I have an interview this evening with the whole family and I have a feeling the mom is super in charge. How to I make it VERY apparent I call the shots without saying:

My house my rules ALL the time.

I have a contract that spells it out to a T but have a feeling this mom will need to really understand I call the shots.

How do you guys really put your foot down at interviews without coming off as aloof and witchy?

I haven't had this issue as of late but have a feeling....

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I'm not sure you can give someone like that, that impression, in one evening's time.

Just reiterate (not so many times you come off as obnoxious) that you have and follow all of your policies to the letter because they help keep your families happy and your business running smoothly. Beyond that just reinforce as you go.


Hopefully she is just coming off like she overly rules the roost in front of you because she overcompensating for her insecurities with the idea of having her kids in daycare or with a new provider. I've had lots of moms come in on the take charge/offensive right off the bat only to relax substantially once they realized they didn't have to continue be that way and things would still be fine.

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Sounds good!

After 2.5yrs of doing home daycare I'm still learning the "give them an inch they'll take a mile" rule. I don't want to make that mistake with this family as it'll be a sibling group and I'll have two kids to make sure I keep up on.

I'm running on burnout out here lately and don't wanna be snippy but at this point I just want to say "hi, I'm E, FOLLOW ALL THE RULES OR GET OUT" right off the bat.

Lol

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I think one of the keys to that balance is to make sure you have the upper hand in the interview--make sure that you are leading the discussion, present the rules from your handbook before they ask their questions, invite them to ask their questions after you've presented all of your stuff. Be super polite, but present it all in terms of "this is how we do it "

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HA!!!!!

Keep that in the forefront of your mind and I'm sure it'll come out in what you say and do!


I'm fairly green and am still growing my proverbial pair too, can definitely be a painful process sometimes

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I am not sure you can convey that too much at an interview either but what you do is: right from the start don't let her break the rules.

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During interviews I always tell parents "here are my rules. They are all common sense and based on a mutual respect that we should have for each other. I expect everyone to be able to follow my rules and if not their contract will be terminated". It may have list me a few interviews over the years but I'm usually full and my parents usually follow the rules. Every once in while I have to remind them though like today, grandma was supposed to drop child off at 8:30 am and I still hadn't heard from her by 9 am so I called and she child the child had just woke up and was eating breakfast. I said "do you know what that means for me?" and when she asked I told her it meant that he wouldn't be ready to eat when the rest of the kids eat and worst of all when I'm putting the 8 children down for nap he will be wide awake and keep everyone up. She got it and won't do it again but to be safe I'm adding a rule about droping off late to my contract!

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This^

I normally carry the packet I am going to send them home with, and first walk around and show them the area, then I stop and give them a run down on what we do, what I offer, and what I expect. Then, and only then, do I ask if they have any questions. Most of the time, they always smile and say I have been very thorough.

Sometimes while I am showing them around they may ask me something that has nothing to do with the area I am showing them or discussing, and I will just say "That's a good question, I will get to that in just a moment". I always lead the discussion. I let them know what is most important to me. I'm pretty forgiving, and I will often work with parents that are running late for pick-up or ask to be late for pick-up in advance, and even though I state I charge a late fee, I often don't. I let the parents know during the interview that I have 2 pet peeves. One being, "if you are chronically late picking up I will term you." Two, "even though I state I charge a late fee for late payments, if you are late on a regular basis, I will term you."

I find that when I lead the discussion, the entire interview process goes smoothly. I'm very friendly, but I let people know who I am and what I am about, from the get go. I want the parents to know they can openly communicate with me at anytime, and so far this has worked for me.

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At the beginning of a tour. I mention words like
"so glad you are interested in applying for a place with us"....

Right off the bat, it puts me in charge and let's them know they are applying for a place....it's not a given and it's not just their decision.

Some parents will end the interview with "where do I sign?"

If I am not sure I want them due to fussiness/I want special/balking at certain rules etc.....I just cheerfully say
"Well...I have two more families interested in applying for the spot. I will decide which child I will take by Friday and let you know"

I don't ever let a parent get the idea they are "hiring" me.

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also unless you are super strapped for kids give yourself the benefit of the doubt if you are getting vibes that you can't work with this parent then cut your losses before agreeing to take them on as your client.

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I don't think I would talk to a grandparent like that or a parent. What they do when they have the child is not my concern. I want that child to be with grandparents or parents as much as they can. If that puts me out a bit, oh well for me. I am talking about a once in a while thing not at an inconsiderate everyday occurrence. I find most kids, not all but most kids will adapt to my schedule because I don't cave into it, and it is just what we do. This is how I see this today, another day another a child, another etc... could have me thinking differently. No doubt it would have been nice and considerate for the parent or gram to give a call- but most of the time they don't.

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I really like this and I need to get better at this myself.

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Yes this is both good advice. It is important to use the right language so no one ever thinks they are "hiring" you, they are buying a service from you and you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you.

It is important to say "This is how we do things..." rather than trying to be nicey-nice and uber flexible so that the family is won over. I don't try to win anyone over but rather present my services as they are and then the parent is invited to ask questions.

The words you use set the format for the relationship.

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back in the early days I tried to be the overly flexible one. I wanted the family. I wanted any family.

They left and I started asking myself........what do you mean I am going to drag out my child's game system for this kid to keep him entertained? What marbles did I lose when I said I would play endless games with this kid because this kid would be my oldest kid here. Another one, after telling the parents how healthy my food program was, I turned it around and asked what they fed the child at home- the child was like 6months old if that. Cup of noodles, nuggets, fries, sometimes cereal if we have it, and then the parent added that I needed to let the diapers fill up nice and full because they were on a tight budget. Once a day was enough unless the child pooped but even then let it go as long as you can. I can't believe I considered taking this on. I just wanted clients. I think I thought I could change the world too. I can impact but I can't fix stupid! I really think I personally lost some of my marbles considering some of these people. I have to know my limits and limitations and I am not equipped to handle every situation thrown my way. I am in a job where I can pick and decide who I want to work with. One bad apple can have a trickle down effect on your whole crew. Do I want to end my day with no brains left and be a pile of mush. No.

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When I KNOW that I will not enroll them I say "I am still conducting interviews for this spot and will let you know via _______ (email, phone call, etc) no later than X date. Always goes over well and then I just send them an email or make a phone call that's always akward but saves a LOT of headaches in the end.

I lead the convo from the get go, we go for a quick tour, I have a list of what I offer and what a typical day is like in care, I bullet point my handbook, and I tell them that each policy in place is because it happened to me atleast once and I don't want it to happen again. I then state that I don't expect them to be perfect but I do expect them to follow the parent handbook and that I do NOT deviate from it or make exceptions. Then I ask if they have any questions. They usually don't.

(one Mom recently through me for a loop when she said she wanted to know that each child in care had received the rotavirus vaccine recently because she was pulling her ds from a center bc he got sick) she got a lecture about how it might have been contracted anywhere and about privacy rights and told her that all of my daycare kids were UTD on REQUIRED immunizations. They didn't enroll.... thankfully.

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one of the things that I tell parents is that because I am the only one here, that I must wear many hats to make the business run successfully.

The only way that I can guarantee a great and successful childcare is to have all parents on board with all my my rules and policies. While I don't want to come off sounding like a crazy woman, I do have a PHB that I have written over the years that helps everyone to have a better understanding of why these rules are in place.

I hope tonight that I can go over my polices with you and you can have all of your questions or concerns addressed. Please ask any and all questions/concerns you have.

SOmething like this.... I always take the lead when I do an interview. I tell them how I run my program and let them ask me questions.

Example: DCP says----- you don't offer baby bottles what will we do, my child can only drink from a bottle. (btw my ages are 20months and up) I tell them don't worry, when your child is with me, they will be able to do things you never knew they could do. First off, if your child is never offered one here, they will never have the need for it. It was never an option in the first place to them, so they tend to do well without them from the start. Secondly, they will see that no one else has one and will be ok with that.

I am basically shutting the mom down in a nice way without telling her no.

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While that may work for you it doesn't work for me. In the last 10 years I've realized that my clients can only do things to me if I let them. My parents appreciate the fact that I tell them how it is and for the most part they do call when running late or if they need to drop off early etc. If they didn't they would no longer be clients of mine. I'm in the middle of redoing my contracts and policies right now and as I handed them out when parents were picking up their children one parent said to me (and in front of other parents), "this is because of me, I've had a crazy 2 weeks" and I said "No, it's because of all of you. None of you do anything on your own that would be a problem but I'm dealing with 10 families and when one family arrives late for pick up one day and another parent shows up early the next day and so on I end up with a headache by the end of the week". Her response was, "that's what I love about you, you don't get emotional about it you just tell it like it is". She said "I hope next week will be better" and I responded with "me too, because next week there will be more consequences". Also I find that "once in a while things" end up being an inconsiderate every day occurrence if they are left unchecked.
As far as a parent or grandparent showing up late and not calling I find it disrespectful. I run a preschool program, when someone shows up late and I'm in the middle of reading a book I have to put the book down, answer the door, put the child's stuff in their cubby, wash their hands and get them ready for the day, by the time this is done no one cares about the book anymore. If they don't call I have to take time to call them and see when/if they are planning to come that day. I have no problem with children being with grandparents or parents but to not call and tell me their schedule changes is rude.
When I called grandma the child was already running 1/2 hour late, he regularly arrives at 8:30 and didn't get here until after 10:30. He had slept in and eaten late so he barely touched his lunch and when nap time came he did lay down but since he wasn't tired he kept some of the other kids up with his moving around and noise. I'm sure his parents won't appreciate that he will want to sleep during dinner tonight and be awake after his normal bedtime, I'm also fairly certain it won't happen again.

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The interview went good last night from my standpoint and I felt strong and to the point. The parents seemed impressed and I have a feeling after they re-review the contract they may say they want to come here. I on the other hand, after some red flags, will deny them.

I haven't interviewed in a year so it was a good brush up. Also, THANKS to you guys. Always the constant help and voice of support and ideas.

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