Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OT- How Old To Leave Alone?
juliebug 05:24 PM 07-14-2012
This is for my own children not dcks How old would you child have to be to stay home alone.
would it matter the time of day too? like in the middle of the night or during the day?
I ask because last night my husband was in pain and had to go to the emergency room, at 1am! So i woke the kids up and dropped them off at my moms house. we wavered but i thought this way i wouldn't have to worry about the kids, because i knew they were safe.
I hate to say but we might have to take him again.
The kids are 11yrs and 8 yrs old.
would it matter the time of day too? like in the middle of the night or during the day?
I ask because last night my husband was in pain and had to go to the emergency room, at 1am! So i woke the kids up and dropped them off at my moms house. we wavered but i thought this way i wouldn't have to worry about the kids, because i knew they were safe.
I hate to say but we might have to take him again.
The kids are 11yrs and 8 yrs old.
cheerfuldom 06:36 PM 07-14-2012
Definitely take kids that young unless it was like a quick run to the gas station or something. I am very conservative on that though. I have no plans to leave my kids unattended at all for a looooong time.
AfterSchoolMom 06:36 PM 07-14-2012
I hope your DH will be ok!!
My oldest is 11 and I leave him for short periods (like if I have to go to the store). I don't go far and he knows my cell number.
My youngest is 9, and I'll leave him with his brother if I have to, say, go to a neighbor's house or if I'm going to the gym (also in my immediate neighborhood).
I wouldn't leave the 9 year old alone, though, and I wouldn't leave them at night just yet. We still get a sitter if we're going out for the evening.
I think, were I in your situation, I'd have done the same thing.
My oldest is 11 and I leave him for short periods (like if I have to go to the store). I don't go far and he knows my cell number.
My youngest is 9, and I'll leave him with his brother if I have to, say, go to a neighbor's house or if I'm going to the gym (also in my immediate neighborhood).
I wouldn't leave the 9 year old alone, though, and I wouldn't leave them at night just yet. We still get a sitter if we're going out for the evening.
I think, were I in your situation, I'd have done the same thing.
e.j. 07:01 PM 07-14-2012
My kids were 13 before I left them alone for any length of time but I tend to be a worrywart.
I would have done the same thing you did if I had been in your position. I wouldn't have wanted them to wake up in the middle of the night to find both of us gone. I also wouldn't want to wake them up to tell them we were going to the hospital, leaving them alone to worry about their dad at such young ages. I think you made the right decision. I hope your husband feels better soon.
I would have done the same thing you did if I had been in your position. I wouldn't have wanted them to wake up in the middle of the night to find both of us gone. I also wouldn't want to wake them up to tell them we were going to the hospital, leaving them alone to worry about their dad at such young ages. I think you made the right decision. I hope your husband feels better soon.
juliebug 07:14 PM 07-14-2012
yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
mema 08:17 PM 07-14-2012
Sorry to hear about your dh. Positive thoughts headed your way. ((hugs))
My kids are that age also. I will leave them if I just run to the gas station or the bank. I think the longest I've left them is 30 minutes and they know not to answer the door or phone (unless it has my number on it). I usually just let them watch a tv show because then I know they aren't causing trouble or fighting
If it was in the night like that tho, I wouldn't leave them.
My kids are that age also. I will leave them if I just run to the gas station or the bank. I think the longest I've left them is 30 minutes and they know not to answer the door or phone (unless it has my number on it). I usually just let them watch a tv show because then I know they aren't causing trouble or fighting
If it was in the night like that tho, I wouldn't leave them.
safechner 10:37 PM 07-14-2012
I wouldn't comfortable to leave my almost 10 and 11 years old daughters alone at home for a long time.
I have thought about leaving them home while they were in bed while I go work out for one hour (5am) but my husband won't let me. I feel my almost 10 years old can take care of her self and her oldest sister who has special needs. She is more mature than 9 years old. However, I do let them to stay in the car while I go pick up a few things in the store or returned items quickly. She would lock in with my key and she has my phone just in case. She would click "panic" on my key if stranger tried talk to her or something like that.
My husband and I would be comfortable for them to leave them home alone when my youngest daughter becomes 13 years old to be with her oldest sister if necessary.
I have thought about leaving them home while they were in bed while I go work out for one hour (5am) but my husband won't let me. I feel my almost 10 years old can take care of her self and her oldest sister who has special needs. She is more mature than 9 years old. However, I do let them to stay in the car while I go pick up a few things in the store or returned items quickly. She would lock in with my key and she has my phone just in case. She would click "panic" on my key if stranger tried talk to her or something like that.
My husband and I would be comfortable for them to leave them home alone when my youngest daughter becomes 13 years old to be with her oldest sister if necessary.
saved4always 05:45 AM 07-15-2012
I am so sorry you husband is feeling ill. I hope that he is better soon and that another er trip is not needed!
I think I did not leave my kids home alone until the oldest was 12. And then it was only for an hour during the day at most and then we worked up to evenings. He had to watch his 3 year old sister though, which I needed to be comfortable with before I would leave them. My middle child would have been 10 then. My youngest is now 10 1/2 and I haven't even considered leaving her alone at any time...of course, she would be truly alone if her brothers are not here. At that beginning point, I would probably have left them with a neighbor to go to the ER and possibly called a relative to get them from there if needed. I would have been too nervous about how long we would be to leave them alone. But I am a worrier so I may be more conservative about this than other.
I think I did not leave my kids home alone until the oldest was 12. And then it was only for an hour during the day at most and then we worked up to evenings. He had to watch his 3 year old sister though, which I needed to be comfortable with before I would leave them. My middle child would have been 10 then. My youngest is now 10 1/2 and I haven't even considered leaving her alone at any time...of course, she would be truly alone if her brothers are not here. At that beginning point, I would probably have left them with a neighbor to go to the ER and possibly called a relative to get them from there if needed. I would have been too nervous about how long we would be to leave them alone. But I am a worrier so I may be more conservative about this than other.
saved4always 05:48 AM 07-15-2012
Originally Posted by juliebug:
yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
I didn't see your this post until after I answered your original one. I will be praying for healing for your husband and peace for your family. I am sorry you are going through such a rough time.yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
e.j. 06:17 AM 07-15-2012
Originally Posted by juliebug:
yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. It must be a very stressful time for all of you. I hope his prognosis is good and that he recovers soon.yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.
My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.
Heidi 11:45 AM 07-16-2012
Sending good wishes to your husband...
It depends so much on your children, their maturity level and personalities, where you live, and the length of time.
My 11 year old can stay at home all day by himself occasionally, and enjoys it. I would not leave him home alone at night. I think the first time he stayed home by himself for a half hour or so he was probably 8 or 9. BUT, he knew the rules: no cooking ANYTHING, no answering the door, etc. He would usually just play legos and watch TV. We gradually increased the time.
Since I have now-grown sons, they were "in charge" as teenagers quite often. We never had a problem, although we did recently hear about a few shenanigans happening on their watch. Nothing huge, but I believe someone ended up outside "streaking" around the house at one point.
No wild parties, though, thankfully!
We can now leave leave both our 11 yob and our 15 yog at home for a long weekend, with various family members checking in randomly. Grandma or an aunt might come spend part of a day, or just check in. Certain neighbors also get a heads-up.
Since I am licensed, my children have had it DRILLED into their heads that anything they do (like have a drinking party) while we are away could cost me my license and livelyhood.
It depends so much on your children, their maturity level and personalities, where you live, and the length of time.
My 11 year old can stay at home all day by himself occasionally, and enjoys it. I would not leave him home alone at night. I think the first time he stayed home by himself for a half hour or so he was probably 8 or 9. BUT, he knew the rules: no cooking ANYTHING, no answering the door, etc. He would usually just play legos and watch TV. We gradually increased the time.
Since I have now-grown sons, they were "in charge" as teenagers quite often. We never had a problem, although we did recently hear about a few shenanigans happening on their watch. Nothing huge, but I believe someone ended up outside "streaking" around the house at one point.
No wild parties, though, thankfully! We can now leave leave both our 11 yob and our 15 yog at home for a long weekend, with various family members checking in randomly. Grandma or an aunt might come spend part of a day, or just check in. Certain neighbors also get a heads-up.
Since I am licensed, my children have had it DRILLED into their heads that anything they do (like have a drinking party) while we are away could cost me my license and livelyhood.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:03 PM 07-16-2012
I feel comfortable leaving my teenager (who is over the age of 14) alone. But, he knows what to do in case of an emergency.
Willow 03:09 PM 07-16-2012
I actually called my licensor on this exact question recently.
She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.
She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.
Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.
She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.
She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.
Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.
originalkat 05:35 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
I actually called my licensor on this exact question recently.
She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.
She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.
Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.
Great information. I agree with this as well.I actually called my licensor on this exact question recently.
She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.
She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.
Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.
SunshineMama 06:17 AM 07-18-2012
I think it depends on your kids. I personally babysat for other neighborhood families when I was 10. Each child has their own level of what you can trust them with. I think a responsible 11 year old would be fine to leave at home if thu have been taught all of the necessary safety precautions and you are confident they will follow them.
Blackcat31 06:37 AM 07-18-2012
Here are a couple really great flyers about children staying home alone. They have checklists and things to consider and some really good info about the right age for your child to be left home alone. 
http://mnchildcare.org/pdfs/home_alone_flyerversion.pdf
http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/...ty/chalone.pdf
http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Home+A...s+for+Families
http://www.nncc.org/SACC/sac31_home.alone.html
http://mnchildcare.org/pdfs/home_alone_flyerversion.pdf
http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/...ty/chalone.pdf
http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Home+A...s+for+Families
http://www.nncc.org/SACC/sac31_home.alone.html
Kaddidle Care 06:50 AM 07-18-2012
In your case I would ask a family member or neighbor to come and stay with your children as you will have no idea how long you will be gone and around here an ER visit is a guaranteed 4+ hours long. If they know your situation people are more than happy to help when called upon. You just have to ask.
I just left my 11 year old home alone for the first time last week. I went to the bank and the UPS store - both within 1 mile from home. Little steps.
Unfortunately it has opened up a can of worms as I still have errands to run several times a week and now he wants to stay home. I'm not ready for him to be home alone while I grocery shop for over an hour KWIM? (Although I will admit that I could probably shop a lot faster without him.) Sorry kid, not yet.
I just left my 11 year old home alone for the first time last week. I went to the bank and the UPS store - both within 1 mile from home. Little steps.
Unfortunately it has opened up a can of worms as I still have errands to run several times a week and now he wants to stay home. I'm not ready for him to be home alone while I grocery shop for over an hour KWIM? (Although I will admit that I could probably shop a lot faster without him.) Sorry kid, not yet.
renodeb 09:44 AM 07-18-2012
You were right to take them. I started leaving my son home alone (locked in the house) for 15-20 minutes at age 12. It wasnt until he was 13 that I was leaving him for an hour at a time and I went up gradually in time from there. Now he is 15 (16 in Oct) and I leave him home all the time. He has proven himself to be very trustworthy and responcible so I never fell worried. He keeps the doors locked and I told him that if he wants to go to a friends house that he must call and let me know.
I think I read somewhere that at 12 years old they can be left but not while watching a younger sibling and not at night? I think it depends on the child to.
Debbie
I think I read somewhere that at 12 years old they can be left but not while watching a younger sibling and not at night? I think it depends on the child to.
Debbie
Crazy8 10:56 AM 07-18-2012
Originally Posted by renodeb:
You were right to take them. I started leaving my son home alone (locked in the house) for 15-20 minutes at age 12. It wasnt until he was 13 that I was leaving him for an hour at a time and I went up gradually in time from there. Now he is 15 (16 in Oct) and I leave him home all the time. He has proven himself to be very trustworthy and responcible so I never fell worried. He keeps the doors locked and I told him that if he wants to go to a friends house that he must call and let me know.
I think I read somewhere that at 12 years old they can be left but not while watching a younger sibling and not at night? I think it depends on the child to.
Debbie
I did almost the exact same thing. Started with VERY small trips, where I'd be running another child to a friends house close by, etc. and worked up from there. Maturity has a lot to do with it for me too, what I let DD do at age 12 and what I let DS do at age 12 are two different things! You were right to take them. I started leaving my son home alone (locked in the house) for 15-20 minutes at age 12. It wasnt until he was 13 that I was leaving him for an hour at a time and I went up gradually in time from there. Now he is 15 (16 in Oct) and I leave him home all the time. He has proven himself to be very trustworthy and responcible so I never fell worried. He keeps the doors locked and I told him that if he wants to go to a friends house that he must call and let me know.
I think I read somewhere that at 12 years old they can be left but not while watching a younger sibling and not at night? I think it depends on the child to.
Debbie
I also think some states have actual laws about the age a child can be left alone so you might want to check into that.
Country Kids 12:54 PM 07-18-2012
Our state age is 13. I think that is why it is in the rules that childcare from ages 6 weeks through age 13. Not saying people don't leave younger ones home but I'm sure if something happened there would be some consequences.
juliebug 03:22 PM 07-18-2012
we have left my 11yr home alone many times and he does great! he knows how to dial 911 and has before when my husband had a seizure. so yes i think he would be totally fine! but my 8 yr old no way half the time she doesn't even know her address, i also wouldn't trust her in an emergency at all. i have seen her she panics.
Michael 10:21 PM 07-18-2012
I just got back from Canada and they give babysitting certifications to those 12 and over. Seems a little young. There are many from Canada here. Do I have that right?
Mom&Provider 05:08 AM 07-19-2012
Originally Posted by Michael:
I just got back from Canada and they give babysitting certifications to those 12 and over. Seems a little young. There are many from Canada here. Do I have that right?
Yes, that's right Micharl, it's 12 yo. It's a babysitting course they can take to learn all the basics of looking after themselves and other little ones while being left home alone, safety, calling 911 etc. By obtaining the certificate, it's still suggested that these kids are NOT left in charge of cooking anything, using a swimming pool or bathing smaller children etc. obvious things like that. It's more of a learning program vs a ticket to freedom! I just got back from Canada and they give babysitting certifications to those 12 and over. Seems a little young. There are many from Canada here. Do I have that right?
The same rules apply in many ways that some have already mentioned. Parents need to be the judge of their own child. Not all 12 yo's can be left to care for others, nevermind themselves, alot has to do with the child! Any child under the age of 12-13 is not to be left alone overnight either, even if they have a babysitting certificate, and the general rule is kids 10-12 yo should only be left for 1-2 hours to start before the parent takes a longer journey away from the house.
youretooloud 11:46 AM 07-19-2012
By 12 I would leave them alone for a few hours. I probably wouldn't do it in the middle of the night though.
I would leave a child as young as six home alone for very short times. But, I wouldn't DRIVE anywhere if my child was home alone... my fear that something will happen to me is bigger than the fear that something would happen to them, and then the kids would be alone for at least an hour.
WHen my child was sick, i'd leave her home alone while I got the other grade schoolers from school. (she was in 1st grade) But, the school was at the end of the block, and I could see both the house, and the school from the corner.
I would leave a child as young as six home alone for very short times. But, I wouldn't DRIVE anywhere if my child was home alone... my fear that something will happen to me is bigger than the fear that something would happen to them, and then the kids would be alone for at least an hour.
WHen my child was sick, i'd leave her home alone while I got the other grade schoolers from school. (she was in 1st grade) But, the school was at the end of the block, and I could see both the house, and the school from the corner.
Willow 01:05 PM 07-19-2012
I found this chart and thought it was interesting.
Some states give absolutely no recommendation or have any laws in place at all, others give a guideline of the age of 8 on up through to Illinois who's minimum age by law is ***14***
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchke...age-limits.htm
I can't imagine parents being restricted until every single child was darn near in HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!
Not to mention how screwed up is that thinking? At 14 apparently a child can hardly be trusted to stay at home for an hour sitting on the couch but at 15 they're allowed to obtain a permit and drive a car???!
I was coming home off the bus alone after school in the second grade, was a good two hours before my parents got home from work and I never had a problem handling the responsibility. I was also babysitting well before I was a teen. I fully intend to instill that same sense of responsibility and self structure/discipline in my own kids well before they're in their teens.
Far less responsibility and drastically lowered expectations are a huge part of what I think is wrong with a lot of the kids who are struggling in society today.
Some states give absolutely no recommendation or have any laws in place at all, others give a guideline of the age of 8 on up through to Illinois who's minimum age by law is ***14***
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchke...age-limits.htm
I can't imagine parents being restricted until every single child was darn near in HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!
Not to mention how screwed up is that thinking? At 14 apparently a child can hardly be trusted to stay at home for an hour sitting on the couch but at 15 they're allowed to obtain a permit and drive a car???!
I was coming home off the bus alone after school in the second grade, was a good two hours before my parents got home from work and I never had a problem handling the responsibility. I was also babysitting well before I was a teen. I fully intend to instill that same sense of responsibility and self structure/discipline in my own kids well before they're in their teens.
Far less responsibility and drastically lowered expectations are a huge part of what I think is wrong with a lot of the kids who are struggling in society today.