So I have a sweet DCG, 28 months old, who has been potty trained at home for a few months. She was very slow going here, but was finally doing well and went to underwear (have to be 2 weeks accident free here)! After a couple weeks she started having accidents. Small, but finally last week she full out peed on our kid couch and in the bathroom. So back to pull-ups it went.
Well now she's using them like underwear She also always asks DCM for a "treat" when she was going potty here- I stopped giving any rewards but she still gets them at home. At PU she's always have to "go" with her mom, even if she had just gone 10 minutes before. I knew it was just to show mom and get a treat.
Any suggestions? I thought about asking her mom to stop treats at home and I could do sticker rewards again for a while until she seemed to be doing it on a regular basis again?

Reply

I'm going to bump this- still looking for any other suggestions. DCM was understanding when I brought up the idea of cutting out the potty treats at home (which was wonderful considering DCG was begging for gum at PU when she had peed in her pull up all day and had no toilet times)- she is very supportive and receptive, which is appreciated Just trying to see if anyone else had a DCK who wouldn't go at DC but was 100% trained at home and with other family members. I've tried to make it as similar here as at home and be as supportive as possible, but she is very shy and obviously really wants her potty treats. (She had spent the weekend at Gma's over the weekend and would go every 30 minutes b/c they would give her candy or gum each time )

Reply

I'm actually going through the same thing here. I started out with stickers but they did not seem to be very receptive to that. I was trying 3 at once. One of the DKGs has left now and the other two have been more willing to do things on their own. (the one that left was a real bully at 2) My daughter is 3 and responds more to rewards and the 27mos old responds more to punishment. If that makes since? My DD will stay dry all day so she can get a dum-dum sucker at the end of the Daycare day even though she nevers eats the whole thing. But the DCG just says "no sucker today" when she wets her pants. Mom and Dad expect her to stay dry while at home including at bedtime. They have not bought pull ups or diapers for home even at night. But i make her wear a pull up during nap and if she wets her panties she has to clean her self up and wear a pull up the rest of the day. A few times I have even said she could not wear panties while here the next day because she wet so many times within the day. She gets very upset when Dad brings her in big girl panties and I make her change into a pull up as soon as she gets here. But that has seemed to work she does not like the pull ups after wearing panties. If she is that eager at home to go just to get a candy then I think the reward should be changed or eliminated. I actually have had to sit down with mom and dad and explain that I could not have her just sit around and wet everywhere in my daycare. It is a health risk for the other kids. Sounds like you and the parents need to sit down and figure out a plan together where your doing the same thing at daycare and if they want her to continue the reward system with you they will need to supply the treat or reward.
Actually my daughter is fasinated by coins. So she gets coins for going and we have a jar in the bathroom for her to put the coins in. She just likes to put the coins in the slot. Of course we just reuse the same coins over and over. Hope this helps if nothing else know your not alone with the situation.

Reply

I think it was great that you asked mom to stop doing potty treats. I refuse to reward a child with treats/toys/etc for something they need to do. When they go potty, I get all excited, tell them that they did a great job and sing a potty song or something.
It sounds to me like a power struggle..she is in control at home/ with family because if SHE goes potty, SHE gets a treat. At your house, you are in charge and she doesnt get the treats.
I would just continue what you are doing! sounds like you are doing a great job

When i worked in a center, I potty trained countless 2.5-3 yr olds and never once rewarded them with treats/stickers/toys and never had any issues with them refusing to potty train.

Reply

Her mom is very receptive and supportive (perfect DCM all around!) and has said they don't give a great consistently, just sometimes. So that made me wonder if DCG was only going potty for a treat or not, but it was one idea I had. She is bit shy here with me, doesn't like to speak up all the time, and is a young 2 (but mature for her age). Just wondering if anyone had any suggestions to add to the idea of no treats

Reply