Daycare.com Forum
CrazyJ 12:32 PM 11-15-2017
I have this 2 years old that will be 3 next month and he will come in talking to his mom and as soon as she leaves, he stops talking he basically turns into a robot. he will not move unless you tell him, he will not play he just stares into space, he will not do thing unless you tell him. He knows the routine he sees the other kids doing it but he won't do nothing until told. We are also working on potty training with him and he will stand in the bathroom and will wait until he is told what to do. "DCB, pull your pants down, he will do it then he will wait until the next step." I'm at my wits end with this kid. I don't know what to do in order for him to just do it.
storybookending 12:35 PM 11-15-2017
Has the child been with you long?
Maybe don’t play into his game and don’t tell him to do anything. If he’s just sitting there alone not bothering anyone. I would just say “Johnny when you are ready to join us we are over here” and then ignore until he gets it.
Maybe don’t play into his game and don’t tell him to do anything. If he’s just sitting there alone not bothering anyone. I would just say “Johnny when you are ready to join us we are over here” and then ignore until he gets it.
CrazyJ 02:20 PM 11-15-2017
he has been with me since he was 10 months old. I do my best to ignore it but he will literally won't do nothing. He will just sit there and will stay sitting there all day if I let him.
Mom2Two 04:17 PM 11-15-2017
Sounds like an assessment is needed. Any chance he could be diabetic? I don't know anything about diabetes, but a friend's child began having times when he would go catatonic and it turned out to be diabetes.
But it sounds more like some kind of developmental delay or even mental illness. ???? I'm just taking guesses here, but it does sound odd. If you're really concerned I would start suggesting assessment.
But it sounds more like some kind of developmental delay or even mental illness. ???? I'm just taking guesses here, but it does sound odd. If you're really concerned I would start suggesting assessment.
HappyEverAfter 07:44 PM 11-15-2017
Could there be (or previously have been) an abusive situation at home? Or in a previous daycare? Something bad that has taught him not to move/act unless specifically told to do so?
Cat Herder 05:31 AM 11-16-2017
What are his parents thoughts on this situation? How does he interact with other groups of children, outside of daycare?
CrazyJ 10:45 AM 11-16-2017
He has been with us since he was a baby, his life has been a little crazy with his parents divorcing and one of his mom gave up all her rights to his other mom. I have talked to his mother and his mom and grandma think its so odd that he acts like that here because he is the complete opposite at home. So they know but they just think its odd and just having hard time believing it but not really concern because he doesn't do that at home.
kendallina 10:50 AM 11-16-2017
What's your relationship like when him? Do you ever play with him? Try to have fun with him? Joke with him, be silly? Does he respond to that?
CrazyJ 12:39 PM 11-16-2017
I try to play, joke and fun with him but sometimes its a swing and a miss with him. I just wish there is something I can do to help him be more comfortable and be himself. He's a very bright kid just won't show his true personality here.
HappyEverAfter 06:08 AM 11-17-2017
Do you look like or favor the Mom who gave up her rights? It is odd he doesn't act like that at home. And how does he act when he goes to someone else's house, like a neighbor or friend? Is he a robot at those places?
Blackcat31 06:26 AM 11-17-2017
Odd, I have the same kid.
Mine is 2 (will be 3 in early 2018)
Mine basically just watches all day.
Doesn't join in with anything other than sitting quietly and watching.
Never cries, never whines, never has conflict with others (you have to interact before you can have conflict).
He eats fine, naps fine and seems to be normal in every other way. Mom/dad say he is lively and animated at home. Have no concerns about him or his development. Although the parents are a tad bit "helicopterish". Mom has made comments about child doing X at home but any time I've given him the opportunity to do X at daycare, he just stares at me.
Mom says he dresses and undresses himself independently at home. I will change him, hand him his pants (easy pull on type) and he will stick his toe into the very beginning of the pants and then just sit there like he's waiting for the pants to do the rest themselves. If I guide him how to do it, he just stares at me. If I try to assist him (hand over hand) he lets me without issues.
Mine will verbally/clearly reply when I ask him a yes or no question and will indicate a choice when asked "this or that?" type questions but would never elaborate beyond a one or two word response.
I've tried to get down on his level and interact with him but he has zero interest in doing so. I've tried to tickle him or goof around with him and he'll usually react by crawling away from my reach but not too far that he can't turn around and watch me.
Mine seems to want to watch but doesn't want to participate on any level.
I just leave mine be. I figure he'll open up when he is ready to. I have enough people (work related) in and out of here on a regular basis and mom/dad see the pediatrician regularly etc that if anyone truly thought anything was amiss, it would have been noticed by now.
I don't know. Kids are just weird sometimes.
Mine is 2 (will be 3 in early 2018)
Mine basically just watches all day.
Doesn't join in with anything other than sitting quietly and watching.
Never cries, never whines, never has conflict with others (you have to interact before you can have conflict).
He eats fine, naps fine and seems to be normal in every other way. Mom/dad say he is lively and animated at home. Have no concerns about him or his development. Although the parents are a tad bit "helicopterish". Mom has made comments about child doing X at home but any time I've given him the opportunity to do X at daycare, he just stares at me.
Mom says he dresses and undresses himself independently at home. I will change him, hand him his pants (easy pull on type) and he will stick his toe into the very beginning of the pants and then just sit there like he's waiting for the pants to do the rest themselves. If I guide him how to do it, he just stares at me. If I try to assist him (hand over hand) he lets me without issues.
Mine will verbally/clearly reply when I ask him a yes or no question and will indicate a choice when asked "this or that?" type questions but would never elaborate beyond a one or two word response.
I've tried to get down on his level and interact with him but he has zero interest in doing so. I've tried to tickle him or goof around with him and he'll usually react by crawling away from my reach but not too far that he can't turn around and watch me.
Mine seems to want to watch but doesn't want to participate on any level.
I just leave mine be. I figure he'll open up when he is ready to. I have enough people (work related) in and out of here on a regular basis and mom/dad see the pediatrician regularly etc that if anyone truly thought anything was amiss, it would have been noticed by now.
I don't know. Kids are just weird sometimes.
KayB 04:37 PM 11-17-2017
I to have a kid like this! Drives me bonkers! It used to bother me and I would go out of my ways to try and get him to participate. Now I just let him get involved whenever he wants. I have to many other ones here that I can create a lot of fun for to worry about this one child all the time!
Blackcat you are right...they are weird sometimes
Blackcat you are right...they are weird sometimes
Pandaluver21 08:16 PM 11-19-2017
Originally Posted by CrazyJ:
he has been with me since he was 10 months old. I do my best to ignore it but he will literally won't do nothing. He will just sit there and will stay sitting there all day if I let him.
Then let him :P I had one like this, but he started with me at 3. There was 2-3 weeks that he spend many days just sitting, refusing to talk or make eye contact. He eventually would get involved with the other kids, and became quite attached to me as well. (I don't mean to brag, but there was a proposal he has been with me since he was 10 months old. I do my best to ignore it but he will literally won't do nothing. He will just sit there and will stay sitting there all day if I let him.
)
CrazyJ 10:42 AM 11-21-2017
I will let him be, I just wish I can do something to make him comfortable here so he can be his full self but if he doesn't want to then I really can't do anything but just go on my normal schedule.
Blackcat31 11:06 AM 11-21-2017
Originally Posted by CrazyJ:
I will let him be, I just wish I can do something to make him comfortable here so he can be his full self but if he doesn't want to then I really can't do anything but just go on my normal schedule.
I totally understand this but curious as to what makes you think he isn't comfortable... kwim? I will let him be, I just wish I can do something to make him comfortable here so he can be his full self but if he doesn't want to then I really can't do anything but just go on my normal schedule.
My own son was a watcher not a do-er and he spent a lot of time observing the behavior of others but his lack of actually participating didn't automatically mean he wasn't comfortable.
I don't know but that is mostly what I'd watch for (in regards to DCB) and I'd continue to invite him to participate and join in the others but if he opts not too, let him be. I think when it's time to intervene be concerned, you'll know.
