How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Leanna]

Buuut...it looks like rain today. We've had a lot of rain lately here in NY. Good napping weather

I found this post bc I have a DS that is a 3 yr old non-sleeper. (I also have a 2 yr old that sleeps all the time). My DS stopped taking daily naps at 15 months. I fought it for months. You name it, i tried it...black out curtains, white noise, me lying in bed with him, CIO in his bed, i even tried introducing a mid-day bath routine. I did this bc I felt like he needed a nap because from 5:30-7pm (lights out), he was a TERROR (actually he was just overtired, and i felt it was my fault for not getting him to sleep.

It was such a stressful time, and it got particularly bad bc if I left him in his room to CIO during rest/nap time, he would disturb my DD would LOVED her nap. I finally just stopped trying around when he turned 2. I just allowed him to stay downstairs and not disturb his sister and not yell. It worked out ok, I so wish I could have kept the nap in his schedule bc it really limited out lives and it made dinner/evenings intolerable. Mostly I just felt bad for DS. I took him to the ped on several appts and even requested a sleep study (came back normal). He finally started STTN at 3 yrs, but that is about 1 time a week and he suffers from frequent bouts of sleep walking. We joke that god gave us DD (an amazing sleeper) to equal out our exhaustion. As an aside, it used to drive me crazy when people would offer advise on how to get him to go to sleep. Believe me when I tell you that I tried everything...we had hours of outdoor exercise, an outing EVERY, SINGLE, MORNING. Friends would text me that their kids were out cold after going to the park, zoo, museum, etc with me and my son during the morning. And I would be left with a wide awake toddler looking for more stimulation.

Anyways, I LOVE my children dearly, but I can say through personal experience, even a loving mother has difficulty dealing with a non-napper every day! I dont care what you call rest/break/nap time, it is so important to caregiver and child and noone should say that providers are just kicking back during that time! I cannot imagine putting the onerous of a non-napping child on a in home daycare provider. Mostly because I don't think it would allow the child or provide to but their best self forward.

I actually found this thread because I will be returning to work in a few months. DS had a nanny for his first year, then I became a SAHM for two years. Now that I am looking at going back to work, I was researching other people's experience with non-napping children. At first I considered a nanny, but I want my kids to have friends/social aspect. As much as I would love an in home provider (family environment, siblings stay together, less germs) I just think my son's special sleep requirements merit center care. Kudos to any in home provider that does non-nappers...I could barely handle it with my own child!

Eta: I think my DS is amazing- his non-sleeper status has been a tough pill to swallow, but he has excelled in many other areas...walked at 8.5 months, toilet trained (including night time at 17 months), began riding 2-wheeler (no training wheels) at 22 months, could do a handstand at 2.5, unbuckled carseat at 2, you get the picture...he is a gross motor all-star. I've often wondered if this is related to his non-sleeper status- just needs more activity than other kids.

[MotherNature]

Look for someone that has experience dealing with high need/ spirited kids. My son, 3, doesn't nap. If he does, he's up til 11 like clockwork. He is the reason I started my business. I knew that no one would put up with his energy levels. He's exhausting at times. It's getting better as he gets older though, but he stopped with naps at 2 & a half. My husband & I were distraught & tried everything, short of CIO. (We don't believe in that as a positive technique.) We finally just gave up & let him just go to bed by 8. we keep to a routine, as that's what he needs & he is fine. He gets tired around 4, but if he sleeps, he's up til 11 or later..Could be you have a high need kid as well. Also, we still cosleep/bedshare ( & my husband & I are still sexually active-imagine! I'm pregnant, in fact.) & that makes sleeping alone difficult for him. I also nurse him still & it's difficult to comfort other kids at naptime while trying to nurse him to sleep. No, he has no self soothe 'button.' He never has. Some kids don't & it takes them much longer to learn that art. He's gotten better & learned more as he gets older, but he's still not a good self soother. I recognize that, which is why I stay at home with him. Anyway, ancient thread, but felt I should answer the last poster. Good luck!

[lovemykidstoo]

I just happened upon this thread. I have twin dcg's age 4 yrs. They come twice a week and last week mom said that she had asked them if they nap here because on those 2 days they won't go to bed. I have them all lay down for "rest" time, but I don't mandate that they fall asleep. Sometimes they do fall asleep. I have an in-home daycare and I do it alone, so rest time is the only time I get to eat my lunch and clean up and get things done. So am I supposed to have 2 four year olds follow me around while the others are sleeping? Even if I get them to do something quiet, they will be asking me a 100 questions. Any thoughts?

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo

I just happened upon this thread. I have twin dcg's age 4 yrs. They come twice a week and last week mom said that she had asked them if they nap here because on those 2 days they won't go to bed. I have them all lay down for "rest" time, but I don't mandate that they fall asleep. Sometimes they do fall asleep. I have an in-home daycare and I do it alone, so rest time is the only time I get to eat my lunch and clean up and get things done. So am I supposed to have 2 four year olds follow me around while the others are sleeping? Even if I get them to do something quiet, they will be asking me a 100 questions. Any thoughts?

I have several children that do not sleep at rest time.

I play audio books on CD so they can lay down quietly and listen to the stories being played.

If a child cannot lie quietly and listen to the stories for the duration of nap time, then I would suggest to the parents that the child(ren) have outgrown my program and need to find an alternate care arrangements.

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I have several children that do not sleep at rest time.

I play audio books on CD so they can lay down quietly and listen to the stories being played.

If a child cannot lie quietly and listen to the stories for the duration of nap time, then I would suggest to the parents that the child(ren) have outgrown my program and need to find an alternate care arrangements.

Do all of your kids sleep in the same room? How exactly do you do the audio tapes? Do they have headphones? How long are the audio tapes?

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo

Do all of your kids sleep in the same room? How exactly do you do the audio tapes? Do they have headphones? How long are the audio tapes?

My under 2 kids sleep in one room. My over 2 kids sleep in the same room.

I buy books on CD from Scholastic, load them into my laptop and burn up to 10 stories onto one CD.

I play the CD player on a low volume setting so the kids kind of have to lie still in order to hear the words. The kids sleep on mats and sometimes the ones that toss and turn will be so noisy about it that the others can't hear the story so I keep the volume low so it "inspires" the kids to lie still.

The CD's can be as long or as short as I want....it just depends on how many I can fit on one CD.

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

My under 2 kids sleep in one room. My over 2 kids sleep in the same room.

I buy books on CD from Scholastic, load them into my laptop and burn up to 10 stories onto one CD.

I play the CD player on a low volume setting so the kids kind of have to lie still in order to hear the words. The kids sleep on mats and sometimes the ones that toss and turn will be so noisy about it that the others can't hear the story so I keep the volume low so it "inspires" the kids to lie still.

The CD's can be as long or as short as I want....it just depends on how many I can fit on one CD.

I'll have to look into this. I dont' have anything to play them on though other than my laptop and I typically use that during rest time. Hmmm, gonna have to do some thinking. Thanks!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo

I'll have to look into this. I dont' have anything to play them on though other than my laptop and I typically use that during rest time. Hmmm, gonna have to do some thinking. Thanks!

Most DVD players play CD's.

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Most DVD players play CD's.

DUH! That's right. I have a very small tv/vcr in the playroom. I'll try that. Thanks!

[TaylorTots]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

If a child cannot lie quietly and listen to the stories for the duration of nap time, then I would suggest to the parents that the child(ren) have outgrown my program and need to find an alternate care arrangements.

Yep.

Thanks for your reply, I was hesitant to post on the thread that just won't go away. And although I am not a daycare provider, I feel like I have "walked the walked" with a non-napper. Believe me, there were months when I was in the denial period (maybe if I get/do x, y, z he will sleep) that were hard on both me and my poor son. I think when I moved to accepting that his napping days were gone, we were both able to move on.

He now plays with his wooden train set everyday, during DD's nap time. He is completely independent and doesn't bother dd or require my attention. He just needed to have more freedom to move/play during this time. I really doubt that this could work in an in home daycare. I'm even running into problems with my ONE other child (as opposed to the many other children that would be in a daycare setting) getting jealous of DS skipping nap time. I tell her that her special time is when ds goes to sleep (7:30ish), she gets to stay up until 9 bc she napped. It's also one thing to have a whole separate floor to isolate my sleepr from my non-sleeper. And I only have to worry about 1 sleeping!

I just got off the phone with the montessori program that my kids are scheduled to begin in Feb. she said he could move to the big kids classroom where napping wasn't required...I'm a bit worried about him being the youngest in the 3-6 yr old classroom, but it's much more palatable than worrying about making him nap!

This is a great thread. Thanks to all for posting.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

My son is 4 1/2 and is being forced to take naps by his daycare. He hasn't slept before 10:00 since preschool let out a month ago - and yes, he has a regular bedtime, he just cant sleep and is crying in his bed. There is no reason for a 4 year old child to take a nap other than the laziness of the daytime caretaker. My boy walked into daycare this morning (and many mornings before ) proclaiming that he wanted to sleep at night not in the day but once again his wish was not honored. I guess thats what minimum wage gets you.

They are not genies. They are daycare providers.
(Your wish is my command! )

[caregiver]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

They are not genies. They are daycare providers.
(Your wish is my command! )

I'm sorry, but if your not happy with his current daycare with nap time, change daycare's! It's as simple as that. I give naps to all my children and my parents are told that at their interview. I truly believe that all children (until around 5 yrs of age) need a rest time, whether it is just laying quietly for awhile and looking at a book or actually falling asleep. Their little bodies are still growing and need a rest time everyday.
Also, WE are daycare providers and if it was not for us,who would care for your child while your at work???? WE work very hard to give your child the best care while your at work,we get paid very little because you as a parent refuse to acknowledge our worth to you and parents are not willing to pay us what WE ARE worth! All I ever hear from parents is why should we pay you a lot for just watching our child. So they go for the cheapest one and the cheapest one might just be the best or the worst one,but to say that is what minimum wage gets you, is unfair!

Wow. i am surprised at the comments made by the parents on this thread.
Here in Maryland, we have RULES we have to follow. Rules put in place by the Department of Education.
If you don't like the rules at your child's school, can you go make them change the rules just to fit your child? i doubt it.
i too, have ONE parent, in over 20 years who is asking that i not give her child a ONE HOUR nap. Even though their child falls asleep right away, and even ASKS that i get out her cot, they are insisting that a nap is the reason she won't sleep at night. "She falls asleep fine on the week ends". I will tell you one thing...it is not healthy to allow a child to get so EXHAUSTED that they pass out at night.
Instead of blaming the provider "wanting a break", which, by the way is ridiculous, since i spend that time planning and preparing lessons and crafts, as well as watching over their sleeping babies, why not try planning a little routine themselves? And STICKING TO IT. You are the PARENT, not the FRIEND.
I hate to sound so cold, but if you don't like the rules at day care, stay home with your own children. Or hire a Nanny, who will follow YOUR rules. Providers have a tough job, for little pay. It is IMPOSSIBLE to make a separate rule for each child. There is no one more flexible than a day care provider, with many more children to take care of than just yours, but they have rules to follow too.