then sighed. I swallowed. Rememered moments wher eI had hard times and said "okay. how about $100 a week for all 3"?. That was okay.
And so it began.
Twice I got up at 4:45 to shower and begin my day with the children. only to have them NOt show up. Forst time I saw her mother had returned. -guess she didn't need me anymore. BUT neglected to tell me. Butthen her mom left. Next time I saw her putting the kids on the bus and when I asked why she didn't tell me, she said "oh! my phone was not working at home and my cell phone died." then in talking sh elet it slip her co-woker called to see if she could have her shift and I asked "well how did she get through". she actually was speechless. I told her I was being taken for granted and could not do it anymore. But she said she would not let it happen again.
In the meantime, I am being punched, kicked slapped, and hit daily by the 2 year old, if he cannot have his way. And the older boy at least twice a week will refuse to go to school. which entails me literally picking him up kicking and screaming and carrying him all the way to the bus stop while TRYING to hold on to the 2 year old's hand becasue I cannot leave him home alone. Or if he cannot have his way will TRASH my home! I have lost precious photos, and belongings. Not to mention my poor litle dog being kicked and punched. THAT was it! i was raising my rates after a month notice.
SHe was full aware of ALL of the shenanagins. But I called her and told her we needed to talk. Well before I could talk to her, she started telling me how bad her finanaces were horrible. This was also a 2 weeks before school has ended becasue she KNEW she would have to pay more with the older 2 being here. OH! I also take them swimming here at our pool. She cried. I caved.
Besides her not letting me know I was off. OR paying me late in the day when she promised in the early morning (she even was here!) I am totally beside myself now.
She called yesterday to see what I would be charging her for the summer. And also to let ask if she could now pay me every other week because she is so broke. in the meantime when I gave her sister a bag of food for her because she told me she didn't have food in her house, her sister said her pantry is stocked like a grocery store. And that she gets a lot of money for her 3 children being autistic, and child support - besides her paycheck!
I began telling her I could no longer give her a break. And she said "well could I give you what I gave the woman who kept them last year during school when my mom was away - $15 PEr child?" PER CHILD! she told me she was giving the woman $15 for the day. I remended her when she said "i am so broke. my other babysitter(hated that one) only charged me $15." that implies it was for the day or why else would she say it. NOW I find out she could have afforded to give me MORe, gave it to someone else, but played ME for a fool!
And I let her. I am confused, angry and HURT! I was trying to do a good thing.
I have a really bad taste in my mouth right now. i even slpet on it an woke up angrier. IT IS my fault for bargaining. But as all of you know. We may bargain for a yard sale item, or material sales, but how can someone EVER bargain for someone to care for the most important thing/person in their lives. yet I allowed it because I beleived her lies! AND she is taking he rfamily to Disneyland this summer. I can't even afford that.
Again. It was my fault to agree to lowering her fee. But when I found out yesterday she COULD have been giving ME at least $15.00 per child per day - instead of the measly $100 for a week food included - I lost ALL respect for her. She was able to give it to the woman who she said watched tv and never took the kids anywhere. But not to me who adores her children, and gives quality care. Wanna know why. because i am nice. and too easy! NO MORE!
As much as I need money, I really do not want to provide care for her anymore. I am not at the point where things are really bad. I am comfortable.
And of course the extra money was vacation money. But at what cost.
I feel like a fool.
I know it is last minute. But I want to call her and let her know I feel taken advantage of and for granted. And I cannot do it anymore. Not even nest week!
your thoughts
thanks so much!
sorry so long. just really confused and hurt.
Ariana 12:24 PM 06-10-2012
I would absolutely terminate my relationship with this person.
Michael 02:06 PM 06-10-2012
Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I've upgraded your status. You can post freely now.
Buxterboo 02:13 PM 06-10-2012
Oh man, Im sorry she took advantage of you like that! It makes it hard for people who really DO need help when there are women like that in the world. Is this the first family you have had? I am brand new, so I am a bit nervous about having a lot of these trypes of situations...
saved4always 02:43 PM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I would absolutely terminate my relationship with this person.
I would absolutely terminate my relationship with this person.
Totally agree with this! Things like this are why I did not give price breaks. The couple of times I have done favors on my rates, I was taken advantage of big time. It is sad, but it does make providers less willing to help the next family with a hard luck story when someone has played them like that.
momma2girls 08:47 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
Totally agree with this! Things like this are why I did not give price breaks. The couple of times I have done favors on my rates, I was taken advantage of big time. It is sad, but it does make providers less willing to help the next family with a hard luck story when someone has played them like that.
I was the same way, I felt sorry for one family, that didn't have much money to pay me. They had written me a bad check so I went down $10.00 a week for her. Then the next week, the little girl started dance- ughh!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!! ANother time, I gave a break to someone, and they kept adding more and more hrs. to their drop off and pick up times!! Totally agree with this! Things like this are why I did not give price breaks. The couple of times I have done favors on my rates, I was taken advantage of big time. It is sad, but it does make providers less willing to help the next family with a hard luck story when someone has played them like that.
Blackcat31 03:30 PM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I would absolutely terminate my relationship with this person.
This totally! You are worth your time and services and don't let anyone tell you differently! I would absolutely terminate my relationship with this person.
Also, Welcome to the forum!
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:42 PM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This totally! You are worth your time and services and don't let anyone tell you differently!
Also, Welcome to the forum!
Amen.This totally! You are worth your time and services and don't let anyone tell you differently!
Also, Welcome to the forum!
I would terminate and I would tell her why. I feel so sad for you.
I make $100/week for M/W/F care from 8:00AM-5:00PM for 1 child. 1. Please do not lower your rates like that again. You are worth so much more.
SilverSabre25 07:56 PM 06-10-2012
With the rates around here, I would be charging
$120 for the 3 yo
$75 for EACH of the SA's during the school year, $120 EACH during the summer.
It's okay to offer a break to people, but it's clear that this lady did not deserve your kindness, generosity, or compassion.
So sorry you went through this. Some people suck.
$120 for the 3 yo
$75 for EACH of the SA's during the school year, $120 EACH during the summer.
It's okay to offer a break to people, but it's clear that this lady did not deserve your kindness, generosity, or compassion.
So sorry you went through this. Some people suck.
Kaddidle Care 03:08 AM 06-11-2012
If she was really that bad off she could have applied for subsidy. The fact that she did not was a clue that she was bluffing.
I'm sorry you were taken advantage of. It's happened to us all.
It's time to write it all off as a business decision but I personally would let her know the reason for it.
I'm sorry you were taken advantage of. It's happened to us all.
It's time to write it all off as a business decision but I personally would let her know the reason for it.
My3cents 05:00 PM 06-11-2012
Advertise and take on some new clients, if your not licensed get that done first. Have a contract, handbook, policy book. Set your prices and stick to it. You want to do daycare, do it well and for those who appreciate you. Don't negotiate prices, your worth what you set as a price. You work hard. Take classes and Welcome--- Great place to get you moving in the right direction
Get rid of that family or give her the chance to pay what your are fairly owed. Nothing less then $120 per child, esp for high needs. Set your hours with her too. I am open from blah blah blah to blah blah blah. Best-
Get rid of that family or give her the chance to pay what your are fairly owed. Nothing less then $120 per child, esp for high needs. Set your hours with her too. I am open from blah blah blah to blah blah blah. Best-
Unregistered 05:37 AM 06-12-2012
Well.. Her story has gotten even MORE shadier.
I found out this morning she is getting $15.00 per child form a childcare network form the state. Her Mother was supposed to be receiving that money. However her Mother left to go to the Dominican Republic 2 months ago. I KNOW she has not told the state her Mother left. AND also I was suppossed to paid that money. And NOT what she was paying me.
I have not kept her children since this discovery. They were not here Monday or today.
But I did asked her to call me so we can talk.
I just don't understand how someone could do something like this.
I found out this morning she is getting $15.00 per child form a childcare network form the state. Her Mother was supposed to be receiving that money. However her Mother left to go to the Dominican Republic 2 months ago. I KNOW she has not told the state her Mother left. AND also I was suppossed to paid that money. And NOT what she was paying me.
I have not kept her children since this discovery. They were not here Monday or today.
But I did asked her to call me so we can talk.
I just don't understand how someone could do something like this.
Blackcat31 06:01 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well.. Her story has gotten even MORE shadier.
I found out this morning she is getting $15.00 per child form a childcare network form the state. Her Mother was supposed to be receiving that money. However her Mother left to go to the Dominican Republic 2 months ago. I KNOW she has not told the state her Mother left. AND also I was suppossed to paid that money. And NOT what she was paying me.
I have not kept her children since this discovery. They were not here Monday or today.
But I did asked her to call me so we can talk.
I just don't understand how someone could do something like this.
Sounds to me like she is committing fraud and this is something you should report her for. Well.. Her story has gotten even MORE shadier.
I found out this morning she is getting $15.00 per child form a childcare network form the state. Her Mother was supposed to be receiving that money. However her Mother left to go to the Dominican Republic 2 months ago. I KNOW she has not told the state her Mother left. AND also I was suppossed to paid that money. And NOT what she was paying me.
I have not kept her children since this discovery. They were not here Monday or today.
But I did asked her to call me so we can talk.
I just don't understand how someone could do something like this.
Not only is it unethical but it is illegal so I think you are smart to stop any and all services as well as report her to the proper authorities.