I have a dcm who is very rude about respecting my time. Shes always late, but I don't charge her fees bc shes a single mom and her child is great and he plays with my own dd while I get dinner ready and isn't really a nuisance.

But today is Halloween. Traffic is always bad so I feel she will be late. I have no candy to hand out and need to get to the store before the trick or treaters come. I text her and let her know that I need to leave my house at 5:00, and if she isn't going to be on time today, she needs to let me know so I can take my kids and dcb to the store quickly to get candy.

She never text me back. What do I do? If she's not here by 5:00 I need to leave, but I don't want to leave with her son without her permission. I don't want to be the house on the block with no Halloween candy for the kids, not to mention that I also have to get my kids ready for trick or treat. What should i do?

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Call her emergency contacts to pick him up if she is not there by 5:01.

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first off, I would not have asked her if she is going to be late today...... that's giving her permission to be late..

I would have said:

This is a friendly reminder that we close at 5:00pm. A late fee of $1.00 per min will be charged for those that arrive after this time. Please avoid this wicked fee and be on time to pick up your trick or treaters.........Happy Halloween.......

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Re-text. And re-text. Then email, then leave voicemail.

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I would leave at 5 and take her child with me if she doesn't show up on time. Leave a note on the door saying where you went and when you'll be back. Let her wait for you instead of you waiting for her. If you're uncomfortable leaving that info on the door, leave your cell # so she can call you.

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This is what I am inclined to do, I am just unsure of the ramifications of taking her son with me without getting her ok ahead of time. She signed an ok to transport waiver, just don't want to make her mad.

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I had a similar situation yesterday (where I live we did trick or treat last night).... this won't help you today, but I decided yesterday that when I do new contracts at the beginning of the year I am going to include something like "the day trick or treat is observed in MYTOWN will be an early close day, and all children will need to be picked up no later than 4:00." This way, I will have time to do the spooky dinner and trick or treat and all with no rushing, and no extras. I am learning I have to TAKE the breaks I want, because no one will give them to me without me asking.

As for today, I'd keep calling, and calling, and calling. It stinks when inconsiderate parents mess up our plans with our own kids.

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I would definitely text her again, and tell her you need to be closed by 5:00. I don't think you should offer to take her son with you, as that is giving her permission to arrive late. You gave her an alternative to being on time... so she probably won't be.

I would try to call her directly as well. And I would let her know that you will have to charge her a late fee, as her lateness is impacting your own family.

I think it is sweet of you to not charge her late fees b/c she is struggling financially; however, it sounds like she is taking advantage of your kindness by disrespting your own hours and personal family time.

Good luck!

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I would resend that text message hourly.

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I would not be so kind to resend the text message at all. One reminder is kind enough. Unfortunately, you have let this become a habit in the past, so the mother is used to getting away with it.

Maybe today has to be the day you put a stop to it. Send the reminder, and if she is late, you charge the fees..

I don't think it would be a huge deal if you didn't have candy to give out right at the start of trick or treating. And the way I see it, if mom is late, looks like she is going to be putting money towards your candy to hand out......

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I don't think you're taking her child without her ok. You've let her know you'll take him with you if she isn't there on time and she hasn't told you not to do that. If she isn't there, you're kind of out of options...take him with you or don't go. I would go. She has the option of showing up on time.

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I would leave by 5:00 (have kids in car by 4:58) and take him with you. If she has to wait for you, so be it... you have to wait for her most nights.

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Situations like this make me hate this job inconsiderate parents take all of the joy away. I am not a hard core rule enforcer by nature and I always try to do what I can for people and be kind and empathetic to their needs. This job is changing my nature and who I am and I hate it. I don't want to have to threaten dcm with fees etc bc she can't get her act together and arrive on time. Ugh!

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but if you don't then she is going to keep doing it.... YOu need to separate your emotions from this and view it from a business perspective!!! If you let their problems become yours, then you will hate this job and you will burn out on it really fast.

Don't let them mistaken your niceness as a weakness and put your foot down. If you want someone to listen, you need to get their attention and $$$ always seems to get it.

If you don't set consequences for their actions, then you are letting them get away with anything and everything.... Unfortunately, parents are just like the kids when it comes to following rules and being responsible for their actions. No consequences then why follow the rules and listen....

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If you have to take her child with you she still owes late fees until she has the child. So if it takes you 30 minutes she owes you 30 if she is in the drive when you get back

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IMHO, Until you are willing to fix this, nothing is ever going to change.

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Boo I know you all are right! It's hard with this particular dcm because I feel so bad for her since she's a single mom, her kids so sweet, and she's a friend of a friend and does nice things like giving my kids gifts on holidays and passing down a bunch of cute clothes for my new baby. The lateness only really bothers me when I have plans, but I get what you are all saying. I am just as much the problem.

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I see what you are saying...if you are this close with the DCM then maybe you can have a heart to heart with her face to face.

just tell her, hey I don't mind that you run late from time to time, but when I have things planned, I really need you here on time. Let her know ahead of time when you have things planned and send her a kind reminder.

I have a DCK that I love sooo oooooooo much and the family that when I have to go about my daily life and they are here that I just take them with me. THe parents love that we can work it out and I dont mind at all...

talk to her about how you guys can take care of it. I feel that things don't always need to be handled the way that I had said before, but most of the time it is what gets the parents to follow your rules....

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This sounds like a good way to handle things.

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