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mrsnj 05:09 AM 02-14-2014
Yesterday was a blessed snow day. No kids. And when I woke I was overjoyed cause I knew it would be an A-free day. A is undiagnosed add/ADHD and sometimes she wears me out. She is highly impulsive. Hands on. Does without thinking. My day is spent repeating things over and over and over. She hurts the other kids by pushing n hitting n kicking n pulling n bossing when she thinks no one is watching so I have to have her in sight at all times which was my downfall on Wednesday. Daddy allowed her to bring hand sanitizer n crayons. Not even going into that but I guess I have to pat her down now. She got into my paint while I changed diapers n painted a toddlers face then lied n said it was the toddler only the proof was in past paint crimes by her.....and her hands. Then she thought it would be fun to get the other kids up during nap n run around. That was a hard lesson to learn for those stupid enough to follow her. Today she gets naptime by me as this is a recurrent issue lately. I cannot get her to focus on learning and so she is behind. I could tell her "This is the number 6"....do work, songs,games etc but in the end she will still say "that's a circle". I have tried punishment n rewards. I try giving her special jobs to keep her busy but in the end she is tiring n frustrating n I am dreading today. mom n dad know there is an issue but they focus more on their divorce issues instead of their child's issue. A just got glasses n mom says "maybe it will help with her behavior". You know I wanted to laugh at that. She spends her days in time out and her nights indulged cause mom wants to shut her up. Did I mention I am dreading today ?! next yr makes me sad. She will be in kinder. She will be behind and she will give her teacher a run for her money. A will learn what noon room is and the office n it kinda breaks my heart. I wish I could smack her parents. Daddy is ADHD n on meds himself. I'm not sure what they r waiting for. But I am happy today is Friday
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MotherNature 06:21 AM 02-14-2014
Sorry you're having to pick up the slack for her parents. To me, that's cruel for a kid to needlessly suffer. Especially since they know there's issues. I think most parents are either over-aware of disorders and illnesses or strive to remain ignorant. Couldn't happen to their precious pookie, their perfect snowflake. Never! I termed my first family for this sort of stuff. He had a lot of issues & was getting worse. He had to be somewhere on the spectrum/ sensory issues. Eventually he got increasingly violent & he hit me. Immediate termination. I put up with it for 10 mos..mom dismissing my concerns, even when even she couldn't understand him, his drooling at 3, his stimming behaviours, and either staring off into space or just quoting tv shows over and over. Mom would just set him in front of the tv. ugh.
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mrsnj 06:48 AM 02-14-2014
I have had that too. Two possible autistic kids. One who could not speak or understand. More extreme. Mom in denial. And another who still comes for before/after. He is repeating kinder but should be in 1st. Very bright when learning repetitive. But cannot speak well or communicate well. Still is not potty trained. You can see he is 'slow'. He is now biting in school! Biting in kinder at age 6 almost 7. But 'nothing is wrong with him'. Hes a sweet kid and it breaks my heart they try to brush it off and ignore it. I don't understand accepting. My son is auditory processing with some sensory issues and I found it a blessing to finally have an answer and to understand. Now I could work with him. My son is special and wonderful and loves learning now. I guess I just can't wrap my mind around it. A is a sweet child. But she will have major issue next year all based around her behavior and her behavior is effecting her learning. I'm sure though it will end up being my fault or dads fault or...... cause she needs new glasses But in the end A will have a rough start and its not right.
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mrsnj 07:55 AM 02-14-2014
Well I guess I don't have long to worry about it. They are over 2 and 1/2 hours late. I texted mom and said I assume they are not coming. Oh yes....'when they get done'. Get done what? The morning is half over. Let take bets on if they come having breakfast or with it in hand? Talk about disturbing my day!
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TheGoodLife 08:42 AM 02-14-2014
I would text back, "OK, remember that breakfast was over at X o'clock and they are not allowed to bring food with them so they will have to eat before they arrive. Please let me know a definite time when you are coming. Thanks." For me, I'd also throw in the nap time as I do not allow DO or PUs during that time
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Blackcat31 09:29 AM 02-14-2014
How old is this child?

It doesn't sound like ADD/ADHD to me but more of a discipline issue. Sounds to me like there is no plan for behavioral management at home.

Kids under SA are suppose to be impulsive, not ready to sit and learn, not keep their hands to themselves and be wild and crazy if they think they aren't being supervised.

Most cases of ADD/ADHD can't be properly diagnosed until age 7 when the child has been in an environment that requires them to have some impulse control.

Like I said, it simply sounds like this family is a walking case of chaos. Something that needs to reining in but not something that requires a diagnosis or medication.

Poor kid.
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mrsnj 09:38 AM 02-14-2014
Oh nooooooo.....she is ADD/ADHD. ADD/Inattentive if you ask me to diagnose. She cannot focus. Her issues scream a problem with clear signs if you were to produce a checklist. BUT I agree. Moms 'lets be friends' tude does not help matters. Mom is lazy and the divorce parents I am always complaining about. She is lazy and could care less about what is important. Dad isn't as bad. He doesn't allow a lot of the things. Weds issues would have been punished had HE picked up. Mom just gives her a look and changes the subject. I know it was laughed off and ignored.

They still aren't here. I kinda sent the above text but in regard to lunch! She finally calls and says the oldest had a dr appointment. 1:45. They will be here after. I said...um...thats naptime. Well she can't do anything about that. (Like HELL) Said don't bring during naps! Reminded her when naps were. Suggested dropping before. don't ring my bell at 2:20! Just saying. Either come prior or after. This woman is going to give me grey hair! (if her child doesn't )
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NeedaVaca 09:48 AM 02-14-2014
How old is the child?
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mrsnj 10:15 AM 02-14-2014
Shes 5
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daycarediva 11:08 AM 02-14-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How old is this child?

It doesn't sound like ADD/ADHD to me but more of a discipline issue. Sounds to me like there is no plan for behavioral management at home.

Kids under SA are suppose to be impulsive, not ready to sit and learn, not keep their hands to themselves and be wild and crazy if they think they aren't being supervised.

Most cases of ADD/ADHD can't be properly diagnosed until age 7 when the child has been in an environment that requires them to have some impulse control.

Like I said, it simply sounds like this family is a walking case of chaos. Something that needs to reining in but not something that requires a diagnosis or medication.

Poor kid.
I agree with this.

I also think that developmentally, she may not be there yet and that's ok. It is VERY hard for young children to sit still and listen, and that's developmentally appropriate. I run a preschool program as well, and definitely have a wide variety of learners. I have one child who can just see it, and she will be able to remember and write it. Others need more time, others need to feel/do (so we write in shaving cream, or use tactile letters, or roll a ball for circle, etc.)

How long are you asking her to sit for?

I may have read your post wrong, are you punishing her for not knowing the correct answers?

Are you doing dittos and worksheets, or are you incorporating different learning styles in as well?

Is Kindy mandatory in your state? She may be able to wait another year, until she is more ready to handle high pressure academics.

Have you flat out asked the parents to have her tested for ADHD? Most places wont diagnose until they are 7-8.

I am also very anti medication for children this young, ESPECIALLY when it sounds like it's more of a behavioral issue vs a developmental one.
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mrsnj 11:26 AM 02-14-2014
No. LOL I don't think you read it right. I don't punish kids for not picking up learning activities. Not sure where you got that.

We do all kinds of activities from worksheets to hands on to songs to books etc based on whatever it is we are learning.
Kinder is not mandatory in any state. But mom will not opt to keep her here. She won't want to have to pay another yr. I have discussed it with mom. Gmom has even brought it up to me as well as dad. Mom knows is it possible. But hasn't mentioned it to the dr. It isn't her focus. And I doubt it will be next yr or the yr after. (Are you picking a theme on my views of mom yet?) It will be several calls and many in class issues and it will be dad who will follow up.

I agree on the medications. I think it is a fix all result overly used. But they can do modifications, behavior activities and I am thinking gummys for breakfast might not be the best thing for her. Get what I mean.
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Daycaregranny 11:31 AM 02-14-2014
Ok I know I'm probably going to get slammed for suggesting this but........have her parents ever tried giving her coffee? The only reason I'm even throwing this out there is I had a family that used to do this with their 3 year old. Caffeine actually has a calming effect on people with add/adhd. It's also a way to see if stimulants work to alieviate some symptoms. It also was a safer way for this family to help their child without dangerous medications. Just a thought.
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Unregistered 11:57 AM 02-14-2014
I've heard of that being used. I doubt they do it though (maybe it should be her snack time treat lol )
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CraftyMom 12:27 PM 02-14-2014
Originally Posted by Daycaregranny:
Ok I know I'm probably going to get slammed for suggesting this but........have her parents ever tried giving her coffee? The only reason I'm even throwing this out there is I had a family that used to do this with their 3 year old. Caffeine actually has a calming effect on people with add/adhd. It's also a way to see if stimulants work to alieviate some symptoms. It also was a safer way for this family to help their child without dangerous medications. Just a thought.

That made me laugh picturing a 3 year old with a cup of coffee! I can see where you're going though. ADHD meds are stimulants (speed essentially) when taken by someone who needs them for ADHD they halve a calming effect allowing them to focus. When taken and the person does not have ADHD they have the opposite effect.
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daycarediva 12:32 PM 02-14-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
No. LOL I don't think you read it right. I don't punish kids for not picking up learning activities. Not sure where you got that.

We do all kinds of activities from worksheets to hands on to songs to books etc based on whatever it is we are learning.
Kinder is not mandatory in any state. But mom will not opt to keep her here. She won't want to have to pay another yr. I have discussed it with mom. Gmom has even brought it up to me as well as dad. Mom knows is it possible. But hasn't mentioned it to the dr. It isn't her focus. And I doubt it will be next yr or the yr after. (Are you picking a theme on my views of mom yet?) It will be several calls and many in class issues and it will be dad who will follow up.

I agree on the medications. I think it is a fix all result overly used. But they can do modifications, behavior activities and I am thinking gummys for breakfast might not be the best thing for her. Get what I mean.
Gotcha. I have a Mom that's the same way. She has "no clue" where little Jr got his recent love of guns, killing, blood and zombies from. I have a clue (actually proof she is FULLY aware)
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Angelsj 08:29 PM 02-14-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How old is this child?

It doesn't sound like ADD/ADHD to me but more of a discipline issue. Sounds to me like there is no plan for behavioral management at home.

Kids under SA are suppose to be impulsive, not ready to sit and learn, not keep their hands to themselves and be wild and crazy if they think they aren't being supervised.

Most cases of ADD/ADHD can't be properly diagnosed until age 7 when the child has been in an environment that requires them to have some impulse control.

Like I said, it simply sounds like this family is a walking case of chaos. Something that needs to reining in but not something that requires a diagnosis or medication.

Poor kid.
Typically, I would agree with you, and they don't diagnose true AD/HD until school age, until I met my current 2.5 yo. Trust me when I say this child WILL be diagnosed true AD/HD. There are some discipline issues, but for the most part, he has excellent parents who care a great deal, do NOT push them off on others, spend a lot of time with the kids and have a wonderful discipline policy. He is still way over the top. He can be very sweet, but he just has such a hard time controlling himself and EVERYTHING riles him up, and he just cannot wind down without help.

They are using a therapist to help teach themselves how to better help him. That is quality parenting.
That said, I don't necessarily disagree with you. "A" may just be suffering from bad parenting. It is an epidemic.
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Blackcat31 08:44 AM 02-15-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
Typically, I would agree with you, and they don't diagnose true AD/HD until school age, until I met my current 2.5 yo. Trust me when I say this child WILL be diagnosed true AD/HD. There are some discipline issues, but for the most part, he has excellent parents who care a great deal, do NOT push them off on others, spend a lot of time with the kids and have a wonderful discipline policy. He is still way over the top. He can be very sweet, but he just has such a hard time controlling himself and EVERYTHING riles him up, and he just cannot wind down without help.

They are using a therapist to help teach themselves how to better help him. That is quality parenting.
That said, I don't necessarily disagree with you. "A" may just be suffering from bad parenting. It is an epidemic.
Perfect example of what I meant. He has all the other things going on....good parenting, involved doctor's and therapists, a plan for behavior.

When all that isn't enough, it's pretty safe to say he probably has ADD/ADHD.

The way the OP explained her situation, the child had NONE of those things and was simply being "labeled" as ADD/ADHD because of their behaviors.

I truly believe ALL else should be addressed BEFORE jumping to the letter bandwagon...kwim?

From her description of the child's home life, it just sounded like chaotic parenting with little or no routine, discipline and/or guidance.

So yes, I think we ARE agreeing. Just saying it differently.
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