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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCD Still Sending Emails
Little Star75 01:13 PM 04-15-2013
So I get an email form DCP requesting some items he left here. Diapers?? Ummm I been buying the diapers, zippy cup? Umm I returned it since I provide all brand new, movie? Ummm... Yes I have that. Then at the end DCP parent said let me know what time either myself or spouse can stop by?

So I replied with my email and said our spouse can stop by after 5pm, then I get replied " oh my spouse is busy so I will email when I'm ready to go?

I don't want DCP to come by anymore but how do I tell him in a professional, nice way that I don't want him here?
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Michelle 01:18 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by Little Star75:
So I get an email form DCP requesting some items he left here. Diapers?? Ummm I been buying the diapers, zippy cup? Umm I returned it since I provide all brand new, movie? Ummm... Yes I have that. Then at the end DCP parent said let me know what time either myself or spouse can stop by?

So I replied with my email and said our spouse can stop by after 5pm, then I get replied " oh my spouse is busy so I will email when I'm ready to go?

I don't want DCP to come by anymore but how do I tell him in a professional, nice way that I don't want him here?
can you mail it to them?
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sharlan 01:38 PM 04-15-2013
IMHO, you need to stop responding with this man. Tell him you will mail the movie, then send it registered. Do not have any further communication with them.

Dear DCP - I will be happy to mail you the movie. You do not need to stop by. Thank you, Little Star
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EntropyControlSpecialist 01:40 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
IMHO, you need to stop responding with this man. Tell him you will mail the movie, then send it registered. Do not have any further communication with them.
This exactly.
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Little Star75 01:41 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
IMHO, you need to stop responding with this man. Tell him you will mail the movie, then send it registered. Do not have any further communication with them.

Dear DCP - I will be happy to mail you the movie. You do not need to stop by. Thank you, Little Star
They actually live 1 block from me
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sharlan 02:23 PM 04-15-2013
I would mail it anyways and cut all contact. This man is still trying to show you who's the boss.
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Heidi 02:27 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I would mail it anyways and cut all contact. This man is still trying to show you who's the boss.

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crazydaycarelady 03:10 PM 04-15-2013
I would tell them that you will leave it on your porch.
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youretooloud 03:17 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I would tell them that you will leave it on your porch.
That's what I would do too... send him an email saying that if it's there tomorrow morning, you will donate it.

Tell him "Thank you, I hope you have time to pick it up" and then never respond to him again.
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Little Star75 04:07 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
That's what I would do too... send him an email saying that if it's there tomorrow morning, you will donate it.

Tell him "Thank you, I hope you have time to pick it up" and then never respond to him again.
But I rather have the spouse pick it up. I also just got a visit from licensing for a call this DCP made. This is too much!
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sharlan 04:11 PM 04-15-2013
IMHO, you don't want anyone to pick it up. You do not want them on your property. You want them to go away and let you run your business without the stress they cause.
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:24 PM 04-15-2013
I agree on mailing it even though they live on your block. I would probably call the police and ask if they can have someone come and take it to them. Explain it is becoming a harassing situation and that you just want it to end.
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Starburst 08:18 PM 04-15-2013
If they live that close and you know their address I would just drop it off in their mailbox/slot (why waste money on postage- they're not worth $2.38 of postage fee) when you know they are/will be home and then after you are a good distance text them: "The movie is in your mailbox. Have a nice day"- kill them with kindness lol just make sure to record the day and time. Or just have someone (someone they don't know- a friend of yours but not a daycare parent) that can just knock on the door and say "**** is returning it" and just leave; that way you have a witness that can vouch for you that you returned it in case of anything else. But at this point I would avoid as much direct contact with them as possible.
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Little Star75 08:29 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
If they live that close and you know their address I would just drop it off in their mailbox/slot (why waste money on postage- they're not worth $2.38 of postage fee) when you know they are/will be home and then after you are a good distance text them: "The movie is in your mailbox. Have a nice day"- kill them with kindness lol just make sure to record the day and time. Or just have someone (a friend of yours but not a daycare parent) that can just knock on the door and say "**** is returning it" also that way you have a witness that can vouch for you that you returned it incase of anything else. But at this point I would avoid as much direct contact with them as possible.
They aren't even worth the time to go drop off the items. I already responded to his email letting him know that his spouse has until tomorrow morning to pick up the items or I will donate them.
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mom2many 09:19 PM 04-15-2013
I personally have had a situation that ended bad years ago, when I termed a family. I simply told the dcm to come get the personal items & that they would be placed on my porch. I wanted no more contact with this individual and yet wanted the items returned to them. It was simple and she picked up the belongings the next day and we did not need to have any further contact.
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Starburst 11:17 PM 04-15-2013
Originally Posted by Little Star75:
They aren't even worth the time to go drop off the items. I already responded to his email letting him know that his spouse has until tomorrow morning to pick up the items or I will donate them.
I understand but at the same time you want to be the bigger person and if you want it to just end you need to just make sure it gets done as soon as possible because they seem like the type of people who will drag this out for as long as possible and that hold grudges for every little thing. It honestly sounds like they are energy vampires- they basically feed off of anger/frustration and suck the energy out of everyone by spreading negative energy that almost cripples people to exhaustion. At least if you return it and just don't feed into their energy anymore they will realize that they are not getting under your skin. Also they may try to call the police if you keep it or give it away.

Trust me, I can be more stubborn than a mule on anabolic steroids (as I am sure many people here know) and I know how hard it is because I am the type of person who during an argument likes to have the last word; I also hate not answering back to a personal text/e-mail. But after a while you realize some people want to see you crack under pressure or want you to lose your professional image by stooping to their level (threatening them or wishing ill of them). Also if you believe in karma, "what goes around comes around", or being "careful what you wish for" you don't want to say or think that because it just creates more negative energy for you. That's why it is better to play it cool and not let them see you sweat. The best revenge is success.
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countrymom 06:33 AM 04-16-2013
why wouldn't you end all ties and just send it thru the mail. I think your now causing more problems with having the spouse pick it up.
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Blackcat31 06:52 AM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
If they live that close and you know their address I would just drop it off in their mailbox/slot (why waste money on postage- they're not worth $2.38 of postage fee) when you know they are/will be home and then after you are a good distance text them: "The movie is in your mailbox. Have a nice day"- kill them with kindness lol just make sure to record the day and time. Or just have someone (someone they don't know- a friend of yours but not a daycare parent) that can just knock on the door and say "**** is returning it" and just leave; that way you have a witness that can vouch for you that you returned it in case of anything else. But at this point I would avoid as much direct contact with them as possible.
Using a mailbox to drop things off in, is a federal offense. Mailing the video (even at the expense of postage) is the right thing to do.

I would NEVER just place something in someone's mailbox and/or on their front porch and just "hope" that it is there and that I could later prove that I returned it.


Originally Posted by Starburst:
Trust me, I can be more stubborn than a mule on anabolic steroids (as I am sure many people here know) and I know how hard it is because I am the type of person who during an argument likes to have the last word; I also hate not answering back to a personal text/e-mail.
THAT behavior is NOT at all professional. Insisting on having the last word???

Being stubborn and continuing to answer and reply to constant e-mails and texts is absolutely the WORST thing you could do IMHO as far as remaining professional.

Sounds like DCK behavior.



OP~ You need to STOP replying to anything they send, e-mail or text you.

Send their belongings back to them via certified mail.

Document and save all communication between you and them.

If they owe you fees for services per your contract, write them a demand for payment letter outlining what they owe and by what date.

Send it certified mail.

If they do not comply, take them to small claims court and let the courts handle it.

Do NOT communicate further with them.

If DCD continues to call/e-mail/text you, do NOT respond. Just call the police and file a complaint for harassment.

The absolute WORST thing a provider can do in this situation is to stoop to childish or anger driven behavior. Be the business owner you are and do NOT allow your feelings to become involved in this business matter.
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AnneCordelia 07:41 AM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
OP~ You need to STOP replying to anything they send, e-mail or text you.

Send their belongings back to them via certified mail.

Document and save all communication between you and them.

If they owe you fees for services per your contract, write them a demand for payment letter outlining what they owe and by what date.

Send it certified mail.

If they do not comply, take them to small claims court and let the courts handle it.

Do NOT communicate further with them.

If DCD continues to call/e-mail/text you, do NOT respond. Just call the police and file a complaint for harassment.

The absolute WORST thing a provider can do in this situation is to stoop to childish or anger driven behavior. Be the business owner you are and do NOT allow your feelings to become involved in this business matter.
Best advice. Please take it.
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Starburst 10:07 AM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Using a mailbox to drop things off in, is a federal offense. Mailing the video (even at the expense of postage) is the right thing to do.

I would NEVER just place something in someone's mailbox and/or on their front porch and just "hope" that it is there and that I could later prove that I returned it.

THAT behavior is NOT at all professional. Insisting on having the last word???

Being stubborn and continuing to answer and reply to constant e-mails and texts is absolutely the WORST thing you could do IMHO as far as remaining professional.

Sounds like DCK behavior.
I seriously have a feeling you just do not like anything I have to say lately or you find something wrong with everything I say when I am just trying to be helpful because you only pick the set up part of my post and not the actual meat of the message (aka the lesion). Sorry if I am not as direct where I just flat out say things and for trying to have a little humor to lighten the mood. I like to set up a little saying I know how it feels to want to win and to let the person know I am not attacking them and that I know how it feels to be in their shoes. But trying to get the point across that there are times when you win more when you just do what you have to do to get through it and try to be as civil as possible. I was in NO WAY telling her to hold it in and be stubborn or to answer the texts. I was saying: "I also hate not answering back to a personal text/e-mail" because its an OCD thing and it feels incomplete. I was trying to say that its stooping to their level by doing that and to just let it go and don't feed into it. And yes those are my worst qualities and I am working on it because I know its not professional. I never said it was professional, because I was never promoting it. I was trying to think of ways to not feed into this and at the same time be courteous. I was telling her that sometimes you just need to let go it and that I know sometimes you want the last word but that doesn't always mean you won. Like I said I am not direct, I talk in metaphors/similes and stories to help people use their emotions in the right way instead of the wrong way. Its not that emotions have no place in business its just that you have to think things trough in multiple ways to understand what your emotions mean and which ones are rational and which ones aren't. Sometimes you emotions (gut feeling) can help but you need to break it down logically to understand what is best for all parties- especially for yourself.

The mailbox thing just seemed more secure than leaving it on the door step where anyone can walk by and that way she doesn't have to feed into what they want a face-to-face confrontation and that she wouldn't have to waste anymore money on them (especially because they live so close). Also it seems like they just wont let up no matter what and they may come up with any excuse like "We never got it, it must have gotten lost in the mail. You need to buy us a new copy or pay to replace it". I also suggested that she could have someone who can act as a witness by delivering it to them (like serving court papers) but there is also the risk of that person getting harassed by them too.
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Blackcat31 10:30 AM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
I seriously have a feeling you just do not like anything I have to say lately or you find something wrong with everything I say when I am just trying to be helpful
Apologies if you feel that way but it is NOT my intention. (??)

I don't always read who it is posting.....just the content. If you think anything I say is a personal attack onto you, that is on you as I am most certainly not attacking anyone....

Originally Posted by Starburst:
because you only pick the set up part of my post and not the actual meat of the message (aka the lesion). Sorry if I am not as direct where I just flat out say things and for trying to have a little humor to lighten the mood. I like to set up a little saying I know how it feels to want to win and to let the person know I am not attacking them and that I know how it feels to be in their shoes. But trying to get the point across that there are times when you win more when you just do what you have to do to get through it and try to be as civil as possible. I was in NO WAY telling her to hold it in and be stubborn or to answer the texts. I was saying: "I also hate not answering back to a personal text/e-mail" because its an OCD thing and it feels incomplete. I was trying to say that its stooping to their level by doing that and to just let it go and don't feed into it. And yes those are my worst qualities and I am working on it because I know its not professional. I never said it was professional, because I was never promoting it. I was trying to think of ways to not feed into this and at the same time be courteous. I was telling her that sometimes you just need to let go it and that I know sometimes you want the last word but that doesn't always mean you won. Like I said I am not direct, I talk in metaphors/similes and stories to help people use their emotions in the right way instead of the wrong way. Its not that emotions have no place in business its just that you have to think things trough in multiple ways to understand what your emotions mean and which ones are rational and which ones aren't. Sometimes you emotions (gut feeling) can help but you need to break it down logically to understand what is best for all parties- especially for yourself..
I am not sure what your point is here.....

I gave MY personal opinions....hence the use of "I" and "IMHO"

NOTHING in my post is an attack on YOU...only MY personal feelings in regards to the advice given.

Originally Posted by Starburst:
The mailbox thing just seemed more secure than leaving it on the door step where anyone can walk by and that way she doesn't have to feed into what they want a face-to-face confrontation and that she wouldn't have to waste anymore money on them (especially because they live so close). Also it seems like they just wont let up no matter what and they may come up with any excuse like "We never got it, it must have gotten lost in the mail. You need to buy us a new copy or pay to replace it". I also suggested that she could have someone who can act as a witness by delivering it to them (like serving court papers) but there is also the risk of that person getting harassed by them too.
I "get it", I just wouldn't do it. It's against the law.
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Starburst 10:40 AM 04-16-2013
Sorry that's one of the reasons why I am not too direct all the time. Because I do tend to take things personally, even if they aren't meant to be. That's why I try to let people know I understand their point of view before I get into my own thoughts or to show them lesions I have learned from my own experiences because I am afraid of hurting someone's feelings.
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cheerfuldom 10:43 AM 04-16-2013
you can send mail with a delivery confirmation, which is what BC was referring to. The recipients have to sign in order to receive so you have proof of delivery. If they refuse to sign, you will have proof of that too! I agree wholeheartedly with everything BC advised!
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Willow 10:55 AM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
you can send mail with a delivery confirmation, which is what BC was referring to. The recipients have to sign in order to receive so you have proof of delivery. If they refuse to sign, you will have proof of that too! I agree wholeheartedly with everything BC advised!

Ditto.

Sorry to say but if you do anything less you may as well be asking for more trouble. Sounds like this dad is a serious manipulator and enjoys control. The more you continue to participate the more he'll keep laying on you.

I would not have any direct contact with him whatsoever. If you must leave the items on your step but please stop entertaining his charades.
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Crystal 01:09 PM 04-16-2013
Edited because I just learned something new and I shoulda just stayed out of it.

Thanks Willow!
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Willow 02:11 PM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Edited because I just learned something new and I shoulda just stayed out of it.

Thanks Willow!
That means a lot to me, thanks for the consideration!
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Crystal 06:33 PM 04-16-2013
You betcha
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AmyKidsCo 08:21 PM 04-16-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I would mail it anyways and cut all contact. This man is still trying to show you who's the boss.
Back to the original topic, if you think there may be problems I would definitely send it registered mail (so they have to sign that they received it) so you have proof that they did receive the movie. And like someone else said, be sure to DOCUMENT everything, beginning when the problems started. Even if you didn't document at the time, sit down now and document the best you can remember; you won't remember it any better a week from now...
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bubbiesmama807 02:21 PM 04-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
OP~ You need to STOP replying to anything they send, e-mail or text you.

Send their belongings back to them via certified mail.

Document and save all communication between you and them.

If they owe you fees for services per your contract, write them a demand for payment letter outlining what they owe and by what date.

Send it certified mail.

If they do not comply, take them to small claims court and let the courts handle it.

Do NOT communicate further with them.

If DCD continues to call/e-mail/text you, do NOT respond. Just call the police and file a complaint for harassment.

The absolute WORST thing a provider can do in this situation is to stoop to childish or anger driven behavior. Be the business owner you are and do NOT allow your feelings to become involved in this business matter.
^^^ This right here..I agree with it, and it's pretty much what I'd advise as well.
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