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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Oh The Crazy
Unregistered 06:00 AM 09-14-2016
I wrote last week about this in a thread titled "dcm wanting me to fail".
To make a long, crazy story short-er, dcg came 4 days. Dcm has been practically hysterical at drop-offs, contacting me all throughout the day - and at night - telling me how hard this was on dcg and "what an adjustment" this was. Sure, the first 2 days were rough - dcg is 19 months, never been to daycare, and has been kept highly dependent. But day 3 and 4 were awesome. Even day 1 and 2 were good for a new child. I sent happy pics, lots of updates, so dcm is really just...crazy.
Every night after care, I received texts from dcm. "Did dcg eat? How much? She's not eating for me. Her diaper is dry. Why? She won't drink for me. How many glasses of water/milk?"
Each night it has been something different, but yesterday it was basically, "She is not eating for me, her diaper has been mostly dry all night, and when I tried to wash her private parts in the bath, she complained. I'm worried she has a uti."
I finally texted back and said, "I am not comfortable with you coming back here. I require my parents to trust that I am, at least, properly feeding and watering their children, as well as changing their diapers. I may not be right, but I feel that if not today, sometime in the future, I will be blamed for something in regards to dcg. I take very good care of the children in my care, and work hard to retain a good reputation. I also feel you are the one who is not comfortable with daycare at this point, and not dcg. It is an adjustment, but not as much for dcg at this point. I will refund all prepaid money for next week."
I should mention that Monday dcm told me that when she dropped dcg off and dcg cried, dcm said she was so upset, she went home, curled into a ball on the couch, and slept all day until 3:30 pm. Drop off was at 7:30 am and her 5 year old was with her.
I could be wrong, but I don't believe this is a truly sad mother. I believe this is a mom who has kept her child (I've never met the 5 year old) oddly dependent on her - and the reason is simply because she has no desire to work. I think behind the scenes, the husband forced the issue, told her to get off her butt and find a job now that their oldest is in kindergarten and the youngest is weaned (this just happened).
I have zero sympathy here, because I believe this woman would find a way to discredit me so she could stay home longer. She mentioned having to become a stay at home mom because of a bad daycare experience with her son. I have had a bad daycare experience myself, so I don't automatically discredit when people say this. But ...wow.
So tonight I am meeting with her and her husband, because she begged for a meeting. Her husband seems kind of out of it in regards to this kind of stuff. I am only explaining why and handing back money and diapers. Hopefully dcd can help dcm become more comfortable with daycare in the future.
Thanks for reading my crazy 2 weeks
To make a long, crazy story short-er, dcg came 4 days. Dcm has been practically hysterical at drop-offs, contacting me all throughout the day - and at night - telling me how hard this was on dcg and "what an adjustment" this was. Sure, the first 2 days were rough - dcg is 19 months, never been to daycare, and has been kept highly dependent. But day 3 and 4 were awesome. Even day 1 and 2 were good for a new child. I sent happy pics, lots of updates, so dcm is really just...crazy.
Every night after care, I received texts from dcm. "Did dcg eat? How much? She's not eating for me. Her diaper is dry. Why? She won't drink for me. How many glasses of water/milk?"
Each night it has been something different, but yesterday it was basically, "She is not eating for me, her diaper has been mostly dry all night, and when I tried to wash her private parts in the bath, she complained. I'm worried she has a uti."
I finally texted back and said, "I am not comfortable with you coming back here. I require my parents to trust that I am, at least, properly feeding and watering their children, as well as changing their diapers. I may not be right, but I feel that if not today, sometime in the future, I will be blamed for something in regards to dcg. I take very good care of the children in my care, and work hard to retain a good reputation. I also feel you are the one who is not comfortable with daycare at this point, and not dcg. It is an adjustment, but not as much for dcg at this point. I will refund all prepaid money for next week."
I should mention that Monday dcm told me that when she dropped dcg off and dcg cried, dcm said she was so upset, she went home, curled into a ball on the couch, and slept all day until 3:30 pm. Drop off was at 7:30 am and her 5 year old was with her.
I could be wrong, but I don't believe this is a truly sad mother. I believe this is a mom who has kept her child (I've never met the 5 year old) oddly dependent on her - and the reason is simply because she has no desire to work. I think behind the scenes, the husband forced the issue, told her to get off her butt and find a job now that their oldest is in kindergarten and the youngest is weaned (this just happened).
I have zero sympathy here, because I believe this woman would find a way to discredit me so she could stay home longer. She mentioned having to become a stay at home mom because of a bad daycare experience with her son. I have had a bad daycare experience myself, so I don't automatically discredit when people say this. But ...wow.
So tonight I am meeting with her and her husband, because she begged for a meeting. Her husband seems kind of out of it in regards to this kind of stuff. I am only explaining why and handing back money and diapers. Hopefully dcd can help dcm become more comfortable with daycare in the future.
Thanks for reading my crazy 2 weeks
rosieteddy 06:21 AM 09-14-2016
I think you made the right call.It would only be a matter of time before she pulled the child.
MissAnn 06:23 AM 09-14-2016
Awesome response! I wouldn't feel comfortable with her either. I once told a dad (because he would come in clinging to his 4 year son and crying on my couch for 10 minutes) that he is the one who needs to trust and get comfortable with my program.....son is doing fine.
DaveA 06:31 AM 09-14-2016
Agree you should term. DCM sounds like she will be looking for the reason to pull DCK eventually, probably in loud and dramatic fashion. Not something you need to mess with.
finsup 06:43 AM 09-14-2016
I had a dcm similar to this. Hated that she had to work while I got to be with her kid all day. Shenwas resentful, angry, sent the long lists of crazy texts etc. Definitely term. I only wish I had termed mine sooner. I get wanting to be home, I really do. But if you can't, and have to use daycare, don't take out your anger/sadness at this situation o your daycare provider.
MyAngels 06:44 AM 09-14-2016
Wow, you definitely did the right thing. When you wrote about the bath incident my mind went straight to she'll be accusing you of abuse if you're not careful. Sounds like you've dodged a bullet here.
Unregistered 07:05 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Wow, you definitely did the right thing. When you wrote about the bath incident my mind went straight to she'll be accusing you of abuse if you're not careful. Sounds like you've dodged a bullet here.
This is right where my mind went, too. No way, uh-huh, no thank you.Wow, you definitely did the right thing. When you wrote about the bath incident my mind went straight to she'll be accusing you of abuse if you're not careful. Sounds like you've dodged a bullet here.
Unregistered 07:06 AM 09-14-2016
Thanks for the encouragement It's always good to know *I'm* not the crazy one 
It's always good to know *I'm* not the crazy one
sharlan 07:07 AM 09-14-2016
Definitely let this family go ASAP. This dcm does not want to work and is going to use you as the scapegoat.
Unregistered 07:12 AM 09-14-2016
You're my shero 😂. Seriously though you made the right decision. She sounds like she's all kind of coco for Cocoa Puffs.
Mike 08:12 AM 09-14-2016
Definitely the right choice. She obviously doesn't want to leave her child with daycare and could be a serious problem later. If her husband wants her working, he has a job ahead geting her, not baby, ready.
Baby Beluga 08:37 AM 09-14-2016
I think you made the right choice and your response was right one. After you sent the text did mom back peddle?
Unregistered 08:48 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
I think you made the right choice and your response was right one. After you sent the text did mom back peddle?
Big time. Texts until 11:00 pm last night and starting at 6:30 am this morning. She only gets a meeting because I think dcd is *probably* reasonable. He has no clue about the crazy texts. I think you made the right choice and your response was right one. After you sent the text did mom back peddle?
We have a smaller town, but still bigger, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. All I need is ger going on the towns Facebook page and saying something untrue about me, and my daycare is over. It's not an official fb page, but it has 20,000 members. People get a lot of info there. Where to find businesses, which ones to avoid...
Controlled Chaos 12:15 PM 09-14-2016
Let us know how the meeting goes
Poptarts22 12:41 PM 09-14-2016
Sounds crazy...and I can't deal with crazy
Rockgirl 12:47 PM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Big time. Texts until 11:00 pm last night and starting at 6:30 am this morning. She only gets a meeting because I think dcd is *probably* reasonable. He has no clue about the crazy texts.
We have a smaller town, but still bigger, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. All I need is ger going on the towns Facebook page and saying something untrue about me, and my daycare is over. It's not an official fb page, but it has 20,000 members. People get a lot of info there. Where to find businesses, which ones to avoid...
I personally wouldn't give them a meeting. Even if dcd is reasonable, dcm clearly is not. Big time. Texts until 11:00 pm last night and starting at 6:30 am this morning. She only gets a meeting because I think dcd is *probably* reasonable. He has no clue about the crazy texts.
We have a smaller town, but still bigger, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. All I need is ger going on the towns Facebook page and saying something untrue about me, and my daycare is over. It's not an official fb page, but it has 20,000 members. People get a lot of info there. Where to find businesses, which ones to avoid...
As for the fb page, are you allowed to post on it? If so, you can defend yourself....definitely don't keep a problem family just for fear of fb posts about you.
Good luck!
Baby Beluga 01:04 PM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Big time. Texts until 11:00 pm last night and starting at 6:30 am this morning. She only gets a meeting because I think dcd is *probably* reasonable. He has no clue about the crazy texts.
We have a smaller town, but still bigger, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. All I need is ger going on the towns Facebook page and saying something untrue about me, and my daycare is over. It's not an official fb page, but it has 20,000 members. People get a lot of info there. Where to find businesses, which ones to avoid...
Oh my. Well good luck this evening. Fingers crossed all goes well and you are done with crazy after this evening!Big time. Texts until 11:00 pm last night and starting at 6:30 am this morning. She only gets a meeting because I think dcd is *probably* reasonable. He has no clue about the crazy texts.
We have a smaller town, but still bigger, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire here. All I need is ger going on the towns Facebook page and saying something untrue about me, and my daycare is over. It's not an official fb page, but it has 20,000 members. People get a lot of info there. Where to find businesses, which ones to avoid...
childcaremom 01:55 PM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I personally wouldn't give them a meeting. Even if dcd is reasonable, dcm clearly is not.
As for the fb page, are you allowed to post on it? If so, you can defend yourself....definitely don't keep a problem family just for fear of fb posts about you.
Good luck!
I personally wouldn't give them a meeting. Even if dcd is reasonable, dcm clearly is not.
As for the fb page, are you allowed to post on it? If so, you can defend yourself....definitely don't keep a problem family just for fear of fb posts about you.
Good luck!
nannyde 02:52 PM 09-14-2016
I have a chapter in my book dedicated to the Stay at home mom wannabe. This mom is classic text book.
If you have the book reread the chapter before the meeting.
If you have the book reread the chapter before the meeting.
Unregistered 05:47 PM 09-14-2016
I met with dcm and dcd, and I had my husband present. They begged to stay, but we shuffled them out pretty quickly. Dcd really put things back on dcm. He was shocked at some of her texts to me. I feel pretty secure that she won't go around bad mouthing me too bad now that the husband knows her game. Good luck to him
There was a question about thr fb page, and could I post on there, too. Yes, I can, I would just rather avoid it if possible.
Nannyde I've been meaning to buy your book. Now I'm going to have to just to read that chapter.
Whoo hoo! Back to normal.
There was a question about thr fb page, and could I post on there, too. Yes, I can, I would just rather avoid it if possible.
Nannyde I've been meaning to buy your book. Now I'm going to have to just to read that chapter.
Whoo hoo! Back to normal.
Mike 05:53 PM 09-14-2016
I hope everything goes smooth from here for you.
Baby Beluga 06:49 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I met with dcm and dcd, and I had my husband present. They begged to stay, but we shuffled them out pretty quickly. Dcd really put things back on dcm. He was shocked at some of her texts to me. I feel pretty secure that she won't go around bad mouthing me too bad now that the husband knows her game. Good luck to him
There was a question about thr fb page, and could I post on there, too. Yes, I can, I would just rather avoid it if possible.
Nannyde I've been meaning to buy your book. Now I'm going to have to just to read that chapter.
Whoo hoo! Back to normal.
Yay for being back to normal! And good for dad for putting this back on mom. Isn't is funny how parents sometimes act when they think their spouse won't find out?I met with dcm and dcd, and I had my husband present. They begged to stay, but we shuffled them out pretty quickly. Dcd really put things back on dcm. He was shocked at some of her texts to me. I feel pretty secure that she won't go around bad mouthing me too bad now that the husband knows her game. Good luck to him
There was a question about thr fb page, and could I post on there, too. Yes, I can, I would just rather avoid it if possible.
Nannyde I've been meaning to buy your book. Now I'm going to have to just to read that chapter.
Whoo hoo! Back to normal.
sleepinghart 07:08 AM 09-15-2016
Could anyone tell me where the first thread about this is? Thanks in advance !
!
Baby Beluga 07:11 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by sleepinghart:
Could anyone tell me where the first thread about this is? Thanks in advance!
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=83930Could anyone tell me where the first thread about this is? Thanks in advance
!
sleepinghart 07:16 AM 09-15-2016
daycarediva 10:17 AM 09-15-2016
Good call! What a basket of nuts that one is!
I would love to be a SAHM, too but I never made my provider feel bad about things because of my own financial situation!
I would love to be a SAHM, too but I never made my provider feel bad about things because of my own financial situation!
Ariana 10:32 AM 09-15-2016
I dodged this bullet last year! A friend wanted care but was unwilling to pay my fee and sign my contract until my police report was up to date!! She was my FRIEND who has known me for a long time and we went to ECE college together! (this would be totally fair and understandable if she had not been a friend and to make it worse my report was out by only 2 months and the police were backlogged so I was holding her space for FREE....).
She also sent me a detailed list of crazy questions like what kind of insurance do I have, what is my exit plan during fires etc. Basically I knew this was going downhill fast so I used the excuse of her not wanting to pay me to dump her. We are no longer "friends"
I was going to send her a copy of my police report just to be a jerk but I decided against it. I just didn't want her to think I dumped her because of my police report.
She also sent me a detailed list of crazy questions like what kind of insurance do I have, what is my exit plan during fires etc. Basically I knew this was going downhill fast so I used the excuse of her not wanting to pay me to dump her. We are no longer "friends"
I was going to send her a copy of my police report just to be a jerk but I decided against it. I just didn't want her to think I dumped her because of my police report.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:46 AM 09-15-2016
I feel bad for any daycare provider this lady purchases services from. 
Mike 11:41 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I feel bad for any daycare provider this lady purchases services from.
I feel bad for any daycare provider this lady purchases services from.