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LeslieG 06:37 AM 11-07-2013
What do you do about a 4 year old who doesn't want to do anything?... (unless I facilitate a project or something for her).

She will very rarely go play on her own. She is either laying on the ground doing nothing, at my side asking to watch a tv show or asking if I can play with her. I do play with her, but I feel like I shouldn't be doing that all day long. I have other kids that need attention and I think she needs to learn how to play on her own and use her imagination.

I don't know what to do with her... any suggestions?
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Cat Herder 06:52 AM 11-07-2013
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
a 4 year old

She will very rarely go play on her own. She is either laying on the ground doing nothing, at my side asking to watch a tv show or asking if I can play with her.

I do play with her

I don't know what to do with her... any suggestions?
I will quote a legend.

"Go play toys."

Rinse, repeat.
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LeslieG 07:27 AM 11-07-2013
I should clarify... I play with her sometimes, but not all the time. Sometimes she'll ask me to play with her (or if she can go watch a tv show), and I'll tell her "no, she needs to go find something to do"... she will then proceed to lay on the floor for 1/2 hour to an hour.
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Cat Herder 07:38 AM 11-07-2013
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
I should clarify... I play with her sometimes, but not all the time. Sometimes she'll ask me to play with her (or if she can go watch a tv show), and I'll tell her "no, she needs to go find something to do"... she will then proceed to lay on the floor for 1/2 hour to an hour.
To clarify: I was not speaking to your playing with her as the cause. My speech pattern is a bit different I am often told in forums (ADHD + deep south) bear with me, it is never intentional.

I was speaking to a minimal word, simple instruction, consistent, even-keeled toned, response from you. EVERY TIME, no discussion. Period. Dot.

**Every time she asks for something from you during free play the response should be "Go play toys". If she lays down *point* (no words) to her nap mat, if she states does not want to go to bed, then say "Go play toys".

Every time. Consistently.

I added a tag so you can read another thread...
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Play Care 07:39 AM 11-07-2013
The 4 yo girl I started in September was like that at first. I will be clear in that while I do group play with the kids, I don't play one on one (unless it's an infant) because it just never ends well... So I would buddy the child up and give "assignments" for them to do with their buddy, or I would give some suggestions - I would a make sure to list things I know she liked so it would appeal. And every so often I would also do the "go play toys" because it was clear she was being manipulative (if I claim boredom or wrap myself around her legs she will give in and turn on the tv or otherwise entertain me )

All that said if you've done those things and she's still not meshing then perhaps it's time to move on to a different environment.
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LeslieG 08:26 AM 11-07-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
To clarify: I was not speaking to your playing with her as the cause. My speech pattern is a bit different I am often told in forums (ADHD + deep south) bear with me, it is never intentional.

I was speaking to a minimal word, simple instruction, consistent, even-keeled toned, response from you. EVERY TIME, no discussion. Period. Dot.

**Every time she asks for something from you during free play the response should be "Go play toys". If she lays down *point* (no words) to her nap mat, if she states does not want to go to bed, then say "Go play toys".

Every time. Consistently.

I added a tag so you can read another thread...
Gotcha! That makes sense! I'm ready to just start being consistent, so I will try that. Thank you!
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countrymom 08:31 AM 11-07-2013
sounds to me that she is entertained all the time at home and then doesn't know what to do when on her own.

I agree with "go play toys" eventually they will learn to play. Its sad, but more and more kids are like this.
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blessed mom 08:39 AM 11-07-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
sounds to me that she is entertained all the time at home and then doesn't know what to do when on her own.

I agree with "go play toys" eventually they will learn to play. Its sad, but more and more kids are like this.
I had a child like this...she was an only child and used to being entertained all the time. She didn't have siblings to play with. She was four and she struggled in day care. She would just sit around while the other kids played. I would tell her to play but she wouldn't and complained that she was bored. This was just how the day went. She was here ten months and it didn't change. She just sat around except during our circle/organized times during the say. She didn't seem to want to play but do adult things like chatting or doing hair. She did my hair a lot! LOL! At any rate for this child things didn't change but mom reported she did better in Kindergarten.
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LeslieG 10:58 AM 11-07-2013
Originally Posted by blessed mom:
I had a child like this...she was an only child and used to being entertained all the time. She didn't have siblings to play with. She was four and she struggled in day care. She would just sit around while the other kids played. I would tell her to play but she wouldn't and complained that she was bored. This was just how the day went. She was here ten months and it didn't change. She just sat around except during our circle/organized times during the say. She didn't seem to want to play but do adult things like chatting or doing hair. She did my hair a lot! LOL! At any rate for this child things didn't change but mom reported she did better in Kindergarten.
She sounds very similar to my dcg. She is only 4 but acts so much older (I always ask her if she is 4 going on 40! lol)... she acts almost like playing with toys is so below her. When I tell her to go play, she'll usually respond with "But I'm not really a "play" girl"... that response drives me crazy!
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