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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>9mo Never Adjusting
Pestle 10:54 AM 03-31-2017
I've had this child for two months now. She's here alternating two and three days a week.

When they interviewed, her mom sat on the floor with her the entire time--she wasn't crawling yet. Now she crawls well but doesn't explore. She fusses. Constantly. It gets a LITTLE better if I hold her but she still complains. They don't babywear at home and she's a chunk--wearing 24mo pants today--so I can't wear her.

"Eeeeee. Eeeeee. Eeeeee." Every breath is a whine. Once or twice a day she calms down and starts to explore the playroom, but the rest of the time it's the fuss. When we go outside and the other babies crawl around and eat the grass, she sits and goes "Eeeeee. Eeeeee. Eeeeee."

She eats just fine. No problems there.

Her parents have a sleep ritual that involves holding her until she's asleep, then placing her facedown in a pitch black windowless room and covering her with a blanket. Obviously, I can't replicate that here. They say they're working on it at home, but I'm not seeing any results here. She has never slept for more than 1/2 hour here and usually she just sleeps for 5-10 minutes at a stretch. By the end of the day, she's so groggy that she bumps into furniture and keeps pitching onto her face.

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I know this age tends to be terrible for phasing into care for the first time. How many of you have had infants this age who DID eventually outgrow the fussing/separation anxiety and who started napping for you?
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Ariana 11:14 AM 03-31-2017
Are you getting her up as soon as she starts crying? She is clearly sleep deprived which makes her more clingy and moody. I wouldn't get her up if she cried, she needs to stay in her bed until nap time is over. Go in and check on her every 15 minutes but thats it. She will eventually learn that crying doesn't mean it is wakeup time.

The problem however is that the parents are the biggest influences on her sleep because she is part time so they need to start doing this too. She needs to be sleep trained and by that I mean she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. Right now she needs to be held and when she wakes up she is expecting that to fall back to sleep.
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Pestle 11:21 AM 03-31-2017
I've been leaving her in there for two months, Ariana! (Why is there a kissy lips emoji but not a sobbing one?) This child fusses from the moment her mother leaves until the moment her mother picks her up. 10 hours a day. For instance, she's been in the crib for an hour now. She passed out, then woke up 10 minutes later when I stuck my head into the room (I must've bumped the air molecules too loudly). 20 minutes later she passed out again. Five minutes later she woke up. And so forth. No, I'm not picking her up, except that eventually it's time for another diaper change and bottle and I can't keep the poor thing in the crib all day, so I take her out so she can fuss on the floor. I don't even go in there for the first 10-15 minutes after she wakes up, since I can hear she's breathing and for some reason I keep holding out false hope she'll go to sleep again. She's had a total of 20 minutes of sleep today, which is how all the days go.

I'm trying to shower her with positive attention when she spends a few minutes without fussing, and I'm sitting adjacent to her or with my leg touching her instead of cuddling her, but in two months there's zero progress.

She came late one day after a nap at home and she was much less fussy and she actually crawled around and played.
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mommyneedsadayoff 11:47 AM 03-31-2017
Is she napping twice a day? when does she arrive? It depends on licensing, but i have video monitors to watch them, so when they go down for nap, i dont see them toll nap is over. i peek my head in for smells, but otherwise, sleep is not something i spend much energy on. Part timers can add weeks to the transition time table.
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Pestle 12:02 PM 03-31-2017
She's not napping ever. I try twice a day. It doesn't happen.

There's somebody here out of Knoxville. . . maybe she can tell me if monitors are acceptable. I'm thinking a physical check is required, though.
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jenboo 12:10 PM 03-31-2017
I give it 4-6 weeks and if there isn't improvement, I term. If a kid doesn't show improvements in that amount of time, its not going to happen.
I recently termed a 1 yr old who cried all day and wouldn't nap or eat. It starts to take a toll on the whole group to keep them around.
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LysesKids 03:43 PM 03-31-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
She's not napping ever. I try twice a day. It doesn't happen.

There's somebody here out of Knoxville. . . maybe she can tell me if monitors are acceptable. I'm thinking a physical check is required, though.
Taken directly from licensing regulation; Because of the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), sleeping infants (under 13 months) shall be checked every 30 minutes by touching them. If a child appears not to be breathing, emergency medical assistance shall be sought immediately.

3 of my 4 are very young and all 4 sleep in the same room so checks are easy here (I live just outside KNOX in BLOUNT but there is a Knoxville provider too)
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Pestle 03:48 PM 03-31-2017
Oh, are you in Murraville? I speak fluent East Tennessean.
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LysesKids 04:33 PM 03-31-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Oh, are you in Murraville? I speak fluent East Tennessean.
Close darlin' Louisville/Alcoa lol; I'm right by the river. I have a Louisville Address but technically inside Alcoa city limits - I pay both county & city property taxes
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childcaremom 02:49 AM 04-01-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
I've had this child for two months now. She's here alternating two and three days a week.

When they interviewed, her mom sat on the floor with her the entire time--she wasn't crawling yet. Now she crawls well but doesn't explore. She fusses. Constantly. It gets a LITTLE better if I hold her but she still complains. They don't babywear at home and she's a chunk--wearing 24mo pants today--so I can't wear her.

"Eeeeee. Eeeeee. Eeeeee." Every breath is a whine. Once or twice a day she calms down and starts to explore the playroom, but the rest of the time it's the fuss. When we go outside and the other babies crawl around and eat the grass, she sits and goes "Eeeeee. Eeeeee. Eeeeee."

She eats just fine. No problems there.

Her parents have a sleep ritual that involves holding her until she's asleep, then placing her facedown in a pitch black windowless room and covering her with a blanket. Obviously, I can't replicate that here. They say they're working on it at home, but I'm not seeing any results here. She has never slept for more than 1/2 hour here and usually she just sleeps for 5-10 minutes at a stretch. By the end of the day, she's so groggy that she bumps into furniture and keeps pitching onto her face.

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I know this age tends to be terrible for phasing into care for the first time. How many of you have had infants this age who DID eventually outgrow the fussing/separation anxiety and who started napping for you?
Put it back on the parents.

Tell them what your expectations are as far as naps. If she isn't sleeping and/or is tired, call for pick up.

Personally, I like Jenboo's advice. I would have a final chat with parents about the expectations of group care and what rest time looks like. (eg: not any of their 'rituals'). I would put a star on the calendar. If she hasn't adjusted by then, term.
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Ariana 03:38 PM 04-01-2017
Oh my goodness you poor woman

Does she cosleep at home? She is just not adjusting to sleeping by herslef and being part time it is next to impossible to get them on your schedule. I have a 15 month old that is very similar. She sleeps for an hour from 9-10am, then an hour from 1-2pm. She wakes at 2pm cries and cries but eventualky falls back to sleep. Just this week I saw some improvement with way less crying when waking at 2pm but at 2 days a week it likely won't last.

I agree that if there is no improvement after all of this time then I would consider terming unless the parents can sleep train. I recently kicked a 3 year old out of daycare for 3 weeks because she started screeching bloody murder during nap time (after Christmas break ). I told them she needed to be sleep trained or I would have to term (child does not sleep at home and is very moody without sleep). So they did. She came back perfect and things went back to normal. I am lucky because this kid started with me 5 days a week (I sleep trained her) and went down to part time last September. Her sleep just gradually got worse and worse until Christmas break. Parents are the number 1 influence for part time kids so they need to be onboard or threaten a term.
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