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Greenshadow 09:30 AM 06-10-2010
I have a 2 year old girl who is able to go potty in the toilet. The issue is, she cant pull her own panties and outerwear up by herself or down by herself. With other toddlers in the house, its hard for me to go help her pull them down, leave and then come back to help her pull them up. If I ask her to do it herself she tells me she cant and starts to cry. She just stands there. Her parents think she is potty trained but she isnt to me if she cant pull up/take down her own panties and outerwear. What do you do for potty training? Do you make them pull up their own clothes or do you do it for them, every time? I dont see how my doing that for her is helping her learn. Her parents want her in preschool by December. No preschool has time to go in and assist her with pulling up her own pants, etc every time she has to go potty...atleast none that Ive ever worked at.

I have talked to her parents about this and they dont seem to think its a big deal. I guess it isnt to them, but they dont have five other toddlers running around the house while they are in the bathroom helping her.

What advice do you have for me?
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 09:40 AM 06-10-2010
I put pullups over panties and unders. they still get wet, but dont leak. =-) my policy is below

I do not push to potty learn. I believe that a child will only learn when they are ready and no amount of coaxing is going to make it happen any easier. All children become ready to toilet learn at different ages but it is generally considered to wait until the child is at least 2 yrs of age, before that time he or she is not physically or emotionally prepared to control his or her bowel or bladder movements. Work with them first at night and on weekends. As they progress and experience success at home I will work with them during the day. Once everyone has decided the child is ready to toilet learn, the only time diapers should be used is at naps and bedtime. When your child is ready to toilet learn please dress them in easy to remove clothing. No Belts, zippers, snaps or buttons that your child can not manage alone. Elastic waistbands are the easiest for the child to control.
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Greenshadow 09:46 AM 06-10-2010
Well she is going potty (#1 and #2) in the potty. She wears a pull up at naptime. She wears tight fitting leggings/shorts/pants alot. Maybe I need to have her come in dresses or something instead.

Do you assist your potty trainers with pulling up/taking down their panties and outerwear though?
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 09:51 AM 06-10-2010
I dont have a problem with it, I follow them to the potty, pop them on it, walk back out and listen whie watching the kids play, then wipe them, pull their pants up and wash my hands, then theirs. Mine are never alone in the potty
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Unregistered 10:01 AM 06-10-2010
Originally Posted by Greenshadow:
I have a 2 year old girl who is able to go potty in the toilet. The issue is, she cant pull her own panties and outerwear up by herself or down by herself. With other toddlers in the house, its hard for me to go help her pull them down, leave and then come back to help her pull them up. If I ask her to do it herself she tells me she cant and starts to cry. She just stands there. Her parents think she is potty trained but she isnt to me if she cant pull up/take down her own panties and outerwear. What do you do for potty training? Do you make them pull up their own clothes or do you do it for them, every time? I dont see how my doing that for her is helping her learn. Her parents want her in preschool by December. No preschool has time to go in and assist her with pulling up her own pants, etc every time she has to go potty...atleast none that Ive ever worked at.

I have talked to her parents about this and they dont seem to think its a big deal. I guess it isnt to them, but they dont have five other toddlers running around the house while they are in the bathroom helping her.

What advice do you have for me?

Dont you wipe her? With my kids and daycare kids when they where 1, 2, 3 they needed help wiping and help with pants pulling up and down I just pull there pants down sit them on the toilet wait for them to tell me they are done I wipe them pull up there pants help with flushing and handwashing. I have to disagree with you ladydutchess some kids ARE ready before 2 my little girl WANTED to be trained at 1 she didnt wanna wear diapers anymore and I trained her in 5 days the normal age is usually 2 thou.
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Greenshadow 10:24 AM 06-10-2010
It must depend on the age of the children you are watching..because this little girl needs help taking down her panties/pants, help to sit on the toilet, then I leave to tend to a toddler, come back to help her off the potty, wipe, pull her pants up and wash hands. When I worked at Headstart or any other daycare center, we did not assist the children with this. They were capable of doing this on their own. Am I the only one who thinks that children should be pulling up their own panties and pants when they go potty? She is capable of washing her hands, etc on her own, now that Ive taught her how.
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JJPlaycare 10:34 AM 06-10-2010
I feel for you I have the same situation going on! Only it is a little boy and he is 3, yes 3!!! I cannot believe it, but nope he cannot pull his pants up or down, not even elastic waist pants - absolutely no clue!! I have resorted to standing there and making him do it, with little assistance - which does take time away from all of the other kids! It really stinks! He is going to go to preschool in the fall and it is the same preschool I just sent my daughter too! I keep telling him that he needs to pull up his pants cause they aren't going to do it for him at school! He just says "I can't" and stands there looking completely helpless and for someone to do it for him!! In the prechool contract it says this is one of the skills they need to have, being able to pull there pants up and down! I always wipe poopy butts and my little girls bottoms, until they are capable of doing it themselves, but it gets really frusterating when they do nothing for themselves! He is extremely spoiled and someone is doing this all for him and it isn't ME! I have talked to mom and again not a big deal, OBVIOUSLY because it wouldn't have come this far if it was a big deal to her!! My kids wanted independence and it makes me think when I get a kid who is lacking in such independence and wonder how that even happens!! I guess I would just ask for easier clothes and show her a few times how to do it and assist as little as possible and hopefully she will figure it out soon enough!! The little boy I have does the same thing for shoes and outerwear, really frusterating!! Good Luck! : I
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 10:42 AM 06-10-2010
yes I have had kids train before 2, but Ive also had them way later. Which is why I said,.. generally best to wait. because it is generally best to wait.
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fctjc1979 10:46 AM 06-10-2010
I had a three year old boy who could get his pants off but couldn't get his pull-ups to go down. I showed him how to put his thumbs between his skin and his pull-ups and push down. It usually works best if their thumbs are more toward their back then their front. It took him a few days to really be able to do it on his own but he got it. He tried for a while to pull off and pull up his pants and pullups at the same time but it really works better to have them do it one at a time. We were still working on pulling the pull ups back on when I terminated the family.
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Janet 11:13 AM 06-10-2010
I figure it this way, if a child is going potty training then the child should be learning to wipe by herself/himself and to pull underwear and pants down and up on their own. Nothing bothers me more than hearing a child say "Come wipe my butt". That happened to me only once and that was enough. The parents were wiping her butt at home and she figured that she could try it on me (even though she has always wiped her own butt here). Her parents were shocked when I told them at pick up time that dcg knew how to wipe her butt and how to wash her hands on her own. Potty training is more than just peeing or pooping in the potty. It involves teaching the child how to INDEPENDENTLY do everything from pulling down their pants to washing their hands, and everything in between.
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Greenshadow 11:20 AM 06-10-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I figure it this way, if a child is going potty training then the child should be learning to wipe by herself/himself and to pull underwear and pants down and up on their own. Nothing bothers me more than hearing a child say "Come wipe my butt". That happened to me only once and that was enough. The parents were wiping her butt at home and she figured that she could try it on me (even though she has always wiped her own butt here). Her parents were shocked when I told them at pick up time that dcg knew how to wipe her butt and how to wash her hands on her own. Potty training is more than just peeing or pooping in the potty. It involves teaching the child how to INDEPENDENTLY do everything from pulling down their pants to washing their hands, and everything in between.
Thank you! Thats how I feel exactly!!! Now, what can I do to get her to do it?? LOL. I cant stand there helping her. If I dont help her, she cries and says "I cant" the whole time. I have to do it or she just stands there helpless.
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mac60 11:30 AM 06-10-2010
I am having the same issues, and the same questions. At age 4, shouldn't a girl be able to go potty alone, wipe, and wash hands? At 3 1/2 shouldnt a girl be able to take panties down and up and snap them back up and wipe too?

This came up in conversation yesterday about a 3 1/2 yr dcg. I figured out why there was always pee on the seat from her. She doesn't unsnap her pants, then doesn't pull her pants and panties down far enough to sit on the toilet right and spread her legs a little to let the pee go into the toilet....She gets it all over the seat, and doesn't wipe either.....Mom says they do it all at home. OMG, part of going to the toilet is learning to pull pants up and down, snap and zip, wipe own self, and wash hands. If you can't do this after 6 months to a year, maybe you better go back into pull ups until you can......or else parents need to teach their children self help skills. I have started going in with them each time, but it does get overwhelming, as a 4 1/2 yr old should be able to pee, wipe, and wash with no help and not getting it all over the toilet.
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Janet 11:42 AM 06-10-2010
I've had luck with just encouraging the crap out of them and praising them when they pull up their pant, etc...

Talk to the parents about your concerns and ask them if they can just do what you do at home. It helps to make things go more smoothly. Also, if the kid makes a mess on the seat, then have them clean it. That tends to help them to be more careful, lol.
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melissa ann 03:43 PM 06-10-2010
I have a dcg who is 3, she was potty trained right after she turned 2. But even back then, mom would bring her in overalls, pants w/snaps, zippers, still does. Dcg has trouble with them. So on those days, I put on a pair of shorts (elastic) or a dress and change her back before pick-up. I only wipe her butt when she poops or she will go through a half roll of tp.
Her cousin, who was 4 months past 3 yrs when I started working with him about potty training, wouldn't pull up/down his pants. I helped him at first then left him in the bathroom until he did it himself. g-pa treats him like a baby and does everything for him.
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QualiTcare 09:25 PM 06-10-2010
that's bull.

i haven't met a two year old yet that has a problem pulling their pants down when they wanna run around naked!

she can do it - you just need to use your mean voice.

and HECK NO i wouldn't be wiping butts. they can do it just fine and the sooner they start doing it on their own, the better.
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Greenshadow 03:20 AM 06-11-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
that's bull.

i haven't met a two year old yet that has a problem pulling their pants down when they wanna run around naked!

she can do it - you just need to use your mean voice.

and HECK NO i wouldn't be wiping butts. they can do it just fine and the sooner they start doing it on their own, the better.
I agree. The issue is she just flat out wont do it. She stands there trying and grunting and whimpering and telling me she cant do it. If I stand there trying to get her to do it herself, eventually, I end up with the entire daycare standing there trying to help or get into everything in that vacinity and it turns into this huge episode. So eventually I end up helping her because otherwise she will just stand there all day. Ive shown her how over and over. Ive told her how she has to pull up her panties FIRST and then her pants. She doesnt get it. She tries to pull up her pants with her panties together and it wont work.

I said the same thing to my husband about running around naked! All three of my own children have all naturally wanted to remove their clothing and try to put on clothing by themselves. Whats wrong with this little girl? I dont know. She is so used to having mommy slave do it for her, I think.
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Francine 03:36 AM 06-11-2010
I seem to be a odd one out here but I wouldn't really have a problem helping her, granted I don't know the kid so I don't know what you are dealing with. For me, I would rather go in do a quick wipe, pull up the pants, wash the hands and be out of there in two seconds. I don't really want them wiping themselves until they can do it properly and without making a mess everywhere. I would rather wipe a butt than have to clean poop off of my toilet, vanity and everything the kid touches in the process. If she were 4-5 it would be different but at 2 I just figure that she will get it effentually. Good Luck
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mismatchedsocks 06:29 AM 06-11-2010
I think if she is as far along as being potty trained where she knows to go to the bathroom to go pee and poop and can get up on the toilet she can defintely pull up and down her clothes. I would not physically help her, but I would stand there and say pull up your pants, or even take off your pants. She knows how and is wanting you to do it.
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QualiTcare 04:39 PM 06-11-2010
Originally Posted by Greenshadow:
I agree. The issue is she just flat out wont do it. She stands there trying and grunting and whimpering and telling me she cant do it. If I stand there trying to get her to do it herself, eventually, I end up with the entire daycare standing there trying to help or get into everything in that vacinity and it turns into this huge episode. So eventually I end up helping her because otherwise she will just stand there all day. Ive shown her how over and over. Ive told her how she has to pull up her panties FIRST and then her pants. She doesnt get it. She tries to pull up her pants with her panties together and it wont work.

I said the same thing to my husband about running around naked! All three of my own children have all naturally wanted to remove their clothing and try to put on clothing by themselves. Whats wrong with this little girl? I dont know. She is so used to having mommy slave do it for her, I think.
you need to turn into the stubborn one. don't help her - let her stand there all day if she wants to. if she pees on herself, oh well. she'll figure out soon if she doesn't pull her pants down, she'll have squishy pants.
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Familycare71 05:12 AM 09-11-2013
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
I feel for you I have the same situation going on! Only it is a little boy and he is 3, yes 3!!! I cannot believe it, but nope he cannot pull his pants up or down, not even elastic waist pants - absolutely no clue!! I have resorted to standing there and making him do it, with little assistance - which does take time away from all of the other kids! It really stinks! He is going to go to preschool in the fall and it is the same preschool I just sent my daughter too! I keep telling him that he needs to pull up his pants cause they aren't going to do it for him at school! He just says "I can't" and stands there looking completely helpless and for someone to do it for him!! In the prechool contract it says this is one of the skills they need to have, being able to pull there pants up and down! I always wipe poopy butts and my little girls bottoms, until they are capable of doing it themselves, but it gets really frusterating when they do nothing for themselves! He is extremely spoiled and someone is doing this all for him and it isn't ME! I have talked to mom and again not a big deal, OBVIOUSLY because it wouldn't have come this far if it was a big deal to her!! My kids wanted independence and it makes me think when I get a kid who is lacking in such independence and wonder how that even happens!! I guess I would just ask for easier clothes and show her a few times how to do it and assist as little as possible and hopefully she will figure it out soon enough!! The little boy I have does the same thing for shoes and outerwear, really frusterating!! Good Luck! : I
How can you have this dcb when I do!?!
Completely clueless- I do the same- you can do it! And help as little as possible! He has been here a month and still struggles! sometimes he even tries to put his feet in the bottom of the leg hole instead of the waist!
I just don't understand but- be is at least willing to try most times now
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TheGoodLife 05:22 AM 09-11-2013
That's my situation, too, except mine is one year AND DCM wants me to put her on the potty at certain intervals. My policy states that I don't do either, that they must meet certain requirements including being able to dress/undress self and recognize the need to potty and tell me (bladder control). Meanwhile I have another DCG who is 2. Potty trained fully at home, but having a couple issues here. Mom is understanding, says she's OK not rushing it while we work on it here, and we are close to finding success! Now of I can only get DCM#1 to understand that her daughter is too young/ not ready to train here (she's new, non-verbal- at least that I can understand yet- and still scared and transitioning to being here).
Good luck with your DCK! Are parents on board with having them practice dressing at home, or are they just doing it themselves?
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MyAngels 05:44 AM 09-11-2013
Hopefully she already resolved this. This thread is over 3 years old
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Familycare71 05:52 AM 09-11-2013
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Hopefully she already resolved this. This thread is over 3 years old
Ugh! Tricked again!!!
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