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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Oh! So That’s Where You Get It From!
MsMe 05:49 AM 04-13-2011
I have a DCF that is the classic first to arrive last to leave, brings kids no matter what, and only takes one child if they HAVE to.
Long story short....DCM called grandma (her mother) to drive to town 4hrs bc DCG has been on the edge of a fever for two days and is gereraly miserable. DCM informs me DCGMA will be to town around noon but not to call unless she developes an actual fever and then DCGMA will come to get DCG but not DCB.
So GMA is going to dive 4 hours to sit at their house incase I call. Not spend time with her Grandkids. She also does this the 3-4 times a yr she comes to visit.
I love the kids in my program to pieces but anytime they can get with actual family is SO much better for them. These children inparticular have issuse steming from the lack of family time they get.
I don't judge parents....but it is hard not to lose a little repect for them.
Long story short....DCM called grandma (her mother) to drive to town 4hrs bc DCG has been on the edge of a fever for two days and is gereraly miserable. DCM informs me DCGMA will be to town around noon but not to call unless she developes an actual fever and then DCGMA will come to get DCG but not DCB.
So GMA is going to dive 4 hours to sit at their house incase I call. Not spend time with her Grandkids. She also does this the 3-4 times a yr she comes to visit.
I love the kids in my program to pieces but anytime they can get with actual family is SO much better for them. These children inparticular have issuse steming from the lack of family time they get.
I don't judge parents....but it is hard not to lose a little repect for them.
TBird 06:28 AM 04-13-2011
Okay....this sounds soooooo crazy. Grandma is gonna drive 4 hours and NOT pick the child up??? This sounds like a CLASSIC case of "Well, we've already paid for the day so DCK has to go!"
I swear, some parents get so hung up on the money AS IF it's not the best dollar that they've ever spent or ever will spend. I'm sure they've blown more money on electronics than they have reserving their spot with you.....sad.
I swear, some parents get so hung up on the money AS IF it's not the best dollar that they've ever spent or ever will spend. I'm sure they've blown more money on electronics than they have reserving their spot with you.....sad.
MsMe 06:49 AM 04-13-2011
Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
marniewon 07:04 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by LLD:
Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
Sadly, unless your daycare services were FREE, they would probably still feel like they needed to "get their money's worth"!!Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
Lucy 07:17 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by LLD:
Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
Such a good point. And I have this same family, btw! Makes me sick. Dad has every-other Friday off, but the kids still come here. The kids have never stayed home on mom or dads vacation days, etc., etc. I could go on and on.Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
nannyde 07:21 AM 04-13-2011
They have dosed the kid up with tylenol or advil and that's the time they fear it will wear off.
Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
TBird 07:26 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
So well put and SO true Nannyde! The tide is-a-changin' and these parents better be ready for it!Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
nannyde 07:32 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by LLD:
Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
I don't think money is the reason. It may be the justification when a parent is doing the mental gymnastics of deciding but I don't think it's the core reason.Yes, I often wonder at what weekly rate they would be willing to miss alittle daycare time to spend with their kids. If I only charged 100, 90 or 50 a week THEN would you feel like you could not send them every minute! What 'price' is your family time worth to you?
If you offered free care on the weekends ... every weekend... saying you are available the same hours as during the week... and the parents were definitely off of work... how many of your full time parents would (within a month or two) be bringing their kid the majority of the weekend too?
How long would it take for the parents to believe that the 100 dollars a week they pay you is really for SEVEN days and not five... even if you made it clear that the fee they pay you is JUST for the five days?
wdmmom 07:53 AM 04-13-2011
My policy is:
If one child goes home, any other siblings go to!
If one child goes home, any other siblings go to!
marniewon 08:18 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
They have dosed the kid up with tylenol or advil and that's the time they fear it will wear off.
Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
You may be right, but this greatly saddens and confuses me. I can almost understand, in this entitlement age, the parents wanting time away from the kids, as they have them all the time. I don't agree with it, but can almost see it. But the grandparents?? That's the best part of grandkids - you can love on em all you want and then send them home! If you lived 4 hours away, why would you NOT pick up and spend the afternoon with them?!?They have dosed the kid up with tylenol or advil and that's the time they fear it will wear off.
Grandma doesn't want to be around the kids anymore than the parents do. This generation of grandparents are on the begining of the cusp of grandparents refusing to deal with the kids. The grandparents have had a significant part of their young adulthood in this "point and click... facebook... texting. 400 channels on TV" life. They like that stuff better than dealing with these kids.
I'm not saying they don't want to SEE the kids. I'm saying they don't want to take care of the kids alone. They might do a little here and there but it's more obligatory than generational.
Always exceptions but I think it's very very common now.
When this generation of parents become grandparents they won't even want the obligatory. Kids will be cared for by people receiving money the majority of their waking hours.
I have a 3 yo grand-daughter. She is my world. She's 3, she has the attitude of a 3 year old, and she's spoiled. But I love every piece of her and spend as much time as possible with her. She comes every Friday and I look forward to Fridays for that reason. On the occasional day that she doesn't come, I miss her terribly. I can't imagine not having her in my life and spending time with her. I just don't get grandparents (especially) who don't want anything to do with their grandkids!! Is it really because there's so much more in life to do? Do people just not matter anymore? Or are the kids today so out of control that even grandparents don't want to bother with them?
Gurdy 08:42 AM 04-13-2011
This makes me think of a very sad situation I had not long ago. I had a dcm that was on maternity leave and her mother and her MIL were both in town for a week staying with her to help out. Her husband was also off work that week. So we have 4 adults all in the same house for a week and wouldn't you know it... They brought their 18 mo old to me EVERYDAY that week, from open to close! I was so stunned! I even offered to give them a vacation week unpaid and they declined. Why would they need 4 adults to take care of 1 newborn and ship the 18 mo old off to daycare everyday? I just don't get it!
nannyde 09:03 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by Gurdy:
This makes me think of a very sad situation I had not long ago. I had a dcm that was on maternity leave and her mother and her MIL were both in town for a week staying with her to help out. Her husband was also off work that week. So we have 4 adults all in the same house for a week and wouldn't you know it... They brought their 18 mo old to me EVERYDAY that week, from open to close! I was so stunned! I even offered to give them a vacation week unpaid and they declined. Why would they need 4 adults to take care of 1 newborn and ship the 18 mo old off to daycare everyday? I just don't get it!
Yup and given the same situation I think 90 plus percent of people would do the same thing. This makes me think of a very sad situation I had not long ago. I had a dcm that was on maternity leave and her mother and her MIL were both in town for a week staying with her to help out. Her husband was also off work that week. So we have 4 adults all in the same house for a week and wouldn't you know it... They brought their 18 mo old to me EVERYDAY that week, from open to close! I was so stunned! I even offered to give them a vacation week unpaid and they declined. Why would they need 4 adults to take care of 1 newborn and ship the 18 mo old off to daycare everyday? I just don't get it!
The 18 month old is a MILLION times harder to take care of then a snuggly newborn.
Mike Lassiter 09:14 AM 04-13-2011
Years ago now, my (then) mother in-law would always tell my wife and I "That's what Grandparents are for - to spoil them, then send them home to mama." She would say this every time we fussed about THEM spoiling OUR kids. We would tell the kids "no" and then grandparent(s) would under mine that by telling them they could anyway - "it won't hurt anything".
Wife and I got pretty worked up several times by this because they are OUR KIDS, not your kids. As parents we decide what they do and don't do when we are present. As grandparents we trust you to never do anything to hurt our kids and never allow them to do things they shouldn't. I remember many times growing up the only reason for do or don't was because "I said so." That should be good enough for the grandparents too.
From the things I have saw, many parents find it "easier" to allow the kids to do as they please so they don't have to parent. Buy them expensive things they will not take care of, to keep them occupied and out of the parents hair. With that said, perhaps Grandparents don't want to deal with their spoiled grandkids. I want to see my grandkids - and they ARE going to mind me. As all of you know, it's not easy to be a parent especially if you have to live in bad places for kids to grownup because of the things they become exposed to. Most parents just want the kids to go somewhere and be quite.
That's why they become difficult I think - lack of direction growing up. It's harder to parent and be apart of your kids life's. It takes time and effort. And as with so many things; you get back what you put into it. If children are growing up with no direction or supervision, THEY are raising their selfs.
I'm not saying this applies to EVERYBODY, but I have saw more than once the kids were basically running the household and parents allowed it because it was easier than saying no or making them follow instructions. Not sure I have said what I was trying to, but enough.
Wife and I got pretty worked up several times by this because they are OUR KIDS, not your kids. As parents we decide what they do and don't do when we are present. As grandparents we trust you to never do anything to hurt our kids and never allow them to do things they shouldn't. I remember many times growing up the only reason for do or don't was because "I said so." That should be good enough for the grandparents too.
From the things I have saw, many parents find it "easier" to allow the kids to do as they please so they don't have to parent. Buy them expensive things they will not take care of, to keep them occupied and out of the parents hair. With that said, perhaps Grandparents don't want to deal with their spoiled grandkids. I want to see my grandkids - and they ARE going to mind me. As all of you know, it's not easy to be a parent especially if you have to live in bad places for kids to grownup because of the things they become exposed to. Most parents just want the kids to go somewhere and be quite.
That's why they become difficult I think - lack of direction growing up. It's harder to parent and be apart of your kids life's. It takes time and effort. And as with so many things; you get back what you put into it. If children are growing up with no direction or supervision, THEY are raising their selfs.
I'm not saying this applies to EVERYBODY, but I have saw more than once the kids were basically running the household and parents allowed it because it was easier than saying no or making them follow instructions. Not sure I have said what I was trying to, but enough.
TBird 09:38 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
You may be right, but this greatly saddens and confuses me. I can almost understand, in this entitlement age, the parents wanting time away from the kids, as they have them all the time. I don't agree with it, but can almost see it. But the grandparents?? That's the best part of grandkids - you can love on em all you want and then send them home! If you lived 4 hours away, why would you NOT pick up and spend the afternoon with them?!?
I have a 3 yo grand-daughter. She is my world. She's 3, she has the attitude of a 3 year old, and she's spoiled. But I love every piece of her and spend as much time as possible with her. She comes every Friday and I look forward to Fridays for that reason. On the occasional day that she doesn't come, I miss her terribly. I can't imagine not having her in my life and spending time with her. I just don't get grandparents (especially) who don't want anything to do with their grandkids!! Is it really because there's so much more in life to do? Do people just not matter anymore? Or are the kids today so out of control that even grandparents don't want to bother with them?
My mom is the same way you are....she wouldn't miss a MINUTE of the madness!!!You may be right, but this greatly saddens and confuses me. I can almost understand, in this entitlement age, the parents wanting time away from the kids, as they have them all the time. I don't agree with it, but can almost see it. But the grandparents?? That's the best part of grandkids - you can love on em all you want and then send them home! If you lived 4 hours away, why would you NOT pick up and spend the afternoon with them?!?
I have a 3 yo grand-daughter. She is my world. She's 3, she has the attitude of a 3 year old, and she's spoiled. But I love every piece of her and spend as much time as possible with her. She comes every Friday and I look forward to Fridays for that reason. On the occasional day that she doesn't come, I miss her terribly. I can't imagine not having her in my life and spending time with her. I just don't get grandparents (especially) who don't want anything to do with their grandkids!! Is it really because there's so much more in life to do? Do people just not matter anymore? Or are the kids today so out of control that even grandparents don't want to bother with them?
BUT I am a super responsible parent and she never feels like she HAS to take care of me or my kids. There are sooooooo many grandparents out there that are taken advantage of and treated like dirt by their irresponsible children (as it pertains to their grandchildren). I believe that this is the reason that a lot of grandparents "drop out" and don't do anything AT ALL for their grandchildren unless it's an emergency. It's kind of like some of them have to safeguard themselves against being used. It's so so sad, but true in a lot of cases.
MsMe 09:44 AM 04-13-2011
funny you mention a newborn situation. I have a DCF that had a baby a week ago today. MOM DAD AND ONE GMA are home and they too 4 yr boyt to teh DR today, He has ear infection. "we are running lare can you make sure to save him lunch we will be there in a minute!'
OMG stay at home with your KIDS! You just had a baby do you really think it is making him feel like a 'special' big brother to be shipped off to daycare even when he is sick and MOM DAD AND GMA are home to spend time with the precious new baby!!?!?!?!?
It has been my observation that 50 of the parent I have in my care should have never had children and there are a few I have a hard time looking in the eye I think so littel of them.
OMG stay at home with your KIDS! You just had a baby do you really think it is making him feel like a 'special' big brother to be shipped off to daycare even when he is sick and MOM DAD AND GMA are home to spend time with the precious new baby!!?!?!?!?
It has been my observation that 50 of the parent I have in my care should have never had children and there are a few I have a hard time looking in the eye I think so littel of them.
GretasLittleFriends 10:18 AM 04-13-2011
How sad that this is the way things are going!
I am very thankful to have a mom that is quite the opposite. She is home on maternity leave and her older boy is home too. He just turned 3. He will be coming one day this week because mom has some errands to run about 1.25 hours away from home (2.5hrs round trip). That is a long car ride for the little man, and he is going through withdrawals not playing with the other kids. She called and asked if I would mind taking him for about 4 hours or so. I didn't mind in the least. The weather is supposed to be bad rain/snow mix. She said if it were to be a nice day she would take him with and go to a particular park up in that area and make it a fun day. Since it's not a good forecast she just wants to go, do her business then come back home. It's been 2 or 3 weeks since I've had this little guy, and I don't expect to see him again until mom goes back to work.
I am very thankful to have a mom that is quite the opposite. She is home on maternity leave and her older boy is home too. He just turned 3. He will be coming one day this week because mom has some errands to run about 1.25 hours away from home (2.5hrs round trip). That is a long car ride for the little man, and he is going through withdrawals not playing with the other kids. She called and asked if I would mind taking him for about 4 hours or so. I didn't mind in the least. The weather is supposed to be bad rain/snow mix. She said if it were to be a nice day she would take him with and go to a particular park up in that area and make it a fun day. Since it's not a good forecast she just wants to go, do her business then come back home. It's been 2 or 3 weeks since I've had this little guy, and I don't expect to see him again until mom goes back to work.
E Daycare 10:32 AM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
You may be right, but this greatly saddens and confuses me. I can almost understand, in this entitlement age, the parents wanting time away from the kids, as they have them all the time. I don't agree with it, but can almost see it. But the grandparents?? That's the best part of grandkids - you can love on em all you want and then send them home! If you lived 4 hours away, why would you NOT pick up and spend the afternoon with them?!?
I have a 3 yo grand-daughter. She is my world. She's 3, she has the attitude of a 3 year old, and she's spoiled. But I love every piece of her and spend as much time as possible with her. She comes every Friday and I look forward to Fridays for that reason. On the occasional day that she doesn't come, I miss her terribly. I can't imagine not having her in my life and spending time with her. I just don't get grandparents (especially) who don't want anything to do with their grandkids!! Is it really because there's so much more in life to do? Do people just not matter anymore? Or are the kids today so out of control that even grandparents don't want to bother with them?
Youre a wonderful grandmother and your grand daughter will forever love you because of this!You may be right, but this greatly saddens and confuses me. I can almost understand, in this entitlement age, the parents wanting time away from the kids, as they have them all the time. I don't agree with it, but can almost see it. But the grandparents?? That's the best part of grandkids - you can love on em all you want and then send them home! If you lived 4 hours away, why would you NOT pick up and spend the afternoon with them?!?
I have a 3 yo grand-daughter. She is my world. She's 3, she has the attitude of a 3 year old, and she's spoiled. But I love every piece of her and spend as much time as possible with her. She comes every Friday and I look forward to Fridays for that reason. On the occasional day that she doesn't come, I miss her terribly. I can't imagine not having her in my life and spending time with her. I just don't get grandparents (especially) who don't want anything to do with their grandkids!! Is it really because there's so much more in life to do? Do people just not matter anymore? Or are the kids today so out of control that even grandparents don't want to bother with them?
My mother passed away 16 yrs ago when I was on the cusp of being a teenager, my father never remarried and my brother and I moved out right at 18. So my dad has had A LONG time being on his own and is the "paying" grandparent. He sends savings bonds, plays Santa at Christmas and gives my nephew dollar coins to save but other then that, thats where his "hands on" ends. MY husband and I also live 7hrs away from our home town so it makes it harder.
My mother in law on the other hand? She is GRANDMA and she loves it!! She waited a long 8yrs for us to get pregnant and she drives down when she can to spend time with DS, gets up with him when shes here, feeds him, snuggles him, sits in on bath, all of it. When we go home we stay at her house because we know how much she loves seeing DS in his PJs first thing in the morning. She is what I call the grandma grandma. There are the grandparents you visit on holidays and the ones you see all the time no matter what. I have that, my moms parents are stuffy and off putting but my dads mom helped to raise us after my mother died. My dads mom is GRANDMA to us. DH, his dads parents wanted to be called Nana and Papa because grandma and grandpa sounded too old. His moms parents are grandma (and was grandpa).
Sad how now a days NO ONE wants to spend time with kids. I lost my mother young and will do everything in my power to spend time with my DS as much as I can. I love him, he was the missing piece to my puzzle. He needs the love, the memories, the support and most of all, me. He will always know I want to spend time with him and enjoy him.
We are on borrowed time.
Lucy 02:09 PM 04-13-2011
Originally Posted by Gurdy:
This makes me think of a very sad situation I had not long ago. I had a dcm that was on maternity leave and her mother and her MIL were both in town for a week staying with her to help out. Her husband was also off work that week. So we have 4 adults all in the same house for a week and wouldn't you know it... They brought their 18 mo old to me EVERYDAY that week, from open to close! I was so stunned! I even offered to give them a vacation week unpaid and they declined. Why would they need 4 adults to take care of 1 newborn and ship the 18 mo old off to daycare everyday? I just don't get it!
I hesitate to take the parents' side on this... and really I'm not fully taking their side... but my thoughts on this is that maybe they don't want to disrupt the 18 mo old's routine. We all know how it can happen that when a child is home for a week, then comes back to us, they can be little hellions the first day or so. This makes me think of a very sad situation I had not long ago. I had a dcm that was on maternity leave and her mother and her MIL were both in town for a week staying with her to help out. Her husband was also off work that week. So we have 4 adults all in the same house for a week and wouldn't you know it... They brought their 18 mo old to me EVERYDAY that week, from open to close! I was so stunned! I even offered to give them a vacation week unpaid and they declined. Why would they need 4 adults to take care of 1 newborn and ship the 18 mo old off to daycare everyday? I just don't get it!
I'm probably looking at this through rose-colored glasses, but maybe they just want their 18 mo old to continue to benefit from the interaction with kids his/her own age. No? Ok, probably not. But it's a valid possibility. *shrug*
ETA: Or as someone above pointed out, maybe the grandparents are the type that spoil the heck out of the 18 month old, and the parents are more strict, and the parents just didn't want to deal with how badly the grandparents spoil him/her. I don't know.... I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person I guess!
Unregistered 03:59 PM 04-14-2011
My daughter-in-law nicknamed me "Psycho Nana" from when the twins were tiny...we actually had a run in and were both a little ticked off at each other because she thought I was stepping on their toes (and she was right!) but thankfully we worked it all out and are best friends again...I'd KILL to spend time with my grandsons and even though they are now 13 years old, they do still spend some time with their old Nana...which I LOVE!
I can see both sides...the child is away from daycare and gets all out of whack with schedules , etc. BUT why don't parents want to spend time with their kids?? Because the kids, in a lot of cases, run the show and the parents don't like it but don't know how to be the PARENT!
It's easier to have the daycare provider do all the grunt work and put up with the nasty behaivour...I've had parents here who want their 2 year olds to not nap so they can put them to bed at 6 p.m. at night...after they've picked them up at 5:30!! It would be too much trouble to look after them ...
I'd love to go back to the days of my son being a toddler so I could have a "do over" and enjoy it all again...LOL!! I enjoyed every minute of my grandsons as toddlers (they spent quite a bit of time here with us) and I miss those snuggly, sticky kiss days SO much...
I can see both sides...the child is away from daycare and gets all out of whack with schedules , etc. BUT why don't parents want to spend time with their kids?? Because the kids, in a lot of cases, run the show and the parents don't like it but don't know how to be the PARENT!
It's easier to have the daycare provider do all the grunt work and put up with the nasty behaivour...I've had parents here who want their 2 year olds to not nap so they can put them to bed at 6 p.m. at night...after they've picked them up at 5:30!! It would be too much trouble to look after them ...
I'd love to go back to the days of my son being a toddler so I could have a "do over" and enjoy it all again...LOL!! I enjoyed every minute of my grandsons as toddlers (they spent quite a bit of time here with us) and I miss those snuggly, sticky kiss days SO much...
Unregistered 09:31 AM 04-15-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I hesitate to take the parents' side on this... and really I'm not fully taking their side... but my thoughts on this is that maybe they don't want to disrupt the 18 mo old's routine. We all know how it can happen that when a child is home for a week, then comes back to us, they can be little hellions the first day or so.
I'm probably looking at this through rose-colored glasses, but maybe they just want their 18 mo old to continue to benefit from the interaction with kids his/her own age. No? Ok, probably not. But it's a valid possibility. *shrug*
ETA: Or as someone above pointed out, maybe the grandparents are the type that spoil the heck out of the 18 month old, and the parents are more strict, and the parents just didn't want to deal with how badly the grandparents spoil him/her. I don't know.... I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person I guess!
I hesitate to take the parents' side on this... and really I'm not fully taking their side... but my thoughts on this is that maybe they don't want to disrupt the 18 mo old's routine. We all know how it can happen that when a child is home for a week, then comes back to us, they can be little hellions the first day or so.
I'm probably looking at this through rose-colored glasses, but maybe they just want their 18 mo old to continue to benefit from the interaction with kids his/her own age. No? Ok, probably not. But it's a valid possibility. *shrug*
ETA: Or as someone above pointed out, maybe the grandparents are the type that spoil the heck out of the 18 month old, and the parents are more strict, and the parents just didn't want to deal with how badly the grandparents spoil him/her. I don't know.... I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person I guess!
I think this is exactly the case for many families. My sister works and goes to school and commited to 5 days of daycare b/c she wasnt certain with studying, work, and on the job practicum stuff how much actual daycare she needed. She didnt want to short me or mess with me every week about what sched the kids were coming so they come 8-4 everyday. The last two weeks her dad has been up here helping and she has kept one kid home everyday and sent the other one (usually the older- in need of structure and engagement one). I think its more about consistency, routine, and structure. How much structure would be present in a house with a newborn and a bunch of grandparents? None in my experience, so if I had the option I would send my kids too and then get everything done so that the min I picked them up I could be engaged 100%. Plus they say not to make big changes when babies are born. Ripping a kid from daycare (and all their fun and friends) doesnt sound to me like a plesant way to adjust to all the changes going on with a new baby.
I also think the parents dont want to mess with you too much either. IMO they respect you and think highly of you and the service you offer so why wouldnt they want to provide you with some consistency and routine too. Maybe they are afraid if they make to many waves you will get rid of them.
Lucy 12:44 PM 04-17-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think this is exactly the case for many families. My sister works and goes to school and commited to 5 days of daycare b/c she wasnt certain with studying, work, and on the job practicum stuff how much actual daycare she needed. She didnt want to short me or mess with me every week about what sched the kids were coming so they come 8-4 everyday. The last two weeks her dad has been up here helping and she has kept one kid home everyday and sent the other one (usually the older- in need of structure and engagement one). I think its more about consistency, routine, and structure. How much structure would be present in a house with a newborn and a bunch of grandparents? None in my experience, so if I had the option I would send my kids too and then get everything done so that the min I picked them up I could be engaged 100%. Plus they say not to make big changes when babies are born. Ripping a kid from daycare (and all their fun and friends) doesnt sound to me like a plesant way to adjust to all the changes going on with a new baby.
I also think the parents dont want to mess with you too much either. IMO they respect you and think highly of you and the service you offer so why wouldnt they want to provide you with some consistency and routine too. Maybe they are afraid if they make to many waves you will get rid of them.
Yes, exactly. I will admit there are some who I feel like they just want to "get rid of" the kids whenever they can, but something in this case tells me they're just going for consistency and routine. You have a valid point about the older sibling syndrome when new baby comes home. You don't want to upset the apple cart!!I think this is exactly the case for many families. My sister works and goes to school and commited to 5 days of daycare b/c she wasnt certain with studying, work, and on the job practicum stuff how much actual daycare she needed. She didnt want to short me or mess with me every week about what sched the kids were coming so they come 8-4 everyday. The last two weeks her dad has been up here helping and she has kept one kid home everyday and sent the other one (usually the older- in need of structure and engagement one). I think its more about consistency, routine, and structure. How much structure would be present in a house with a newborn and a bunch of grandparents? None in my experience, so if I had the option I would send my kids too and then get everything done so that the min I picked them up I could be engaged 100%. Plus they say not to make big changes when babies are born. Ripping a kid from daycare (and all their fun and friends) doesnt sound to me like a plesant way to adjust to all the changes going on with a new baby.
I also think the parents dont want to mess with you too much either. IMO they respect you and think highly of you and the service you offer so why wouldnt they want to provide you with some consistency and routine too. Maybe they are afraid if they make to many waves you will get rid of them.
Gurdy 08:12 AM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think this is exactly the case for many families. My sister works and goes to school and commited to 5 days of daycare b/c she wasnt certain with studying, work, and on the job practicum stuff how much actual daycare she needed. She didnt want to short me or mess with me every week about what sched the kids were coming so they come 8-4 everyday. The last two weeks her dad has been up here helping and she has kept one kid home everyday and sent the other one (usually the older- in need of structure and engagement one). I think its more about consistency, routine, and structure. How much structure would be present in a house with a newborn and a bunch of grandparents? None in my experience, so if I had the option I would send my kids too and then get everything done so that the min I picked them up I could be engaged 100%. Plus they say not to make big changes when babies are born. Ripping a kid from daycare (and all their fun and friends) doesnt sound to me like a plesant way to adjust to all the changes going on with a new baby.
I also think the parents dont want to mess with you too much either. IMO they respect you and think highly of you and the service you offer so why wouldnt they want to provide you with some consistency and routine too. Maybe they are afraid if they make to many waves you will get rid of them.
Truthfully, I think that parents use these reasons as excuses to justify the fact that they do not want to take care of their own kids because they are not used to having to do that all day. It is too hard for them. It is much easier to ship them off and not have to worry about their day to day needs.I think this is exactly the case for many families. My sister works and goes to school and commited to 5 days of daycare b/c she wasnt certain with studying, work, and on the job practicum stuff how much actual daycare she needed. She didnt want to short me or mess with me every week about what sched the kids were coming so they come 8-4 everyday. The last two weeks her dad has been up here helping and she has kept one kid home everyday and sent the other one (usually the older- in need of structure and engagement one). I think its more about consistency, routine, and structure. How much structure would be present in a house with a newborn and a bunch of grandparents? None in my experience, so if I had the option I would send my kids too and then get everything done so that the min I picked them up I could be engaged 100%. Plus they say not to make big changes when babies are born. Ripping a kid from daycare (and all their fun and friends) doesnt sound to me like a plesant way to adjust to all the changes going on with a new baby.
I also think the parents dont want to mess with you too much either. IMO they respect you and think highly of you and the service you offer so why wouldnt they want to provide you with some consistency and routine too. Maybe they are afraid if they make to many waves you will get rid of them.
I worked outside of the home for a while and thankfully had my Mom watch my kids when I worked daytime hours. Everyday I had off I had my kids with me. Why? Because I actually wanted to be with them and change their diapers and take care of them. My point is that I wanted to do everything for them the good and the bad. It seems some parents just dont want to deal with the hard part of being a parent.
Routines and schedules are very important, but everyone, even preschoolers, need a vacation from that sometimes. Parents tend to be so concerned about their "me time" that they forget kids need time off too. IMO kids need lots of extra hugs and time with Mommy after having a new baby brought in to their lives, not to be shipped off everyday from 7am to 5pm.
countrymom 08:27 AM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by Gurdy:
Truthfully, I think that parents use these reasons as excuses to justify the fact that they do not want to take care of their own kids because they are not used to having to do that all day. It is too hard for them. It is much easier to ship them off and not have to worry about their day to day needs.
I worked outside of the home for a while and thankfully had my Mom watch my kids when I worked daytime hours. Everyday I had off I had my kids with me. Why? Because I actually wanted to be with them and change their diapers and take care of them. My point is that I wanted to do everything for them the good and the bad. It seems some parents just dont want to deal with the hard part of being a parent.
Routines and schedules are very important, but everyone, even preschoolers, need a vacation from that sometimes. Parents tend to be so concerned about their "me time" that they forget kids need time off too. IMO kids need lots of extra hugs and time with Mommy after having a new baby brought in to their lives, not to be shipped off everyday from 7am to 5pm.
your first paragraph said it all. I think parents don't know what to do with their kids all day. I'm serious. Ask the parents what they did with their kids all weekend, then you will know what kind of parents you are dealing with. Also your right about kids needed a vacation. I too think that kids need a break from routine, just like we need days off, school kids need days off too and so do daycare kids.Truthfully, I think that parents use these reasons as excuses to justify the fact that they do not want to take care of their own kids because they are not used to having to do that all day. It is too hard for them. It is much easier to ship them off and not have to worry about their day to day needs.
I worked outside of the home for a while and thankfully had my Mom watch my kids when I worked daytime hours. Everyday I had off I had my kids with me. Why? Because I actually wanted to be with them and change their diapers and take care of them. My point is that I wanted to do everything for them the good and the bad. It seems some parents just dont want to deal with the hard part of being a parent.
Routines and schedules are very important, but everyone, even preschoolers, need a vacation from that sometimes. Parents tend to be so concerned about their "me time" that they forget kids need time off too. IMO kids need lots of extra hugs and time with Mommy after having a new baby brought in to their lives, not to be shipped off everyday from 7am to 5pm.