He's here 5 days a week, all day long. Just turned 3. Mom works 5 days per week, but two of those are weekend days. So she NEVER spends a day off with DCB.

School is out for summer so older brother, not enrolled with me anymore due to age, is with mom when she's off.

Almost every off day, she brings DCB in, along with older brother, to drop off. So DCB sees mom leaving with older brother and coming back with him. And when they come back, they've been somewhere fun. Swimming, the indoor trampoline arena, the park, etc, etc, etc.

Sigh.... She NEVER takes DCB to any of these fun things. And doesn't hide the fact that she has taken older brother somewhere fun that day. It just makes me sad for him.

I guess this is more of a vent than a post for advice. There isn't anything I can do about it.

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I have a school teacher that brings her child in the summer and has since child was born.....but this past Monday the mom told me she had called some of my kids' parents that weren't here and told them they need to bring their kids so they don't get out of the routine. ( I have 5 that come sporadically during the summer which is great for me ) Anyway, I told her if she wanted to bring her child that is fine cause she pays me but it is NONE of her business what other parents do...she snarled and said "hmmm....I see how you are!".....not sure what that meant but she overstepped her bounds....don't ya think? I feel she did this to make herself feel better about NEVER keeping her child!

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Oh HELL NO. Yes, she overstepped. And that attitude and snide comment were uncalled for. I agree, she's trying to alleviate her own guilt.

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That would have pissed me off so bad! How dare her do that!!

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I could have written this post. It's so sad :-(

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I am getting the last laugh cause none of the other kids have come.....she was just trying to justify her situation.

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And/or trying to recruit playmates.

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I have 5-7 each day.....am licensed for 12 so the others are with siblings, grandmas, etc.....she has play mates but it irks her that parents pay and don't bring their kids. I really think she feels guilty...

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Oh, I thought that she was the only dck in attendance. Why does it bother her what other dcps do? Weird. Either guilt or making sure she gets her money's worth.

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I've had 2 of these kids. I feel badly, as well, but not too much you can do to change the parents outlook.

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I'm positive she feels guilty. I would have wanted to laugh when she snapped though because what she did and her reaction really are THAT ridiculous.

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I have one like this. When her oldest came here she never brought him when she didn't work (teacher) and always came straight from work.
Her youngest is here every day, no matter what. She spends days off with oldest child. Once youngest was wheezing so I called her. She wanted to wait because oldest was "having so much fun at the park."
Um. NOOO!!

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I probably would have termed had she called my clients to tell them what to do. That is ridiculously rude.

I have had several clients like this, and I always hurt for the kids.

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Yes. Me, too. That would make me extremely uncomfortable to work with someone like that and that's saying a lot because I have some wild ones enrolled right now.

Poor little buddy.

That's been the best benefit to moving to 4 days a week. Even the few kids that are enrolled 4 days per week and attend every single day get to have 3 days where they're with mom/dad/grandma/etc. to do something fun outside of here. I always felt bad for my 5 day kids who came no matter what.

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I did think about terming, but my summer has been so good with less kids and time off and no babies....I am smiling alot lately.

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She even said this morning (because he was whiny), "he didn't want to come because he knows we're (she and dcb) going to the park." Then she kind of laughed. He was clinging to her leg and whining until she pried him off and left with older brother.

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I would have said, "That would make any child really sad to not be included." and stared. How rude.

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YES. Why didn't I think of that? I'll have plenty more opportunities to use it, though.

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I've had a couple of families over the years who did this same thing. The latest one went on vacation to a very famous theme park and left their younger child home, even though they were at an age where they would have enjoyed it so much .

I try not to judge, but I'm not very good at not judging apparently

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Lol. Me either. I've learned to get passed her bringing him all the time when she's off, but this just takes the cake. He KNOWS they're doing fun stuff and that he's left out. Last summer, he didn't realize it but now he's old enough to understand.

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I think the easiest and simplest solution to something you (general you) don't like or agree with is to refuse to be part of it.

If you feel so strongly about what is happening, why participate? Why not refuse care when you know mom isn't working?

If you are allowing it just so the child can have routine or a safe place to be where you feel he is wanted etc, then I don't understand what the issue is....seems mom feels the same.

If you are allowing it because you need the income then I don't think it warrants venting/complaining about it.
You made the choice to accept the dollar and be a participant.

I know many don't feel it's that black and white but to me it really is....if something bothers me that deeply, I would refuse to be a player in the game. Saves my head from spinning, my heart from worrying and leaves my conscious clear.

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I'm not quick on my feet with responses. When I'm surprised by something a parent says/is doing then I just stare with REALLY big eyes. Like that with my mouth closed.
I would have been shocked in that moment and would have stared. But yes, please do say some common sense thing like that when given a moment now that you're able to fully process her level of crazy.

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It's not really something i'm "allowing". Not my child, not my decision to leave him out. I wouldn't refuse care while mom is off because she pays for a full time spot. It's her prerogative to do with that time as she wishes. And I wouldn't let them go over this, it's just something that I would never do to my own child. It makes me sad for him.

And don't we all come here sometimes to "vent and complain" about the things we put up with for the sake of money or because we love the kids? That's all i was doing, like most everyone else here does on occasion.

I didn't choose to participate in her decision to leave her son out. And I never would. She's a client, we have a business relationship, it's technically none of my business. But that doesn't mean i'm blind to his feelings and can ignore them, unlike his mother. I still feel for him when she's leaving with the older brother and little brother's feelings are hurt. That's the main point of my whole post. It's just a sad thing to me. :'(

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Me either. I usually think of a fantastic response about 5 minutes too late! Lol

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I had a mom several years ago who would take a Friday off every few weeks during the summer. The first time, she said she and her older son were going to hang out, go to the pool, etc. The next time, I thought it would be the younger boy's turn. Nope. Older brother again, and every time. It made me sad for little brother, too.

I was the youngest kid in my family....how sad I would've been if my mom had done that.

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Translation: "I don't want to watch the little one around the pool".

Poor kid. Don't these people know that they can never get these years back?

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You said a mouthful there. Plus not only will they not get those years back, but what happens if that younger child grows up remembering the hurt these times caused him, that mom definitely appeared to love big brother best, etc. It's plainly showing him he's not as good as big brother if mom can't bring him to those fun paces too. Maybe he feels like a bad kid causing this treatment. You just never know what can go through a 3 yo's mind and what he'll grow up telling himself. I'm not saying any of this is true but it doesn't need to be for him to believe it. Actions speak louder than words.
Children absolutely treasure one on one time with their mom and/or dad. It tells them they're important enough for the parent to want to be with. What does the opposite show a young child. Shame on dcm. Yes, I'll judge them.

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Last year, I didn't judge so much. He was 2 then and couldn't do some things that DCM was doing with big brother. I thought it would be different this summer, but no. It's obvious now that she prefers big brother and/or is just lazy and doesn't want to take DCB because he's younger and would be more work for her. So I judge away now.

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