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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I don't want to term, but...
Unregistered 08:07 AM 05-21-2014
I'm really at the end of my rope. I have an almost 10 month old boy who is not happy unless he's being held. He will not sleep unless he's being rocked and screams to the top of his lungs if I put him down. I do let him scream when I know there isn't anything wrong (tired, hungry, wet, teething, etc), especially when I need to tend to the two older kids. I've talked to the parents about it and they made comments like, "Well, I know we hold him a lot and that doesn't help." However, it's not getting any better.

When he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he screams and cries. I want to try and make this work, but I don't know how. I have him and his 3 year old sister 10 1/2 hours a day, 4 days a week. It makes for a long week and me dreading when they pull in the driveway.
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CordiallyCranberry 08:15 AM 05-21-2014
How long have you had them? If it's been more than like 2-3 months and he just isn't adjusting, you might want to just term. Dreading your entire week because of one child is crappy. We've all been there, right? Do what you gotta do. :/
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Blackcat31 08:18 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm really at the end of my rope. I have an almost 10 month old boy who is not happy unless he's being held. He will not sleep unless he's being rocked and screams to the top of his lungs if I put him down. I do let him scream when I know there isn't anything wrong (tired, hungry, wet, teething, etc), especially when I need to tend to the two older kids. I've talked to the parents about it and they made comments like, "Well, I know we hold him a lot and that doesn't help." However, it's not getting any better.

When he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he screams and cries. I want to try and make this work, but I don't know how. I have him and his 3 year old sister 10 1/2 hours a day, 4 days a week. It makes for a long week and me dreading when they pull in the driveway.
BTDT,

If the parents are not on board with preparing their child for group care, it will be a tough thing to overcome in cases like this.

Sadly, I will NEVER enroll or keep a child again who's parents do not understand how their behavior at home affects their child.

I will never enroll a child in care again that has not been prepared for group care.

You can "train" him to not need to be held but if the parents continue to hold him at home, you will forever be paddling against the current.

NOT saying it can't be done, just that it WILL be a lot of work on YOUR end.
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Laurel 08:48 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm really at the end of my rope. I have an almost 10 month old boy who is not happy unless he's being held. He will not sleep unless he's being rocked and screams to the top of his lungs if I put him down. I do let him scream when I know there isn't anything wrong (tired, hungry, wet, teething, etc), especially when I need to tend to the two older kids. I've talked to the parents about it and they made comments like, "Well, I know we hold him a lot and that doesn't help." However, it's not getting any better.

When he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he screams and cries. I want to try and make this work, but I don't know how. I have him and his 3 year old sister 10 1/2 hours a day, 4 days a week. It makes for a long week and me dreading when they pull in the driveway.
Give them a date and tell them if he hasn't adjusted by then or hasn't improved a lot then you have no choice to do what is best for you and the other children. Be sweet and say that the screaming/crying is affecting the other children and they deserve a peaceful day. I had to do this before and it worked. Don't make the date too far off maybe like 2 weeks but reserve the right to term sooner if by the end of 1 week it looks hopeless.
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TaylorTots 09:21 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You can "train" him to not need to be held but if the parents continue to hold him at home, you will forever be paddling against the current.

NOT saying it can't be done, just that it WILL be a lot of work on YOUR end.
Agree. I have paddled against that current and I think DCKs are better off for my paddling but sometimes.... I should have just turned on the gas motor and let it go
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renodeb 09:26 AM 05-21-2014
To be honest, I think you have answered your own question. There's a saying in the dc world. "not all money is good money" I think that applies here.
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llpa 09:43 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by renodeb:
To be honest, I think you have answered your own question. There's a saying in the dc world. "not all money is good money" I think that applies here.

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countrymom 09:53 AM 05-21-2014
been there and done that and I'm glad I termed. Some kids are just not daycare material or their parents are not, not sure whose worse.
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josie2014 10:01 AM 05-21-2014
I term 4 month old last week for the same reason,I was feeling bad and doesn't wanna to term,but I couldn't handle anymore,parents got so mad bc I can't watch their daughter I try to adjust for over a month.My other kids and my own was so tired and I was so tired I almost didn't have break with her here.
Omg my house is so peaceful now,we play and go out at park and stay longer we wanted,they having great naps,I'm so happy...Best thing I ever did.If she's offer me 400 for watch her daughter I will say NO.
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Laurel 10:31 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by TaylorTots:
Agree. I have paddled against that current and I think DCKs are better off for my paddling but sometimes.... I should have just turned on the gas motor and let it go

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Laurel 10:33 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by josie2014:
I term 4 month old last week for the same reason,I was feeling bad and doesn't wanna to term,but I couldn't handle anymore,parents got so mad bc I can't watch their daughter I try to adjust for over a month.My other kids and my own was so tired and I was so tired I almost didn't have break with her here.
Omg my house is so peaceful now,we play and go out at park and stay longer we wanted,they having great naps,I'm so happy...Best thing I ever did.If she's offer me 400 for watch her daughter I will say NO.


It also isn't fair to you or the other children.

Laurel
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Sugar Magnolia 11:48 AM 05-21-2014
I feel your pain. I had this baby, also 10 months. I'm curious how long you've had him also. Mine took a full month to adjust. Hang in there, IF he is new. If it's been over a month or two, I'd term.
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