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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Worried About 18 Month Old
Dragonfly 03:03 PM 07-22-2013
I'm having trouble with 18 month old DCB, who has been with me since he was 4 wks old. He has always been behind but does eventually accomplish things. He has issues with eating...holds food in his mouth, slow to swallow, stuffs mouth, didn't pick up food with his fingers until 13 months, cannot use a spoon or fork, and has never put objects in his mouth. He has always been a pretty laid back baby until about a month ago. He cries when I ask him to do something or tell him to not do something, or if he is told 'no'. He has cried over me asking him if he wants a strawberry. I can ask him something like 'pick out a book'...he cries. The other DCKs go through phases where they enjoy doing little "chores", not HIM...tells me 'no' and cries. At first, I was trying to encourage him to play, read, have snack, etc, but the crying has continued (this is about the 5th week) and I started putting him in time out or, for my own sanity, in his pnp until he stops crying. I've noticed that he seems to dislike my own children (12 and 14) who he used to just love. He doesn't really like the other DCKs either. He also prefers his dad over his mom, to the point of throwing a crying fit if SHE picks him up and dad is in the room. At first I thought this new behavior had to do with his dev delays. But I've seen glimpses of what seems to be plain "bratty" behavior! What do you think? Any advice is appreciated!!
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preschoolteacher 08:34 PM 07-22-2013
It doesn't seem like bratty behavior to me. It seems like this kid might be struggling with more serious developmental issues than is currently understood.

How is his language development? Could he be crying so much because he's frustrated and wants to communicate--but can't?

I have to say that I'm not a fan of time-outs for such young children--he doesn't understand consequences not in the way that time-out works for someone his age, and especially not for crying. I can understand how you need a break from it, but is there another way? A crying spot that is not punishment, but comforting and cozy that he is able to go to on his own?

What do mom and dad say about his behavior?
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Dragonfly 10:27 PM 07-22-2013
Well, in regards to the crying, the parents say he is doing the same things at home. He even cries some of the times his own mom talks to him. They know he has the eating issues but, I don't think they're concerned. I kept hoping his pediatrition or a grandma would notice and mention it to them (so I wouldn't have to). I understand he will get a more thorough evaluation at his 18 month well baby check up. I will probably suggest some things for the parents to ask his dr about. As far as language goes...he has small vocab, but does repeat words. He knows people and pets names, ball, puppy, cracker, milk, etc. I'm going to try the 'comfort spot' instead of time out. I've tried several things and time out was my last resort. Thank you so much for your input!
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Cradle2crayons 11:22 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by LittleAggies:
Well, in regards to the crying, the parents say he is doing the same things at home. He even cries some of the times his own mom talks to him. They know he has the eating issues but, I don't think they're concerned. I kept hoping his pediatrition or a grandma would notice and mention it to them (so I wouldn't have to). I understand he will get a more thorough evaluation at his 18 month well baby check up. I will probably suggest some things for the parents to ask his dr about. As far as language goes...he has small vocab, but does repeat words. He knows people and pets names, ball, puppy, cracker, milk, etc. I'm going to try the 'comfort spot' instead of time out. I've tried several things and time out was my last resort. Thank you so much for your input!
The crying spot works well and for his developmental milestones and his age, you may have to model the crying spot so he understands.

For instance::: you notice him getting frustrated and yu verbally acknowledge him, tell him you are upset with him and both go sit in the crying spot. When you notice he's calm then you be calm too. You tell him you feel better now and you get up and talk to him about it.

I had to do this once with a child for them to understand after being in trouble so much at home that the crying spot was just a calm down spot and not punishment.

He'll get it!! Make the space very comfy with pillows, books, maybe a few stuffed animals or things you have that are comfortable there.
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Tags:18 month old, crying - all day, fits
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