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Sunchimes 12:08 PM 05-09-2013
I have a little one 33 months old. She's smart as a whip, but sooo stubborn.
She has known her colors and shapes and the ABC song for ages. She can count to 15 easily and 20 if she concentrates. She doesn't just say the numbers but can count objects, so she knows the "one number, one object" idea.
When we started working on recognizing the written numbers and letters, we hit a wall. I did everything I could think of to teach her the numbers, but when you would show her a three and ask what it was, she would say 7 or sometimes green or circle. Then one day, I saw her with a number book sitting alone going through the pages and rattling off the numbers. She's been holding out on us!
Even after she realized that I knew what was happening, she kept it up, except now she grins when she answers.
I honestly have no idea how many letters she knows--a stranger would think she only recognized the first letter of her name, but I know she knows most of them, even if I can't prove it. I'll add here that I'm not pushing her, but she's the kind of kid that wants to know. I plan something, and if she doesn't want to do it, we don't do it. It's a very casual thing, at least until she turns 3.
The other area is potty training. We had her trained, then she just stopped. She won't even sit on the potty now. Except in public places. Mom said she wanted to go potty while shopping, she took her, and guess what, she went just fine. At the library story time this week, she wanted to go potty, went like a champ. But here and at home, she refuses to even sit on the potty. I am at my wit's end.
She has known her colors and shapes and the ABC song for ages. She can count to 15 easily and 20 if she concentrates. She doesn't just say the numbers but can count objects, so she knows the "one number, one object" idea.
When we started working on recognizing the written numbers and letters, we hit a wall. I did everything I could think of to teach her the numbers, but when you would show her a three and ask what it was, she would say 7 or sometimes green or circle. Then one day, I saw her with a number book sitting alone going through the pages and rattling off the numbers. She's been holding out on us!
Even after she realized that I knew what was happening, she kept it up, except now she grins when she answers.I honestly have no idea how many letters she knows--a stranger would think she only recognized the first letter of her name, but I know she knows most of them, even if I can't prove it. I'll add here that I'm not pushing her, but she's the kind of kid that wants to know. I plan something, and if she doesn't want to do it, we don't do it. It's a very casual thing, at least until she turns 3.
The other area is potty training. We had her trained, then she just stopped. She won't even sit on the potty now. Except in public places. Mom said she wanted to go potty while shopping, she took her, and guess what, she went just fine. At the library story time this week, she wanted to go potty, went like a champ. But here and at home, she refuses to even sit on the potty. I am at my wit's end.
LaLa1923 12:22 PM 05-09-2013
I sometimes wonder where we came up with the phrase "strong willed".
IMO that's just a nice way of saying they just don't listen.
I've got one of those myself! I choose not to power struggle with my son. He can either listen and positive things will happen or not. If he doesn't listen he doesn't get my praise.
Most children will respond very positively to positive praise and reinforcement.
I know what you're going through, I wish I had more to offer you.
IMO that's just a nice way of saying they just don't listen.
I've got one of those myself! I choose not to power struggle with my son. He can either listen and positive things will happen or not. If he doesn't listen he doesn't get my praise.
Most children will respond very positively to positive praise and reinforcement.
I know what you're going through, I wish I had more to offer you.
AmyKidsCo 05:49 PM 05-09-2013
Most children have a need for control, and in my experience, "strong willed" children have a bigger need for control than the average child. I'd give her LOTS of choices - a ridiculous amount of choices. Give her choices for EVERYTHING. Just be sure that you're OK with both of the choices because if you prefer one over the other she'll always pick the one you don't prefer.
Some ideas:
Do you want to clean up now, or in 2 minutes? Set the timer for 2 minutes.
Do you want to put your right shoe on first or your left shoe?
Do you want to eat your cereal with a fork or a spoon? (My strong willed child chose a fork for a week straight, just because she could. I didn't care - it was her cereal and she didn't make a mess.)
By giving her choices you can live with you're letting her feel a lot of control in those areas, which makes her less likely to hold on to control in other areas.
Some ideas:
Do you want to clean up now, or in 2 minutes? Set the timer for 2 minutes.
Do you want to put your right shoe on first or your left shoe?
Do you want to eat your cereal with a fork or a spoon? (My strong willed child chose a fork for a week straight, just because she could. I didn't care - it was her cereal and she didn't make a mess.)
By giving her choices you can live with you're letting her feel a lot of control in those areas, which makes her less likely to hold on to control in other areas.
Sunchimes 07:31 PM 05-09-2013
She always has choices, and it really isn't an issue in any area except trying to figure out if she is learning what I'm teaching. At 2.5, it isn't even critical that she is learning, she's still a baby. I'm just presenting information that she wants to know. Well, except for the potty training. That I care about!
Unregistered 07:50 PM 05-09-2013
I'm laughing as mine was the same way. If asked directly she would not answer, and often answered others wrongly even if she knew the answers for many months. Yet she loved learning, just not the quizing. It was much easier for her to show you what she knew through natural play, or just observing/listening to her during free play.
Mine also was determined to check out all public washrooms when out. Accidents never happened while away from home. I seem to remember a relapse in potty training for about 3 weeks or so, just for pee accidents. There was a period where she was testing how long she could hold it and her responce to any prompting was "I'm not full yet." It passed pretty quick, or I'm just mentally blocking the stubborn 2 year old stage out from memory.
Mine also was determined to check out all public washrooms when out. Accidents never happened while away from home. I seem to remember a relapse in potty training for about 3 weeks or so, just for pee accidents. There was a period where she was testing how long she could hold it and her responce to any prompting was "I'm not full yet." It passed pretty quick, or I'm just mentally blocking the stubborn 2 year old stage out from memory.