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Old 12-13-2013, 08:56 AM
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Default Gifts Problem Families/Children

So I see that a lot of you give out gifts as the children are heading out the door. And there are always those kids that take the week off from work so you don't have their children.

My question is; if you have a problem family with repeated lack of respect for you or children that are such a problem but you cant term, do you get them gifts if you know they wont be in care? Or do you maybe spend less on them then the others? This was a debate between another provider and I so I'm curious to what the majority think!
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:03 AM
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I spend about $20 per child regardless of how I feel about them or the family.
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:04 AM
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i try to be equal at christmas and buy in bulk.but for birthdays i favor others more!
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:05 AM
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I always pick out special gifts for each child but I spend the same amount on each. This year- I am giving a box of legos to one dcb, lalaloopsy to my dcg, sticker books to my 2 yo dcb- they will all love them and they are specific to their interests.

I am going to give dcb who is a total terror and whose parents are totally disrespectful, who always has the best of everything and brings in and brags every day even though we don't allow toys- preschool workbooks (ya know because he LOVES to learn at home, he's just a terror during preschool time for me because I must be doing something wrong)

AND dcb who doesn't ever get new clothing even though big sis has a wardrobe to make a grown woman cry - I'm gonna give him socks! (he will love them, they are his favorite character )
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Great Beginnings View Post
So I see that a lot of you give out gifts as the children are heading out the door. And there are always those kids that take the week off from work so you don't have their children.

My question is; if you have a problem family with repeated lack of respect for you or children that are such a problem but you cant term, do you get them gifts if you know they wont be in care? Or do you maybe spend less on them then the others? This was a debate between another provider and I so I'm curious to what the majority think!
For other reasons as well as to avoid situations like that ^^, I simply don't give gifts to DCK's or parents.

The kids do lots of fun holiday crafts and activities and we also have a charity drive but the always inevitable forgotten gift participant or absent kid makes buying gifts for the kids too stressful and difficult so I just skip it and do other things instead.
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:10 AM
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I buy the same for everyone, then again I only work for families that I get along with fine
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by JoseyJo View Post
I am going to give dcb who is a total terror and whose parents are totally disrespectful, who always has the best of everything and brings in and brags every day even though we don't allow toys- preschool workbooks (ya know because he LOVES to learn at home, he's just a terror during preschool time for me because I must be doing something wrong)
Lol!! That is too funny and such a great idea!!
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Old 12-13-2013, 11:56 AM
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I give books to all children. One book per kid, usually given at their last day before Christmas, or there about. I do try to hit their interests, but I also love to give classics that my kids loved, but many kids don't know.
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Old 12-23-2013, 09:29 AM
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I buy for all children in my care. I spend approximately the same amount but buy a gift based on their current likes. This year 4 year old dcg is into Batman and told me she wanted a Batman toy so that is what she got. 6 yr old loves art and crafting so she got a big Hello Kitty art set.
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Old 12-23-2013, 09:42 AM
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I also do not buy any presents for parents or kids at Christmas. We do plenty of take home crafts etc. butno gift. I do not feel like it's my job to buy the kids a toy at all. When I buy them toys they are for daycare to play with here. No way am I spending money for them to have a toy at home. I want the benefit of a new toy here.
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Old 12-23-2013, 09:43 AM
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I used to go all out for my kids until one 9 yr old girl handed me her present back and said "I don't want this dollar store ****".

It WASNT $ store stuff, and from then on, I stopped buying gifts for them all. It kind of ruined it for me.

They all get a free scholastic book I get with my points.
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:00 AM
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This is the LAST year I will buy gifts for dcks. I will buy them a book (because some of them don't have any, or only a very few) but that's IT.

Today was our Christmas party, and I am OVER IT. I had one dcb scream and throw a MASSIVE tantrum because other dcb got a bigger car than him (same exact toy in different colors).

DCG said "I want something else."

I spent $25 per kid, x 8 kids. Next year, I'm taking myself to get dinner and have a few glasses of wine!
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
This is the LAST year I will buy gifts for dcks. I will buy them a book (because some of them don't have any, or only a very few) but that's IT.

Today was our Christmas party, and I am OVER IT. I had one dcb scream and throw a MASSIVE tantrum because other dcb got a bigger car than him (same exact toy in different colors).

DCG said "I want something else."

I spent $25 per kid, x 8 kids. Next year, I'm taking myself to get dinner and have a few glasses of wine!
I would have been tempted to tell tantrum boy if he didn't want it fine that I'd take it. Then I'd give it to DCG who wanted something else. Problem solved!!!

Laurel
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:23 AM
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I do buy gifts for my DC kids, but not the parents. They seem to be grateful to me just buying for their DCB or G, but I do get gifts from the DC parents.

I always give books at Christmas time, along with an outfit because most of my children are from low income homes. When they come to my care, they barely have the right amount of clothing or the wrong size clothing. Children their ages, you can find nice clothing for very discounted prices. I never buy toys. They will get those eventually from their own parents or someone else in their families.
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Moppetland View Post
I do buy gifts for my DC kids, but not the parents. They seem to be grateful to me just buying for their DCB or G, but I do get gifts from the DC parents.

I always give books at Christmas time, along with an outfit because most of my children are from low income homes. When they come to my care, they barely have the right amount of clothing or the wrong size clothing. Children their ages, you can find nice clothing for very discounted prices. I never buy toys. They will get those eventually from their own parents or someone else in their families.
Your post reminds me of a teacher my granddaughter had in kindergarten. The school was in a low income area and she gave each child a sweatshirt for a gift. We are in S. Florida so that is all they really need when it gets chilly. I thought that was so neat. She probably looks out for them all year and finds deals.

Laurel
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:46 AM
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I buy the same thing for all my kids and NOT $20 each either. Holy Moly. I just get something small. Book, puzzle, stuffy, etc. Often I include an ornament I made or, like this year, a reindeer candycane. And they go home. We don't open here.

I used to do a Polly exchange and would get parents who spent hardly anything and others who got huge items. Cut that after one time.

To answer the question though, I would NEVER NEVER EVER get something more special for one child over another simply because I 'favored' him/her over another. Sorry but that is just wrong. If that child isn't a 'fav' it isn't really his fault. Business issues or behavior issues almost always stem from the parents so why would I ever buy something nicer for one child over another? If you can't treat your children equal, then don't get anything.
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
I would have been tempted to tell tantrum boy if he didn't want it fine that I'd take it. Then I'd give it to DCG who wanted something else. Problem solved!!!

Laurel
CLEVER! Wish I had thought of that! Princess can have a truck and dcb can have nothing..
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
For other reasons as well as to avoid situations like that ^^, I simply don't give gifts to DCK's or parents.

The kids do lots of fun holiday crafts and activities and we also have a charity drive but the always inevitable forgotten gift participant or absent kid makes buying gifts for the kids too stressful and difficult so I just skip it and do other things instead.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:14 AM
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This year I embroidered hand towels with each child's name on it. All the girls had the same floral designs, in their favorite colors, and the one boy I have had tools embroidered with his name. Same for everyone. Maybe not overly exciting for the kids, but hey, who doesn't like something with their name on it? I do not get gifts for parents.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:16 AM
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I keep every gift equal no matter what and I would not leave anyone out. I spend about $15 per child. This year I did the Milo and Otis animal movie for each and the smaller pillow pet in their fave animals. They all were very happy and ran up and gave me hugs and said thank you. I have never had a child that was a stinker about a gift. I do Christmas and their birthdays. We also made a craft for their parents for Christmas.

To those that don't do gifts, just curious if the parents give you a Christmas gift.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:19 AM
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They make their mama and dad an ornament (glass) we wrap it all up. I got them all a book and I make them reindeer food because they love it. Write out a little Christmas card. Some years I send home some cookies but I didn't have time this weekend.
I try to keep Christmas very low key because I feel like society doesn't. Kids are just crazy by this point so we have had a very quiet, on schedule day with an extra 30 minutes tacked on to the beginning of naptime I figure they will need it tomorrow!
When they come back Thursday, I will get to hear all of the wonderful things they got and have an extra long naptime

Oh and back to original question...I would send home the same "token gift" to everyone. Kids talk and I wouldn't want hurt feelings.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:56 AM
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I have always given a book and small token gift. This year they are getting the book and a lamp for their room both of which I paid $0.00 for. Last winter we cleaned the home of a hoarder friend and I found the books and these lamps, new in package. Even the wrapping paper and cards were from there.

Every time I gift or use something from our "stash" I say "Thank You Paula".
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Old 12-23-2013, 12:01 PM
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I make a gift for dcp. Usually a goody jar. This year i sent home a decorated jar filled with hersheys kisses. For dck, i am sending home reindeer food and a treat bag.
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Old 12-23-2013, 12:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
This is the LAST year I will buy gifts for dcks. I will buy them a book (because some of them don't have any, or only a very few) but that's IT.

Today was our Christmas party, and I am OVER IT. I had one dcb scream and throw a MASSIVE tantrum because other dcb got a bigger car than him (same exact toy in different colors).

DCG said "I want something else."

I spent $25 per kid, x 8 kids. Next year, I'm taking myself to get dinner and have a few glasses of wine!
I am in the same boat this year--I gave kids Scholastic books and a St. Jude's candy cane and the parents got a Yankee Candle gift set (my husband is a store manager). Not ONE single token of appreciation in return. It's Christmas and none of them gave me anything. I know this sounds like a tantrum but I am done after this year. And to top it off--no one bothered to call and tell me they wouldn't be showing today so I am currently watching 1 child out of 8. I really could have used that time today to get errands finished. Bleck!
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Old 12-23-2013, 12:53 PM
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Each of my girls got a barbie and my one little dcb got a guitar of equal value. I also could not do "special" gifts for one over another. I have to keep it equal, just like with the nieces and nephews.
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:40 PM
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I am in the same boat this year--I gave kids Scholastic books and a St. Jude's candy cane and the parents got a Yankee Candle gift set (my husband is a store manager). Not ONE single token of appreciation in return. It's Christmas and none of them gave me anything. I know this sounds like a tantrum but I am done after this year. And to top it off--no one bothered to call and tell me they wouldn't be showing today so I am currently watching 1 child out of 8. I really could have used that time today to get errands finished. Bleck!
Ugh!!! Same thing here! I got up at 6:30 expecting 6 kids. About 8 I got a text saying sorry we are running late and that was the only kid that showed up today! I would have taken off had I known I would have one kid Then to make matters worse today we were going to watch a Christmas movie, open their gifts from me and have some Christmas cookies. Now come to find out the other 5 kids are off for the week and all 3 families "forgot" to mention it. Honestly, I just want to take all the gifts back and buy myself something nice! The one that showed up today I did give the gift to. And out of all 4 families, this one that did show up today is the only one that got me a Christmas gift. I got another from a family that I knew would be off this week. I'm irritated I spent all this time, money and effort on our party today and no one could be considerate enough to show!
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Old 12-23-2013, 03:10 PM
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Ugh!!! Same thing here! I got up at 6:30 expecting 6 kids. About 8 I got a text saying sorry we are running late and that was the only kid that showed up today! I would have taken off had I known I would have one kid Then to make matters worse today we were going to watch a Christmas movie, open their gifts from me and have some Christmas cookies. Now come to find out the other 5 kids are off for the week and all 3 families "forgot" to mention it. Honestly, I just want to take all the gifts back and buy myself something nice! The one that showed up today I did give the gift to. And out of all 4 families, this one that did show up today is the only one that got me a Christmas gift. I got another from a family that I knew would be off this week. I'm irritated I spent all this time, money and effort on our party today and no one could be considerate enough to show!
I am sorry this happened to you! I made Christmas cookies on my own today. I think next year since the 26th is a Friday I am going to take that day off for sure. I am not going to be played like this again.
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Old 12-24-2013, 09:48 AM
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I am sorry this happened to you! I made Christmas cookies on my own today. I think next year since the 26th is a Friday I am going to take that day off for sure. I am not going to be played like this again.
Same here! Next year I am taking Christmas Eve thru the day after off! I'm done being considerate!

Today, Christmas Eve I tell parents if they have to work to let me know. One mom, a nurse said she needed to bring the kids. So she brings them 8:30 with nothing to eat and says I'm just going home to wrap gifts, I'll be back after nap! Seriously?? Done! For now on I'm off!!
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Old 12-24-2013, 11:18 AM
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I ended up getting one dcg something that cost a couple of dollars more than the others because it was something I knew she would really like (she did). The others got something that I knew they would love, even though they cost a bit less. (They did.) I even got an older sibing something equal, even though he has never stayed here. He comes running in at pickup and makes himself and home, and when they leave, he runs over and gives me a hug and kiss. How could I not include him? All 4 also got Christmas stockings with some small items, candy, and an orange. These kids are more like my family than business. All of my grandkids are too big to buy toys for, so they're no fun anymore.

Our Christmas party was a bust though. DCG was sick and didn't feel like a party-she mostly slept all day. The other 2 are toddlers and don't know or care that it's Christmas. So, I froze the cookies and we will celebrate something else later.

I got a gift from one family along with a really lovely card and a note. Same family gave me a turkey for Thanksgiving. Third Christmas with the other family, so I wasn't expecting anything from them.

Merry Christmas you guys!!
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