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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Help With a 14 Month Old
TGT09 11:42 AM 02-18-2010
I have a 14 month old that ALWAYS cries! And, when I mean always, I mean always! It's not because she misses her mom or all the normal things. I am making an assumption based on how she reacts but I think she's honestly been held her ENTIRE life thus far, except when she's with me. I can't hold her all day and she gets so ticked off when I tell her so. She's the child that cries if I make any sudden movements i.e. leave the room, walk away from her, etc. She doesn't do it anymore when I leave the room but if she's in a certain mood, if I walk away too fast or walk somewhere and then turn around to leave right away...she freaks and screams her head off. I'm starting to get so frustrated and have no idea what to do with her!
To top it off, I have two 2 year olds in my care that are constantly taking toys from her or bundling up all the toys so she can't play with ANY. I have done timeouts until I'm blue in the face for stealing things from her. She screams every time they take something and quite frankly, I'm OVER all the crying.
I have to hold her the entire time she naps or she won't stay asleep. The Mom says she isn't this way at home and that she naps in her crib. I only have a playpen at my house and her mom says she hates those.
I have had her for over 6 months so it's not that she doesn't know me or my home. The only thing I haven't mentioned is that I am the first person she's ever stayed with besides her mom. Her Dad is in Iraq so I'm assuming some seperation anxiety is there as well BUT he's been gone since she was at least 6 months old.
I would say (without exaggeration) she cries roughly about 30 times in an 8 hour period.
Right now she's crying because I told her not to pinch the 5 year old that I care for.
Please help me! Somebody has to have had a child like this at some point! I realize that some of these are tantrums but I have seen enough tantrums to know that not all of them are.
To top it off, I have two 2 year olds in my care that are constantly taking toys from her or bundling up all the toys so she can't play with ANY. I have done timeouts until I'm blue in the face for stealing things from her. She screams every time they take something and quite frankly, I'm OVER all the crying.
I have to hold her the entire time she naps or she won't stay asleep. The Mom says she isn't this way at home and that she naps in her crib. I only have a playpen at my house and her mom says she hates those.
I have had her for over 6 months so it's not that she doesn't know me or my home. The only thing I haven't mentioned is that I am the first person she's ever stayed with besides her mom. Her Dad is in Iraq so I'm assuming some seperation anxiety is there as well BUT he's been gone since she was at least 6 months old.
I would say (without exaggeration) she cries roughly about 30 times in an 8 hour period.
Right now she's crying because I told her not to pinch the 5 year old that I care for.
Please help me! Somebody has to have had a child like this at some point! I realize that some of these are tantrums but I have seen enough tantrums to know that not all of them are.
hcmom 12:21 PM 02-18-2010
I don't know how you handle that daily. 
I just let go of a 10 month old that cried all the time and a few months later, I had a 20 month old leave my care because the mom needed more days and longer hours, the 20 month old was the same way as you described the 14 month old, but I didn't want to terminate because this child was in my care 4 days a week and I thought I needed that money.
Can I just say that since those two have been out of my care, it makes a world of difference for my sanity as well as the sanity of my family and other baby's I care for.
I would tell the mom that you will give it 2 more weeks and if nothing changes then you will have to let her go. It will be hard, but if the child is crying all the time, she is obviously not happy, that has nothing to do with your care, DCG obviously needs more one on one care and with other children in your care that is not feasible. That's exactly what I told the 10 months old mom when I terminated.
Your mental health and the well being of the other children in your care is way more important than money.
Good Luck!
I just let go of a 10 month old that cried all the time and a few months later, I had a 20 month old leave my care because the mom needed more days and longer hours, the 20 month old was the same way as you described the 14 month old, but I didn't want to terminate because this child was in my care 4 days a week and I thought I needed that money.
Can I just say that since those two have been out of my care, it makes a world of difference for my sanity as well as the sanity of my family and other baby's I care for.
I would tell the mom that you will give it 2 more weeks and if nothing changes then you will have to let her go. It will be hard, but if the child is crying all the time, she is obviously not happy, that has nothing to do with your care, DCG obviously needs more one on one care and with other children in your care that is not feasible. That's exactly what I told the 10 months old mom when I terminated.
Your mental health and the well being of the other children in your care is way more important than money.
Good Luck!
TGT09 01:07 PM 02-18-2010
Thank You! It's nice to hear that it's not me.
I just don't think I can let her go with the Dad being in Iraq unless it gets worse. We are previous military where my husband was in Iraq for 15 months. She is all alone and her family lives 3+ hours away. I feel bad for her so I guess it's my sanity I pay with. :-)
I just don't think I can let her go with the Dad being in Iraq unless it gets worse. We are previous military where my husband was in Iraq for 15 months. She is all alone and her family lives 3+ hours away. I feel bad for her so I guess it's my sanity I pay with. :-)
momma2girls 04:17 PM 02-18-2010
Originally Posted by mcmann05:
Thank You! It's nice to hear that it's not me.
I just don't think I can let her go with the Dad being in Iraq unless it gets worse. We are previous military where my husband was in Iraq for 15 months. She is all alone and her family lives 3+ hours away. I feel bad for her so I guess it's my sanity I pay with. :-)
I have had the same thing a couple times in my daycare. It is tough, but for your own sanity, the other children, as well as the parents. It is just not fair for yourself and the other children!!!Thank You! It's nice to hear that it's not me.
I just don't think I can let her go with the Dad being in Iraq unless it gets worse. We are previous military where my husband was in Iraq for 15 months. She is all alone and her family lives 3+ hours away. I feel bad for her so I guess it's my sanity I pay with. :-)